Exposing Black Male Privilege
Popular Culture
27. I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.
28. I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.
29. When I go to the movies, I know that most of the leads in black films are men. I also know that all of the action heroes in black film are men.
30. I can easily imagine that most of the artists in Hip Hop are members of my sex.
31. I can easily imagine that most of the women that appear in Hip Hop videos are there solely to please men
32. Most of lyrics I listen to in hip-hop perpetuate the ideas of males dominating women, sexually and socially.
33. I have the privilege of consuming and popularizing the word pimp, which is based on the exploitation of women with virtually no opposition from other men.
34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.
35. I can wear a shirt that others and I commonly refer to as a “wife beater” and never have the language challenged.
36. Many of my favorite movies include images of strength that do not include members of the opposite sex and often are based on violence.
37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are based on violence.
38. I have the privilege of popularizing or consuming the idea of a thug, which is based on the violence and victimization of others with virtually no opposition from other men.
Attitudes/Ideology
39. I have the privilege to define black women as having “an attitude” without referencing the range of attitudes that black women have.
40. I have the privilege of defining black women’s attitudes without defining my attitudes as a black man.
41. I can believe that the success of the black family is dependent on returning men to their historical place within the family, rather than in promoting policies that strengthen black women’s independence, or that provide social benefits to black children.
42. I have the privilege of believing that a woman cannot raise a son to be a man.
43. I have the privilege of believing that a woman must submit to her man.
44. I have the privilege of believing that before slavery gender relationships between black men and women were perfect.
45. I have the privilege of believing that feminism is anti-black.
46. I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.
47. I have the privilege of believing that household responsibilities are women’s roles.
48. I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.
Sports
49. I will make significantly more money as a professional athlete than members of the opposite sex will.
50. In school, girls are cheerleaders for male athletes, but there is no such role for males to cheerlead for women athletes.
51. My financial success or popularity as a professional athlete will not be associated with my looks.
52. I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing video games while women are most likely involved with household or childcare duties.
53. I can spend endless hours watching sports TV and have it considered natural.
54. I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as sexual.
55. I know that most sports analysts are male.
56. If I am a coach, I can motivate, punish, or embarrass a player by saying that the player plays like a girl.
57. Most sports talk show hosts that are members of my race are men.
58. I can rest assured that most of the coaches -even in predominately-female sports within my race are male.
59. I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be considered a problem.
60. I am essentially able to do anything inside or outside without my shirt on, whereas women are always required to cover up.
Diaspora/Global
61. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where the mutilation and disfigurement of a girl’s genitalia is used to deny her sexual sensations or to protect her virginity for males.
62. I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.
63. I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.
64. I have the ability to travel around the world and have access to women in developing countries both sexually and socially.
65. I have the privilege of being a part of the sex that starts wars and that wields control of almost all the existing weapons of war and mass destruction.
College
66. In college, I will have the opportunity to date outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women will.
67. I have the privilege of having the phrase “sewing my wild oats” apply to my sex as if it were natural.
68. I know that the further I go in education the more success I will have with women.
69. In college, black male professors will be involved in interracial marriages at much higher rates than members of the opposite sex will.
70. By the time I enter college, and even through college, I have the privilege of not having to worry whether I will be able to marry a black woman.
71. In college, I will experience a level of status and prestige that is not offered to black women even though black women may outnumber me and out perform me academically.
72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to exploit black women
Communication/Language
73. What is defined as “News” in Black America is defined by men.
74. I can choose to be emotionally withdrawn and not communicate in a relationships and it be considered unfortunate but normal.
75. I can dismissively refer to another persons grievances as ^*ing.
76. I have the privilege of not knowing what words and concepts like patriarchy, phallocentric, complicity, colluding, and obfuscation mean.
Relationships
77. I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.
78. My “strength” as a man is never connected with the failure of the black family, whereas the strength of black women is routinely associated with the failure of the black family.
79. If I am considering a divorce, I know that I have substantially more marriage, and cohabitation options than my spouse.
80. Chances are I will be defined as a “good man” by things I do not do as much as what I do. If I don’t beat, cheat, or lie, then I am a considered a “good man”. In comparison, women are rarely defined as “good women” based on what they do not do.
