Ladies, Stop Giving Vajayjay to Criminals

| 05/07/2011 | Comments (20)

Senseless gun violence has claimed too many young people in New York City where I live, and across the country. Most, not all, perpetrators are male.  Some community groups have begun to speak against this senseless violence, and many citizens readily work with NYPD when incidents like this occur. Sadly, there are others, including BMW’s (Black Males Whining) who complain about Stop-and-Frisk tactics designed to remove illegal guns from the community, and reduce crime rates. Worse, the criminal element among us is forming a voting block, with lobbyists who advocate on their behalf.

Many of these individuals show no little or no remorse for the carnage they create, and have no allegiance to Black women, children, or the community as a whole. Black women are expected to be loyal to them, even as they demonstrate no loyalty to women. Those who commit crimes, and their supporters, blame racism… as if they have no alternative choices, like acquiring an education and getting a job or starting a legal business. There is absolutely no excuse for committing crimes in the community. Living like KKK-in-blackface should not be tolerated.

During one recent public event, while discussing the HIV crisis in Black communities, a community leader said, “No one is going to stop having sex.” This male (and many others), does not know there are unmarried, educated, economically self-sufficient, fertile Black women who have already stopped having sex.

For these women, abstinence is a self-protective mechanism. No one knows the numbers because these women have taken their personal stance in isolation, and no one has sought to count them.

What if Black women collectively decided to stop giving vajayjay to criminals?

Contrary to popular male opinion, Black women are already selective regarding who they sleep with. The criteria varies. Gold teeth or no teeth – no vajayjay. Poor hygiene – no vajayjay.  Obvious lack of health – no vajayjay. Street homelessness – no vajayjay. Living with his mama homelessness – no vajayjay. Your sister’s ex-boyfriend – no vajayjay. Your brother’s ex-boyfriend – no vajayjay. Welfare babies – no vajayjay. No job – no vajayjay. Criminals can be added to the Shun List.

How to tell if he’s a criminal? If he talks about it. One male’s conversation was an elaborate wish to commit armed robbery of Costco’s. The woman listened while silently shaking her head in disbelief. When the conversation ended, this male made his move for sex. Of course, he didn’t get any.

Any male with a pocket full of money and no job should be suspect, unless he is a covert CIA operative, which is highly unlikely in the inner city. If he is hanging on the corner in the morning as you travel to work, and is on that same corner when you return, he’s idle, useless, and a potential two-legged problem.

Women can unobtrusively check if he is carrying an illegal gun. (If he does not work for law enforcement, or have a license, what is he doing with a gun?) Sista can check out that cutie she just met at the basement party by feeling him up while on the dance floor. Or, when he comes to your house for dinner, surreptitiously frisk him during the welcome hug. If he is carrying, gently beg off in a non-confrontational manner. You know how we do. He won’t even know what happened.

Why deny vajayjay?

The message will get across that Black women disapprove of crime. Even the slowest male would get the message sooner or later. The added benefit would be the end of breeding criminals, and the criminal lifestyle. Criminality is not a genetic trait, but what woman wants to negatively complicate her live and the live(s) of her child(ren) by spending weekends traveling upstate to visit baby daddy in prison?

If a woman is already in that situation, that is one thing. But voluntarily creating that situation with your eyes wide open, is another. And marrying someone while they are in lock-up should be out of the question. All he is going to do is demand money for commissary. What is the point?

Targeting those who commit crimes with this non-violent social change would benefit everyone in the community. We would not live in fear. Children could walk the sidewalk without getting shot. We might be able to trust one another. We could build a healthier community, instead of diverting precious time and financial resources fighting crime. It will be interesting to see BMW’s complain about this. If males who commit crimes really want Black women, they will stop the anti-social behaviors.

The change would not happen overnight, but it would happen.

From article originally published in Our Time Press September 18, 2008.

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  1. KeshiaDavis says:

    @Raz – Exactly. It isn’t about changing behavior, just refusing to reward and reinforce it.

  2. KeshiaDavis says:

    @Deborrah – Agreed. Both sides need to collectively decide to stop rewarding certain behaviors in others. What if more BW started shunning athletes and rappers, as well as criminals and bad boys in general, and instead started admiring doctors, programmers, scientists, etc? What if the men stopped giving attention to women who have no class and who act like hoes? What if BM acted a bit more like WM (in the good things) rather than condemning BW who turn to WM and start acting like ladies? Many women don’t want “protected” or “taken care of,” but more autonomy, and would rather not have thugs around them. But then others have learned helplessness and think having thugs in their lives will somehow give them the power they should already have, but was deprived of them or beaten out of them.

