How to Keep Romance Alive in Your Relationship

| 07/09/2012 | Comments (2)

Five Steps To Keeping The Romance Alive In Your Relationshiphow to keep romance alive in your relationship by grace pamer

Anyone who has been in a relationship for a long time will tell you that the “honeymoon phase” does, in fact, exist and will begin to settle down. Of course, trying to explain that to a young couple, just beginning a courtship, will most likely fall on deaf ears.

It isn’t that couples don’t love each other as deeply or intimately as time passes but, rather, that “life” happens. Careers, children, financial obligations, health issues or even aging family members can kidnap time needed for a couple to keep their romance and relationship fresh and alive.

Sometimes couples who have been together a long time can look at enthusiastic new lovers with a bit of envy. But what a more mature couple needs to recognize, something new relationships never have, is the security in knowing your relationship made it through all types of obstacles and is still going strong! Every challenge faced to date has built up your marriage or relationship, adding more glue to your loving bond.

So begin by celebrating this gift – that you’ve found a best friend and lover to share your life with. There isn’t anything wrong with you or your love, you’ve just let responsibilities become time vampires, getting in the way of the romance you need to reconnect and reignite the spark.

Here are five steps that will help you keep the romance alive and get you back on track:

It’s Quantity, Not Quality

Wait a minute! Isn’t that the opposite rule of thumb? Actually, many couples make the mistake of making one large, fancy romantic evening that is supposed to make up for weeks without connection. What your relationship really needs is just “little things” and connections daily. Otherwise, the time between these big events will leave you feeling lonely and disappointed in your relationship.

Make A Connection Throughout The Day, When You Have To Be Apart

One “little thing” is to find a way to keep connected throughout the day, every day. Make a habit of having a quick breakfast together (no newspaper reading, just time with each other and family). Send a little love email or text when at the office. Always have a brief hello on the phone at lunch. Surprise each other with a little love theme post-it note in the car, lunch bag, etc.

Replace Separate Activities With Ones That Promote Being Together

TV, reading a book in bed or going for an hour jog alone can guarantee the few hours you have on weeknights will disappear in what feels like minutes. Of course, having time to yourself if important sometimes, but to keep the spark alive you need to be in the same room! Do crosswords before bed instead of watching tv or reading, exercise together or play a game after dinner.

Do Normal Routines As A Team

If children’s baths, doing dishes, walking the dog or helping kids with homework are normal evening routines, do them together as a team so you can laugh, talk and connect. Always eat dinner at the table together, without distractions. Get a double recliner love seat so you can snuggle up when you do want to watch a movie.

Absolutely Schedule Time Together

Having a family with children can make time alone challenging, which is why the 4 steps above help promote having time together, period – whether doing chores or tending to children. Those steps will bring you closer because they promote more time as a couple and as a team every day.

However, you still do need to make an effort to schedule time for just the two of you. If you have kids, enlist family, swap play dates with neighbors or hire a babysitter to get the job done.

Think back to the things you used to love to do when first starting out, and start doing them once more. If you used to love horseback riding, even a few hours alone on a Saturday afternoon will ignite the spark again.

Make an effort to find ways to make time together, even if only for a few hours here or one hour there, and you will be on your way to having a relationship those “honeymoon phase” couples will envy!



Grace Pamer is a work from home mom and the author of, one woman’s on going quest to get her husband reaquainted with the art of writing love letters for her.

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  1. ManProSeo says:

    Thank you so much for your advice. It is really difficult to keep that romance in daily life. Especially for life after having children

  2. Razzy says:

    This is great advice.  A relationship needs time and attention daily just like we need air to breath.  You can’t neglect your loved ones and over time expect that they will continue to love you with the same enthusiasm as they did when you first started out.

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