Help! My Boyfriend Wants to Share Me With Other Guys!
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My boyfriend wants to share me with other guys. I’ve explained to him that I’m not comfortable with all that. I feel it will ruin our relationship. My question how do I make this more clear to him?
Signed,
Stuck
Dear Stuck:
Young lady, you are in a VERY dangerous situation with a very dangerous man. Don’t get it twisted – he understands every word you are saying completely, but he is playing the typical game men play with women who do not make strong statements. He, like most men, believe that if he asks you enough times in enough different ways, and whines and wheedles, you will eventually give in and give him what he wants.
Sadly, most women do fall for it because they worry more about keeping their boyfriend… their man happy and about him leaving than they do their own mental, physical and emotional health. You must not be that woman. Now is the time to find your voice and not only say “NO!” with authority, but show him by your actions that you mean just that.
The only way you are going to get him to understand that you mean what you say is by leaving this freak in the dust. Please understand his goal – he is trying get you used to other men screwing you at his command so he can pimp you out as a prostitute.
Once you go down this slippery slope thinking you are doing it to please him, you will be in a choke chain and next, on the street or in sleezy hotel rooms with man after man, wondering what happened to your lovely life.
You need to recognize this mess for what it is – an ease-you-into-the-idea introduction into being trafficked for sex by a pimp. That fool you call your boyfriend does NOT give a damn about you girl! Most women who get caught up in sex trafficking know the person who tricked them into it, which is how they were able to get so close to you and find out your weaknesses which they then use against you.
Get away now while you still can. Break up with him immediately if you value your life. Tell him today that its over, then never see him again.
Understand these facts:
- A man who loves you does not want to take ownership of your body and have you give it to other men for his benefit.
- A man who loves you thinks you are precious and that what the two of you share is something to be protected and revered.
- A man who loves you would not disrespect you by even fixing his lips to ask you something so sordid and repulsive.
This guy has some serious problems. He does not see you as a person, he sees your body as a tool for him to use for profit and pleasure – his own and that of any male he can sell you to. You are nothing to him but meat, something he could buy at the grocers. Please do not romanticize your association with this clown, it is NOT a relationship at all. He was merely there priming you emotionally for the kill. He chose you because you are vulnerable and needy in some way, and what he felt was easy pickings once you declared that you loved him.
This is all typical pimp game protocol. It’s almost a script.
For you I suggest you watch your back. Do not eat or drink anything he gives you. Don’t smoke anything he gives you. Don’t let him touch you. Do not be alone with him or his friends or family anywhere. Don’t feel sorry for him and get together “just to talk” at his place or let him into yours.
Reality is if you go to his house he is going to set you up. Your “boyfriend” will have several men there to rape you into submission; the logic being you may as well sell yourself now since you’ve already done it once. Don’t fall for it!
Tell your friends and relatives what is going on with this boyfriend of yours so they can help you watch your back and keep you safe as well. Then if anything should happen to you, people will know who to send the cops looking for and have your story of what he was trying to do.
What I am telling you is very real… it happens all the time to naive young women who think they have a loving boyfriend when they are just getting flipped by a wanna be pimp.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Dating Advice
He is a pimp. Pure and simple. Contact law enforcement.
The girl should flip the script on this scumbag of a boyfriend and tell him she wants to see him used by other men, then rip out a big dildo and shove it up his unlubricated azz.