    And yes, everyone cheats, and we shouldn’t have double standards. It is just as immoral for men as for women. I’m reminded of a scumbag lawyer with the SPLC (probably the second largest civil rights group in America). This high paid lawyer’s wife wanted a divorce. Guess what he did? He set her up. He first told her they didn’t need to divorce, that if she wanted to see other guys, she could. So she cheated with his “blessings.” But he then hired a PI to follow her and gather evidence. It was entrapment on a civil level. He gave the evidence to a judge to try to get him to rule that it was her fault so he wouldn’t lose so much. In the course of the divorce suit, it came out that he was cheating on her with 12-15 different people. At least 2 were family members (eg., her sister), and at least one was a gay man. Some say lawyers like to screw people, well, he certainly did, in more ways than one.

  3. KeshiaDavis says:

    @BlackNarcissus – I know an asexual (not merely the choice of celibacy) White transsexual woman who simply wants to be ignored when she is out in public, and brothas hit on her all the time like she’s a hoe or something because of her birth defect. She is opposed to IR relationships, and not a time she goes out that she is free from the advances of men outside her race. She knew from an early age that she wanted to live alone, and have a life where she did things the hard way without being rescued or helped in any way. She doesn’t want taken care of, but for men to stay out of her way and give her the luxury and privilege of taking care of herself. She doesn’t want to be called a man nor approached by man, and would prefer a nonsexual, platonic, life, and surrounded by nothing but girl energy. She only wants the freedom to ride her bicycle to work and to stores and be either ignored or taken seriously (not seen as a kid or riding for fun or something stupid like “exercise”).

    And I agree if BW refused to be around criminals and let them know it was not attractive, and maybe went as far as to advertise this on television (BP are led a lot by peer pressure even more than WP, so when dealing with such a conformist culture, you have to give them permission to be different from some authority, and many give television authority, though that is a bad thing to do). So if the men balk, then the women can point at the ad and say that is what they want, cutting out a lot of argument and pressure.

    I’ve also wondered what would happen if BW stopped making BM for maybe 20 years. Have nothing but girls, and reduce the influence of the abusive, criminal patriarchy. When there is a shortage of men, then turn to other races. Or another idea. Why not tests for things such as the warrior gene and the addiction gene and selectively abort based on the results of those screenings? Those genes might even be the same one, but here is the theory. Some people have altered dopamine receptors that causes the person to need more stimulation (explaining a lot of addictive and psychopathic behaviors). Since their reward center in the brain is broken, they need more sex, more drugs, more excitement, more criminality, etc., just to feel normal. Maybe they could produce a SDRI class of drugs (like SSRI for depression, but for addiction, ADHD, and criminality). While stimulants like Ritalin could be of some help, it would not help if the person is abusing cocaine or other stimulants. It would be better if they could hold the dopamine they already have.

    A lot of this we have the slave traders to thank for. Think about it. People bred the most temperamental and violent dogs together, and ended up with German Shepherds, Pit Bulls, etc. Well, the tribes could have executed their murderers and rapists. But they thought they were being humane and making a fast buck by selling them. So the criminals were sold into slavery, but not most of the rest. So after a while, descendants of criminals were with descendants of criminals and produced offspring. Plus, consider that the White plantation owners were a bit psychopathic, cruel, and rapists too, and introduced some of their genes into the mix as well. Now everyone is still paying for the sins of the past. The issue is not so much race but culture and “breeds”.

  4. knutz says:

    I’d like to see anyone collectively get black women to do anything for a positive cause . if that was possible how about getting them to finish  high school and then getting a trade and not having a baby before they get their  lives together . its not so much as having sex its the giving birth to a child while you’re living in poverty and then being puzzled as to why you can’t seem to get ahead , Besides there are enough thug women running around  to keep the thugs sexually satisfied anyway.

  5. Rhio2k says:

    You know what will happen if this started? Rape. Hello?! They’re CRIMINALS! They’re impulsive, live in the moment like animals, and lack critical thinking skills. All they know is “I want”, then they take it. After all, the vast majority have been brainwashed by rap, and rap says it’s okay to “Take dat p***y”. Take whatever you want, even if you have to beat up or kill an 80 year old man or woman in the process.

  6. Deborrah says:

    No, that is not the chief point of the article. The author does reference that men would be less MOTIVATED to be criminals, but to think that a woman’s body alone would be enough to change a criminal mindset is silly.

    What the author means is that right now in many urban areas, young men see that the guys that are the crooks get the most beautiful women, the most women, have the money, and have the power. However, young men want sex more than they want pretty much anything, so the thought that they could have the power and money and not have women falling all over them takes a lot of the shine off of being a criminal.

    Men do what they do to get the attention and favor of women. Men are followers, and the #1 direction they follow in is where the pussy went!

