How Nice Guys Can Develop The Player Edge That Women Love

| 08/31/2010 | Comments (57)

Written by Rom Wills

Let’s face it. Despite women’s complaints about the shortage of men there are plenty around. Too many good, decent men sit at home Saturday nights with nothing to keep them happy but a six-pack and a VCR. These men span the spectrum. Some are nice guys whose feelings are constantly trampled by the same women who say they are looking for a good man.

Some are wannabe players consistently getting played because most women see past their games. But all of these men have one thing in common: they are not among the group of men considered desirable by the majority of women. What most men fail to realize is that women consciously and subconsciously place men into two categories: select and non-select.

Before describing the men in each group it must be understood how women choose men.

Despite what the media says, women don’t necessarily look for men with nice, sensitive personalities. Women look for romantic intoxication. They are similar to alcoholics, except that their high is emotional. Women look for excitement whether it is through sex or someone taking them on a romantic getaway. If you break it down this romantic intoxication is nothing more than arousal for women. In plain language women go for men who can turn them on.

The men who are in the select category are ones who can keep women in a state of romantic intoxication. They can turn women on. The men in the select group usually have one of two things going for them: a good body build or success. Sometimes men in the select group have both.

Despite what a woman may say otherwise, a man’s looks and money influences who she selects for dating. Think about it like this, a man with a nice body will be select because women always go for looks first. If the man doesn’t have the looks he will be select if he has other things going for him such as money, power and status which have been a turn-on for women since the beginning of time.

Men in the non-select group are there because they cannot deliver the romantic intoxication women require. Generally these men lack the looks and the money to turn women on. As a result women largely ignore them. Even when non-select men do manage to get into relationships they are usually treated poorly. In many cases women use them for their time or the little money they have. The nice guy becomes “the man” for a woman in every way except when it comes to sex.

The wannabe players are usually fodder for the female players. They think they’re playing women but it’s usually the other way around. Men in the non-select group are subject to the whims and wishes of the women they desire.

If non-select men wish to become select men there are four basic things they must do:

The first thing to do is to realize that women choose the men. This point must be understood. Even men who think they are choosing the women need to wake up and smell the coffee. Men must stop wasting time chasing women who do not want them and work on recognizing the women who do.

The second thing men must do is work on their physical appearance. Too many men allow themselves to get out of shape. Most of the men in the non-select group need to either build up their bodies or lose weight. Men with good builds turn on women. A big chest and smile will get a man a long way. A man must also keep himself well groomed. Many men lose out because they do not keep themselves clean. I’ve seen too many dirty looking men try to talk to women and then get mad when women ignore them. It is especially important for men to wear clothes that enhance their appearance and fit them properly. The clothes a man wears and how he wears them can create a look and style which will attract women.

The third thing a man must do is to develop himself economically. That means he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life then work toward his goals.  The man needs to develop his skills to the point he can be financially compensated. Money isn’t everything but it is needed for basic survival in today’s world. Seems obvious? Judging from how many men are broke and lazy, working for a living isn’t obvious to many people.  These same men have the nerve to get mad if a woman rejects them. Like it or not a man has to have some finances.

The fourth and most important thing a man must do to become a part of the select group is to develop self-respect.

Women do not respect many nice guys. Nice guys allow women to run over them and want the women to desire them romantically in exchange. Why should a woman respect someone who does not respect himself? Women do not fantasize about a man they can run over. Nice guys have to demand respect.  Once they do this women will begin to look at them in a new light.

There has never really been a shortage of men. There has only been a shortage of men in the select group. Men in the non-select group, instead of getting mad at women, need to look at themselves and embark on a program of self-improvement. The rewards of such a program will propel a man into the ranks of the select group of men.

Written by Rom Wills (http://www.ihbooks.com)

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Raz

Music lover living on the East Coast that enjoys spending time with close friends, reading and writing.

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Comments (57)

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  1. Michael Elam says:

    @ Deborrah – Will these 4 steps that Rom pointed out  help a man get into that ‘top 20 %’ that people always talk about.

  2. TK says:

    I bought your book Mr. Wills a long time ago, good work women do choose the men indeed, and its always better to be the man, or a real man, sharpen your game fellas, Mr. Wills knows what he is talking about indeed, God bless.

    Knowledge is power-
    And the way of a man and maiden’ Proverbs(read it!)

  3. Danta' says:

    To Rom: I hear you, But this article would have more validity if:

    1. You showed yourself in this video, and

    2.If I didn’t grow up around and with Playas but I did.

    That’s why I don’t agree, it worked for you understood, don’t mean every man has to do it, and I ain’t! also you said the True Alpha Male The True Alpha Male is a Male that is just a Perfect Physical Specimen Physical Appearance, and Physical Strength. And is considered Dominant over every Male, Every Male Everywhere! No mention is about How intelligent he is, or mentally strong just physically being appealing and assumed that as he has that he is strong and that’s it.

    Macks and playas are different as I don’t represent any of it but I respect a Mack and not the 1970’s representation of one. A True mack has all of what you describe is and tells the truth about what he does, and who he’s with, A playa lies, and Fronts and it’s a Shame when you got dudes commin’ up to you that’s younger than you tellin’ you this is what you gotta do, cuz they go for it, This happened to me when I spoke to a dude I knew that was younger. Why Women wanna keep buying the Brooklyn Bridge? and Why do you wanna keep sellin’ it to em’?

    Another thing when you say women look at the appearance of a man, that’s true but I’ve seen broken down men, and Knuckleheads pull very attractive women, where those same women have passed over men that would be considered Alpha Males, or In shape or supposedly dominant Dudes. They don’t spend a second working out in the gym or anywhere else but got the best lookin’ women so-to-speak. A woman gives the “elevator” look She looks at your shoes and hair that’s it if they kept up she may consider talking to you, You can be a Physical Adonis, but if your hair and shoes ain’t right she ain’t speaking That is a Fact. and You also talk about sexual masculinity, You can say sexual appeal that will get a woman interested, and a woman knows within 5 seconds of meeting a man if something is gonna happen or not, It’s still her choice and her choice to find out that sexual masculinity because that’s the only way she will find out if he can or can’t if she says yes. On sexual masculinity as you and Deborrah put it, You want Men to do it like the Caveman where He would club a female on the head, drag her by her hair, back to his cave? That’s what sexual masculinity is A woman being strong-armed for sex or Brute Strength. Going back to physical appearance You can be in the Gym all you want It’s in the field where it counts. It’s many people that’s in the gym that got the physical appearance that cannot Run a Mile or a Block, or lift anything as heavy as a chair. But they look physically appealing. Goin’ to the Playa If you talked about the Pros of a playa like knowing what to say at the right time, and how to dress that’s cool, But you didn’t. Mostly all players are deceitful they lie, and they play, where do you think The Word scrubs, Punks, Corny, Dogs and DL come from, and how women identify them? Playas. No woman wants to be with these men for long they just bring the illusion of fun, and havin’ the so-called wild sex they claim Nice dudes can’t do. I grew up with dudes that was cool, then they started to bang and sell drugs then the women started noticing them. I say what up to them, they act like they didn’t know me. That’s phonny and that’s what playas bring.

