Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the Black Community

| 11/20/2011 | Comments (84)

Taking into account my two decades of work in the advice field working with single black men and women, and after listening to Donna Andersen and Dr. Fran Walfish, the two experts I had on the show tonight discussing sociopaths, I have come to the conclusion that 97% of Black men in America suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That 3% … oooh weee that is hard to find.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
List from http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx36.htm

In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
— These are Black men that expect to get credit and a title of “good Black man” for doing the things they are SUPPOSED TO DO like work, go to school, and take care of the children they helped make. Love to remind women that there are more females than males, and that women need to get with him to “support” and “encourage” and “nurture” him to greatness. Like to refer to themselves as Black kings and Gods, though they possess no riches or fifedoms, and certainly no magical powers. Those that lie about their abilities and embellish their history and accomplishments my cousin Candace calls “Lying a$$ muhfuggas!”


Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
— Thinks they will be the next Michael Jordan, or a big time rapper, or a big time model, and are still dreaming that dream at 35. Believes they have the right to a woman’s body, love and commitment even though they are a verbally and/or emotionally abusive, arrogant asshat most of the time.

Believes that he is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
— These are the guys that went to school and now believe themselves too good to associate with “average” Blacks, even those in their own family. They move to the suburbs and marry White women. These are the type you meet at a party and the first thing they want to do is stare down their nose and ask you pointed questions to determine your pedigree – where you go to church, who you know in Jack & Jill or the Black MBA Association, and if you ever vacation in The Vineyard where his father has an estate.

Requires excessive admiration.
— Wants you to tell him “great job” about everything he does and go out of your way to thank him for helping out with his own children and in his own household. What are you, five? If you tell him about himself, he wants to call you bitter, angry or a man hater. Some will turn around use that as justification for cheating. You don’t have the right or permission to criticize him you mere Black woman.

Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his expectations.
— This is where the whole “Black women aren’t submissive enough” thing comes in. In retaliation, they will state that they deserve a foreign woman that knows her place and her role and puts him and his needs first without question or demand. Though he keeps his options open to date outside the race, he rants like a maniac at Black women that date other races and accuses them of abandoning the Black community. May attempt to get custody of children in a divorce proceeding to retaliate against a woman that leaves him, though he has never been an involved or even a caring parent. His chief goal is to avoid “paying that woman my money” or to avoid giving her the upper hand (control of the children). The worst of this bunch are the guys that attempt to hit on a woman as she is walking down the street or in some social setting, or that refuse to let a woman leave a relationship without hurting her. In the former, should she reject his advances, he becomes enraged and strikes out with violent words or punches. Women have died from gunshot wounds and stabbings at the hands of strangers. Moreso are the spurned lovers who refuse to let a woman move on; they kill them instead.

Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
— In this category are liars, players, gamers, pimps, and users of women. They call it “spitting game” or “running game” and their favorite targets are women. These are the clowns that bust you upside the head and take the purse of an old woman, or the new shoes or jacket of a child. Always demanding and selfish.  Even in prison, they demand that you run up your phone bill talking to them, go broke visiting them and putting money on their books. Child molesting pastors, fathers, step fathers, uncles, older brothers and trusted family friends that violate children sexually are also in this category.

Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
— Blames a woman for being victimized by one of his male buddies or any male, period. Even if a child is hurt by a predator, its still somehow the mother’s fault for “not picking a good Black man!” instead of the male’s fault for being a predator of children. Sits by idly refusing to lift a finger to help his exhausted mate or failing children. If he sees a woman being assaulted on the street, he laughs and films it to upload on World Star Hip  Hop instead of calling the cops. Intervening on her behalf will never happen. Will refuse to help young people or teach his own children anything “because nobody helped me!”

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
— Have you noticed how many Black men hate on Obama or any other successful Brotha for no reason?

Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
— They believe they are superior to women for no reason other than they have a penis.  I’d say that fits in perfectly.

As with all personality disorders, the person must be at least 18 years old before they can be diagnosed with it.

Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females, and is thought to occur in less than 1 percent in the general population.
— That is because none of those studies have been done on BLACK men where it would be at least 75% of the population.

