40 Days of Rain on DBR Black Men – Black Males Obsessed With Ghetto Baby Mamas
It’s time to address black men’s obsession with the low class, hoodrat baby momma types of black women, a genotype which we will refer to in this post as “ShaQuanisha”. These lovely ladies, though they may certainly be nice people, have quite a few issues. Generally, they are therefore not considered prime candidates for love and marriage by young black men on their grind. Yet the “ShaQuanisha’s” of the world are presented as the popular and often singular vision of black womanhood by many black men; this article explores the top reasons. 
The attitude we’re speaking of is prevalent. From Facebook, to You Tube, blogs to vlogs — black men focus incessantly on ShaQuanisha. ShaQuanisha is the bootylicious, weave wearing, airbrushed fingernail having, neck working, no job having, multiple baby daddy breeding, weed smoking, welfare check food stamp and child support receiving black female. Her favorite hobbies are watching reality television shows, clubbing, drinking and fighting.
ShaQuanisha is usually in her early to late 20’s, and resides in low income housing, or receives Section 8. She is usually the product of a single parent home and has learned that women can get along quite well without men, and that most men ain’t about nothing anyway. In spite of all these issues, her physical attractiveness keeps her front and center on men’s minds, and she is therefore rarely without male suitors.
We’ve seen her caricatured many times on television in hit comedies such as In Living Color’s character “Wanda”, Martin’s “Shanaynay’ and Norbit’s Rasputia. She also appears on The Jerry Springer Show or The Maury Povich Show, fighting over a man or trying to figure out who her baby daddy is.
This obsession black men have with the proverbial ShaQuanisha is confounding, since black men who describe themselves as “good black men” supposedly despise everything about ShaQuanisha. Yet, for some reason, ShaQuanisha is their sole point of reference when they talk about the black women available for dating.
Now let’s talk about these good black men for a minute.
The So-Called Good Black Man
These ‘good black men’ (and the term is used loosely), think they are special because they have never been in jail, they have a job or some little business, they don’t walk around with their underwear or ass showing, they believe in God, and may actually have a college degree or trade school certificate. You know, basic stuff that young white and Asian boys are expected to do as a matter of course.
So with these basic accomplishments under their belt, the so-called good black men consider themselves superior mates for black women. I suppose on paper they might be since the black men they compare themselves to are scraping the bottom of the barrel. However, these guys totally ignore the negative impact their sexist or hateful attitudes towards the female gender has on women, which is a key reason why no woman of quality and high self esteem wants them.
These so-called good black men are invariably the ones most obsessed with ShaQuanisha and her phat ass. Time and time again, these so-called good black men tout the same mantra when it comes to ShaQuanisha. The so-called good black men are the ones who constantly talk about how the ShaQuanisha’s in the black community are worthless whores who are not worth the time of day with their STDs and multiple babies. They rail loudly about how the ShaQuanishas collect child support or welfare checks, and are lazy good for nothings who just live off taxpayers. They love to pontificate about how ShaQuanishas are not quality women because they wear weaves and because they are openly sexual they’ve been “run through”, and because they choose men who are not them, it means black women “only want thugs.”
This is really funny because when you consider the facts, it’s not the thugs who are obsessed with ShaQuanisha, it’s these so called ‘good black men’ who live, sleep and dream about her. That which you focus on becomes the center of your world. And it is clear that these “good black men” strongly and passionately desire ShaQuanisha — that’s why they talk about her so much.
Gangsta street thugs don’t have to talk about ShaQuanisha, they are already with her; she is their baby momma, their girlfriend, or their wife. But the so-called good black men all over the internet crying about black women really want a ShaQuanisha for themselves. The problem is, ShaQuanisha doesn’t want them because they are corny and whine all the time. Thugs don’t whine and certainly aren’t corny, so ShaQuanisha gives them play.
You never hear so-called good black men talk about the many women who are ‘good black women’ and more on their level. They never speak about the women who care to remain child free, who are educated, accomplished, cultured, classy, intelligent, financially independent, and well traveled. You never hear the so-called good black men talk about the single black woman who can hold her own in any setting, owns her own home or condo, has a nice car, and who has stock options and a 401K.