    If women want to do it right Go to Europe where Sistas are being treated like Royalty,or Better a Goddess and not a piece. Like they are in the states. Most women that get involved with playas always complain about how no good he is, and always taking playas to Court or fighting with another woman he playin’ her with. You didn’t mention a playa is faithful, and you won’t because they ain’t. or that a playa does not clean up where he lives usually with his woman, or many women, or his mother and he won’t he just talks his way out of doing it.
    Plus I seen come to my old hood all the time females that think they in the playa world cuz they in the hood, and it’s exciting. It would be one to 5 females walkin’ with about 8 to 10 dudes back to whoever crib to do something stupid and don’t have a smile on their face, because they know they finna get disrespected in every way possible but it’s excitin’. and women in they 30’s to 40’s messin’ with knuckleheads or yung playa’s in the late teens and early 20’s like they did back in the day Hittin’ that brick wall. I seen this outside the Hood too. And it’s a shame when young girls think this how a man got to be what a man represents. 2 females came to my spot for the person that lived above me, but rung my doorbell! They knew who they was lookin’ for but didn’t know where he lived, must be that sense of adventure. It was women that told me I should be more mean, what for? I’m not gonna be on anything stupid, and lie to my woman, or curse her out to satisfy what she think a man is or to turn her on. I was raised right. You talk about Nature not being kind to weak, it ain’t kind to the strong either more strong are gone than the weak, Nature is kind to those that bond with it. You talk intelligence it’s more than being able to spout big words, and know what’s goin’ on as far a popularity goes, and having a degree. You gotta be able to solve,and resolve things, as well be aware of your environment. Good you take your kids to the library I wish more parents would do that, or better yet read to them at home. All of what you talked about is about Attraction, not Making a Life for yourself, and the people you know. It shouldn’t take all that for you and who you hang with to do the right thing, let alone make a life for yourself. Everything of what you talked about in this article does not apply to any other culture with Men, all of what you talked is considered in other cultures of a man providing for himself and his family, a man that cares about himself that’s why he stays healthy, and run, and lift outside the gym,. It’s a shame that this only Applies to the Black folk. If it is that way Survival of the fittest then it would be true of all cultures, Remember the Roman Empire?, The English Rule? The Soviet Union? I can go on all those Nations had what? Strength. the most powerful in the world and they all crumbled, How’s that for survival of the fittest?

    Let’s Just say we agree to disagree.

    One mo’ at Rom: Plus if you didn’t have all that you wrote about in this article would you still be able to pull women, or have that edge? Do it with out all that, and just being yourself No playa, No mack, no work out no nothing could you still do it? This is what Down-To-Earth Dudes, or Nice Dudes do all the time being they self playin’ the game while being in it. Take what I said under consideration, or better yet Think on that.

    • Rom says:

      Danta,

      First, I didn’t have anything to do with the video. I wrote the article ten years ago.

      Two, I didn’t just grow up around Players, I come from a family of them going back to my great grandfathers.

      My observations come from watching men getting women from the time I was BORN. My article isn’t based on simply what worked for me. This is based on what I’ve SEEN work for men since the sixties. I’m not some young’un to this game. Nothing has really changed.

      Yes I’ve seen some broke down men get some women. Then somebody like me comes along and TAKES the woman. Also take into consideration that just because you think somebody is broke down doesn’t mean a woman thinks the same way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

      Let me ask you one simple question. Is what you’re doing now to attract women working for YOU? That’s the bottom line. Don’t come back at me with a long essay. It’s a simple yes or no question.

      Peace,
      Rom

      • Danta' Williams says:

        Rom:

        I know you weren’t in the video. also I came
        from that same line of men as well. And chose not to be on that.

        Understood, and alot has changed and stayed the same in 10 years. On top of that I just responded back to the essay you gave me, With what I observed, and what I have experienced, as well as seein’ playa’s in action directly or indirectly anywhere I go. and answered all of your points. And it’s not about that, Women are gonna like who they gonna like but in the same token women can’t expect men to live up to what is being popularized, Gettin’ to know the dude or who they like don’t even cross they brain with women that like the playa’s edge. And I wasn’t talkin’ about broken down men in the sense of appearance I was talking about Men that embrace the image so much of being rageddy but hard, street-slang but no street-smart it’s the image that attracts the women that want dudes to be like this character ain’t even in the catergory.

        but to answer your question if what I’m doing is
        working to attract women? Could be.

        But I’m a woman man, So yes it is working.

  4. Justaniceguy says:

    Forget all that has been said here, enough! All this arguing has made us forget what is truly to be looked at. Both views, of what women THINK what men want and what men THINK what women want(and most of them are wrong for both sides). What we both truly want is to be happy and if you can find that connection with someone without giving up who you are you have found the right person you should be with. When you try to change who you are for someone you run down a road to trouble. Later they find out who you really are. No one likes a lie, don’t confuse what I say for the men that truly need to make the change to better their own person for their own self respect. Don’t put up the act, everyone has their own style when it comes to the bedroom, the goal for men should be to find what pleases his woman when having sex and aim for it (this is for those that found the woman that deserves the treatment)

    • Raz says:

      Justaniceguy this article is written by a happily married man. This is a man’s perspective based on ‘his personal success with what worked for him and won him his wife’. Nobody said anything about ‘giving up who you are’. Where did you read that in the article? Nowhere this is something you made up in your head. The article talks about improving yourself. Nobody wants a fat sloppy broke azz ignorant man. No woman wants a loser. If a dude is a loser, then he is not going to be successful with women. Just like men want women who have it going on, women want the same thing.

      But the issue is you men, expect women to ‘take you as you are’, no matter how despicable and be happy. Which is what you mean about ‘giving up who you are’. In that case, losers should stick with losers. But see dudes who have nothing going on for themselves, always try to date out of their league. They could be 3’s trying to go for 10’s. If you’re too ‘stupid and proud and lazy to be motivated to improve yourself to attract women, then you don’t deserve a woman. It’s the same principle as job hunting. Do you expect an employer to just accept you as you are? Of course not, you put your best foot forward. If you know you need to educate yourself, learn new skills in order to be competitive in the job market then you do that.

      Same thing with dating.You can’t be a trifling no game having loser, walking around talking about ‘women should just accept you as you are. If your finances, and body are jacked up and your attitude is fonky and you have no sex appeal, then you are a loser with women. Perhaps you should date men who would accept you as you are.