    So if women didn’t pay any attention to and favor men with criminal mindsets or behaviors, then those men would be more motivated to behave instead in ways that GOT THE ATTENTION AND FAVOR OF WOMEN.

    That is what she is saying.

    But this is not about trying to control male behavior with sex. It’s about a woman choosing to elevate her standards of behavior in the men she sleeps with and loves and has children with. Once men see that the bar has been raised to get access to women, they will do what they need to do to continue to have said access. Some men anyway. But its all about their choice and the value to them of the woman they want. If they feel she is not really special anyway, or too much work, they will continue to do what they have always done without worrying about a woman’s standards.

    • Raz says:

      Exactly and well said Ms. Cooper! A woman can’t change a man’s behavior, all a woman can do is have her set of standards and expectations. Men who want to fulfill them will and those who don’t won’t. It’s as simple as that and women need to stop thinking that their behavior can change or control a man in any way. If a woman’s behavior (i.e. sexual behavior), controlled her man in a positive way, then why do you have men like Anthony Wierner and Tiger woods, Kobe Bryant, Arnold Schwartznegger and a host of others cheating on their wives, when their wives didn’t do this to them?
      Lyndon’s comment which I was responding to has nothing to do with the point of the article, he is off on some blaming tactic towards women for men’s trifling behavior.

      Lyndon:If women stopped giving it up so willingly PERIOD, we’d be forced to turn away from our womanizing ways
      This is why women who buy into this type of thinking are merely falling for the jedi-mind tricks of men who want to put the onus of their trifling behavior on woman’s shoulders as if they are little kids and can’t make mature respectful adult choices to their chosen mates all on their own. They have to be ‘forced’ to do it. Women need to wake up and realize that and stop making themselves responsible in that way. It’s all BS. Men will act a fool because they CHOOSE to, and it has nothing to do with women. Regardless of if a woman is Mother Teresa or a stripper in a club, a man will treat her based on ‘how he ‘values her and what they have together.

  7. BlackNarcissus says:

    This was a great article. I agree with a lot of the points made. There are some black women who actually desire criminals, or men in the criminal lifestyle. So simply saying that women shouldn’t sleep with men they actually desire may not be the answer. Most of these black women who claim to be celibate, are either lying, are religious fanatics, or have allowed themselves to be seduced or tricked by a smooth talking criminal, or one of the other types of trifling black men at some point, and are too angry at black men to have any type of healthy relationship with them. If black women decided to stay away from criminals, it would make that lifestyle much less appealing, to black men. If black women would show with their actions that they don’t approve of a lot of the behaviors in black men that they consistently complain about, it would drive the point home. I don’t see that happening though.

    • Raz says:

      BlackNarcissus: “Most of these black women who claim to be celibate, are either lying, are religious fanatics, or have allowed themselves to be seduced or tricked by a smooth talking criminal, or one of the other types of trifling black men at some point, and are too angry at black men to have any type of healthy relationship with them. “

      How do you know that these black women are lying when they say they are celibate? How do you know the reason behind their decision to be celibate? You don’t. You sound like just another silly fool male talking out of his ass and mad that the woman you wanted to get some putay from didn’t want to give you any so according to ‘you’ something has to be wrong with ‘her’.

  8. Lyndon says:

    I’ll raise you one… If women stopped giving it up so willingly PERIOD, we’d be forced to turn away from our womanizing ways. Many married men have multiple side pieces that know full well what the score is. This is an issue of self-worth nothing more nothing less.

    • Deborrah says:

      But see Lyndon, we are right back to the issue of men refusing to take responsibility for their own egregious behaviors, instead pointing at women and laying blame on women for men being trifling! Dude, if married and otherwise committed men made it a point to stop tipping out on their wives and girlfriends, and instead honored their commitments to these women, your womanizing ways and days would be over.

      You are correct, it is an issue of self-worth OF THE MALE. If a man believes himself to be a man of honor, integrity, a man of his word, a man that can be trusted to do what he says he is going to do, and to be a truly “good” man, then he would keep it in his pants and do the right thing.

      This is a problem in our society for sure, but to place the blame for men cheating solely on the shoulders of women is not fair and it excuses men from taking any responsibility for their behavior. If a man cheats, he did it because he wanted to. He would cheat with a woman, a hooker or even another man. His cheating is his problem to fix, and no one else’s.

