All Men Lie – What They Really Want to Marry is a ‘Ho Not a Housewife

| 05/01/2012 | Comments (5)


I am using the term ‘ho because it is a male term and most men understand that to mean a woman that is freaky, open-minded, relaxed about her sexuality, loves sex, loves dick, and loves trying new things. Men of all races, but black men in particular, are extremely judgmental about a woman’s perceived sexual experience with other men. If a woman has too much experience for him, she is labeled a ‘ho and therefore off limits for love and commitment, which makes her unmarriageable.

Instead, he seeks out the religiously approved damn near virgin bride, then complains that she isn’t good in bed and the sex is boring because she doesn’t know what to do, he has to do all the work, he has to do all the initiating, she won’t let her freak out, she won’t wear lingerie, she won’t give head or doesn’t know how to ‘do it right’, etc.

He marries the damn near virgin bride, then goes and gets a girlfriend on the side that makes him sweat and vibrate and pass out in ecstasy. His side piece does all the freak nasty things he doesn’t think are proper to ask one’s wife, the innocent and pure mother of one’s children, to do.

Psychologists Call it the Madonna/Whore Complex

Women really need to stop listening to men talk about what they want in a wife. They don’t know what the fuck they want. Men are generally kinda stupid in that regard, and pay a lot of attention to other men and what THEY say a wife should be. It is a rare man that has the courage and strength to stand on his own… decide for himself what he needs in a wife with no concern for what any other guy thinks about it.

But since men are so needy and insecure and desirous of approval of other men, they choose a woman that other guys will pat them on the back over and not give them grief about. If he married a known freak or ‘ho, he is afraid that other guys would taunt him or talk badly about him behind his back. He is afraid of that possibility… he doesn’t want to look like a punk or weak. He is terrified that someone will walk up to him and make jokes about how good his wife’s pussy was when he had it, and does she still do that little thing with her tongue when she….

Most men are very threatened by that, especially if its a woman’s nature and she has had a couple of lovers before he came along. He is scared he can’t put it down like the others and won’t be enough to hold her. That is what the judgments come in ‘she MIGHT BE dropping the panties for everybody!” So insecure men marry the woman that looks a certain way that meets their friend’s approval, that is the race that meets their friends approval, that is the age that meets their friends approval. They also marry a woman that doesn’t have much sexual experience and won’t know the difference about his sexual prowess… who doesn’t have much in the way of skills in bed, then they try to turn HER into the “just for me ho!” That inability to withstand peer pressure even at 40 is what makes men unhappy in marriage. If they really married who made their heart and dick sing in joy – no matter her weight, size, race or sexual experience, they would love being married and rush home from work every day with a big ole Kool-Aid smile.

I will tell you this much. A man might have a wife with all them ‘good wife’ approved qualities. But if she ain’t turning his ass out in bed on the regular, his mind then his body is going to wander. Same with females. That shows how important sex is to a couple. The women I am talking about ain’t no angels. Some might call them Jezebels. They are seductresses. They will pull you in with their lascivious charms and sensuality. You will hear the call of the sirens. You will fall into her arms with abandon and forget all that shit about I’m the man running thangs. When she is done with you, you will curl up into the fetal position and suck your thumb as you fall into unconsciousness. You will dream about her when you are wide awake. You will be in meetings and drift off into reminiscing about how she made you scream like a girl the night before. You will look at your boss crazy if he should dare to ask you to say 5 seconds beyond 5:00 cause you wanna be looking at your woman by 5:37 pm EVERY DAY. That is what I am talking about.

See, all men want a woman that makes them feel like a little bitch in bed. Yup, I said it. Men want a woman with sexual power over him. He wants a woman that whups it on him so good at night that she can have him thinking about her touching him and he gets a shiver down his spine. He wants a woman that can make him get wood by just thinking about her. That is what men really want in a wife.

But they are afraid to admit it.  So you all choose the woman that is safe, the woman that you can control yourself with, the woman that believes you should be the head of her and that YOU should run things. Please!

No man with good sense wants to run a woman. Those men that you see smiling on the commute train going home with bouquets of flowers while all you single men rant and rave about being in control… those men understand what the fuck is up. And they are going home to walk in the door and throw down their armor and just BE.  Insecure single men are terrified that one or more of the men a ‘ho slept with previously had bigger dicks, was a better lover, lasted a lot longer, made her cum more or harder than HE IS ABLE TO DO. That terrifies insecure men too – sexual comparisons where he comes out on the bottom.  He wants to believe that he is the best at everything, though women already know you aren’t.

Get the fuck over yourself and get your dick game tight, then you won’t have that problem. You sitting on the sidelines worrying about what your woman MIGHT do to get better dick elsewhere? Then read some books and talk to her and find out what she likes in bed and out. Let her do the same with you.  Because if you marry some stuck up, legs crossed, I can’t suck a dick cause that is where pee comes out type of broad instead of a ‘ho you will soon get a clue about what I am saying.

This is the joke behind the phrase ‘you can’t turn a ho into a housewife!’ that men love to tell other men to make them fall in line.

The real deal is that the phrase should say “you can’t turn a housewife into a ‘ho!” because once a woman is raised to think that certain sex acts are nasty, you will NEVER get her past that way of thinking.  When a woman is let go to be who and what she wants to be without a lot of religious constraints on her sexual energy, she will be everything you want and more than you need.

Every man told that phase “you can’t turn a ‘ho into a housewife!” by another should say ‘I don’t want no cookie baking, apron wearing housewife. I’m good! I’ll take ‘ho for $500, Bob!’

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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  1. giantrafflesia says:

    Truth dot com

  2. Razzy says:

    Ms. Cooper slams another one home with the truth. Just got done reading this article
    This dude talks about perusing female profiles and proceeds to insist that he is spiritual minded and he ends by saying…”Last, but not least REAL men are looking for a woman with the first and foremost goal of living a life to the glory of the Most High GOD of Israel.””
    I’m thinking if this dude wants a woman of God then why the hell is he all up on dating sites looking at women’s profiles?  Why won’t he take himself to church, join a christian singles group or something so he can get the woman he ‘claims’ he wants?  Why?… Because just like Ms. Cooper’s article says, men talk all that ‘noise’ just to sound ‘socially acceptable and pious but at the end of the day, they want to get their dick wet and they want it done by a woman who knows how to wet it.  Overly pious christian women thinks that it is a sin to get down and dirty in the bedroom like that.  I really wish women would open their eyes and see through the jedi mind tricks men always tell women.

  3. ajewel30 says:

    Ms. Heartbeat, I have learned so much from you in the past few months than I have in all of my 41 years from my momma, grandmomma, and sister combined.   You have helped me to lift my self-esteem and knowledge about men that there is no price I can put on it.  Keep doing what you are doing because it is needed.  I love, love, love, you.  Thank you.   The women in my family are mostly christians and have done everything for the men in their lives. They were who I emulated until I discovered your articles and youtube. Continued success and many blessings 

    • Deborrah says:

      Wow! What a wonderful letter to log on and see this morning. You are so sweet to take the time to write and say such nice things. Normally all I hear are complaints and criticisms, so its truly amazing to hear that there is at least one person in this world that likes what I do and how I do it. LOLOL!! Thank you AJewel30. 🙂

  4. Razzy says:

    LOL love it, then after the man divorces the societal approved housewife, he goes and gets the woman he really wanted to marry in the first place.  I know I don’t want a boring ‘stable’ dud of a dude. I want the dude who makes my toes curl. But who is also responsible and sexy.  Why do men expect women to settle for boring and stable without experiencing toe curling, screaming like a banshee sex?  Who needs that?

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