      • Justaniceguy says:

        I get accepted for who I am all the time. that’s cause I groom myself all the time, it’s apart of who I am. Some men don’t and they get women looking as much as they put into themselves. I don’t go looking for tens as you say, my attraction is different and so is my definition of beauty. But I still go for women I concider nice looking but also with a brain. I don’t need to be a playa a Mach or any of that other crap I define myself and I’ll find a girl my own way. The way a real man would. Your view is cut and dry and offensive. And there is no real reason for you to lash out and tell me to date men. If you feel you must offend me to hurt me then maybe it’s because you yourself have found a alpha-male and wish to pour shit on him to bring him down to your level. Well bravo moron way to prove I don’t have to read all your crap to see in between the line of this whole nonsense you are trying to exsult

        • Raz says:

          Justaniceguy: “I don’t need to be a playa a Mach or any of that other crap“.

          Justaniceguy should be Justacan’tread. It amazes me how little reading comprehension skills males display in cyberspace. Nowhere in Rom’s article did he advocate for men to behave like playa’s towards women. But silly dumb guys who have low level reading comprehension skills and lack the ability to make inferences and higher order thinking skills sum up that entire article as though this man who is happily married is telling other men to behave like playas and to mack on women in order to be successful. Of course you can’t read through anything, you can’t even read this article and comprehend it, much less try to come to a conclusion about my posts. Go back to grade school and learn to read what you see, and not what you think you see.

  5. Rom says:

    Wow, this article is still around and there are still men who don’t get the point.

    Fellas, it’s really simple, women go for the men who can turn them on sexually. A woman has to look at a man and be comfortable with the idea of him on top of her, under her or by the side of the kitchen table. Men who cannot turn on women sexually end up in the friend zone.

    It’s not rocket science and I challenge ANYONE to intelligently prove otherwise.

    • Danta' says:

      That will mean that a woman wants a Sex partner then, that she can live with. To One-Sided. Women don’t Love Playas if they did Women wouldn’t be complaining because each would have what they want from the Playa Man, and Articles like this wouldn’t be written.

      • Many women DO love playas because they are fun and exciting and give up good sex. But women also love nice guys that have a playa edge and give up good sex too. And remember, this article was written in response to men bitching and moaning that women don’t want them; it was not directed at women as you assumed. Women are not complaining about playas. The ones complaining are MEN because they get rejected, passed over and laughed at when they are corny and don’t have any sexual masculinity that draws women like playas do.

        • Rom says:

          @Deborrah,

          You have more patience than I do. Fortunately there are some brothas who get it and who are about developing their masculinity to it’s highest level. keep doing your thing.

          Peace,
          Rom

          • Rom, I could really use one of those brothas right about now. These knuckleheads are wearing me out.

          • Danta' says:

            Rom:

            I read the article many times and Men do not need to do like you say they do in this article. What you described is not masculinity, it’s unrealistic expectations, and wishful thinking.

            Masculinity is more than show. When the playas can Move mountains, take on a whole army and win, and Stand up for his woman, and people in general which he don’t. Many playas run the other way all the time. then I will say you right. But… You ain’t.

        • Danta' says:

          First off thank you for spelling Playa the correct way and using it in the correct context.

          Second give me examples on how a playa is fun and exciting instead of just using those general terms. there’s is no such thing as a playa’s edge if it was every man on the planet would be that way. And many of us ain’t because we know better. would be called being a Con-Artist playa’s main weapon is sweet-talk and that’s it. They know what to say at the right time meaning when they are around you and that alone is enough for sex to happen talkin’ you outta your clothes. But playas are also liars too,and very corny that’s where corny comes from. What trips me out how you can advocate for these knuckleheads that you know ain’t no good, and would not advocate for you at all as you would for them. Most males are playas because this is how the believe they have to be. They put on a show, and it is amazing how women that dig playas favor show, and style over a man having both style and substance. Men complain about women constantly hittin’ the brick wall, when they don’t have to but do it anyway.And when women that like playas don’t notice what’s in front of them. It’s another way of sayin’ that you settling. And that’s what women love? Nice dudes are fun, but since the woman thinks the nice dude is a lame, it is assumed he is no fun because she don’t like him and it’s not the playa, but since it’s a playa he’s automatically fun when he doesn’t do anything fun. And it’s always sexual I thought good sex is when you both are pleasuring each other, Not Just the woman being on the receiving end. Thank you for clairifying for me what women luv about playas, and then complain when the playa is out cheating with someone else and bringing home things that you didn’t ask for.

      • Rom says:

        @Danta, how hard is this? Women want men who have the best qualities of the Nice Guy and Player. Is it too much for a woman to ask a man to treat her with respect outside the bedroom and give multiple orgasms in the bedroom. Men want a lady in public and freak in the bedroom. A man shouldn’t ask for what he can’t give.
        Really though why shouldn’t a man want be able to seen as the MAN on all levels. That’s a true ALPHA Male.

        • Raz says:

          I wish we could multiply Rom and send this true ALPHA male out by the 100, 000 and males like Danta’ I wish they would just go away.

          • Danta' says:

            Raz,

            How are you? Been a long time. Both you and Rom said Alpha Male, I don’t know of any but one. that was both in the NFL and also a Professional wrestler that had the Gimmick of being the Alpha Male. His tag-line was the “The Alpha Male” Monty Brown. Here’s a Clip.
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaTU7whcGi8

            I’m just a Real man. that’s it that’s all.

        • Danta' says:

          Rom:
          Is it too much for a woman to ask that
          Actually it is because you don’t know what you want. you said in the article No cares that you are nice, so how can you ask for something you claim you don’t care about, and get mad when you don’t get it? and if the male is all that for you don’t you have to be the same for him?

          About being Nice, Good Men are nice because we were raised right and are like that with a woman because he respects her he can talk to her and spark a conversation that can be stimulating, lead to more questions from the woman, that can be fun, and put a smile on her face, and his too and lead to more time being spent together. Playas however talk to women about himself, and throw out alot of compliments to a woman which is called Ass-Kissing or Brownosing, again No substance just show. In the Bedroom a Man will treat his woman with respect, and not like a Hoe like a playa always does.If it’s Role-playing, or both of you are into rough or wild-sex that y’all claim nice dudes can’t do then that’s accepetable because both the Man and woman know it’s just that. Playa’s do it because they think this is how they are supposed to address women. A man is into a Woman for all of her physically and mentally, in some cases spiritually too. Playas just want the Ass, Money, & Shelter, while he’s playin’ you with another woman, or many. . Playas call women out their name, I seen it and I know you seen it and heard as well. I seen it done when police were breaking up disputes in my hood’ both
          city and burbs in malls and in clubs. A man that doesn’t do that but walks away, You will call him a punk. Men want a lady that knows what she wants and who she wants and is attracted to him as he is to her. that about being a freak women want a man like that too. But when both Dig each other the freak gonna come out anyway in public and in private. Please make sense when you ask questions. Alpha Male I’m finna explain that to Raz.