Like most personality disorders, narcissistic personality disorder typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people
experiencing few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in the 40s or 50s.

— Yeah, because by then they have high blood pressure, “sugah”, need Viagra and nobody wants them.

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," and "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on Examiner.Com, SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder

72 comments
Openemeyes
Openemeyes

I was just coming to this same conclusion a few days ago. I have been wary of black men since I was a kid and was raped by a bm. I am married to a white man currently and based on the way they react to us it seems pathological. They look like they want to kill us both sometimes. Why?! They are supremely selfish. They used to steal my sisters ideas when she worked with them on marketing jobs. They judge women's looks so harshly no matter what they look like. I went to a club once and saw two bm laughing at two bw because they thought hey weren't petty. And trust, these two guys were not eye candy. What real man laughs at a woman's looks? They are really bad at breakup time too and seem to always want to break up with the woman first.

thinkingreader
thinkingreader

*gasp* The angry Black Woman DOES exist! Lol! 97% is ridiculous. Its statistically impossible for even the normality to reach 97% much less the anomaly. Citing various news clips doesn't support the argument of 97% because news does not present an even distribution of the population. In fact news is skewed towards the abnormality, thats what makes it "news". Additionally working with "hundreds of thousands" of Black Men over the course of 20 years doesnt constitute an acceptable statistical sample, even assuming all of the men were NPD sufferers. If the author worked with 999,999 Black Men, all of whom had NPD, that represents less than 10% of 1/3 of the 42million Black people in the US as of 2010. An anecdotal 10% is hardly a marker for the majority of a population. Not counting all of the assumptions made just to get to that less than 10%. Frankly one could argue the author displays narcissistic tendencies- hypersensitive to criticism, grandiose sense of self, exaggerated claims of success, lack of empathy for Black Men and for her own readers, unreasonable sense of entitlement, consistently displays arrogant and haughty attitudes. What kind of person, much less a professional scientist would step out on such a bold assertion about 97% of a population? With NO tangible studies or facts to support their assertion? Only retorting with insults, news clippings and challenges for people to go prove the negative.

Nene
Nene

Also sold some items from my mother's house when she was out of town on vacation, and hasn't given her the money for them or replaced them. Now he has the nerve to say he wants to start dating non-black women because they "know how to take care of him", even though he's lived with numerous women who worked while he stayed at home and they kicked him out when they got sick of him acting like he owned the house they paid for and trying to push them around like they were his servants. 

Nene
Nene

 I have a brother with children he never paid child support for and didn't speak to THEIR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD now getting angry that they won't braid his hair for free or loan him money. I keep reminding him YOU'RE LUCKY THEY TALK TO YOU AT ALL. 42 years old and owes my mother THOUSANDS of dollars and now won't speak to her because she wouldn't be a co-signer for him to get a car AGAIN (he didn't pay the last one and she was stuck with the payments). BTW, his hair still looks fly because since his daughters refuse to braid his hair he has to be in the salon every weekend. And he does refer to himself as "a good black man". WTF?

PhilTurnerJr
PhilTurnerJr

Wow Deborrah such powerful labels in this article. I would add that YES some men may exhibit those traits you mentioned but it is maybe something plaguing the black community as a whole. My inbox is just as full with both men and women complaining about the same things. "Can't find a quality man/woman." Both lacking relationship skills.

In addition, I have so many relationship tragedy links of both men and women that implements violence to their ex or current husband or boyfriends in a non-self-defense matter. Some for not doing what they asked them to do. I've learned that there is an up tick of Black women that committing domestic related crimes against men and family members for stupid reasons and plain disagreements. Men do commit more crimes against women however when it comes to matters of the heart, women, especially black women are climbing this ladder fast.

