Is he losing interest, or am I just paranoid?

| 10/12/2011 | Comments (0)


Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I’ve been dating this guy for a month and it’s been amazing! Literally the best relationship I’ve had thus far and its only just started so I have very high hopes for it. He definitely feels the same way towards me, at least that’s what he says…pretty explicitly. But for some reason, perhaps just because Ive been hurt so much in the past, I’m nervous that things are “slowing down.”

We were talking the other day and he said he doesn’t wanna rush into anything, that he has really strong feelings for me but he likes the way things are going and doesn’t wanna rush — what does this mean? I don’t wanna rush into “I love you’s” and stuff like that either, is this what he could mean?

Also, when we first started seeing each other, we saw each other everyday,  he’d send me little texts saying cute things, and now he doesn’t really do that. We still talk everyday and see each other at least twice a week…am I being neurotic? I know hes busy with work lately and perhaps I’m reading too much into all this but I don’t know.

Totally Confused

Dear Totally Confused:
When a man was going full force then starts back pedaling, it does mean things are slowing down. He is slowing things down as far as commitment goes, because he doesn’t wanna be tied down and locked down. At least not to you. That is what it means.

See, they go full frontal attack as long as they are trying to conquer a new woman and get into her pants. But as soon as they satisfy their curiosity about sex with you, they can clear their big head and assess you from other angles. Instead of moving closer, they start the retreat, which is what he is doing.

So this is what YOU do:

#1 Stop calling him.
#2 Stop texting him.
#3 Do not sleep with him ever again.
#4 When he asks why say “well, my way of slowing things down is to not have sex with a man that doesn’t want to rush into anything. I don’t want to rush and get my feelings hurt. I thought you would understand that.”

Anytime a man’s pattern changes and he begins to distance himself, it means something. A woman’s best response is to not say a word, just SHOW HIM that he will get the distance and space he asked for.

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Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."

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