10 Women Guys Overlook and Why You Should Date Them
Statistically there are more single Black women in the U.S. than there are single Black men. Thus, when a Brotha complains that he “can’t find a decent woman” I am always in a state of disbelief. What he really means is he cannot find his fantasy woman, or if he has found her, she wants nothing to do with him!
Black men often have standards for the women they wish to date or marry that they don’t meet themselves with regards to education, lifestyle, sexual experience, and looks. Every man, even if he looks like Flava Flav or Steve Erkel, somehow believes he deserves to have on his arm a woman that looks like Beyonce that has never been touched by another man. And until such a woman is in his crosshairs, many of these very eligible bachelors stay at home alone on weekends, living a life without fun, romance or sex.
My suggestion is that you fellas broaden your horizons. Open your mind to include women that you might normally overlook. This list includes the 10 types of women men frequently disqualify. I suggest you take a second look at the following ladies:
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Men's Issues
@Deborrah Cooper – Great & thorough article
I was (and still am) the girl with a stack of books who didn’t go out. I made pretty good grades because I’d read a lot of things in books years before they were taught in school. Black boys (and now men) seemed to actively AVOID me. For some reason, my ex-sister in law (weave, didn’t own a book, smoker and with seven kids) can walk into a room and almost have them fall at her feet before she speaks to them. I’m not changing who I am, but when I hear a black guy say he wants a “good” girl, I tune out everything he says afterwards because we see that’s not the case.
I suppose, if I were to evaluate myself honestly based on the types you have listed in this article, I would be the geeky girl–glasses (sometimes, thank God for contact lenses), computer, books, etc. I think there is an intimidation factor there when guys perceive women as “smart” so they don’t typically approach a geeky girl.
Guys operate from fear and intimidation in most instances Casey. A guy won’t approach a non-geeky woman either. Dudes to intimidated and fearful to approach a woman do not deserve to date a woman. Fear is not attractive nor masculine. Women no matter what type are attracted to men who show courage and go for what they want. Not whiny little boys who sit back in fear, longing for a woman but too scurred to approach.
Hey, a Raz? I FEAR commitment. Does that make a guy a little boy too? I normally just want sex without the seriousness or leading to anything.
It makes you someone who can pump money into the prostitute industry though. You should fly out to Nevada or pay street hookers for sex with no strings. That way you don’t have to ‘fear anything’ you get what you pay for un-emotional sex and you can get it from a male prostitute as easily as you can a female and they are discrete. up the butt or whatever, as long as you’re paying you don’t have to worry about drama or hurt feelings or it leading to anything. That’s a great way to spend your money Guapo.
Thanks, Raz! As always, you give excellent advice!
You’re welcome Guapo!
well if u only want sex go buy a toy or go have sex with someone who you & her both agree ….is only out for a quicky. By all means don’t lead a female on while she is expecting more and being lied to. That’s selfish.
Ms. D, I like and agree with most of it but two… The hoarder and ex-stripper are trainwrecks. Ive personally been been there twice. They drain the life out of you. ANd both accused me of trying to control them. The line is too thin for me, but maybe some brotha has the capacity to deal with it.
When did I say a hoarder was a choice? That term is not used in the article one time! I said her house might be somewhat messy, and I particularly emphasized the “nasty” part – suggesting a man run and run fast.
No where in that article did I refer to the woman a man might pass over and should date as a “hoarder” (which is an actual mental illness). You took my words and went from A to triple XXX dude! Stay with the words I’ve written, don’t go so far afield next time. LOLOLOL!
Another excellent article Deborrah! My experiences agree with your perspectives on the different attributes that women are able to provide. Interesting thing about the stripper is fellas would give their hard earned money to see her strip or get some touches but if some meet these women at school, in the workplace or church they shiver when she tells them her profession.
My mentor who was a college graduate/professional employed man told me to seek out the ex stripper or street woman who was reformed. He said they have experiences that other women don’t possess that allows them to appreciate things that other women might not. Any experience that teaches or allows a woman to take it to the next level shouldn’t be a point of shame or embarrassment.