We have created a culture of hate between the sexes and its growing. I feel that there are so much pain in our community and love skills takes a back seat. This is destroying the fabric of our community. I am just simply concern and do my part to teach. However, I do know that it is just as important to call these things out as they occur. Here are just a few links of women causing pain and it is NOT to say them too,  but to say it should concern our community.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Woman-Stabs-Boyfriend-In-Eye-After-He-Refuses-to-Have--Sex-Deputies--227065371.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57600248-504083/jetaun-wheeler-minn-woman-charged-after-allegedly-killing-boyfriend-and-hiding-body-in-freezer/

http://www.wesh.com/news/central-florida/Woman-shoots-ex-boyfriend-as-he-clings-to-car-police-say/-/11788162/18297890/-/l21mexz/-/index.html

http://www.walb.com/story/23622199/update-police-release-name-of-woman-who-stabbed-ex-boyfriend-in-the-back

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

Here is a perfect example (which just happened) of the sociopathic nature of black males when it comes to how they view and treat black women. Few here seem to want to believe it, but the evidence, like I said several times, is easily available. NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT OF BLACK MEN ARE SOCIOPATHS.

http://www.crunkfeministcollective.com/2013/10/25/on-black-men-showing-up-for-black-women-at-the-scene-of-the-crime/

gfarria
gfarria

I've never heard of your show before, and I came across this particular post while catching up on some late night FB scrolling....I'm hoping that this is "tongue and cheek" sarcasm...if it isn't, then that's really a shame.  These grossly exaggerated over-generalizations shred any credibility you may have had to shards.  By your own admission, you came to your conclusion about 97% of all Black men in this country, based solely on an interview with two "so-called" experts".  You fail to cite any scholarly articles, findings from research studies, or peer-reviewed analysis.  This is dribble, pure and simple.  This is the shoddiest type of journalism, it's lazy in it's approach to scientific content, its as poorly written as it is researched...and I really do hope this was written in jest,  If so, good one, the jokes on me and I'll laugh right along with you.  But if you were serious, and if this is the type of journalistic contribution you wish to make and expect to be taken seriously, then Ms. Deborrah, the joke is most certainly on you. 

RockStarReka
RockStarReka

This was a terrible and racist (YES I SAID RACIST) article! No wonder men of all color label us a "Angry Black Women" too many of you are stuck being bitter on the poor choices of men you have made! This is solely a opinionated piece and for you to actually try to diagnose almost an entire race of men with your bitter beliefs is not even laughable because ignorance is often times, dangerously influential!


Get you life and act together, you are no journalist, just another angry black AMERICAN broad with internet access and a keyboard! You will not succeed in the further destruction of my race!

Deezy
Deezy

You appear to have fallen into the trap that many who are not clinicians fall into. You hear a bit about a disorder and then run with it trying to apply it to their own situations or the situations of those around them. Do some black men suffer from NPD? Definitely. Is that number 97%? No. Not by a long shot. Perhaps you were being dramatic when you posted that number, but people wander onto your site, read that number and believe you and parrot that figure to others. It does not make for a strong argument and it seems a bit like male bashing. 

Now I understand that perhaps I'm ignorant or I'm in some sort of "bros before hos" mentality, but please understand one thing. 

I'm a practicing psychologist...I know a little bit about personality disorders. 

Icewater05
Icewater05

You need to have a better understanding the disorder before trying to apply in the manner you did. you may  want to see if it applies to yourself as well, this is merely a veiled male bashing piece. I know plenty of men and women who this applies to.

TrSeeker
TrSeeker

While I agree with the Narcissistic tendencies that tend to run rampant throughout our Black men, I totally disagree at the stated percentage.  With such a high number this article quickly goes from being informative to being more telling about the types of men the writer has been familiar with and/or attracting.  Even mentioning sociopaths in an article about Black men was unnecessary.  Yes, it refers to what the writer had been working on but also begins to prime the reader's mind frame about Black men.   I was going to share this article as a fun read but... no matter what the narcissist thinks - Not all of our Black men ARE Kings.  And not all of us Black women are Queens.  No realm could function with all rulers. 

Razzy
Razzy

@gfarria

A hit dog will hollar and gfarria is howling.  This article must have hit home with you somewhere to put you on the defensive and in denial. I'm sure had this article been written about women, you wouldn't have said one thing. 

