Video Webchat: Are Black Males Raised by Single Moms Poor Choices for Mates?
It is my belief that young black males growing up in households with absent fathers (physically or emotionally) tend to be dependent and group oriented.
I also think males without Dads or whose fathers were drug addicts, abusive fools or useless drunks are poor choices for mates, make poor fathers, and find it impossible to interact with women in healthy ways.
This is not an indictment of the single Moms that are holding it down and doing the best they can to raise solid, responsible young men. But how can a single mother be expected to fill the shoes of a man in her son’s life? Especially when the streets and the men in them or Mom’s series of boyfriends hold so much allure and have so much influence over the thinking and behavior of fatherless boys?
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On the flip side we have mothers that have no intention of making their sons solid and responsible. Instead, they make their sons “head of the household” and treat him as if he were their husband. The boy has power without any of the associated responsibilities of manhood, so he comes to expect to have things without working for them.
These are the single mothers that coddle, spoil and indulge their sons, refusing to hold them accountable for their actions or make them responsible for anything they do. These are the single mothers who know their sons are doing illegal, criminal activities but still proclaim them to be “good boys.”
As a single woman, you have no real way to know if a guy you’ve met had a sensible mother or a fool. He won’t tell it – he may not even know the standards to judge that himself!
Ultimately, the question must be asked: should men that were abandoned by their fathers and raised in single-parent homes with just their Mom be passed over as potential boyfriends, husbands and fathers?
Please join me on Friday 12/21/12 at 6:30 pm PST/9:30 pm EST to discuss the future of black male/female relationships and black families. We’re staring at the fourth generation of fatherless black boys.
Where do we as a community go from here?
This discussion will be webcam enabled, so you can see the host for the first time ever.
This show inspired by the blog post entitled Limit Personal Drama by Avoiding Fatherless Men
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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