          • Rom says:

            Danta,

            I’m deeply disturbed that a man gave the response that you gave. Let me address your statements. First, there’s nothing unrealistic in what I wrote. My peer group consists of men who are the balance of a nice guy and a player. Understand that my peer group consists of men who have advanced degrees, are empowered economically, and are also in top physical shape. My peer group consists of the men who are at the top of the food chain. Isn’t that the commonly accepted definition of an Alpha Male?

            Now you said something about masculinity being more than a show. Well if a man keeps himself in shape, economically empowers himself, and is highly intelligent isn’t that more than a show? The true man is recognized for his superior will power. To stay in shape requires discipline. To rise to the top economically requires mastery over an occupation, business, or craft. To become truly intelligent requires mental discipline, a strong will and mind. Thus if a man is optimally developed it’s real, it’s not something a man can fake over the long term.

            Stop and think.

            Now I notice you keep focusing on “players”. If you READ the article I don’t say a man has to become a player. I have actually counseled players to change their lifestyles. The article is very direct, it tells nice guys how to develop the traits players have that attract women. Most women want a man who can turn them on sexually and yet still be monogamous. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me.

            One issue I’m seeing with you is that you are focused on too focused the negative traits of players and not what I actually wrote. That viewpoint shows that emotion is clouding your vision. Let’s look at my article and see what I actually wrote.

            I start off talking about the main thing that separates the select and non-select: romantic intoxication. In more simple terms it means the men who can turn women on sexually. One thing I’ve noticed in conversations with nice guys is that they can talk about everything they can do for a woman but never talk about or even hint at satisfying her sexually. The only real difference between a nice guy and a player is sex. That’s it! Women want to have sex with the player. They may not want to marry him or even be seen with him in public but they will ride him long into the night.

            Starting from the realization that a woman will use sex to choose or reject a man I then basically tell men how to turn on a woman sexually. First I say that women choose the men. Nice guys lose out becuse they chase after women who do not want them. Any man successful with women will not chase after a woman who has not chosen him. If a woman wants a man she will actively try to seduce him. Just to be clear a woman seduces a man by enticing him to approach her. If she is not doing this she does not want you. Period.

            Second I tell a man to develop his physical appearance. Women check out looks and bodies just like men. Personally I think physical appearance means more to a woman because many men will still deal with a physically unappealing woman but it takes a lot for a woman to do the same.

            Third, I tell men to develop their economic program. Not even so much to get a woman but just to live. Any true man wants to be sovereign and the key to sovereignty in Western culture is money. Not just money but financial freedom. It’s a tough path but every man needs to walk that path.

            Four, I say develop self-respect. Many nice guys let women disrespect them. Women treat them poorly and yet the nice guys will will still put up with crap. Don’t act you don’t know wht I’m talking about.

            Now out of what I wrote what was unrealistic? At no point in the article did I promote dishonesty. I promoted four basic things which has not only worked in my own life but the lives of my peers. The men I have rolled with in the past and now didn’t need to lie to get women. They could be brutally honest and still have a line of women around the block. Women will always go for the top men.

            As I said this isn’t theory. Before I was married I had more women chasing me than I could really handle. Why was that? I didn’t lie or play games. I found it easier to be honest with women. As result I’ve had very little drama in my life. That was back in the day though. I’ve been with my wife for twelve years now. Ten of them married. Now how did I get to this point? Very simple, one I allowed women to choose me and if I was feeling them I chose them back. Two, I kept myself in shape. I used to practically live in a gym so they ladies were feeling my muscles. In more ways than one. Three, I have strived to develop my mind with two advanced degrees and by continuing to self educate myself. My wife and I will go to a bookstore for a date. To reward my sons we take them to the library. Finally, I have NEVER been in any type of relationship with a woman who showed me disrespect.

            I’m not particularly unique. My peer group has always been Black men who are attorneys, business owners, Ph.D’s, community activists, generally outstanding men by anyone’s standards. These men have it going on intellectually but a great many of them will outwork anybody in a gym. One gym I used belong to would have brothas who would discuss business deals in the locker room and then go out on the floor and bench press four hundred pounds. They would then shower and leave the gym in their late model cars. Many of them were family men with beautiful wives.

            You may wonder why I shared all of that with you and whoever will read these comments. Too many men, particularly Black men, live way below their intellectual, and physical potential. Then the same men get mad at the world for their shortcomings. Then when somebody like me comes along a tells them they can strive for more, they tell me I’m being unrealistic. I refuse to accept that. Men like myself have WORKED to develop their minds and bodies to live optimal lives. I spent hours in college and law school libraries, in bookstores, in private study to develop my mind. I spent hours in gyms, running on hard concrete and playing sports to develop my body. I’ve always worked to have integrity in my dealing with people in order to develop my character. As a result of those efforts the women who have found me to be attractive have always been top of the line, both in beauty and intelligence. It’s why my wife is with me and why she wanted to have MY seed.

            You know, many men sit around complaining about their problems with women and yet when someone tells what has been proven to work they reject the information. You mentioned masculinity. The truly masculine man, the Alpha Male, want to be the best. He understands nature isn’t kind to the weak. The world belongs to those who understand nature’s greatest law: survival of the fittest.

            Think on this.

          • Raz says:

            Rom: “You know, many men sit around complaining about their problems with women and yet when someone tells what has been proven to work they reject the information.”

            Rom, don’t waste your time, energy and advice on Danta’ he is an ignorant fool and a troll who pops up from time to time always harping on the same subject. It’s obvious he is not a ‘select’ man because if he were, he wouldn’t be spending so much time talking about it on this blog and he’d be out with the woman who wants him. He’s a loser and unwanted. He gets his thrills coming onto this blog to write nonsensical posts not even worth reading or the server space. I think Ms. Cooper feels sorry for him because she knows he has no outside real life. Po thang. :'(

          • Danta' says:

            To Rom: I hear you, But this article would have more validity if:

            1. You showed yourself in this video, and

            2.If I didn’t grow up around and with Playas but I did.

            That’s why I don’t agree, it worked for you understood, don’t mean every man has to do it, and I ain’t! also you said the True Alpha Male The True Alpha Male is a Male that is just a Perfect Physical Specimen Physical Appearance, and Physical Strength. And is considered Dominant over every Male, Every Male Everywhere! No mention is about How intelligent he is, or mentally strong just physically being appealing and assumed that as he has that he is strong and that’s it.

            Macks and playas are different as I don’t represent any of it but I respect a Mack and not the 1970’s representation of one. A True mack has all of what you describe is and tells the truth about what he does, and who he’s with, A playa lies, and Fronts and it’s a Shame when you got dudes commin’ up to you that’s younger than you tellin’ you this is what you gotta do, cuz they go for it, This happened to me when I spoke to a dude I knew that was younger. Why Women wanna keep buying the Brooklyn Bridge? and Why do you wanna keep sellin’ it to em’?