      • Lyndon says:

        Im placing it on the shoulders of women because women have and always will be the ones pursued (like prey) The power has always been in their hands (or between the thighs) to tame a man’s desire and bring shape to something more healthy and emotionally gratifying. These days women not only “give it”, but make NO demands. And like a domino effect (?) it strains every relationship between men and women. Because at this point women are in competition with each other, and losing leverage in the a struggle to maintain dignity. This fight is the “woman’s fight”, not men

        • Raz says:

          Lyndon: “Im placing it on the shoulders of women because women have and always will be the ones pursued (like prey)The power has always been in their hands (or between the thighs) to tame a man’s desire and bring shape to something more healthy and emotionally gratifying”

          And how is this working out in dating/relating and mating lyndon by placing men’s behavior on the shoulders of women which gives men zero accountability? Apparently this isn’t successful and until men grow some balls and start holding themselves accountable for their own behavior and choices, instead of continuing to expect women to shoulder the responsibility of men you will forever see a strain on relationships. And just because a man is offered sex doesn’t mean the man has to ‘take’ what is given. Again he has the power to say ‘no’ and keep it in his pants… A fact you continue to conveniently overlook..

    • Raz says:

      Lyndon: “If women stopped giving it up so willingly PERIOD, we’d be forced to turn away from our womanizing ways.”

      SMH at this This “if/then” statement where you believe your behavior as a man is solely contingent upon what the woman does or doesn’t do. This sounds just like men who blame women for them becoming a baby daddy. “If she didn’t open her legs, then I wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant“. That’s BS! You act as though men are brainless fools with no self control and the inability to say “NO” all on their own. They are like little toddlers or dogs who lack the brain development to know when to say ‘WHEN and will eat until they throw up if Mama doesn’t take the plate or bowl away”.

      Are you as a man really going to attribute that low level cognition to black men who like to think that they are leaders? See a leader doesn’t need to be ‘forced’ to do something. He is self-possessed and has the ability within himself to make choices based on his value system and standards. Therefore a dude who can’t say no because he is faced with temptation speaks far more about his lack of self control and maturity than what the woman does or doesn’t do. In other words, Men need to GROW UP and stop depending on women to wean them away like they are babies from trifling acts that they ‘CHOOSE to commit.

      • but isn’t this “if/then” scenerio what the whole piece above is about? You and Deborrah are arguing with Lyndon about that (which really, men should have more self control but we see they DON’T) when isn’t that what the piece is saying? WOMEN stop dating criminals and then MEN will stop being criminals? they aren’t thinking to bring about that change in that area nor in cheating/dating either apparently. without us giving them standards and some hoops to jump through, they seem to all go right to the lowest amount of effort possible, which is why the dating field is atrocious these days.

        • Raz says:

          Socialitedreams: “WOMEN stop dating criminals and then MEN will stop being criminals?”

          No. If a man wants to act like a criminal he is going to do that regardless of who he dates because he CHOOSES to do that. And that’s what silly women don’t get. They think ‘they’ control men’s behavior. Nope men control their own behavior. What women need to do is focus on making better mating choices. Leave the criminals to themselves and let them date each other. We don’t ‘give men standards’. A grown ass man should already have dating standards just like grown ass women do. We are not responsible for ‘giving men standards’ or trying to teach them. What we as women are responsible for is having our own standards. If guys don’t meet ‘our standards that we have for ourselves, we keep it moving. Just as you expect women to have standards and be good role models, you should hold men to the same rules instead of expecting women to teach and raise grown ass men.

          • Raz, I’m saying, isn’t that what this whole “stop giving vajayjay to criminals” piece is about?

            the whole post above was about stop giving the goods to change the criminal mindset. Or are we reading different pieces?

          • Raz says:

            Socialitedreams: “the whole post above was about stop giving the goods to change the criminal mindset.”

            The article title says: “Ladies, Stop Giving Vajayjay to Criminals” It doesn’t say: Stop giving away the goods to change the criminal mindset, you are the one saying that.

            It is my understanding from this article that a woman need only be concerned with herself and make wise choices and have better standards for the men they choose to have in their lives. If a man decides he doesn’t want to be a criminal anymore because the women he wants don’t want anything to do with him, that’s great. But a woman doesn’t control that….Only the criminal does and only he decides the outcome of his behavior.

  9. Bellydancer says:

    I am glad you posted this. Not all of us are fucking thugs and I am getting tired of being lumped in with those silly bitches that do.
    My vajayjay is precious and cannot be replaced (lol)
    I have been celibate for years now and can keep on waiting because to sleep with the wrong person now can get you killed over some disease.
    Men are trifling especially when it comes to using condoms. Now when you tell them to use them they try to take them off during sex or they try to ease into doing it without using one and get mad when you insist.
    I have friends and co workers who talk about the guys they date and the bs they put up about birth control and condoms. Plus now all these negroes keep going to Brazil and other third world countries for sex and they brag about having anal sex and being able to do wild things sexually without the woman complaining, which means it’s probably nasty and done with underage girls. SMDH at trifling ass black men.

  10. Pat says:

    It sounds good, and your ideas are praiseworthy, but isn’t it too logical and too much of an effort for the BMW?

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