Gfarria has what a wise woman Brooklyn Blue bird once referred to as the "Prove it rebuttal"

"There is a phenomenon amongst black men that I have nick named the 'Prove It!' Rebuttal. It works like this...anytime a woman, especially if she is black, speaks to the collective negative experience of black women, (particularly at the hands of black men) some guy will come along and demand evidentiary  proof to validate and verify what she says. A black woman MUST have statistics, data, charts, graphs, studied, scientifically controlled lab results, archeological Findings, carbon dating and stone tablets carved by Jesus himself, in order for her words to have merit. The shit is hilarious, and it never fails. All these brothas who CLAIM to give women their due, still find I hard to accept what she has to say, without 3rd party qualification, quantification or verification. So many brothas are sexist to their core...and don't even realize it. Damn shame"

That's you gfarria sexist and narcissistic. 


Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@gfarria Never did I say that my number was arrived at based on one 60 minute interview. No, its based on 20 years of experience interacting with that demographic, and a lifetime of being a black woman. So I am fully qualified to make my assessment based on MY interactions with hundreds of thousands of black men and women over those years. I stick by my number. Might be 95% vs. 97% so if it makes you feel better, we can roll with that.  So 95% of black men are sick in the head.

By the way, I never heard of you either.

Razzy
Razzy

@RockStarReka  

You are a dumb male dominated broad and just because you may not  have experienced males behaving like this (which I doubt it, you were just too dumb and dominated to realize it) doesn't mean this behavior isn't the majority.  The majority doesn't say 'all' but just because it's not 'all doesn't mean these behaviors don't need to be addressed.  You're another hit dog who has probably experienced narcissistic behavior from some trifling male and you put up with it. So rather than look at yourself and the jikka who had you under his control, you attack the messenger.  

Razzy
Razzy

@Deezy "Now I understand that perhaps I'm ignorant or I'm in some sort of 'bros before hos' mentality but please understand one t hing.. I'm a practicing psychologist... I know a little bit about personality disorders".


You're also a man first and sexist.  This means that you get defensive anytime a woman calls black men out as a collective about the negative behavior they dish out to black women as a whole.  Yet had this been about women, I'm sure you would have had nothing to say. Black men are quick to get defensive when you are called out on your collective behavior and you look for all kinds of cracks and crevices to deflect rather than focus on the behaviors as a whole.  You want black women to put up and shut up in silence.  I for one think you waste your time and energy focusing on the 'trees' rather than looking at the forest.

If black men were so great as a collective then that percentage would read '97% of black men are worthy partners for black women and only 3% are not, and we wouldn't even have the need to have this article.  It would be a non-issue' nothing to write about, that little 3% would be miniscule. But see in the black community if you have at least half of the black men with these negative behaviors that black women are dealing with, you need to call them on it. Stop ignoring the majority behavior and trying to focus on the small number of black men who have their ish together.

Your title of psychologist still doesn't mean you have common sense or that you are not sexist and defensive because you don't like the message.

swirlygirl
swirlygirl

Yes of course there are female sociopaths DUH no one is disputing that. However female sociopaths are few and far between.

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@Icewater05 - Good for you. But you didn't write the article, I did. And I have a prime understanding of mental illness especially when viewed in the context of black men displaying those behaviors towards black women. Its hardly male bashing unless the shoe fits you. If not, ignore it. Just like you would if I were talking about millionaire black men because that ain't you either. You, by the fact that you got disturbed and offended by a general piece on the behaviors of black men towards black women where not one name was mentioned, show yourself to be suffering from the affliction yourself.

Razzy
Razzy

@TrSeeker "While I agree with the Narcissistic tendencies that tend to run rampant throughout our Black men, I totally disagree at the stated percentage".

So what, would you feel better if the number was 50%?  That's still too high of a number.  How about this.

"While I  agree with police profiling black men and that tends to run rampant throughout black neighborhoods, I totally disagree that the majority of white policemen profile.'

