What should I be looking for to know a man is husband material? I get asked this question a lot by women so, I’m going to attempt to give women some perspective on this most important question. For the record, let’s first start off by giving the definition of the word “husband.” In order to understand what a husband is and his duty, we must first know the definition of the term.
According to Websters unabridged dictionary:
1. The term husband refers to Middle English husband, from Old English hüsbönda, from Old Norse hüsböndi (hüs, “house” + böndi, böandi, present participle of büa, “to dwell”, so, etymologically,”a householder”)
2. A married man in relation to his wife.
3. British; A manager. Archaic; A prudent or frugal manager.
4. To manage, especially with prudent economy.
5. To use frugally; conserve: to husband one’s resources.
6. To till; To cultivate. To farm.
Now that we have done the knowledge of the word “husband” and we know the root of the word, we can add attributes to it and “dress” it up. Lets be concise and get straight to the point. A husband is someone who is married, someone who has resources, someone who deals with economy or industry, someone who can manage and is a manager, someone who can conserve or preserve, and finally, someone who can cultivate and farm.
Let’s take these terms on one by one.
- A husband is someone who is married, that means he has a wife. This is simple and straight forward.
- A husband is a manager. What is a manager? A manager is a person who manages people, places, situations, themselves and relationships.
- A husband is someone who deals with the economy or industry. That means he is a man who either works or owns his own business. He is a provider in that he works in the economy. He is prudent and that means he is a person who is wise or judicious in practical affairs; sagacious; discreet or circumspect; sober. He is someone who is careful in providing for the future; provident.
- A husband is someone who is frugal and knows how to conserve. That means he is not wasteful of resources, money, time, etc.
- A husband is someone who can till the ground or farm, cultivate. Lets take the symbolism of the term and break it down. A person who cultivates is a person who brings out the best of a persons hidden qualities. He is a nurturer and sustainer of the ground or garden, which is his wife. He shines light, love, and water, which is knowledge onto her. He separates the thorns and weeds from the vegetables or fruit. He is a farmer on a spiritual plane. He farms the mind, body and soul of his wife. He gives her what she needs, taking care not to give too much or too little.
That in itself should be enough for you to be able to see if a man is husband material or not. But let’s go a little further. What I’m about to say is strictly my humble opinion when it comes down to husbands or those who profess to be one.
- A man with husband material should be the protector of the family first and foremost. Being a protector instills a man being willing to lay down his life for his family if necessary.
- A husband material protector also protects the family from themselves and also protects the spiritual and financial aspects of the family. Being a protector is a 24 hour job, and you never get time off.
- A man that is husband material should also be able to teach the children what he knows and also be able to spend quality time with them. He should be a lover of children, whether or not they are his or not. A husband should be able and willing to provide the children with spiritual and mental support and stimuli.
- A man that is husband material should also be able to provide financially for his family. That means, if the worst happens, he can carry the load. Men who do not have something to bring to the table as far as work ethics and finances, should be avoided at all costs. He will create an environment of lack, want, need and chaos if he cannot bring resources to the table. Finances are more important than sex in a marriage. If the finances are not right, the marriage will be doomed from the beginning.
- A potential mate considered husband material should not be living off of you or anyone else. If you allow this, he will think that it is okay and continue to ride your back or the other person he is living off of. Do not accept this.
- A man that has husband potential is not a verbal, emotional or physical abuser. If he is like that, he will not change, so don’t try and change him.
This is a short concise thesis that hopefully will help give clarity to those that are unclear about the qualities a man needs to be qualify as husband material. I will add on as I see the need to do so.