It’s time to address black men’s obsession with the low class, hoodrat baby momma types of black women, a genotype which we will refer to in this post as “ShaQuanisha”. These lovely ladies, though they may certainly be nice people, have quite a few issues. Generally, they are therefore not considered prime candidates for love and marriage by young black men on their grind. Yet the “ShaQuanisha’s” of the world are presented as the popular and often singular vision of black womanhood by many black men; this article explores the top reasons.
The attitude we’re speaking of is prevalent. From Facebook, to You Tube, blogs to vlogs — black men focus incessantly on ShaQuanisha. ShaQuanisha is the bootylicious, weave wearing, airbrushed fingernail having, neck working, no job having, multiple baby daddy breeding, weed smoking, welfare check food stamp and child support receiving black female. Her favorite hobbies are watching reality television shows, clubbing, drinking and fighting.
ShaQuanisha is usually in her early to late 20’s, and resides in low income housing, or receives Section 8. She is usually the product of a single parent home and has learned that women can get along quite well without men, and that most men ain’t about nothing anyway. In spite of all these issues, her physical attractiveness keeps her front and center on men’s minds, and she is therefore rarely without male suitors.
We’ve seen her caricatured many times on television in hit comedies such as In Living Color’s character “Wanda”, Martin’s “Shanaynay’ and Norbit’s Rasputia. She also appears on The Jerry Springer Show or The Maury Povich Show, fighting over a man or trying to figure out who her baby daddy is.
This obsession black men have with the proverbial ShaQuanisha is confounding, since black men who describe themselves as “good black men” supposedly despise everything about ShaQuanisha. Yet, for some reason, ShaQuanisha is their sole point of reference when they talk about the black women available for dating.
Now let’s talk about these good black men for a minute.
The So-Called Good Black Man
These ‘good black men’ (and the term is used loosely), think they are special because they have never been in jail, they have a job or some little business, they don’t walk around with their underwear or ass showing, they believe in God, and may actually have a college degree or trade school certificate. You know, basic stuff that young white and Asian boys are expected to do as a matter of course.
So with these basic accomplishments under their belt, the so-called good black men consider themselves superior mates for black women. I suppose on paper they might be since the black men they compare themselves to are scraping the bottom of the barrel. However, these guys totally ignore the negative impact their sexist or hateful attitudes towards the female gender has on women, which is a key reason why no woman of quality and high self esteem wants them.
These so-called good black men are invariably the ones most obsessed with ShaQuanisha and her phat ass. Time and time again, these so-called good black men tout the same mantra when it comes to ShaQuanisha. The so-called good black men are the ones who constantly talk about how the ShaQuanisha’s in the black community are worthless whores who are not worth the time of day with their STDs and multiple babies. They rail loudly about how the ShaQuanishas collect child support or welfare checks, and are lazy good for nothings who just live off taxpayers. They love to pontificate about how ShaQuanishas are not quality women because they wear weaves and because they are openly sexual they’ve been “run through”, and because they choose men who are not them, it means black women “only want thugs.”
This is really funny because when you consider the facts, it’s not the thugs who are obsessed with ShaQuanisha, it’s these so called ‘good black men’ who live, sleep and dream about her. That which you focus on becomes the center of your world. And it is clear that these “good black men” strongly and passionately desire ShaQuanisha — that’s why they talk about her so much.
Gangsta street thugs don’t have to talk about ShaQuanisha, they are already with her; she is their baby momma, their girlfriend, or their wife. But the so-called good black men all over the internet crying about black women really want a ShaQuanisha for themselves. The problem is, ShaQuanisha doesn’t want them because they are corny and whine all the time. Thugs don’t whine and certainly aren’t corny, so ShaQuanisha gives them play.
You never hear so-called good black men talk about the many women who are ‘good black women’ and more on their level. They never speak about the women who care to remain child free, who are educated, accomplished, cultured, classy, intelligent, financially independent, and well traveled. You never hear the so-called good black men talk about the single black woman who can hold her own in any setting, owns her own home or condo, has a nice car, and who has stock options and a 401K.
One would think these so called good black men (especially the ones who claim to want a good black woman to love), would talk about women of this caliber. These women do exist, and are available by the thousands. They are found in droves enrolled in universities, at churches, volunteering at charities, attending political events, and enjoying enriching cultural events such as theater, musical performances, and art exhibits. These quality black women can also be found pecking away on their laptops in coffee shops, at libraries researching something for their own enrichment, reading on park benches at lunchtime, working out at the gym, and chilling with coworkers at after work happy hours.