            Another thing when you say women look at the appearance of a man, that’s true but I’ve seen broken down men, and Knuckleheads pull very attractive women, where those same women have passed over men that would be considered Alpha Males, or In shape Dudes. They don’t spend a second working out in the gym or anywhere else but got the best lookin’ women so-to-speak. A woman gives the “elevator” look She looks at your shoes and hair that’s it if they kept up she may consider talking to you, You can be a Physical Adonis, but if your hair and shoes ain’t right she ain’t speaking That is a Fact. and You also talk about sexual masculinity, You can say sexual appeal that will get a woman interested, and a woman knows within 5 seconds of meeting a man if something is gonna happen or not, It’s still her choice and her choice to find out that sexual masculinity because that’s the only way she will find out if he can or can’t if she says yes. Going back to physical appearance You can be in the Gym all you want It’s in the field where it counts. It’s many people that’s in the gym that got the physical appearance that cannot Run a Mile or a Block, or lift anything as heavy as a chair. But they look physically appealing. Goin’ to the Playa If you talked about the Pros of a playa like knowing what to say at the right time, and how to dress that’s cool, But you didn’t. Mostly all players are deceitful they lie, and they play, where do you think The Word scrubs, Punks, Corny, Dogs and DL come from, and how women identify them? Playas. No woman wants to be with these men for long they just bring the illusion of fun, and havin’ the so-called wild sex they claim Nice dudes can’t do. I grew up with dudes that was cool, then they started to bang and sell drugs then the women started noticing them. I say what up to them, they act like they didn’t know me. That’s phonny and that’s what playas bring.

            If women want to do it right Go to Europe where Sistas are being treated like Royalty,or Better a Goddess and not a piece. Like in the states. Most women that get involved with playas always complain about how no good he is, and taking playas to Court. You didn’t mention a playa is faithful, and you won’t cuz they ain’t. or that a playa does not clean up where he lives usually with his woman, or many women, or his mother and he don’t he just talk his way out of doing it.
            Plus I seen come to my old hood all the time females that think they in the playa world cuz they in the hood, and it’s exciting. It would be one to 5 females walkin’ with about 8 to 10 dudes back to whoever crib to do something stupid and don’t have a smile on their face, because they know they finna get disrespected in every way possible but it’s excitin’. and women in they 30’s to 40’s messin’ with knuckleheads or yung playa’s in the late teens and early 20’s like they did back in the day Hittin’ that brick wall. And it’s a shame when young girls think this how a man got to be what a man represents. 2 females came to my spot for the person that lived above me, but rung my doorbell! They knew who they was lookin’ for but didn’t know where he lived, must be that sense of adventure. It was women that told me I should be more mean, what for? I’m not gonna be on anything stupid, and lie to my woman, or curse her out to satisfy what she think a man is or to turn her on. I was raised right. You talk about Nature not being kind to weak, it ain’t kind to the strong either more strong are gone than the weak, Nature is kind to those that bond with it. You talk intelligence it’s more than being able to spout big words, and know what’s goin’ on, and having a degree. You gotta be able to solve,and resolve things, as well be aware of your environment. Good you take your kids to the library I wish more parents would do that, or better yet read to them at home. All of what you talked about is about Attraction, not Making a Life for yourself, and the people you know. It shouldn’t take all that for you and who you hang with to do the right thing, let alone make a life for yourself. Everything of what you talked about in this article does not apply to any other culture with Men, all of what you talked is considered in other cultures of a man providing for himself and his family, a man that cares about himself that’s why he stays healthy, and run, and lift outside the gym,. It’s a shame that this only Applies to the Black folk. If it is that way Survival of the fittest then it would be true of all cultures, Remember the Roman Empire?, The English Rule? I can go on all those Nations had what? Strength. the most powerful in the world and they all crumbled, How’s that for survival of the fittest?

            Let’s Just say we agree to disagree.

  6. Amazing. says:

    No self-respecting man wants to be with a woman who sees men the way this poor excuse for an article acts like they should.

    • Raz says:

      Amazing: “No self-respecting man wants to be with a woman who sees men the way this poor excuse for an article acts like they should.”

      No self-respecting woman wants to be with a man who doesn’t exude the qualities/traits this article talks about. Women want men who have the total package and who turns them on. Any man who can’t fulfill the basics which is what this article talks about, is an ‘amazing loser’.

      • Danta' says:

        Yeah very true Raz, But he’s still not a Player, He’s a Playa.

        Macks have the total package get it right Raz!

      • Danta' says:

        Raz and to all others that read this article.

        Raz you responded back to a woman wants the whole package, again that is called a Mack,
        A man that will can turn his woman on, and be
        there for her Sexually, Financially, and emotionally. And again The Mack is honest about
        what he does and who he is with.

        Mack’s also hold the distinction of doing what playas, moochers,sweet-talkers, and con-artist and your precious thugs and the dude in this video don’t:

        Macks tell the Truth. And Macks also hold the distinction of Talking about something and then doing it. The Dude in this video is a sweet-talker he got the clothes, the look, and the words but he don’t look honest, and it looks like he’s deceitful. Macks dress to represent themsselves and comfortably, not to impress or floss, and again Macks talk about something to their women, and then do it whether it’s goin’ out somewhere, or helping her with housework a Mack is honest and he is also honest to the woman he is with and honest to the women about being with them too. That way it is the woman’s choice whether she wants to be with him or not. All Drama and stupidity is avoided and all can have what they want and need from the Mack.

        And a Mack is a Regular Down the earth Dude that knows what he want out of life, going to school, work, etc. And who he wants. or how many but he is honest and honest to the women.

        So when you write articles like this no difference between a Mack, and a Playa. Nuff said. Pass the knowledge along if it’s not a problem. and Drop all the insults Raz I told you that you can view my profile on facebook. then after that eat your words with crow. Thank you.

        Love,

        Danta’

        • To label a man that is truthful honest and pleases his woman some nasty “mack” shows that your mentality is less than intelligent.

          Your implication is that such a man cannot possibly have the traits a woman seeks and also be a committed father, a husband, a lover with the honor and character to maintain fidelity to his woman of choice is ludicrous.

          You are so wrong on so many levels its almost painful to read your stupidity. Your thinking about women, love and relationships is violently twisted. Your words make it sound like men are so narrow in scope, so limited in abilities, so one-dimensional that a man can only be one or the other – a player, a mack or a thug. LOL!

          You insult men of depth and quality so badly with your post that there is nothing for women to add that can insult men any more than you have done. And you attempt to position yourself like you are so smart and such an authority on what “men think.”

          Wow.

          I hope some of the truly intelligent fellas that visit this board come by and blow your hair back. I’m gonna sit back with my popcorn and watch the carnage take place.

