For the past few years I’ve utilized Facebook as a tool to augment the social research performed both offline and on SurvivingDating.Com. The data collected is compiled, analyzed and used to explain or justify dating behaviors of men, women, black singles, interracial dating couples, etc.
So it’s with some basis in fact that I make the statement “black women are stupid!” Sadly, its a conclusion I can no longer escape.
Do I mean every single black female on the planet? No, of course not. I’ve run into some very articulate, intellectual, analytical Sistahs on the Internet that I believe are true kindred spirits. Each of the women in question have enriched my life and brought joy and laughter to the world with their sharp wit, creative use of words, and biting sense of humor.
However, the black women that meet such standards are few and far between. A woman’s level of education has nothing to do with basic levels of common sense, self-esteem, self-respect, or reading comprehension skills! If the posts and comments black women make online are any evidence of their self-knowledge or self-esteem and understanding of men with “game”, we as black women are in serious trouble.
In this two-part post I’ll discuss two of the most common and damaging games run by black men on black women. I’ll share two recent examples of posts made by black men (unedited) which were subsequently “LIKED” by dozens of black women. I’ll then provide a point-by-point breakdown and analysis of each posts’ true meaning. I’ll also share with you the reasons why only stupid black women listen to these guys.
Game #1 – Set Yourself Up as an Expert on What Black Men Want
Steve Harvey the comedian turned relationships expert played this game on black women and made millions of dollars from their desperate need to “follow” a man’s directives. Essence Magazine, one of the largest black media outlets which focuses on black women, has a history of promoting any black male off the street as an expert in black male/female relationships. I’ve seen black men come out of nowhere – no education, no training and no expertise to speak of be given a platform on Essence.Com to espouse their “expert views” of what black women should do and why. You Tube and BlogTalkRadio are full of immature young black males recording upwards of 200 videos each berating black women for being sexual creatures or ignoring the black man while providing instruction and “guidance” to black women on what it is black men want. Black churches are full of cheating, lying male pastors and deacons that do not adhere to scriptural rules of conduct themselves, but have no problem telling black women what to do and how to do it to get and keep a “God fearing” man.
Females let’s be CLEAR….and REAL man isn’t cheating with you because you are so good at being the other woman…he’s cheating with you because you aren’t good enough to be THE woman. I laugh at women that brag about being the “go to” woman when the man gets bored at home, and you try to put down a submissive woman for being who GOD designed her to be. Learn what submissive really means. A sub missive woman is far from weak, because a true submissive woman knows how to carry the load for him an her both without him even knowing it. She knows how to speak to his spirit and not his lusts. She knows how to push him to his dreams instead of pulling him to destruction. She knows how to pray with him and not play with him. She knows how to be quiet even when her flesh wants to speak. She knows the value of his hard work and not just his dollar. A submissive woman is his “LIFETIME” but you are just a “GOODTIME” and that’s all u will ever be. He knows that he can throw a few dollars and material possessions your way and that’s all you will ever expect. The other woman makes it easy for a man, the submissive woman makes it easy for herself by making him EARN and not buy her. You are the O.T.H.E.R woman. An overplayed toy he eventually releases…..
Okay, let’s analyze this post in detail.
In the first line he makes the most questionable statement of the post and defines “a real man” as one that cheats. Please tell me in what alternate universe a “real man” cheats on THE Woman that he has in his life with The OTHER Woman? If he were indeed “a real man” he would not be cheating period; instead he’d be at home with The Woman treating her with the respect he claims she deserves!
Amazingly, when I pointed out that egregious error in logic and moral escape clause to many Black women, they hadn’t noticed it! Didn’t know that is what his statements meant! They fell right in line with the goal of the poster, which was to make black women feel responsible for the fact that they are (1) getting cheated on or (2) the woman he is cheating with. Generally, his goal was to have women believe he was dropping some serious knowledge about men and advice that should be listened to and “followed”.
Then he picks up the black man’s favorite tool of manipulation – the biblical principle of submission – and beats women over the head with that as well. It is the goal of every black man on the planet to have a woman “submit” to him for some reason. Even Brothas that haven’t picked up a bible in 50 years, never set foot in a church, commit fornication every time they think about it, father children out of wedlock, shoot kill and rob others, or lie cheat and steal. None of that matters though because “God says you need to be submissive to me because I’m a man!” they whine.
