• You Too Can Start a Black Church!

    You Too Can Start a Black Church!

    Deborrah Cooper | 08/20/2010 | Comments (5)

    Some say a church begins when a group of Believers get together for prayer and to praise Jesus Christ. If you believe that, I have a great deal on a bridge I’d like to tell you about…

  • Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

    Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

    Deborrah Cooper | 08/18/2010 | Comments (9)

    Many Black men believe that all hell broke loose in America when the 1970s feminist movement came into being. These men feel that the dysfunction in the Black community – the collapse of every institution such as our churches, schools, families and communities – is due to the distortion of gender roles brought about by feminists. Looking back fondly on the apron wearing homemaker of the 1970s, Black men long for the caretaking and attention they didn’t get as children. If a woman prefers a career to staying at home with children all day, shouldn’t she have that right with no problems from her husband? Does marriage still mean property ownership of the female?

  • Single Black Men Insist on Open Marriages?

    Single Black Men Insist on Open Marriages?

    Deborrah Cooper | 08/13/2010 | Comments (3)

    An advice seeker asked me to explain the reasons why so many young Black men are insisting that their prospective bride agree to an open marriage – or there will be no wedding.

  • Why Black Women Put Professional Black Men on ‘NIGNORE’

    Why Black Women Put Professional Black Men on ‘NIGNORE’

    Men write me frequently to get my take on why Black women complain that they “can’t find a good Black man” or “can’t find a Black man on my level” when they are surrounded by educated, professional Black men. It made me wonder too. Why a guy, with all the outward appearances of a highly desirable catch (college educated, established, an “on point” Black man) would be passed over by women for romance and marriage. Well, I have some answers.

  • WTF Are You Having That Nothing Ass Man’s Baby For?

    WTF Are You Having That Nothing Ass Man’s Baby For?

    MsHeartBeat | 08/08/2010 | Comments (5)

    Being a mother comes with huge financial responsibilities as well as mental/emotional obligations. Providing food, clothing and shelter is just the tip of the iceberg. Children brought up in broken family units or one that has only one parent in it right from the start, tend to have more social and behavioral problems as compared to those who were raised by both parents. Statistics show that individuals, who are single parents are more likely to live in poverty, especially “baby mommas”, as they tend to be younger and less educated.

  • The “On Point” Black Man, Leadership and Submission

    The “On Point” Black Man, Leadership and Submission

    An “on point” man has his shit together and doesn’t care about your investment portfolio, your education or your resume – he wants only to know if you are willing to pick up a bat and play on his team. Can a professional, educated Black female ever trust a man to lead?

  • Why Men Hate Dating Single Mothers

    Why Men Hate Dating Single Mothers

    Deborrah Cooper | 07/13/2010 | Comments (3)

    Some men are hesitant to date a woman with children, and have a long list of reasons they feel such a relationship is more trouble than it’s worth. Recognizing their fears though, single Moms can approach the dating arena armed with knowledge and ready to deal with male fears head on!

  • If You Didn’t ‘Get’ How The Black Church Keeps Black Women Single…

    If You Didn’t ‘Get’ How The Black Church Keeps Black Women Single…

    Though somewhat surprised by the intensity of the debate on my article on The Black Church, I am not at all shocked at the shake up the article has caused. Always a maverick and unafraid of either contentious criticism or debate, who but Deb Cooper would have the gumption to question the motives of an institution held so dear by millions of Black people across the nation? After all, if one is an avid church-goer, how likely are you to question your church on your own?

  • The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely

    The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely

    Deborrah Cooper | 06/14/2010

    Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females. Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. The true reason that there are so many single, never married Black women in the United States is Black churches. Black women should abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves, their needs and those of their children than those of Black men or a religion which Black men use to castigate and control an entire race of women!

  • Sailing The Seven C’s of Love and Communication

    Sailing The Seven C’s of Love and Communication

    Deborrah Cooper | 05/09/2010 | Comments (0)

    There are seven primary behavioral patterns which dictate the success or failure of a romantic partnership. To encourage honest communication, respectful treatment and unyielding commitment to your relationship, try following these seven suggestions.

  • The 70% of Black Women Are Single Lie Exposed

    The 70% of Black Women Are Single Lie Exposed

    I think it is important to note that statistics I am going to present apply only to those who self-identified in the last Census as just Black – not Black and Native American, not bi-racial, not a blend of three or more races like Tiger Woods with his Cablasian self. The “single never married” group of African Americans is close to 50% of the African American population. However, this statistical grouping also includes men. It also includes people that are gay or lesbian, that don’t want to get married EVER, those incarcerated that are not allowed to marry until their release, as well as those involved in a relationship that is not yet at the altar (engaged or living together).