          • Danta' says:

            Deborrah,

            Mack is just slang. That’s all But that’s what a Mack possesses and Defines. Macks are also committed Husbands and Father’s too because they are with one woman the woman he want, and the woman that wants him. You said in a Blog a while back that you okay deceit as long as you’re getting what you want, what would you rather be alone and right? or be happy. How you came up with that logic doesn’t make any sense. That’s not my thinking but how relationships and, contact have been displayed, written about on this site etc., how sistas engage with brothas and vice-versa have been made to be. I thought you like the nastiest dudes because he knows how to screw so how is a Mack nasty? How can he be if he isn’t doing anything???? or Going after every woman he Sees? A Mack goes after who he wants or let’s her come to him he doesn’t go after every woman playas, knuckleheads, and No good men do. You blasted nice dudes, single dudes, hard-working dudes, and now macks, you also blasted Husbands, and Fathers Do you even know what you are talking about? or better yet, what you want? How do you think I felt when you were advocating for the no-goods? Men have to be like this because of the way the game is played which involves people that have game, and people that have no game. I thought you didn’t like character you already expressed your views on what a man supposed to be which you don’t know. It amazes me how you can advocate for a knucklehead, or a man developing that player edge that women love which usually involves deceit, and other problems. But you blast a Mack for being honest about what he does, and what he wants? That’s fascinating. Again The Word Mack is just slang it’s the characteristics that make a Mack when meeting and dating women that can also be found in a loving father and a husband. I know if one Real Dude that has Mack qualities comes at you, you would be all over him because he not only represents what you want, he is what you want. Me I’m not a Mack I respect what a Mack is and the philosophy as well as a Pimps, and definitely not the clips you showed as an example how men can be chosen by women. I have character, and good qualities. You also had a Blog about exposing the Black male privelidge and you did not write anything about Black males having those traits that women want in that Blog as being a good husband or father or committed man. and also why Black women should stop having children but never speak about Good Black men that would be good fathers and husbands. Tooooooo Contradictory. And you didn’t argue about Macks being truthful, why? again why advocate for the playa? That’s nothing of what a Mack, or a Real Dude is. It was written on this article of what a man needs to be in a very negative and selfish context and what he needs to do, that’s hurtful!!!! and opposite of what a Mack and a Real Dude is, Neither one has to do any of what’s described on here a Mack just like a Real Dude is himself all the time, and again is honest if both manage to date and have many women more power to them. But instead of goin’ in on me re-read all your articles and my responses and know I’m just educating and doing what I can to make sure you and the women on here don’t go for oke-doke. I’ve lost many female friends from losing their life, and their life-ending because they want the so-called excitement of what a playa, or the “Edge” men you write about need to have. Now you speak about Husbands and Father’s Your Double-Talking skills ain’t as good as Raz’s and it doesn’t help anything. And I don’t want to keep seeing that happen, which is gotten wayyyy outta control, I can name some women I knew personally and women that came under me as far as age go that have experienced the dark-side of relationships that ain’t been the same or are no longer here as a result. And I I do things before things like that happen. whether sistas, the brothers one here or you feel me or not, You know that what I wrote makes sense.

          • Dude, you have no skills of value to the women that are on this site. You take words I say out of context and twist them around to have a totally different implication than the one I wrote. I have no need to ever double-talk – I speak very plainly and very clearly about everything. If you don’t understand it, that’s your problem, not mine. What you wrote makes no sense at all, and you write too damn much of it. Who do you think has time to sit here and read all that drivel?

          • Danta' says:

            Hello Deborrah,

            Dudette,
            You’ve taken alot of what I said outta context since me being on here,and I educated you on a few things as well epecially on the real meaning of being “Hood”. and you did double talked when you responded to what I said about women not being able to insult men on here anymore, I wrote that about a mack so people know what a mack is in a dating sense, not marriage, or family in response “To women wanting the whole package”. as well as a pimp and why the knuckleheads now have those pimp, simp, and punk traits and don’t know where it came from. I don’t advocate any of it. being a Mack except to learn it as women can learn it too so they have insight on what to be aware of out there as far as dating, and having sex goes. I definitely don’t advocate for a Pimp, or these knuckleheads or for a man to be one. You said I was smart, I’m not smart or an authority could be if I didn’t see and experience first-hand what I’m talkin’ about. but I have insight there is a difference. from where I came from, seen, and can back it up, and then reading books that reinforce it, and talking with “Real Pimps” and Macks as I have done personally. You said it was Drivel, but you can’t argue that it’s nonsense. You Talk about the knuckleheads that’s visually appealing with six-pack but it’s always visual and for sex. I look like that too, but I can pick up a Broom,a mop, Cook, and go to work, me be able to do that You ask? It comes from being from “The Hood”. How come the Playas, “Hood-Hardcore” Street Dudes that know the latest dances and “Put it Down” in the bedroom and the ones with the “Edge” can’t? I use my insight I have to educate, and discredit nuff said.

          • Raz says:

            Deborrah:”You are so wrong on so many levels its almost painful to read your stupidity”

            Why do you even bother, I stopped reading his stupidity a long time ago. All those old long azz posts not even reader friendly. Doesn’t he know what a paragraph looks like? Isn’t he just taking up unnecessary server space posting all of his tripe?

          • Danta' says:

            Uhm… Yeah Raz what you said, I write in many styles it’s reader friendly otherwise you wouldn’t’ve responded back as you did so many times before you stopped reading my posts.

            Variation on writing. Short and to the point.

            Love,

            Danta’

        • Raz says:

          Danta’ will you get lost, dang! nobody wants to read or even listen to anything you have to say. You make no sense and who asked for your explanation to what I wrote? I certainly didn’t. I don’t need you to explain what mack is and any of that. Obviously you ain’t macking or getting anything since you have time to be in cyberspace writing long azz replies instead of getting out there getting your ‘mack’ on with a honey.

          • Danta' says:

            Hey Raz,

            Isn’t Tripe a part of beef? I haven’t been on here in weeks, shows how much you know.

            Paragraph, Did I do that? Yes I did. I went to the women’s too, to clarify some stuff, But I thought this section was for men, That’s why I’m on here and this section is supposed to be for men as far as advice and tips go, but it blasts the males that do the things they shouldn’t as it should, and Blasts the Men that are good men as far as character goes, and don’t be apart of the madness, which makes no sense.

            You said you didn’t need an explanation but the “Whole package” you claimed to write about or any of that you did not say a good man, or a Mack so you did need one, to know what you were talking about because a Man, as well as a Mack is not a Player unless he Run’s or owns a Business, an invention or a company same goes for Women too.

            Whoa another Paragraph and you say macking on a honey, I mack to women. Mackin’ is more than speakin’ it’s also being proactive, and acting not just to get a woman and when you got a woman you stop it’s ongoing. But being a genuine person No Fronts, or swagger here. and it works when I mack, been on a few dates too. I Just be on here when I’m at work. Other than that thank you for your outwritten, not outspoken comments because I don’t know what you sound like. More Power to you Raz. Told you to check my profile on facebook. ah well.

