Is He Using You?
You told him that you loved him and would do anything for him; but now it seems you’re doing EVERYTHING for him, including his laundry and chauffeuring him around. It’s gotten so bad that your friends jokingly refer to him as “Miss Daisy” behind your back. How did you get here?
Despite what you’ve been led to believe about relationships, it is possible to do too much for your guy. Are you always doing for him, but he can barely give you the time of day? You need to re-adjust your giving accordingly!
Here are five points to consider if you are starting to question his motives for dating you:
1. Are You His Personal ATM?
He is always a little short on cash, so you find yourself paying for all dating activities. You bought his Mom a birthday gift and card, and signed his name. Then you filled up the tank in his car. There should be clear boundaries between a girlfriend and a Sugar Mama. If you’re paying for everything, and he is constantly using your financial assets without contributing any of his own, you’re paying him to be with you.
2. Does He Call You?
When a man is really into you, he wants to hear your voice often. He will call during the day just to touch base and see what you are doing. Texting does not count. If you are forever hunting him down or waiting hours (or days) for him to call you back while he “handles his business” you are not a priority in his world.
3. Is He Always Asking For a Favor?
“Pick me up!” “Can ya loan me $20?” You find yourself washing his clothes, cleaning his room, and researching then typing his school papers. Be aware that some guys will stick around for the convenience and goodies you offer, though they’re not truly interested in you.
4. Three’s a Crowd
Your relationship has 3 people in it – you, him and his (alleged) ex. He claims that he loves you, so why does he insist on talking to and spending time with HER? If this describes your relationship, you are the rebound Band-Aid to a guy that is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. You’re in emotional quicksand. Save yourself!
5. Intimacy is Lacking
You find yourself hungering for signs of affection like hand holding and hugs. He claims he’s not into that stuff. When you two are alone he is like an octopus, touching you everywhere! But in public or around his friends you feel like a stranger, as he barely acknowledges your existence. If he’s keeping you around for his sexual convenience, it’s time to bounce!
Smart girls know that to be fully satisfying, relationships must be mutually rewarding, not one-sided. A guy that is truly loving treats you with respect. He also reciprocates caring gestures as you give to and take care of each other.
When deeply in love, it can be easy to blur healthy boundaries. But being in love doesn’t mean being a fool for a user. It’s not about being “nice” – it’s about being smart!
Category: Women's Issues