81. I have the privilege of not having to assume most of the household or child-care responsibilities.
82. I have the privilege of having not been raised with domestic responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and washing that takes up disproportionately more time as adults.
Church & Religious Traditions
83. In the Black Church, the majority of the pastoral leadership is male.
84. In the Black Church Tradition, most of the theology has a male point of view. For example, most will assume that the man is the head of household.
(continued on page 3 below)
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Men's Issues
Razzy AnthonyBlakMartianTinney If you don`t like the advice someone is trying to “SELL” you,DON`T BUY IT,DON`T LISTEN TO IT!!! You do have freedom of choice after all
@Guapo1492 It’s all relative. Privileged in relation to whom?
I have a solution for ALL black women.If black men are so bad……..LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Problem solved.It`s not my obligation as a black man to morph myself into ANYONES` version of who they think i`m suppose to be.Live your life,Stop trying to live MINE.
AnthonyBlakMartianTinney
Black men need to stop expecting black women to morph themselves into what they want them to be as well. Look at all these black men out there like Steve Harvey and others all up on black women’s tip telling them how to get and keep a man. Yet when you get similiar message you don’t want to hear it.
I found my way to this blog by Google happenstance. After careful consideration I regard this list of black male “privilege” as an anachronistic litany of gynocentric stereotypes. Perhaps not all are specious but that’s moot since given the hardship that black men endure in this society, the prospect of having any kind of relationship with a women who thinks we enjoy “privilege” in relationship to them is unattractive. I do wish you and others of your ideology well though since I acknowledge that black women have a hard time of it in our society and deserve better. If such privilege were to exist the more natural couplings would be between black men with white women and black women with asian men so as to avoid exploiter with exploitee pairings.
Brian“After careful consideration I regard this list of black male “privilege” as an anachronistic litany of gynocentric stereotypes. Perhaps not all are specious but that’s moot since given the hardship that black men endure in this society, the prospect of having any kind of relationship with a women who thinks we enjoy “privilege” in relationship to them is unattractive”
Another dude sounding like Oswald Bates but clearly has no clue what he’s talking about since his comments shows a marked lack of reading comprehension skills and the inability to make intelligent inferences based on what he’s read.
You are under the erroneous belief that the black man’s plight in life makes him immune to enjoying ‘male privilege with regards to male/female relationships. These are 2 different things. And since you’re too dumb to comprehend what you’ve read even though Ms. Cooper and Brother Jewel Woods broke it down to you with the Black Male Privilege checklist, nothing else I say will enlighten you. You don’t want to understand and you are in denial that this exists.
Yet all day long you would understand white privilege when it means your azz is being mistreated by white folks, but when it comes to black men having the upper hand and mistreating black women, suddenly you become obtuse. Meanwhile everyday thousands of black women and children suffer abuse from your marked unwillingness to understand black male privilege gown awry and black women suffering from it. FOH with that BS. You need to go back to school and learn understanding instead of how to make verbose statements that really show how stubborn and ignorant you are and your inability to get over your defensiveness and realize that black males do have and exert privilege when it comes to black women in this country.
Didn’t know being a black male in America granted us any privileges.
