Bitch Made “Good Men” In the Dating Pool

| 06/25/2009 | Comments (3)

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Excuse my rant but I just have to post something about the mentality level of the men that are in our current dating pool. What the hell is going on? 

There are four factors at work in our society which are churning out bitch made men like Hostess snack cakes: 

  1. Too many boys growing up in single parent homes and socialized primarily by females. The boys grow up thinking and acting like girls – they practically have periods every month! This happens because…

  2. The boys were fathered by bitch made males that refuse to own up to their responsibility in the creation of those children. These punkass males chose to have unprotected sex with a fertile woman, yet want to sit back and place 100% of the blame on someone else for "making me a father when I didn’t want to be!" These bitch made punks abandon their sons and leave them to be raised by women – a job no woman can successfully do alone;

  3. The spineless men that are actually in homes with sons that allow themselves to be punked out by their wives/girlfriends/baby’s momma and fail to take charge of the situation, fail to properly discipline their boys, and fail to raise their sons to be solid men of character and promise; and

  4. Women who date and marry these bitch made men continue to treat them like children, do too much for them, always trying to "help" them, and allow them to continue their irresponsible behavior patterns. You women make no demands on these fools for respectful treatment and performance. They are used to getting away with murder!

I’m really tried of the I’m A Good Black Man crew especially.  

All these dudes claiming they are "a good man" but can’t get or keep a woman, accept that you don’t have what it takes. You are corny and your game is weak! Change yo’ game and quit whining about why Sistahs don’t want you, and why women choose men you feel are bottom feeders.. men you put down and label as losers. These losers are winning over you, aren’t they? Their genes are the ones being spread through the country, not yours. They may have tats, but they also have a woman that loves them and babies to prove it. Most have several women! What does your whining ass have?  

Damn, I can’t stand no punk ass, bitch made man! 

Bottom line is this: Women are not men. We do not choose a mate by your logical linear thinking male standards. We choose a man based on our hearts… through some ancient, primal, mating call we are drawn to the Alpha male, the warrior in spirit, the man we feel will protect us but who can make us laugh with funny stories and kiss us tenderly at the same time.  

"Good" men want women to choose a mate based on mental analysis and a checklist. And some women will do that! They’ll listen to you and pick the man their family thinks is a great catch, a good church going Brotha, a man who was probably a virgin until he was 25.  

And this man… the one that makes logical sense, will eventually get married, but he won’t ever be passionately loved. His wife is the one that has him around to pay the bills, but gets her toes curled by the thug dude from 105th that makes her heart race.  

This man that "makes logical sense" may have a wife in name, and even if she doesn’t cheat on him, he will see her back a lot in bed.  "Good" men are so worried about getting everyone else’s approval that they refuse to see that they aren’t as "good" as they think they are. "Good" men rarely give a woman what she needs to be bound to him emotionally, psychologically, sexually. Such men are typically boring, stiff and uncommunicative (though men refer to such a fella as "stable.") 

"Good" men want to tout their goodness like it’s a badge of honor, a trophy, something that entitles them to more or better or what they want. In the mating game your "goodness" means absolutely nothing.  You thinking you are "good" (which translates into better than the next dude) entitles you to absolutely nothing.  And you telling women over and over why we should pick you instead of the other guy makes you sound like a whining bitch made, punkass man. 

The intelligent, accomplished, devoted, but excitingly sexy women you "good" men prefer to marry isn’t looking for a 100% thug, but neither does she want a 100% good man. Such women need a man with the qualities of both… a responsible solid guy that helps with the dishes, that we are proud of, and that we trust. But we also want him to have the ability to surprise us regularly with unexpected yet delightful behaviors, to do the latest dances, and to talk shit to us in bed and turn us out.  

This man stirs our imagination and heart during the middle of the day when we are supposed to be working! Thinking about this man brings a little smile to our face when we are sitting in rush hour traffic. We can’t wait to see him, kiss him, hug him, touch him, and have sex with him.  If he has tattoos, a youthful conviction, or a baby’s momma from his past, so what? That doesn’t mean he hasn’t grown and matured, doesn’t mean he doesn’t treat his woman with respect, nor does it mean he is a bad guy. He may not be perfect, and he may not be good by YOUR standards, but he is good for us! And that is what women are looking for. 

So instead of complaining and whining about women’s choices in men, get off your high horse and get busy changing yourself into the man that women want. Stop wearing those goofy looking clothes… dress your age and get out of those jerseys! Grow a goatee or something and make yourself look sexier. Hit the gym and find your abs again under all that blubber. Stop being a downer – judgmental and negative about everything. You turn women off with that attitude of superiority.

And you can certainly continue to strive to meet some imaginary scale of "goodness" based on male standards if it makes you feel better.  This is especially important if you are into sleeping with men!  

But if your goal is to sleep next to a woman that is madly and passionately in love with you every night for the rest of your life, you better listen and incorporate the traits that WOMEN want into your personality.  

You can be right and alone, or you can be happy and in love. You pick.  


Listen to the podcast of the March 19, 2008 interview with author Rom Wills 


Nice Guys vs. Players: Why Players Get the Women and Nice Guys Don’t Get No Love

Article:  Why Nice Guys Suck and Women Don’t Want You

Article:  How Nice Guys Can Develop the Player Edge That Women Love


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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Comments (3)

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  1. Joe Bennett says:

    A woman can clothe a boy, she can feed a boy, she can can love a boy… but it takes a man to raise a boy into a man. Very good article, keep up the good work!

  2. Deborrah says:

    Thank you for the comment. I want you to know how much I respect and admire a young man that expresses a desire to change and asks for help, vs. one that whines about things. So it seems you are not one of the bitch made dudes I am talking about at all! I’ll give your request some thought. Look for a post with the guidance you seek in a week or so.

  3. Buttaman says:

    Instead of trampling down us “nice guy’s throats” the point that we shouldn’t be nice guys. Give us some advice on being the brash romantic man you want us to be. I can’t help that I was 1) raised by my mother, who also did not have a father 2) The youngest of three kids with two older SISTERS, 3) had no cousins, no uncles, no grandfather. So of course I’m gonna come up as a BITCHASS MAN. That is obviously what GOD had planned for me based on my particular situation. Now instead of being a bitch about it, be a human being with and an advice column and share how I can magically become this swagger-licious man that you women swoon all over. This article did hit 3rd base, but it didn’t hit home. I need some simple guidance on how to change.

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