Columnist Deborrah Cooper Slams Steve Harvey and Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man

| 05/15/2012 | Comments (13)

Dating expert and advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, host of The Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show took a look at the popularity of comedian turned relationships guru Steve Harvey’s best-selling book Act Like a Lady – Think Like a Man. Shocked at the positive response of millions of women that went out and bought a guide to understanding men and bettering relationships written by a COMEDIAN (and a bad one at that), Ms. Cooper wanted to read the book and come to her own conclusions.

In essence, she says the book is “a useless disgusting piece of crap that should be thrown in the nearest garbage can. From the first sentence of the first chapter, the reader is set up to accept what follows as factual material on ALL men, with Steve Harvey (who was nothing but a thrice married joke teller the day before the book was released), as an expert in relationships and what women need to do to maintain one.”Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man book review by advice columnist and dating expert Deborrah Cooper

During this one hour broadcast, Deborrah breaks the book down and provides astute, on point chapter by chapter analysis, highlighting:

  • the double talking and use of a  lot of words that don’t really say anything
  • why men should not, as Harvey advocates, be treated as Kings or supported by women during their goal achievement phase
  • the manipulative words designed to guilt trip and blame women for men’s negative and irresponsible behavior
  • the sexist misogynist emotionally abusive language and concepts that threaten women with abandonment and anguish of a cheating man
  • why the unbelievable imbalance in giving and taking between men and women Harvey advocates as the norm in relationships sets women up for codependent emotionally damaging situations
  • the sleight of hand magician tricks that present a male’s closed off selfishness and narcissism as the only type of a ‘love’ a woman can rightly expect to get
  • the brainwashing that perpetuates the belief that anything a man says should be taken by women to be The Gospel
  • why women should ignore Harvey’s mandate that women provide loyalty, support and unconditional love no matter how poorly she is treated or talked to
  • how single black women are set up to be involved in poor relationships by men with a pimp mentality like Harvey due to their religious-based programming of ‘following men’ even if the men do not have their best interest at heart

Of course there is a lot more. Choose a section that interests you, or listen to the entire show. Leave your comments and let us know what YOU think!

Catch us live the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of every month at 11:00 a.m. PST. To listen, log onto Inner Light Radio. Participate in the discussion with your questions or comments by calling 310-928-7733 or SKYPE to “inner_light_radio”.



Listen to the Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show hosted by advice columnist Deborrah Cooper

Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 1

Deborrah introduces the topic of the day and promises to ‘rip Steve Harvey’s behind to shreds.’


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 2

The set up and the game begins with the title of the book and continues in Chapter One, as women are told they aren’t good enough, that something is wrong with them, and that women need to change to be more like men. Why must a woman deny and dismiss her gentle feminine energy to fight the games that men insist on playing? Then you men turn around and complain that black women are too ‘masculinized’ when you made them that way by lying, cheating, and demanding that women think like you do? WTF is that?


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 3

How men identify themselves as men by what they do and how much money they make. The pursuit of manhood is a dangerous road that can leave many women roadkill. A caller is thrilled that the book is finally being analyzed due to its promotion of dysfunctional relationships.



Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 4

Harvey explains that women only fit into the cracks of a man’s life until he is established and that a woman should not expect to be anything but an afterthought in a man’s life as he strives. So why do so many black male relationship experts  such as Steve Harvey promote that women align themselves with men that don’t have their shit together, and accept his ‘potential?’


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 5

Chapter 2 Our Love is Not Your Love broken down to show the toxicity of such unbalanced love for women, and how such a relationship is a set up for emotional abuse, being used for sex, and heartbreak.


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 6

A man that loves you will do three tired things to prove it? While you cook, clean, take care of his children, and his house then sex him down on demand while supporting and encouraging him and be loyal to him? Explanation of how dating is like poker and women need to stop talking so damn much and playing their hand.


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 7

The three things every man needs – support, love and sex. Support includes making a man feel like he’s king even if he doesn’t act kingly. Is that right?  Why do so many black women fall for this game as Steve laughs all the way to the bank! Special words for those black women that blindly believe all black men are kings.


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 8

His goal is to have women giving, giving, giving to men while at the same time he excuses men from giving to women with the excuse that men only give three things when they love.  He puts forth the theory that women should expect to be cheated on if they ain’t giving it up to his specifications because ‘that’s what men do.”


