Bride’s Beautiful Wedding Day Risks Ruin by In-Laws From Hell

| 07/07/2012 | Comments (4)

How Much Support Should Groom’s Family Give to Bride and Wedding?

A 29 year old bride to be wrote in about an interesting problem with her future in-laws that is creating quite a problem with her wedding day plans:

On November 3rd, 2012 I am getting married. When we first announced to my groom’s parents, they were super excited and told us about all these things they would cover including an open bar, cake, guestbook, limo, rehearsal dinner. My father died this last year so I don’t have financial help at all from my side. So I was super pumped and grateful to have their support.

Slowly the closer we are getting to our wedding day they have pulled out of paying for all of it. Minus the alcohol which they now switched to cash bar.  I would not be upset if they had told us initially we weren’t getting that support. It’s the principal that I’m angry with of them telling me one thing and not doing it.

My fiance does not understand. He says they have no obligation to pay for anything and that I should be grateful they even offered in the first place.  Now we will be scrambling to find the extra money for these things as they were never initially budgeted for. I just wish I was told from the beginning. The real thing that irks me and that makes me feel that this pull out of finances is more personal is that these in-laws from hell have tons of money! I could totally understand if they were financially hard up and had made false promises. But they have the money.

It has left a really bad taste in my mouth about his family. They have been in-laws from hell – so negative and unsupportive about our wedding day from the beginning. They even had the audacity to tell my one of my bridesmaids that they had to dig up the backyard and build a ramp for a relative in a wheelchair! And when she and I said that was unfair to ask that of my bridesmaids they called us both disrespectful.

I’m just wish my man was more understanding. He is calling me a princess and saying that I only care about money.  He doesn’t get it’s not the money but the principle of saying one thing and doing the opposite for such an important event as our wedding day. I find it so disrespectful to the both of us. It makes me so sad. Am I wrong? Could someone enlighten me if there is something I am missing or I have no reason to be mad. I’m so confused and feel very hurt.


In-Laws From Hell Causing Wedding Day Drama – Questions for Discussion

  • Why would the in-laws promise to pay for all of these wedding day expenses, then pull out just a few months before the wedding day, leaving the bride in the lurch?
  • Is the groom letting his folks off the hook too easily?
  • What would possess the parents to think the bridesmaids should be asked to dig ditches and do carpentry work and not their son and the groomsmen if anyone?
  • Should this bride reconsider marrying into this family?
  • Is the potential there for these future in-laws to negatively impact the marriage, creating a rift that may end in divorce?
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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder

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Comments (4)

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  1. Hodan says:

    funny how she is blaming the in-laws when her supposed future husband does not stand by her or man up to create peace b/w his fiance and parents. There is also deeper issue going here than not paying for the wedding, the bride seems to have left so many problems out of her complaint. If your fiance is calling you princesses and blaming you, then you need to seriously assess why are you marrying this man if he has no respect and love for you?

  2. She is preparing to marry a jack*ss who comes from a family with no sense of honor. If her future husband is not willing to side with her now, when she is in the right, he never will. She should run like hell!

  3. Ms Patten says:

    I would seriously reconsider marrying into his family.  I would rather you not contribute at all than to tell me that you would contribute and back pedaling on what you promised.   She needs to sit down with her groom and ask him what the issue is, because the money talk is merely a symptom of the underlying issues at hand.

  4. browniegirl360 says:

    don’t see their marriage lasting…since he views her as a golddigger is clear that there is a serious problem here. I think her future in laws did that on intentionally to  foul things up…and they did.

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