The third point is another of the black man’s favorite tools of controlling women, the assignment of guilt, blame and responsibility. Nowhere in this post does this male assign any blame for the negative situations created by the male’s laziness or lack of commitment. Instead, the submissive black woman carries the load like a donkey for both herself and her mate. Black women are also assigned responsibility for controlling male lust, as if these males that we should submit to and worship are incapable of controlling their own thoughts and actions. And finally, the black woman in the revered position of The Woman is also assigned responsibility for pushing him to make his own dreams come true, since he is incapable of motivating himself you see.
Are black women really expected to do all this uplifting, carrying, pushing and supporting without ever putting a man’s ass in check or telling him about himself? And if the black woman is doing all that slave labor, what exactly is it that the black man is doing for himself? And what is HE doing for her in exchange for all her giving, supporting and caretaking?
Keep in mind now, this is the same “The Woman” submissive chick that he is cheating on with the side piece. You did get that, right?
Sadly, stupid black women fell right in line with this mess and cosigned/liked this post by the dozens as I said above.
The Submissive aka Stupid Black Women
Black women generally love to “follow” black men like little sheep, without questioning the motives or logic behind what these guys are saying. Few black women understand that these men are attempting to establish themselves as experts on what ALL MEN want. In reality they are only giving their personal opinion so unless you plan to date HIM, there is no reason to listen to his drivel about what men like or want or think or anything else. The thoughts and opinions of one individual are not undeniable facts, and as such any statements he makes about what men want apply to no one but himself.
When several of the ladies questioned the concept of submission, the original poster came back with more promotional material:
Just thought of something do all you women who say you won’t ever submit to a man think it mean lower your self to do his bidding or to bow to him… Because if you do… SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOURSELVES… That is no where close to what that means…
Is that right? Well I’m gonna say this: You don’t get to tell women what female submission means to women! What is it with young black males that continually attempt to position themselves as authorities on the female experience? You do not have a uterus, don’t date men, don’t have menstrual cycles, don’t have breasts, and you certainly don’t have babies! That means you are no authority on what it means to be female. Neither are you an expert on The Female Experience in life or love.
So shut up about what something MEANS to women and how it feels to women when men say or do it. Whatever “it” is! All you fellas really know about is yourself, and most don’t even have a handle on that! Black men especially form their ideals about what women SHOULD do and SHOULD be and SHOULD say and how women SHOULD dress and how women SHOULD treat you by listening to other people. Older black men and religious leaders tell black males what they should want, and rarely guide them to understand what their heart and mind really needs in a mate. I say this with confidence because what men really want to marry is a ho, not a housewife! Acknowledging your true interests and needs would mean you’d be happy to wife up the freaky side piece because she meets your top need which is sexual satisfaction.
Though few black men have the courage to openly admit it, the proof is all around us. If these guys truly wanted the virtuous chaste woman, black churches wouldn’t be full of 35 year old virgins and women that haven’t had sex in a decade or more. All of those Proverbs 31 women would be snatched up and married! Instead they languish in churches year after year, alone and lonely, while the black women that embrace their sexuality and feminine sexual nature are the ones black men chase and want to wife up!
Don’t fall for the game because its rigged from the jump. Black men are not going to tell you anything about how to become a better woman for yourself! Their sole goal is to corner the market on pu$$y. That means they want to have you sit down and stay quiet with your legs closed waiting for them to maybe, possibly, think about considering being with you on a permanent basis.
I understand that there are a lot of lonely African American women in the U.S. that want to be married. I also understand that loneliness and a belief in the scarcity of a product is often the motivating factor and the reason black women settle for dating partners they’d ignore if they weren’t so desperate for a man.
But you ladies need to stop this. You look stupid. You like stupid posts that are demeaning and degrading to women. You entertain the stupid ideas of stupid black men. When you fall for this type of weak Ghetto Jedi Mind Trick game, you are setting yourself up to be used by slicksters. You are also taking the position that you are against womanhood and the needs of women/girls while promoting the causes and needs of men OVER women! How stupid is that?
Please give some thought this while part two of this article is being written.
Category: Women's Issues