  • What Black Women Need to Be Happy

    What Black Women Need to Be Happy

    Deborrah Cooper | 09/28/2009 | Comments (2)

    Black women are tired of hearing Black men say that we are bitter, unhappy, or that we alone are responsible for the high numbers of single family homes and fatherless children. We’re not. Black women are tired of the bullshit, the blaming, the failure of men to step up to take responsibility for the mistakes they’ve made. We, just like women of other races, deserve to have a decent, loving, committed and honorable man in our arms. We deserve wonderful fathers for our children. We deserve to have respectful Black men be our husbands as well our lovers. Where are these men?

smarter dating

If You Didn’t Provide it For Yourself, It’s Not SELF Esteem!

If You Didn’t Provide it For Yourself, It’s Not SELF Esteem!

07/12/2010 | Comments (5)

Women with low self-esteem make poor choices in men out of fearful desperation. Positive relationships with men begin with establishing positive relationships with ourselves. Women must stop allowing men to impact or control in any way their self image, and thereby damage or control their SELF esteem.

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Can Exes Be Just Friends?

Can Exes Be Just Friends?

07/06/2010 | Comments (10)

Can exes be friends? Sure they CAN, but what would be the point? Someone is just going to try to cock-block or get back in where you don’t want them to be, flip out with jealousy, or be all up in your business. When its over, let it be over and move on.

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If You Didn’t ‘Get’ How The Black Church Keeps Black Women Single…

If You Didn’t ‘Get’ How The Black Church Keeps Black Women Single…

07/04/2010 | Comments (37)

Though somewhat surprised by the intensity of the debate on my article on The Black Church, I am not at all shocked at the shake up the article has caused. Always a maverick and unafraid of either contentious criticism or debate, who but Deb Cooper would have the gumption to question the motives of an institution held so dear by millions of Black people across the nation? After all, if one is an avid church-goer, how likely are you to question your church on your own?

Read More

social issues and culture

Beware of the Verbally Abusive Man Hiding in Plain Sight

Beware of the Verbally Abusive Man Hiding in Plain Sight

09/01/2010 | Comments (0)

It really doesn’t matter why a man is verbally or psychologically abusive towards females, nor does it matter if the undercover abuse is purposeful or not, the damage to a woman’s self esteem and emotional stability if she listens to that bullshit is exactly the same, and it can be quite considerable.

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You Too Can Start a Black Church!

You Too Can Start a Black Church!

08/20/2010 | Comments (5)

Some say a church begins when a group of Believers get together for prayer and to praise Jesus Christ. If you believe that, I have a great deal on a bridge I’d like to tell you about…

Read More

Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

08/18/2010 | Comments (9)

Many Black men believe that all hell broke loose in America when the 1970s feminist movement came into being. These men feel that the dysfunction in the Black community – the collapse of every institution such as our churches, schools, families and communities – is due to the distortion of gender roles brought about by feminists. Looking back fondly on the apron wearing homemaker of the 1970s, Black men long for the caretaking and attention they didn’t get as children. If a woman prefers a career to staying at home with children all day, shouldn’t she have that right with no problems from her husband? Does marriage still mean property ownership of the female?

Read More

for the ladies

Single Black Men Insist on Open Marriages?

Single Black Men Insist on Open Marriages?

08/13/2010 | Comments (3)

An advice seeker asked me to explain the reasons why so many young Black men are insisting that their prospective bride agree to an open marriage – or there will be no wedding.

Read More

When He Won’t Take ‘No!’ for an Answer

When He Won’t Take ‘No!’ for an Answer

08/10/2010 | Comments (3)

No! is a complete sentence and easy enough that anyone should understand its meaning. Yet when told “No!” by a female, most men’s response is not “okay then” but instead “well, why not?” or “how come you said no?” or “you don’t mean it!” or “but you’ll like it if you try it.” Such responses put females on the defensive and are nothing but denials of a woman’s right to say “NO!” and be taken seriously.

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WTF Are You Having That Nothing Ass Man’s Baby For?

WTF Are You Having That Nothing Ass Man’s Baby For?

08/08/2010 | Comments (5)

Being a mother comes with huge financial responsibilities as well as mental/emotional obligations. Providing food, clothing and shelter is just the tip of the iceberg. Children brought up in broken family units or one that has only one parent in it right from the start, tend to have more social and behavioral problems as compared to those who were raised by both parents. Statistics show that individuals, who are single parents are more likely to live in poverty, especially “baby mommas”, as they tend to be younger and less educated.

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for the fellas

Exposing Black Male Privilege

Exposing Black Male Privilege

09/01/2010 | Comments (1)

I’ve repeatedly heard Black men express the belief that they are victims of a matriarchial society, that they are denied rights and privileges and the opportunity to “be a man” by “strong Black women.” I’ve heard grown men whine that women need to be responsible for men’s attire (sagging pants), teen pregnancy amonst 11, 12, 13 year old girls (who are actually victimis of child molesters, not willing adults making a choice for sex), and assign to women the responsibility for changing the Black community. With women being blamed for all that, what the hell is it that Black men are going to get off their asses and do?