Very good article. It just blows my mind that in this patriarchal society men try to put blame women arguing that we’re the victims, when we’ve got so much male privilige. I know that a lot of black men resent black women because the women are typically more successful, better educated than they are. They look at the fact that black girls and women are doing better than they are in school and far more black women are graduating college than black men. I think a lot of these men assumed that they would be able to get a good job without a college degree, just because they are men. But now men are blaming women and feminism claiming that they are the ones holding men back and make college a bad place for black men to be. They are arguing that the colleges have become more feminized and that placements test, teachers, administrators, favor female qualities and people than male. Of course this is rediculous, and the fact is, the most qualified people applying for college are women and it’s women that are going to college in droves and it’s women that are giving everything to obtain their degree. Even overcoming male privilage in college, where women maybe discouraged from pursuing more male dominated courses in math, engineering, etc. Instead of celebrating how successful and smart are women are, we are belittling them, complaining and resenting them for being so successful. We resent them for being successful while were the ones that dropped out or decided not to go to college at all and are now broke. This is how I felt when I married my wife and she went on to finish school and get her degree. Instead of celebrating her success, I was fool and resented it. I resented it because she made more money than I did and was much more successful. It wasn’t until later that I realized that she’s only pursuing what she wants and I should be celebrating and encouraging her instead of putting her down. She did nothing to pull me back. It was my own decision to drop out of college. No women made me do, it I did it on my own because I thought partying and screwing around was a lot more fun. We men need to stop blaming women for our own failures. Women are finally rising up, after years of not being allowed in school or being discouraged from higher education and they are pursuing their dreams to become doctors, lawyers, dentists, nurses, etc. and who are we as men to fault them for doing so? We should be encouraging and celebrating their success. If we as men are to lazy to figure out what we want to do with our lives than it’s our own fault
This isn’t Black male specific. Several men of all races and cultures use this behavior. Also if women do go for it, it doesn’t happen bottom line. I remember as teen in NY black females were less likely to talk to you unless you had flashy things or were aggressive. Again I say “IF WOMEN DON’T GO FOR IT, IT WON’T HAPPEN”
This places control of what men do on women. Not working for me. Men need to get their shit together and do what they are going to do to be the best men possible. If they don’t, and their mother wasn’t successful at it, then it is not their date’s job to raise them and mature them.
greatly detailed and informative column, and I would say substitute any other men of color and the same exact privilege apply….but since this is about black men, I’ll keep it there.
ps. I love how you respond to trolls, hysterical.
If’n it was a Black Male privledge explain, Racial Profiling, Amadou Diallo, and many other unfair things that have happened to the Black man, You can’t hold all Black men responsible for the terrible things these fools have done. Blame those commercials that tell you how you need to be seen, or the Videos telling them how to step to sistas, not us. and let the truth be told it has Been Black women that have done terrible things including Child molestation, and get people murdered We all need work. But again it’s one-sided.
You miss the entire point. The issue with privilege and black men has nothing to do with Whites, it has to do with how you all treat Black women!!! The treatment of Black women, the attitudes of superiority, the belief that you have rights to shout at us on the street, demand that we “smile” when you say so, and talk to you when you want us to, that we not make more money than you or we are “emasculating” you as well as the blame you place on us for single parent homes when it takes two to create a child are prime examples of the Black Male Privilege at work.
The fact that you could sit here and try to blame child molesting on women when it is MEN that promote child pornography, molest their step daughters and step sons, and their own children and their relatives, rape Black women in packs like its a damn sport or something, slap punch and beat Black women, kill Black women and give Black women drugs to get them hooked so you will have even MORE control … talk about that why don’t you?
I no miss the whole entire point. I hear what you sayin’ but you not hearin’ me. There ain’t no such thing as Black Man priviligde if it was you wouldn’t be writing this. I was making a general point. All behavior is learned Male and Female. And it’s cat calls in all backgrounds and it’s not all men that do that, I don’t. and many that have common sense don’t. It’s these knuckleheads that do all that good stuff everything from Honk the horn, yell across the street with phrases such as Hey Ma’, and Yo Shawty that women from all backgrounds especially sisters respond to. True it takes two to make a baby, problem is that baby suffers once it’s born to parents that won’t see eye-to-eye for the child’s sake, and family, also the irresponsiblity of both people when all they wanted to do is bone each other. Mostly all of what you talked about again goes back to slavery and it was passed down and passed on to all races let alone mental disorders as well that most people after finding out the crime they did had psychological issues to begin with. So when you make blank rants like that look at it from all angles and in case you dinna know this what Real Men do they best to prevent Niggas or anyother Man or woman from doing to anybody I talk about it, and I do something about it. Let’s see some action from you.