One would think these so called good black men (especially the ones who claim to want a good black woman to love), would talk about women of this caliber. These women do exist, and are available by the thousands. They are found in droves enrolled in universities, at churches, volunteering at charities, attending political events, and enjoying enriching cultural events such as theater, musical performances, and art exhibits. These quality black women can also be found pecking away on their laptops in coffee shops, at libraries researching something for their own enrichment, reading on park benches at lunchtime, working out at the gym, and chilling with coworkers at after work happy hours.
These quality single black women are around and available, but you rarely hear so-called good black men talk about them. Are they even checking for her? These young women would love to date a ‘good black man’ provided he is not a knucklehead or a misogynistic fool. Yet, these black men who obsess about ShaQuanisha act as though accomplished black women don’t exist — the only woman in their frame of reference are the ShaQuanisha’s of the world.
Could it be that in order for a black man to feel superior, he needs to compare his dating market value to the lowest common denominator — which would be a ShaQuanisha, the female equivalent of the street thug? It does make one wonder.
Since black men generally have such low expectations of themselves and consider themselves good by being merely responsible adults (something so basic no one should be given golden peanuts for achieving), then perhaps they realize that deep down, they are not worthy of the accomplished cultured black woman. A man who has no ambition to do and be more than “basic” is not on this woman’s level.
Such a woman is beyond their reach, she makes the average mediocre black man feel insecure, because he knows she doesn’t need him to validate her in any way. Therefore, in order to boost his ego in the dating field, he has to compare himself to a ShaQuanisha type. This makes him feel accomplished, high and mighty, and totally superior. He now has someone he can look down his nose at, someone who is lower on the social rung than he is.
So Called Good Black Men Hate Olivia Pope
This is the main reason why black men hate the popular television show Scandal so much. In this show Kerry Washington’s character (Olivia Pope) represents everything that makes the average black man feel inferior. She’s an Ivy League college educated attorney who is cultured, beautiful, accomplished and powerful. Most black men know they are nowhere near her level. A woman such as Olivia Pope would not date them because they would not have anything in common and nothing to offer her.
Black men also resent the fact that in this show, the white and very married President of the United States is madly in love with Olivia. This sends the message that a woman of power such as Olivia wields, attracts powerful, accomplished men.
As the much overused quote says, “water seeks its own level. “ In essence, they are seeking their own level which is why ShaQuanisha is so popular with black men. Deep down, they want her because they think they have a chance. They know they could never measure up in the dating world with an ‘Olivia Pope’ type of black woman; she is totally out of their league and they know it.
And for those so called good black men who believe they are cream of the crop and can pick the woman of their choice, they are obsessed with ShaQuanisha as well otherwise they wouldn’t talk about her so much. Think about it … if ShaQuanisha is so repulsive, why even discuss her as a potential mate? Why focus on her as the singular type of black woman available in the dating pool? Such a woman wouldn’t even be a thought if you truly believed she was not to your liking.
For example, you know you only like nice cuts of beef – primo stuff. So why would you waste your time considering what cubed steak looks or tastes like? Why discuss how much you don’t like cubed steak when you know all along this is not the cut of meat you would even consider having on your plate or putting in your mouth?
To me it’s the same thing as black men’s obsession with ShaQuanisha. Why talk about her all the time, when you already know she’s not the woman you want to have?
Unless you really want her?
Sucks for you though, doesn’t it? ShaQuanisha is not sitting around waiting for the so called ‘good black man’ to get with her. She already has her hands full with Jabari, De’Vonte or Antuan or even Joe. ShaQuanisha is rarely if ever single. Usually she’s already dating someone, possibly her baby daddy, or getting it in with her street thug man. Sometimes she gets with a more middle class guy who considers himself blessed to have her waiting at home for him with a pot of greens on the stove and freaky moves to curl his toes in her mind. All his corny friends wonder what he did to get her, while his female relatives shake their heads in dismay.
So the next time you hear a black man talking about a weave wearing, multiple baby daddy having, welfare and child support check receiving black woman and how much he is tired of black woman being this way… understand that he really desires this woman and just hasn’t realized it yet. His heart yearns for a big curvy ass, a woman that will cuss him out or maybe stab him, who plays cards and dominoes, and wears hoochie momma clothes.