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How Nice Guys Can Develop The Player Edge That Women Love

How Nice Guys Can Develop The Player Edge That Women Love

08/31/2010 | Comments (6)

Despite what the media says, women don’t necessarily look for men with nice, sensitive personalities. Women look for romantic intoxication. In plain language women go for men who can turn them on!

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Why “Nice” Guys Suck and Women Don’t Want You!

Why “Nice” Guys Suck and Women Don’t Want You!

08/26/2010 | Comments (23)

Being a “nice guy” does not win you any brownie points in the dating game! Never has, never will. You win at dating when you give the opposite sex what they want.

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dating advice from MsHeartBeat

His Ex Emailed to Say She is Pregnant with My Man’s Baby!

His Ex Emailed to Say She is Pregnant with My Man’s Baby!

08/30/2010 | Comments (0)

We’ve been together 7 months, but recently a woman he dated for only 2 weeks sent an email to say she is pregnant with his child. Help! Do I stay or go?

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How Will I Know if a Guy is in Love With Me?

How Will I Know if a Guy is in Love With Me?

08/22/2010 | Comments (0)

How will I know if a guy is in love with me? What kind of signs will he show?

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Fussing and Fighting is Not Love

Fussing and Fighting is Not Love

08/20/2010 | Comments (0)

When a new dating relationship has drama all the time, should the couple stay together and try to ‘work it out’ or leave it alone?

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broadcast events

9-14-2010 Dependency Issues in Relationships

9-14-2010 Dependency Issues in Relationships

08/30/2010 | Comments (0)

How do you avoid slipping into codependency with a partner wrestling with chemical or alcohol dependency or some other addiction?

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8-31-2010 Ladies, Can You Pass “The ‘Ho Test?”

8-31-2010 Ladies, Can You Pass “The ‘Ho Test?”

08/25/2010 | Comments (0)

We will discuss how women ‘ho and the differences between being an incidental ho and a professional who has made ho’ing a lifestyle choice. We’ll also discuss how men test to see if you ARE a ‘ho or not!

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Feminism, Black Men & Black Relationships – 8/22/10

Feminism, Black Men & Black Relationships – 8/22/10

08/18/2010 | Comments (0)

“You’re a feminist!” is a phrase uttered with the utmost disdain by Black men, and being called a feminist is right up there with being called a bitch. What is it that feminism means to Black men and women, and why are so many African Americans against feminism?

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other recent articles

Texting Got Him Put on Nignore

Texting Got Him Put on Nignore

MsHeartBeat | 08/18/2010 | Comments (2)

He asked her to come by his house for a date by text and has the nerve to be surprised that he got put on NIGNORE?

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Drama Dating an Ex-Convict

Drama Dating an Ex-Convict

MsHeartBeat | 08/16/2010 | Comments (0)

She feels she has finally met the smart, affectionate man of her dreams, however his very dark past is creating problems in their relationship.

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Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

MsHeartBeat | 08/15/2010 | Comments (0)

Which should a woman give more weight to… a man’s actions and behavior, or what he says?

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My Girlfriend Thinks I am a Snoop

My Girlfriend Thinks I am a Snoop

MsHeartBeat | 08/12/2010 | Comments (0)

He got dumped after snooping through his girlfriend’s cell phone. Can he get her back?

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Why Men Worry About Your Past

Why Men Worry About Your Past

MsHeartBeat | 08/10/2010 | Comments (4)

When will women learn that men can’t handle hearing about past lovers?

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Single Moms Dating Pedophiles 8/14/2010

Single Moms Dating Pedophiles 8/14/2010

Deborrah Cooper | 08/08/2010 | Comments (2)

Does love make women blind to possible dangers of assault on their children, or are these women knowingly sacrificing their children’s physical safety and mental health for a man in their bed?

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Men Are Not Qualified to Lead Women or Relationships

Men Are Not Qualified to Lead Women or Relationships

Men feel that they should lead women because that is “how it is supposed to be.” But if we remove religion from the equation, what is it that makes men feel they must be the leader? Not intelligence, drive, ambition or skills! And if it is true, as some men say, that men are destructive when left to their own devices and need women to lead them in other directions, then who is the real leader here?

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African American Bloggers Carnival

African American Bloggers Carnival

Deborrah Cooper | 07/23/2010 | Comments (0)

Quality blogs run by African American bloggers promoted free by the African American Bloggers Carnival. Submit your blog link here for consideration in our listing which means additional exposure for your writing.

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