Men on the Down Low

| 01/05/2011 | Comments (0)

The “down-low,” “DL,” “Tha Low,” “Tha Low Low,” all refer to men who secretly have sex with other men while in sexual relationships with women. She may be his wife, girlfriend, or just a friend with benefits, but the down-low specifies that she is not “in the know” about his homosexual activities.

These men do not consider themselves gay or bisexual because they do not wish to be associated with gay, effeminate men. In fact, they actually shun all labels. Some of them consider their secretive homosexual lifestyle to be just another extracurricular activity.

Although the term “down-low” originated in the African-American community to indicate something on the “hush-hush,” it is now used to describe men of all races who have sex with other men undercover. We have found that this behavior is not new, nor is it specific to black men who have sex with men. White men who engage in this same dangerous behavior are said to be “in the closet.”

There is really no difference between Black men being on the down-low and any other men being in the closet—they are all closeted homosexuals. These men come in all ages, races, shapes, sizes, professions, and even religions. Most are hard to detect at first glance.

Some of these men have been practicing this lifestyle for many years and therefore have become very skillful at hiding their true identities. They believe that what they do privately is their own business and what we don’t know won’t hurt us.

But it does!

Join us on The Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show as we interview “Marie” co-author of the book “The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low” on Sunday, January 30, 2011 for an eye-opening discussion on down-low men in the Black community and how you can recognize when your man is living a secret life.

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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