The thought of having such a woman in his life makes his blood boil with lustful excitement. ShaQuanisha is his 16 year old boy fantasy dream woman. He wants a ShaQuanisha for himself and is burning with rage that she doesn’t want his corny ass.
It’s almost sad. No matter which way you flip it, the average so-called good black men lose out. They fall in between the cracks of the two types of women we discussed. They don’t have what it takes to catch the accomplished cultured beautiful classy black woman, nor do they have the heat it takes to get the attention of the hot ass ghetto queen ShaQuanishas they dream about.
This is the main reason they are angry…none of the women they want, want them back.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder
Welp, good read… for entertainment purposes of course lol! It’s not that us good black men are obsessed with ShaQuanisha or even want or prefer her so much more than the fact that she makes us feel needed in the black community. Thsee so-called self proclaimed Superwomen like Zaza Ali have somehow whined and complained about the current state of the black man to the point of convincing themselves that somehow we are not needed. What is the difference between a Cookie Lyon and a Olivia Pope? …not much, except the latter being much more seasoned and empowered in her aculturation and appears to look better to the white man (???) At least Cookie Lyon ghetto ass willemploy and uplift a few brothas along the way, maybe even the point of riding with one all the way through whereas a brotha may come up Columbus short fuckin’ with Ms. Gladiator (no pun intended).
The point is… We must realize that neither of US are shit without each other. Period! White Supremacy has ruled as man & woman together. The 50 wealthiest families in America are ALL WHITE! ….and the represent the 1% that currently control over a trillion dollars of our economy. Black professional athletes, entertainers, and business owners collectively are not worth mentioning. Economically in over the last 400 we have never controlled more than less than 1% of the wealth collectively. If that doesn’t raise any type of pause or concern for you then I’m not sure what will.
This experiment of a successful diaspora of Afrikan (American) hybrids in this nation is completely an utter and absolute failure. While we bicker about stereotypes and misguided senses of identities (???) Muthafucka We Are Losing! There is no such thing as looking good while losing. I’d much rather look bad to win at whatever cost.
I agree with this article. I have no sympathy for any man who chooses to waste his seed and mix his blood with one of these rats. However, the writer neglected to mention black men like myself who view these women as gorillas with weaves and would rather be caught dead than be in the same room with one. There are way too many women (black, white, Asian, Latina etc) who grew up with proper father figures so they know how to recognize a proper one for their own children.
blackcaesarDeborrah*eye roll* and didn’t Tommy Sotomayor do countless videos bashing BW for posting booty twerking videos on youtube? Didn’t he go in on these women, ranting in detail about how low rent and classless these women are and turn around and date one of these women? Caramel Kitten; who’s posted countless videos twerking in wal mart or super savers or spec savers or dollar tree or wherever. Yes, he did. Does that mean his mom is a hood rat? He’s one to talk.
Blackceasar Fool, just because you have “good hair” “light eyes” and light skin, doesn’t mean you are attractive. Just from reading what you wrote, I can clearly see how your simple mind works. And I BET those dark skin black girls with weaves are waaaaay better looking than you.
Hey just because someone wears fake hair, doesn’t mean they are ugly. And yes, I look black, am part black, I am light skin with dark eyes and NATURALLY thick, long, curly hair that has been called “good hair” so think twice before you make another ignorant comment about someone elses weave habits. . My mother was black and was right about black men in general, you are almost all horrible. How rude is it to insult someones hairstyle choices in public?
Wow you’re a man, saying that black women get black men in trouble? How gay does that ish sound? Really? How is that black ladies get black men in trouble? Do you take any responsibility for the things you do in your life? Damn you are either Autistic or some teenager trolling? I am betting you are a troll,just running your mouth
Let’s clear something up. Even though those ghetto baby mammas are in the ghetto, they are still 9 out of 10 times working more than you lazy black men do. They are usually working a job styling hair,doing weaves or at Mcdonalds,cleaning floors at hospitals for extra cash, I know because I saw with my own eyes. Those women may not be scholars or rich but hey those are jobs and you never see black men working that live in the ghetto. No, yall are much too cool, yall sit around calling yourselves drug dealers, future wanna be rappers, or NBA stars. Black women are way ahead of black men. I don’t know where you get your information or statistics from? But the high school drop out rate among black men are at an all time high, somewhere in the 60% so very few of you know or even care about college. Then you have one in every 15!!!!!!!!!! Black fool men in prison? Talk about living off the government! I rather my tax dollars go to welfare and foodstamps than you morons sitting in jail, eating 3 squares a day, in a prison apt with free lights and cable!
