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The Real Problem of Eddie Long and the Black Church

. 09/30/2010 . 6 Comments

This latest addition to a long line of scandals concerning black churches again places the oldest and most enduring African American institution in the cross-hairs of ridicule and derision. Bishop Eddie Long is widely known for his uncompromising opposition to gay sex but is being accused of coercing sex from young boys under his “spiritual” guidance. We thus have all the makings of a Goliath who will certainly fall harder because of his sizeable influence in not only the Atlanta area community, but also because of his vast presence in national and international politics and affairs.

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Don’t Be Dumb by Falling for the Baby Momma Okey Doke

. 09/22/2010 . 35 Comments

If he says “I love you” many females think they have a dream come true. In reality if he really wanted to be with you as a family man he would be doing things very differently. A man that loves and respects you does not set you up for the Dumb Baby Momma Okey Doke.

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Black Men Blame Black Women For Unwed Pregnancies

. 09/21/2010 . 14 Comments

Black men consistently blame women for the babies born out of wedlock, charging that black women should “close their legs” and whining that men have no power to decide anything about a pregnancy. Do they forget that women can’t get pregnant by themselves? Why do Black men refuse to take ownership of their choices, bodies and semen, attempting instead to place that responsibility on women?

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Beware of the Verbally Abusive Man Hiding in Plain Sight

. 09/01/2010 . 10 Comments

It really doesn’t matter why a man is verbally or psychologically abusive towards females, nor does it matter if the undercover abuse is purposeful or not, the damage to a woman’s self esteem and emotional stability if she listens to that bullshit is exactly the same, and it can be quite considerable.

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Black Feminism and The Black Men’s Rights Movement

. 08/18/2010 . 22 Comments

Many Black men believe that all hell broke loose in America when the 1970s feminist movement came into being. These men feel that the dysfunction in the Black community – the collapse of every institution such as our churches, schools, families and communities – is due to the distortion of gender roles brought about by feminism. Looking back fondly on the apron wearing homemaker of the 1970s, Black men long for the caretaking and attention they didn’t get as children. If a woman prefers a career to staying at home with children all day, shouldn’t she have that right with no problems from her husband? Does marriage still mean property ownership of the female?

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Men Are Not Qualified to Lead Women or Relationships

. 08/07/2010 . 25 Comments

Men feel that they should lead women because that is “how it is supposed to be.” But if we remove religion from the equation, what is it that makes men feel they must be the leader? Not intelligence, drive, ambition or skills! And if it is true, as some men say, that men are destructive when left to their own devices and need women to lead them in other directions, then who is the real leader here?

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The “On Point” Black Man, Leadership and Submission

. 07/20/2010 . 42 Comments

An “on point” man has his shit together and doesn’t care about your investment portfolio, your education or your resume – he wants only to know if you are willing to pick up a bat and play on his team. Can a professional, educated Black female ever trust a man to lead?

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Women Are Socialized to be Codependent

. 06/08/2010 . 2 Comments

My working definition of codependency is anyone involved with someone else that worries more in a role where they take care of that person and worry more about that person’s needs, wants, feelings and actions than they do their own. Aren’t women deemed to be better wives, mothers and human beings when they behave in a codependent manner and condemned as selfish bitches when they have firm boundaries?

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The Decline in Black Marriages… Is Marriage for Educated White People?

. 01/25/2010 . 2 Comments

A report released on January 18th, 2010 by the Pew Research Center identifies a fundamental reconfiguration of marriage: As a consequence of increased education and greater access to high-paying jobs, wives are more likely than ever before to earn more and to be better educated than their husbands. Research indicates that equality in a number of areas is associated with today’s successful relationships: similar background, social class and educational level among them. Why then are so many Black men angry at Black women for demanding that their spouse have a college degree?

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The 70% of Black Women Are Single Lie Exposed

. 12/21/2009 . 26 Comments

I think it is important to note that statistics I am going to present apply only to those who self-identified in the last Census as just Black – not Black and Native American, not bi-racial, not a blend of three or more races like Tiger Woods with his Cablasian self. The “single never married” group of African Americans is close to 50% of the African American population. However, this statistical grouping also includes men. It also includes people that are gay or lesbian, that don’t want to get married EVER, those incarcerated that are not allowed to marry until their release, as well as those involved in a relationship that is not yet at the altar (engaged or living together).

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The Male Struggle for Control of Female Sexuality

. 09/29/2009 . 15 Comments

A male reader writes in to share his thoughts on his belief that women not only lose value if they have multiple lovers, but that any woman can easily have 300 lovers in one year since all she has to do is have a vagina and give her consent. Why are some men so fixated on a woman’s purity as the sole source of her worth and value as a person?

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Statistics on Black Women… Don’t Believe The Hype!

. 07/24/2009 . 3 Comments

Are statistics true that show that Black women have a harder time with relationships than women of other races? Think about that and what truths are really exposed by an “average.” I suggest that all Americans be very leery of what is packaged as “statistics” when it comes to Black America. Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.

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