  7. Danta' says:

    To Once again educate women on the word Player. It was
    said on here that the word Player has been used since the 60’s
    Wrong:

    I tried to say this but forgot as I wrote other things to educate both men and women reading these Blogs. The word Player has been around since the early 1930’s possibly before the depression. It had a
    word in front of it “Murphy” which comes from Murphy’s Law, Murphy Players were what is today known as Con-Artists and Moochers.

    Murphy Players would play on a man or a woman’s confidence and do what ever they had to get anything out of them especially get money hince the word “Player” they used everything from their mouthpiece ,fake badges and suits, and sometimes violence (mainly on women) to control people. White men used to prey on women with money that were heiresses, or widowed that just wanted sex, and no ties, but control. The game was flipped by white dudes sweet-talking them out of money and doing things like going to lavish cities in the U.S. and Overseas to find these women. becoming Gigalos, or Kept by their wealthy Piece(Wealthy white women). Hince the word Player on running businesses, controlling them, and using that money he got from wealthy women to Buy condos or Homes, or Mansions for himself. he doesn’t lay up under her he comes and goes when needed gives her sex,companionship, and attention he gets money stacks it up and gets what’s needed for himself but He’s honest about it, and the woman knows what’s she’s gettin’ into and out of it. and then he moves on to another woman. What y’all talkin’ is the Low level, of basic Mooching.

    What women want is a Ladies Man or what is called a Mack that will be there for all women’s needs be it finacially, emotionally, and Sexually, and still he’s honest about it whether he has one or many women he’s honest about it.

    Read the Books;
    Pimp
    The Art of Mackin’
    Play or Be Played
    Or spend some time In Chicago, Detroit, or Europe where alot of this originated from. L.A. too from Filmore Slim and the pimps that came under him no such thing as Players unless your name is Donald Trump or Michael Forbes The Playa is the new version of a Con-Artist or a Chameleon by what they find out about you, your likes, dislikes, passions, dreams that’s what they become for you they become the man, or woman of your dreams without you knowing who they really are.

    Now that y’all know the truth, Please don’t believe the hype. Let me educate that’s all I ask.

  8. Alfred says:

    with the idea that her love could tame the untamable. This is the ultimate high for her. These overly aggressive males whether its their macho attitude or money gives the illusion of power and taming this power by getting him to desire her is her way filling her own inner insecurity. She thinks this makes her powerful and valuable. Winning this man will maker her envy of all her friends.

    Truth of the matter, those types of men never give themselves to one woman and usually never experience true love and real bonding. Why? Because he knows that at that point he will loose her respect. Yeah, the select man gets lots of sex but doesn’t experience what it is like to truly love someone and be vulnerable to them – For he is knows that once she is aware that his heart has been conquered, the game is over and she looses respect for him and he will be considered a conquered “weak” man. Hence, the “player” is born…

    This is why she seeks what she cannot tame because it’s like chasing the end of a rainbow. It is the chase not the actual getting there that is the excitement. This is the emotional high.

    They condemn each other to a vain superficial life. They never experience the power of true love that is divine and the ultimate high.

    You see, this man she seeks and herself have a lot in common. Vanity…..

    Alfred

    • Raz says:

      Al:“Truth of the matter, those types of men never give themselves to one woman and usually never experience true love and real bonding. Why? Because he knows that at that point he will loose her respect. Yeah, the select man gets lots of sex but doesn’t experience what it is like to truly love someone and be vulnerable to them – For he is knows that once she is aware that his heart has been conquered, the game is over and she looses respect for him and he will be considered a conquered “weak” man. Hence, the “player” is born…”

      And you know this how? Men can have select traits and still be honorable men. What is with these non-select men who think all women want are players. If she won’t settle for a wimp, then she must want a player. I get so sick of men thinking it’s either or. Obviously you’re not in the select men group, because if you were, you wouldn’t be putting down that group, and you would know better than what you’re talking about. Men who are in the select group don’t have to be playas. But men who are not in the ‘select group’, will claim that these men are dogs and playas in order to boost up their own egos for not possessing the traits that women find attractive. You know how it goes. When one can’t get something, they’ll convince themselves that they didn’t really want it in the first place and start to discredit it. Usually because they’re jealous they don’t have the traits they secretly admire. Having select traits isn’t about how many women you can have sex, the fact that this is all you’re focusing on, kinda tells me that this is all you care about, and that your reading comprehension skills and ability to make critical inferences are sadly lacking. Women do like men who can read and comprehend. That is a select trait.

      • NewAgnostic says:

        And lets not forget that almost all of these guys in the “non-select” category (who also complain about no woman wanting them) would NEVER consider dating their female counterpart! These guys NEVER want to date a “plain jane” or a “geeky girl”. These guys act as if only men are allowed or expected to have standards when it comes to attraction.

  9. Al says:

    Everything the article says is true as far as attracting a woman but what are the consequences of such? When a non-select starts to behave as a select it will not only be in just appearance but it will be an inner change too.

    He will become that man that cannot give you what really matters because the select male (money wise or physically ambitious) and the non-select (nice guy not the slob) male have opposing views of women. The man that the article says will turn a woman on will never truly be a man that loves her because he has now become ambitious and the thing about ambition is that it can never be satisfied. Do you see why he will want more than one woman?

    If he is ambitious enough to do what most women say will turn them on then she gets a double edged sword because she no longer is what can satisfy him. The acquisition of body image and money (success) are most commonly found in egotistical men. Egotistical men need constant reaffirmation of themselves from different sources and not just the same one over and over again. The woman may be intoxicated by him but she will never truly have him mind, body, and soul because his ego cannot be satisfied by her love and/or attention alone. Hence the player is born.

    His ego demands more (ambition), nicer car, a bigger house, a more attractive woman, and a better job to finance his new conquests. He is never satisfied.

    On the other hand, a man that loves a woman tries to please her and that is misconstrued by women as weak. Love makes you vulnerable to someone so how can she say that she doesn’t want to see a man vulnerable to her but that she wants his love. This is a CONTRADICTION. The two cannot coexist. This is a distorted view of what a man should be on the part of women.

    When someone loves you it is possible to take advantage of them but if you love and respect them back you will not violate that vulnerability. This is the mind of the “nice” guy. When a man manifests this, she then calls him weak …

    Take it from a man…..
    The behavior of a select male does NOT truly view women as human beings but rather objects of exploitation (trophies, just another accomplishment) and so he grows bored with her this is why he is not truly vulnerable to her and so he has no problem with not being a so called “wimp” and putting her in “check”.

    This is why so called “select” males are almost always womanizers too…

    All in all I will admit that the non-select male can improve his self-confidence in knowing that his worth should NOT be defined by so many superficial women.