You see Mexican men busting their butts, they ride 20 in a car but they have food in their house and everyone helps each other. Black men are generally lazy. Face it, you are mostly users and losers, cheats and liars who blame white people for your twisted, sick lifestyles.
blackcaesar Deborrah Just putting this out there as a reason why black men are having children with hoodrats”
Because they choose not to have responsible sex and wear a condom. That’s why. If they already know the woman they are about to have sex with has 2 or 3 kids, this is a good indicator that she is a ‘breeder’. So they deliberately choose to have sex with her because they really want a child and she has a proven track record.
Plenty of non black men have just as much sex as black men do and they don’t end up with kids. Could it be that they have responsible sex? Look at George Clooney who has cut a swath through Hollywood. You seem to think whenever a man have sex with a woman, 9 months later a baby has got to come. Well if the man stop relying on the woman for birth control and took control over his own sperm, then a baby won’t be coming. You act like men have absolutely no responsibility to wear a condom or get a vasectomy. It’s all on the woman. You are a fool.
Raz zy blackcaesar Razzy
You wrote something about sex outside of marriage being acceptable because people have needs. Your just trying to justify being a slut. Furthermore, I don’t want to correspond further with someone who wears her ignorance like a badge of honor. Hmm, I wonder who I should listen to God or Razzy on the subject of how one should conduct their personal lives. It’s one thing to be like, “O.k. I slip up occasionally and fornicate” but it’s another thing entirely to advocate the idea that fornication is perfectly acceptable because you have needs. A person like you doesn’t believe in anything but your own satisfaction. You live by no moral code and stand for nothing but your own Narcissistic Personality Disorder having self. If sex was a basic need, then I would be dead, because I abstain. Your a sad excuse for a woman, who is like an animal. Then you had the nerve to try to shame me by writing that I was probably a 40 year old virgin. As if abstaining from sex was wrong. No Razzy, your wrong. Your attitude about sex is wrong, and that’s exactly why most of your kind is raising children alone. Because you have no sexual discipline and then try to make people who do seem like losers. Your the loser and a willfuly ignorant one at that. The one thing that I cannot tolerate are people who glorify their ignorance and wear it like a badge of honor! I do not suffer fools well, and unless your next reply to me starts with you admitting you are wrong on this issue, then I wish to no longer receive e-mails from you.
Fuckthestruggle Razzy Maybe your theme is to want a white woman to lift you up and make you feel worthy. I never stated that in this thread. Stop putting words in my mouth
And dude, stop hating.. on Scandal. Obviously you don’t watch it or you would not refer to Olivia Pope’s character as a ‘jump off because that’s not how the President treats her, and you would know that the reason he is still married to another woman is because Olivia rejected him… So talk what you know and stop being jealous that corny dudes like you could never pull an Olivia pope type of woman.
You gotta love these sad dudes like you and BlackCeasar. Y’all have no swag, no sex appeal, nothing going for you and all you do is whine, and whine, and whine. You are horny and jealous because the woman you want don’t want you back.
And you have poor reading comprehension skills. Nobody said the average black man wants to marry ShaQuanisha, but the article said that these so called good black men lust after her and want to get their dycks wet by ShaQuanisha just like the street thugs do. That’s why ‘y’all sit around beating off to the black skin mags with the weave wearing bootylicious ShqQuanisha types all in those mags.
But see no ShaQuanisha wants to give you any play so you feel rejected.. But that doesn’t stop you from wanting what you can’t have.
blackcaesar Razzy
Dude the fact that you claim to know what kind of baby ShaQuanisha wants just proves that you are obsessed with her. The fact that you focus on what you think is 705 of women are ShaQuanisha shows you are obsessed with her. The fact that WHAT YOU SEE OUT HERE’ are only ShaQuanishas shows where your focus lies and that you are obsessed. You are the one lying to yourself.