See I'm sure you would be outraged by that and all puffed up with 'Oh no she didn't just defend the man'.  But see this is exactly what you black men do to black women.  You want black women to support you when the 'man' mistreats and abuse you, but when you turn around and mistreat and abuse black women, you want her to ignore it and focus on a 'number'.  If it's 3 black men who are like that, it's three too many.  All you are doing is deflecting, focusing on a number rather than focusing on these behaviors that as you admit run rampant throughout black men.  You need to ask yourself why... 

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@TrSeeker- One thing I hate is ignorance. And women who come on a professional advice columnists and authors page and start personalizing her writing as being about "the types of men the writer has been familiar with and/or attracting" shows ignorance. Know whose site you are on before you get silly with that blaming shit. I don't like it and don't tolerate it around here.  You don't have to "attract" anything. You don't have to date a whacky black man to see the narcissistic personality disorder in full effect. Every time a young girl walks down the street and is accosted by some clowns commanding her to smile or give him or number, who then calls her bitches and ho's or punches her or runs her down with his vehicle in anger because she rejected him, you are seeing evidence of narcissistic personality disorder displayed. Here are a few links so you can educate yourself on the widespread and deadly nature of this attitude in black males.

He tried to kill her with a bowling ball because she refused to have a drink with him. A complete stranger.
http://charlotte.cbslocal.com/2011/12/20/south-carolina-man-accused-of-throwing-bowling-ball-at-womans-head/

He mad cause she wanted to break up so he killed her and her five year old baby girl
http://soulsofblackwomen.blogspot.com/2013/01/update-black-women-why-did-nj-womans.html

He mad cause he wanted to marry her and she said no.
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1993-01-06/news/9303151099_1_stabbing-apartment-three-children

He was jealous she had moved on and killed her and her boyfriend
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2352640/Woman-boyfriend-killed-ex-hours-called-police-help.html

He mad she paid too much attention to the baby so he punched the baby and killed her
http://www.blackbluedog.com/2013/09/news/womans-boyfriend-p%C2%B5nches-her-baby-in-the-stomach-klls-her/

And there are dozens of such stories posted on the Facebook Page "This is Blackistan" http://www.facebook.com/blackistan where black men go beserk and kill women and children because "they mad". FOH! Don't defend these clowns to me. There are thousands of black women dead right now and that will be murdered over the course of this year due to some man's belief that he has an innate RIGHT to control her pussy, her time, her energy, her whereabouts, her words, and even her clothing.






gfarria
gfarria

@Razzy @gfarria This is awesome...keep it coming, Razzy...I'm narcissistic (and sexist) because I'm smart enough to know you two are full of it, can't prove a single solitary thing you spout, and call you out on your foolishly off-base over-generalizations...dang these advanced degrees and license to practice law....they will be the death of me yet....LOL

MichaelOdom
MichaelOdom

@Deborrah @gfarria Clearly you are just bitter about your own experiences with men. These generalizations are completely foul and unwarranted. Just because YOU don't know how to find a good man doesn't mean that some made up percentage of men are no good, narcissistic, etc. As a black man, I am offended by this article and I think it is sad that you, a black woman, feel the need to disparage your own people in this disgraceful attempt at journalism.

MeghanSymoneThomas
MeghanSymoneThomas

@Deborrah 
That still doesn't help that you cited no scholarly work of any type in your article. Except one site and a reference to two people you had come on your show. Instead most of it is based on observations. It really diminishes your credibility, especially since you draw a number not from any scientific experiment. I understand this is not a scholarly work, but even as a piece of journalism this isn't very good. I'd be welcome to reading this again if you included a few sources to back your claim. Otherwise I'll dismiss it.


Also, they way you respond to comments is really disheartening. My aim is not to be rude but I think you tend to put down readers who disagree with you, and you fail to really provide a good rebuttal.

gfarria
gfarria

Again, not one single shred of scientific evidence provided to substantiate anything you say.  This is so intellectually dishonest that its laughable...only in the "blogosphere" can one get away with such unsubstantiated cheap shots...such unfounded foolishness and call it "research"...I just hope you aren't in the NABJ...some of those folks take their craft seriously...and this dribble is a mockery. 