    This is why the majority of women will never find true love and a real soul mate. They will have to settle for Tyler Perry movies, chocolate, and clothing store charge account to fill her emptiness.

    I love this websites by the way… Thought provoking.

    Alfred

    • Raz says:

      Al It never ceases to amaze me the lies people tell themselves to convince themselves to ‘accept their lot in life. They make excuses and look to blame everybody else EXCEPT themselves for their failure to do something. In this case, Al you’re using some flawed reasoning to attempt to justify why you may not be in the ‘select group’. You attempt to discredit men who are in the select group by lumping them all in the category of womanizers and players, and as such, they objectify women and cannot truly love a woman. Women who go for men in the select group, can never know love with these men because the power they have as a ‘select male’ has corrupted them and gone to their head and made them truly shallow’.

      Using this same type of BS logic, you say men who are in the non-select group, are ‘misunderstood and their actions of ‘loving ‘ a woman gets misconstrued and they are seen as weak. So men in the non-select group are ‘victims‘ of the women who pass them over looking at men in the select group. I wonder do you realize how much of a wimp you sound. Wimpy behavior is not viewed by women as a masculine trait. Women like assertive confident men. Men like you come off as bitter, pitiful and full of excuses to justify your inability to attract a woman you want. It’s the woman’s fault that she doesn’t ‘appreciate you’. Hey why can’t it be your fault that you lack the masculine traits that women find attractive to draw a woman to you from the ‘select group’. That’s your job to draw women to you. You expect a woman to look all over that wimpyness and want you anyway. However I’m quite sure you’d want a woman who was attractive, charismatic, sexy, all of the traits in a select group of women. Men always want to date up, and always want a woman to ‘accept ‘down’ without them having to put in any type of work to improve themselves so they can be in the ‘select group’. A woman doesn’t want some unattractive man with the traits of someone in the ‘non-select group’, loving her and trying to please her. That is a man who is setting himself up to be walked all over. Women, want men who turn them on, just like men want women who turn them on. Stop making excuses for men who are not in the select group and condemning those who ‘have it going on and are in the Select Group’. Stop hating on the ‘Select Men’. lol

  10. Rich says:

    Was Jesus a nice man or a good man? Does anyone know the difference?

  11. Danta' says:

    If you look in the Dictionary a Player is someone who is active in Sports, and in the Business world. You can say sweet-talker, memorizer but Don’t say player.

    • Raz says:

      Dante: “If you look in the Dictionary a Player is someone who is active in Sports, and in the Business world. You can say sweet-talker, memorizer but Don’t say player.”

      There’s also the ‘urban dictionary too. Webster defines the word, as ‘one who plays a game’ It doesn’t define what the ‘game’ is and it isn’t restricted to ‘sports’. I guess you’re right, you are an ‘edumuncated’ black man after all as you’ve said in a previous post. lol

    • Anyone of intelligence and that has been exposed to the bigger world knows what the term “player” means when speaking in a romantic, dating sense. You must be using an old-school White Folks dictionary that doesn’t even have words like “booty” in it. SMH.

      Check out these links that have the real interpretation of the modern usage of words. By the way, referring to someone that dates multiple people for what they can get out of them (player) has been used since the 1960s.

      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=player
      http://www.ehow.com/about_5401806_definition-player-dating.html
      http://becomeaplayer.com/articles/definition.htm

      • Raz says:

        Deborrah: “Anyone of intelligence and that has been exposed to the bigger world knows what the term “player” means when speaking in a romantic, dating sense”

        The key phrase is ‘Anyone of intelligence’. As you can see from Danta’s comments posted, ‘intelligence‘ is not exactly part of his mental makeup.

        • Danta' says:

          At Raz & Deborrah; Uhm.. Yeah what y’all said. Again the word is Playa don’t none of these Dudes Run or Own anything. If they did they would be Players and they ain’t. I don’t need to read those links because I came up like this y’all basing this off Not Real Pimps, or Real Playas I from where this Started; Chicago Ice Berg Slim, Bishop Magic Don Juan, Reverend C’Mo, William “Flukey” Stokes, Mr. Whitefolks, Do your homework! ya’ll just got up on this less than 15 years ago! And Deborrah you’re right it is from White Folks that Run and Own stuff that’s a Player! again you can say Sweet-talker, Con-Artist, Mesmorizer, but not Player. Get the Hood-Movie, and popular Rapper terminology out of your head! like y’alls said any one of Intelligence can understand that, but answer me how those of intelligence such as yourselves make bad decisions when it comes to men? Shake my head! Raz I said that to make a point these are the kind of guys that have excitement, adventure, action, swag, those the kind of guys y’all want Right? the difference is those guys had money,wisdom,intelligence, they did what they said and they helped people! but the closest thing you can get to reality is these Knuckleheads because they bring the image of all that, Can’t actually do it, but the thought of it is there and y’all go for it all the time! cuz they look like it and promise it and never deliver on it, they Gotta word for that In Chicago it’s called Masturbation. So ya’ll keep doin’ that, keep advocating for the knucklehead not to change and be a better man for you and himself, and Keep hittin’ that Brick wall like y’all been doin’ at Light speed.

      • Danta' says:

        To Deborrah;

        I was Using Urban the way the Word actually is meaning City. Urban Don’t mean Black, never did. that’s just something ignorant folk of all background chose as a label. and just outta curiosity the links that you posted did they come From a Professional Black Man? You know the ones you bashing on here?

  12. Danta' says:

    Too One-sided I’m sorry my name ain’t Banacek, James Bond, Columbo, Shaft or these any other Type of “Mystery Men” Kickin’ 50+. all refined and world “Da Fied” and the women Just gotta get a piece because he takes no Guff, He strong, he Drinks Milk outta of a Dirty Glass, No one understands him but his woman, and everything he says sweeps her off her feet. Maybe in about another 25 years.

    • Raz says:

      Danta: “’m sorry my name ain’t Banacek, James Bond, Columbo, Shaft or these any other Type of “Mystery Men” Kickin’ 50+. all refined and world “Da Fied” and the women Just gotta get a piece”

      Put down the remote and step away from the TV. Real life ain’t TV lol. Read some books and stop basing real life on television. lol.

  13. TRG says:

    I like the nice guy, I just require that the nice guy be a real man! Not let me be the leader in everything. Its not always the looks, its how a man treats you. For example I met a really nice man, educated, handsome, had money but was a WIMP. I just wonder what happened to the man being the man??? That’s all

  14. CDF says:

    Mix this in with the other “nice guy” article, and you’d have a more, rounded piece…and would wholeheartedly agree on all counts!

    I see you over there, “Raz”…

    ;}

    • You can read both articles, much more easily than I can get two different authors to collaborate and come up with one article. Anyway, its not to my advantage to do that. The site gets more page views and better traffic when we separate thoughts and concepts, allowing each author to express their own viewpoints thoroughly.

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