I could care less and don’t know what a street thug wants or what type of baby he wants to have. I don’t associate with street thugs or corny azz males like you outside of cyberspace. A street thug is not part of my world nor part of any of my female close friends. Nor do we discuss their habits or them being potential mates. We could care less about how they dress, because since they are not within our association they don’t directly affect us. We instead focus on the men who do affect us and they are not thugs, or so called ‘corny azz ‘good black males like you.’
So yes.. you are sprung by the ShaQuanishas. You are surrounded by her and you are enraged that she doesn’t want you. This article fits you to a T.. And like a hit dog, you are howling. It struck a nerve lol.
blackcaesar Razzy
Deborrah Just putting this out there as a reason why black men are having children with hoodrats. I saw a Tommy Sotomayor video about “why black men choose wretched women” and what he said basically was that their mommas were hood rats. My mom was not a hood rat, although she came from a poor background socioeconomically speaking, and I’m not or ever have been attracted to hoodrats. So, just intuitively, I have to agree with Tommy on this one. Also, a lot of black men don’t leave the hood, so this is the only kind of woman they encounter. I also think that a lot of black men are straight-up sex addicts and in their endless pursuit of sex they end up impregnating some poor candidates for mothers of their children. I think that a lot of black men and boys would be better served by abstaining from sex than being sexually active. I don’t agree with that business about married men not getting a divorce. Maybe in the past, but men don’t suffer through loveless marriages like in the past. Heck, most black folk don’t even get married any more, so it’s a moot point any way.
Yall. Otherwise we wouldn’t have all these black babies born to women you claim you can’t stand. You all luh dem hoes. So when you finally do get married, your prissy little wife has to deal with your ratchet ghetto baby momma and all the drama she brings. That’s why a lot of you end up divorced – you should have kept it in your pants.
And yeah, many men are in love with one woman but married to another. Happens every day in the real world and on television. Some folks get a divorce, but most don’t. They just suffer in silence and sleep in separate bedrooms.
Don’t think there aren’t white women that are just like ShaQuisha. Their names are different, but the behavior is exactly the same. Anna Nicole Smith ring a bell? Miley Cyrus? Madonna? Kenda? Same shit, different paint job. And ratchet ass white girls get married every day of the week because white boys luh dem hoes too.
Razzy LOL, your too funny Razzy. I’m 40 y.o., if I was EVER obsessed with this type of woman I would be a father to one of their children by now. Not only that but I’m light-skinned, with “good hair” and light eyes, you know, the kind that dark -skinned weave wearing black women would like to make “a pretty baby” with. It’s not like there has ever been a lack of interest by black women in men that look like myself. Where we disagree I think is that I think that 70% of black women, particularly in the 18-35 age group ARE Shaquanishas, so the the emphasis would be on them because THAT’S WHAT I SEE OUT HERE! The majority of black women have either weaves or their hair permed. Tell me I’m lying. A good percentage of black women are single mothers because they chose to have unprotected sex with a knucklehead. Tell me I’m lying. I may be a corny azz knucklehead. But I’m a corny azz knucklehead with no baby momma drama and a job and future, with peace of mind because I’ve not involved myself with the Shaquanishas of the world. The Shaquanishas of the world get black men into trouble, so I steer clear of them. Besides, here in Seattle there aren’t as many Shaquanishas as back East to begin with.
Razzy I thought the common theme was that all successful black men wanted white women? But none of the women that black men want want them back? Umm okay then.
The married white president is “madly” in love with the black jumpoff? Then why is he still married to another woman? umm okay then.
You gotta love the trolling and circular arguments of these so-called “internet relationship experts.” You’ve also gotta love the ridiculous myth that the average black man wants a hoodrat to be his wife, yet black women are constantly bitching about how rich hood rappers and athletes are wifing up strippers instead of wifing them up.
Who exactly is chasing the lowest denominator of the opposite sex? Pot, kettle, black.
Hmmm, this article reminds me of a corny azz knucklehead whose been commenting about the ‘Shaquanishas of the world…. must be because he’s obsessed…… BLACK CAESAR!!!!