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 9

The chapter on Why Men Cheat broken down into the minute particles of bullshit that it is as he makes everything women’s fault while men take no responsibility for where they put their dick. Also delves into reasons why black people have lowest levels of wealth in the nation, and the true reason why so many black women are single.


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – Part 10

Deb breaks down the REAL reasons why men cheat, not the b.s. excuses that Steve gives that blame you for your man’s nasty, negative behavior. How to avoid looking stupid by asking a man questions you shouldn’t be asking in the first place or asking HIM questions that you cannot provide responses to yourself.


Steve Harvey Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Dissected – End

Deborrah concludes this week’s broadcast by summing it all up ‘the book is sexist, misogynistic garbage from a narcissistic fool!’


Troy Johnson of AALBC.COM reviews Steve Harvey’s second book Straight Talk No Chaser – How to Find, Keep and Understand a Man



Click to order

The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid is advice columnist Deborrah Cooper’s latest release. Women – learn how to fine tune your dating strategy and stop dating the wrong men! Men – if you want to improve your ability to interact with women, you can read this book and learn what NOT to do! The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid contains the tools every single woman tired of short-term relationships with losers needs to know.

Change what you seek in a partner and how you look for it, quickly eliminating those will do nothing but waste your time in yet another dead-end relationship. Available in paperback and downloadable Ebook formats for Nook, Kindle, iPad, and Android tablets as well.


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Comments (13)

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  1. palefloret says:

    zipporah Sadly most black women probably did we have our own romance etc.  It’s different with BM etc.   Keep in mind that Denene Miller the author of that hot mess version of the Rules The Sistah’s Rules is the ghostwriter of Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady (which was stolen from a Self Published author Sharon P Carson and way different from the mess this team came up with).  Ever read The Sistah’s Rules?  I did when I was a teen an threw that mess out.  When I found out it was a version of a previous book I went and read the original.  For some reason in the 90’s early 2000’s there was this trend of having black versions of books.  Many of which were hot messes.

  2. palefloret says:

    You are better off reading He’s Just Not that Into You (which is by a guy, but a man who is honest about helping women) coupled with the Rules by Ellen Fein.   The Rules seem harsh when reading, because it’s so serious, but when you really think about it from a real world stand point it becomes common sense.

  3. palefloret says:

    He also stole the book from another author Sharon P. Carson

  4. heyweezie says:

    And his teeth are too white.

  5. jillodelight says:

    Great job breaking it down. From reading the Amazon reviews of this book, its disturbing to see how so many women are male identified.

  6. CFID2012 says:

    Thank goodness that someone ripped this to shreds. My friend and I are always discussing how women in the black community get the short end of the stick, and we laugh/groan every time we see this book.
    Women, you do not need to submit to anyone. Don’t be afraid of being alone. And I promise you, there are mature men out there who aren’t going to saddle you with this crap. Don’t spend all of your time and effort on some loser because he’s convinced you that you can’t do (or don’t deserve) better.

  7. Patricia Kayden says:

    It’s funny because the BW I know absolutely love Steve Harvey, his advice book and the movie.  I’ve neither read the book nor watched the movie.  Harvey is smooth talking and for some reason, BW love a smooth talking “Brother”.  I’ll direct my girlfriends here so they can get a balanced view.

    • kiki100 says:

       @Patricia Kayden Yes and Oprah had him as a guest on the show. His performance on the show was not that bad, but listening to this being broken down changes how I see steeve

  8. Razzy says:

    Thank you Ms. Cooper for breaking down this book.  This big sausage lipped fool is nothing but a pimp and his book is really a guide to ‘how to pimp women’ and run a mind fuck game on them’.
    Too many women are quick to listen  males like steve.  Women need to stop being so quick to listen to men who are always telling them what they ‘need to be doing in order to get and keep a man.  Meanwhile these same males have not one word of advice for what men need to be doing in order to get and keep a woman happy. 

  9. zipporah says:

    BTW–i didnt see his movie: i heard from, that it was ‘anti black woman’..from a guy who said he wasnt black–or implied it

  10. gracepamer says:

    Sounds like a bit of a clown to me.  Why take relationship tips from a failed comedian?

  11. DanaStanley says:

    100% FIDELITY…need I go on?

  12. DanaStanley says:

    Goodness!  NOT into changing myself to the point I don’t recognize myself to only get an ounce of affection from some dude.  If I’m coming 100% – he better come 100%.  I don’t want any codependency or any enabling dysfunction.  100% love, 100 % affection, 100% hard work!

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