Danta: “and it’s not all men that do that, I don’t. and many that have common sense don’t. It’s these knuckleheads that do all that good stuff everything from Honk the horn, yell across the street with phrases such as Hey Ma’, and Yo Shawty…”
Danta, if you don’t do this sort of thing, why are you taking it so personal as if this message applies to you? And just because you claim this isn’t something that you do, doesn’t mean that the issue should be ignored and not discussed talked about by sisters who are on the receiving end of unwanted catcalls and behaviors by the ‘knuckleheads that do this. You’re talking out of both sides of your neck. One the one hand you say, ‘you don’t do this behavior’ but then you agree that this behavior exists by knuckleheads’. You don’t know what women want or don’t want. Often women respond just to get the clown off their back so they can go about their business. You also fail to realize that often women are raised to ‘not say no’ to a man which is another part of ‘male privilege’. http://survivingdating.com/when-he-wont-take-no-for-an-answer It’s hard for you as a male to recognize and acknowledge black male privilege just as it is hard for a white man to acknowledge and recognize ‘white male privilege. Those who are in power have a hard time stepping outside of their place of power to see the other side of it from those who have to ‘deal’ with ‘their’ power’. Just because you don’t ‘get black male privilege’ doesn’t mean you should dismiss it anymore than a white man should dismiss’ white male privilege because he’s not a victim of it. However Danta, if these posts don’t apply to you, why do you feel the need to act as if they do and defend’ yourself? You don’t represent all the other black males in this world.
Raz, Raz, Raz It’s alot of justification your writings, you hate it but you give it a pass at the same time. Your Doubletalkin’ skills are astounding, downright incredible,incomporable, I’ll even go as far enough to say: Swell.
and How can I talk outta both sides of my neck? Wouldn’t that make me Fish or Merman? Where I take issue is I as well as many other I ain’t gonna say nice But Down-To-Earth brothers that get lumped in the catergory of the knucklehead behavior you speak of because we are the same gender. I acknowlegde all of this exists, I get mad when y’all fall for it and by into it. Down-To-Earth brothas ain’t gonna approach nobody like that, the knuckleheads do it because they know you will respond. You can just go about your business or say you not on that, and any dude that respects women will honor that. The knuckleheads that don’t take no for an answer ususally get the Girl I seen this happen when he will pull up, ask what she or a group of females on, the knucklehead will say something that she will like and either give her info to him, or get in the car right then and there! You can’t dispute it because I know you seen it happen as well. When he won’t take no for an answer it’s like a twisted sense of persisitance and the female goes for it. If’n you really read anything I wrote you will see that I said females that like, or knuckleheads that is I don’t lump all into a catergory that’s unfair, it ain’t right. And like you said it doesn’t speak for everybody. I rep the silent majority those out there being good people, and dating responsibly the ones that Folk like the knuckleheads and women that think they too good for everybody says are lames, or believe we don’t exist. I feel passionate when anybody is attacked and they are not personally responsible. So as you say these things look from all angles it’s good and bad in everything and everyone, Black men on that tip of doin’ trifling, horrible things believe they can get away with it, women on that the same way too. Look at it from all angles it will broaden your understanding, and possibly have you come up with some solutions as well.
Negro, you don’t tell me what to write or how to write it on MY blog! If you don’t like what I write, then go elsewhere. I started this blog to post MY thoughts, and yours are totally irrelevant. I suggest you start your own blog. You can do it free all over the web. But I pay for this site, I pay for the bandwidth, and I pay for the images, and I write the content. It says what I want it to say and it looks the way I want it to look.
As for your excuses, they are silly. I would never blame people acting a fool in 2010 on what happened 500 years ago. That is a weak ass cop out and something people with low self esteem always seek to do – blame.
Check this out homie, people make babies and that is what they want to do. I don’t have to like it and neither do you, but you ranting and raving about women like they have tails is not going to change anything. Haven’t you heard the phrase “you get more bees with honey than vinegar?”
You and men like you spew vinegar and toxic acid at women and think someone is going to listen to you or take your ass seriously!? Think again!
Deborrah: “ranting and raving about women like they have tails is not going to change anything. Haven’t you heard the phrase “you get more bees with honey than vinegar?”You and men like you spew vinegar and toxic acid at women and think someone is going to listen to you or take your ass seriously!? Think again!”
Which is why a lot of males who spend an inordinate amount of time putting down women in cyberspace, spend much of their time, in cyberspace on blogs instead of in the arms of a woman in real life. The only closeness they get is through interacting with women on cyberspace lol.
Other interesting links on Black Male Privilege:
Yes Virginia, There is Black Male Privilege, by L’Heureux Dumi Lewis
An Answer to Black Male Privilege, by Dr. Lester K. Spence
Wishing you all progress …