My Two Year Old Son is Abusive to His Four Month Old Sister
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I have a 2 year old son and a 4 month old daughter. My son is very mean to my 4 month old daughter. He bites her, headbutts her, runs his toys on her when she is on the floor having tummy time… the list goes on and on.
My son loves his sister – he will give her kisses, but then smack her. I just do not understand why he finds the need to hurt his sister. I include him in everything if i am making a bottle I will ask him to hand Mommy the formula or hand mommy the diaper bag so he is not left out whatsoever.
What can I do to get my 2 year old to stop hurting his baby sister?
Signed,
Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken:
Spank his little butt! Tell him firmly that he is NOT to hurt or in any way be abusive to his sister ever again, and that if he does he will get a spanking and will be on a time out for a long time. Then do it! Do not be one of those weak, spineless mothers that coddles her son and sacrifices her daughter. You need to take charge of this situation and whack his little ass! All the talking in the world is not going to help you in this case, and you must do something before he grows up to become an abusive adult. You are not doing enough to protect the baby from him by continuing to expose her to his violence on your watch. I am appalled at your letter to tell you the truth.
You need to know something else. If you take that baby to the doctor and she is all bruised up, they are going to consider YOU to be an unfit mother that allows her child to be endangered in the home. There is no way they are going to believe that damage was done by a two year old – you risk being charged with child abuse. So you need to get this little brat in check ASAP before you end up with a criminal case and your kids in foster care.
Don’t think this is not an extremely serious situation. I have friend who work in medical care and social services, and the stories they’ve shared with me about adults and teens being abusive to young children are just disgusting. The parents always say “oh the older brother/sister did it!” In such cases the social workers and/or police snatch the kids out of the home while they investigate the injuries to the child. Because they feel the parents are supposed to protect their young child, not allow them to be victimized.
You are not doing the job of protecting your infant daughter who is too young to protect herself while you coddle and placate that demonic son of yours. Get it together woman before you don’t have ANY children.
MsHeartBeat
Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."
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Good advice, however, you don’t have to spank a child to
teach them how to behave.A time out is
pretty effective for a 2 year old.Having them sit in a corner without any stimulus, no attention, no toys
for 5 minutes is very hard for a 2 year old to do. 5 minutes can seem like 5
hours to a 2 year old.And doing this
consistently each time they misbehave is
an effective method to correct inappropriate behavior.Hitting a child to teach them not to ‘hit’
can be counterproductive.Research
proves time and time again, that punitive punishments like hitting causes more
harm than good and is greatly ineffective in teaching good behavior.Positive reinforcement when you see your
child exhibiting the behavior you want, is much more effective, and taking away
privileges, (for a 2 year old isolating them, and denying them your time,
attention, their toys, is very effective, if done consistently and right.
Hitting a child is a form of power play and teaches a child
to fear you, but not necessarily that a behavior is wrong to do.They just learn that someone bigger than them
can hit them and get away with it, which actually reinforces what the child is
doing, ‘A bigger child hitting a baby.
Black parents need to learn more effective ways to
discipline their children (discipline means to teach), instead of resorting to punitive
methods which instills fear, low self-esteem and causes all sorts of
psychological and emotional issues down the road.
Also look into why the child is behaving this way, there
could be some reasons.He could have
some sort of personality disorder that needs to be looked into.What is he eating?Is he getting enough mental stimulus? What
are his activities?It’s not enough to
label a child a demon, there could be some extenuating circumstances that are
the root cause for the two year old child acting out.