These quality single black women are around and available, but you rarely hear so-called good black men talk about them. Are they even checking for her? These young women would love to date a ‘good black man’ provided he is not a knucklehead or a misogynistic fool. Yet, these black men who obsess about ShaQuanisha act as though accomplished black women don’t exist — the only woman in their frame of reference are the ShaQuanisha’s of the world.
Could it be that in order for a black man to feel superior, he needs to compare his dating market value to the lowest common denominator — which would be a ShaQuanisha, the female equivalent of the street thug? It does make one wonder.
Since black men generally have such low expectations of themselves and consider themselves good by being merely responsible adults (something so basic no one should be given golden peanuts for achieving), then perhaps they realize that deep down, they are not worthy of the accomplished cultured black woman. A man who has no ambition to do and be more than “basic” is not on this woman’s level.
Such a woman is beyond their reach, she makes the average mediocre black man feel insecure, because he knows she doesn’t need him to validate her in any way. Therefore, in order to boost his ego in the dating field, he has to compare himself to a ShaQuanisha type. This makes him feel accomplished, high and mighty, and totally superior. He now has someone he can look down his nose at, someone who is lower on the social rung than he is.
So Called Good Black Men Hate Olivia Pope
This is the main reason why black men hate the popular television show Scandal so much. In this show Kerry Washington’s character (Olivia Pope) represents everything that makes the average black man feel inferior. She’s an Ivy League college educated attorney who is cultured, beautiful, accomplished and powerful. Most black men know they are nowhere near her level. A woman such as Olivia Pope would not date them because they would not have anything in common and nothing to offer her.
Black men also resent the fact that in this show, the white and very married President of the United States is madly in love with Olivia. This sends the message that a woman of power such as Olivia wields, attracts powerful, accomplished men.
As the much overused quote says, “water seeks its own level. “ In essence, they are seeking their own level which is why ShaQuanisha is so popular with black men. Deep down, they want her because they think they have a chance. They know they could never measure up in the dating world with an ‘Olivia Pope’ type of black woman; she is totally out of their league and they know it.
And for those so called good black men who believe they are cream of the crop and can pick the woman of their choice, they are obsessed with ShaQuanisha as well otherwise they wouldn’t talk about her so much. Think about it … if ShaQuanisha is so repulsive, why even discuss her as a potential mate? Why focus on her as the singular type of black woman available in the dating pool? Such a woman wouldn’t even be a thought if you truly believed she was not to your liking.
For example, you know you only like nice cuts of beef – primo stuff. So why would you waste your time considering what cubed steak looks or tastes like? Why discuss how much you don’t like cubed steak when you know all along this is not the cut of meat you would even consider having on your plate or putting in your mouth?
To me it’s the same thing as black men’s obsession with ShaQuanisha. Why talk about her all the time, when you already know she’s not the woman you want to have?
Unless you really want her?
Sucks for you though, doesn’t it? ShaQuanisha is not sitting around waiting for the so called ‘good black man’ to get with her. She already has her hands full with Jabari, De’Vonte or Antuan or even Joe. ShaQuanisha is rarely if ever single. Usually she’s already dating someone, possibly her baby daddy, or getting it in with her street thug man. Sometimes she gets with a more middle class guy who considers himself blessed to have her waiting at home for him with a pot of greens on the stove and freaky moves to curl his toes in her mind. All his corny friends wonder what he did to get her, while his female relatives shake their heads in dismay.
So the next time you hear a black man talking about a weave wearing, multiple baby daddy having, welfare and child support check receiving black woman and how much he is tired of black woman being this way… understand that he really desires this woman and just hasn’t realized it yet. His heart yearns for a big curvy ass, a woman that will cuss him out or maybe stab him, who plays cards and dominoes, and wears hoochie momma clothes.
The thought of having such a woman in his life makes his blood boil with lustful excitement. ShaQuanisha is his 16 year old boy fantasy dream woman. He wants a ShaQuanisha for himself and is burning with rage that she doesn’t want his corny ass.
It’s almost sad. No matter which way you flip it, the average so-called good black men lose out. They fall in between the cracks of the two types of women we discussed. They don’t have what it takes to catch the accomplished cultured beautiful classy black woman, nor do they have the heat it takes to get the attention of the hot ass ghetto queen ShaQuanishas they dream about.
This is the main reason they are angry…none of the women they want, want them back.
Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder