Husband Having Inappropriate Relationship With Adopted Teen Daughter

| 08/07/2012 | Comments (1)


Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I know you usually write about singles dating issues, but I have a really uncomfortable situation that I need your help with. I can’t imagine anyone that would tell it to me straighter and with more insight than you. So here goes:

My husband has an adoptive 16 year old daughter from his first marriage who overnights frequently with us. They have developed the habit of staying up until 12:30-1:00 a.m. My husband is not working right now, and I have to get up really early for work. When she is over I go to bed, but around 10 p.m., I waken frequently. The living room is directly on the other side of the master bedroom wall. I wake up to hear voices, giggling, the tv, the music system and so forth.

I really do not know what they are doing. Then my husband comes to bed at 12:30 or 1:00 a.m. and all of a sudden wants to wake me up to have a sex session. After being alone in bed I am not inclined to follow suit to these sessions. May, I state this teenager has definitely exhibited some daddy time demands on our marriage to the point of telling me I need to sit in the back seat of the car so she can sit next to “daddy.”  She is also rude and disrespectful towards me, and I do not have my husbands support, this is a point of contention.

Right now I am at work and I am sure he is taking her shopping and out to lunch, while I come home to a messy house, where breakfast dishes are still in the sink. I resent all this and have told him I refuse to clean up after her, while she treats our home like a hotel. How should I handle this situation?

Pissed Wife

Dear Pissed:
Oh boy! I would have such a world class field day fucking with their heads that it would be just as exciting to me as Gabby Douglas winning the Gold!

Step One – You need to remind this little beyatch that she is the child and you are the wife. She seems to have her role twisted and her mind is screwed up. Get in her face if you have to, and dare her to put her hands on you since its your house and she will be thrown out of it by the police if necessary.l

Step Two – The very next time they make all that noise in the middle of the night you are to get up, go into the living room, and unplug everything. If they say a word pick up the nearest metal or wooden object and throw it through the television screen and break it. That will teach them! Leave the glass and whatever other mess is made there for them to clean up. After you do that tell them “I said STFU you inconsiderate freaks. Somebody has to get up to go to work in the morning to support both of you lazy a$$holes. The least you could do is let me sleep.” Then march off and go get in the bed.

Step Three – Remind your trifling husband that he is married to you, not this child. Before he gets defensive and starts saying that you are trippin’, tell him that she acts more like a jealous girlfriend than a daughter, and it is raising a lot of questions in your mind. Tell him that you’ve been reading a book at work about child molestation and incest. Tell him his behavior is inappropriately sexual and leads you to wonder if there is an inappropriate relationship there of a nature that would require police intervention.  Tell him you’d hate to see him go to jail, but since he isn’t working anyway its not like he would be missed. Keep in mind you don’t have to prove any of this, just tell him you are suspicious and that alone will make him scared.

Step Four – Open a separate bank account under only your name so that he cannot spend your money shopping for this heffa or wasting it on anything else to make her disrespectful ass happy. Have your paycheck sent there. Use your work address so that no statements and no checks are laying about the house. Keep only about $200 in the joint account and everything else in your name in the new account until he gets a job.  You don’t want to make it look like you don’t care if he eats or not, and that way if he chooses to spend it on buying her trinkets then he’ll just lose a few pounds to make up for it until his next allowance check.

Step Five –  Eat dinner before you come home from work. Every day stop and get something to eat. Don’t shop for groceries and don’t cook anything for at least a week. If they want food in the house tell your husband and his daughter to get a job and make it happen. Tell them you’ve been at work all day and already ate and are not hungry. Do that for a week or two or three. And while you are at it, let the house look like shit. Do not clean anything. Don’t touch the vacuum cleaner. Don’t say a word to either of them about it, just act like its perfectly normal for the house to look a hot mess. Wash no laundry but your own, no dishes but those you use.

This is just a sample of the Deborrah Cooper Let Me Show You Who is the Real Muhfugga Around Here program!

Those two party animals will soon get the message that you are serious and they better start listening. Talk is cheap. As you can see, using all those words isn’t getting you anywhere in your own house. You must take ACTION girlfriend and stop saying a word to either of them. Stop talking except to bark orders and lay down the law. They have demonstrated that don’t really give a shit about what you say, but they will definitely care about what you do!

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Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."

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  1. afropick1 says:

    this response is HIGHLY DISRESPECTFUL to the Man in the house and would not be tolerated in my home

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