Deezy
Deezy

@Deborrah @Deezy My major issue with this article, apart from the clearly made up numbers, is the fact that it's supposed to be an advice column. What's the advice given herein? Don't date black men? 

Also, you're the first advice columnist that I've ever seen attack her readers. People may disagree with you. Class would dictate that you take it in stride. You have your opinion and you're fully entitled to it, but others may have differing opinions due to their experiences and knowledge. 

Deezy
Deezy

@Deborrah @Deezy Well, I suppose relationship advice columnist trumps peer reviewed research all day long. 

Icewater05
Icewater05

@Deborrah @Icewater05 

I'm not offended the piece, i'm offended by the misuse of information from any source. male or female, rich or poor, white or black. I also have no problem confronting men who behave this way.  

TrSeeker
TrSeeker

@Razzy @TrSeeker Notice the word tendencies is different than disorder. I'm delighted that you would be sure that I would be outraged and puffed up however, I have to disappoint - again.  Not a Black man.  Not a man.  I am a Black woman.  Not deflecting the behavior.  Saying that the behavioral traits of a few do not qualify almost the entire (97%) gender of the Black race to be labeled with a mental health disorder.   Oh and anytime you wish to defend 'the man' is cool with me.  I respect your right to an opinion.

TrSeeker
TrSeeker

@Deborrah @TrSeeker Not a big fan of criticism are you?  While I did not attack you, you seem to have taken my response to your article highly personally.  As for ignorance... well... those truly are astounding articles that you have chosen to share as proof of your argument. However, you neglected to include them in the article that was written.  I will defend all who I see needing such including those lumped together irresponsibly by one trying to flesh out an article.  You were heavy handed with your percentages.  And if you are no aware of any Black man who has or is trying to be a better soul, then I weep for you.  May I suggest that if you do not want replies that differ from your own... remove the feature and only include a LIKE button.

EddieJ
EddieJ

@Deborrah @TrSeeker this post (as is the writer's response to this comment) is ignorance on a silver platter.  

First is the fake percentages, if you're going to use numbers at least have some basic level of statistics behind them. To say that "97% of Black men" have this personality disorder, only to comment here and post links to articles about where black men have killed women for insane reasons is fallacious. So are you saying that almost 141 million black men (out of the 146 million black men total in this country) have this intense disorder to the degree of murder or outlandish behavior? Hmm that would be a great headliner for CNN...if it were accurate. 

Also, your "interpretation" of the symptoms/traits of NPD were skewed to fit your already weakly written argument. Believing that one is "special" or "unique" because they have gone to school and have gotten an education and refuse to talk to those who can't give discourse on their academic level isn't "Narcissistic" it's being "arrogant". Narcissism will be in the realms of a person who hasn't done ANYTHING at all, but feels as if they are above others. Same with wanting too much attention. Narcissism dwells within the extremes of the human id. It isn't a simple "he always wants attention", or "hates on Obama". 

Narcissism would be a person thinking the entire world revolves around them in a certain capacity, or is envious of Obama because they think they can run the country better than he can (although they haven't even held a position in a political office or pursued higher education) or that Obama dislikes them because Obama "knows" that THEY can run the country better than them. This entire article is wrong. This typecasting of black people by our own has got to end. Period. 

And by the way, if they did the study on "black men", i doubt that we (who only hold about 15% of the entire population) could increase the numbers from 1% to 75%. And you also didn't address the fact that for any person to be attributed to this disorder, FIVE of the things you mentioned in this list would have to be apart of their personality, not just 1 of them. So if a man thinks he's "better" than a woman because he has a penis, and solely for that purpose, yet he still goes to work, maintains the household accordingly, has realistic expectations of himself, etc., he doesn't fit the disorder, he's just a sexist idiot.

swirlygirl
swirlygirl

Good afternoon Princess! :-) Wow it looks like someone still has their beautiful, lacy, pink panties in a bunch!? I will tell you this one more time: If this doesn't apply to you, then why oh why are you even bothering? Do you just like to look for articles that get you all worked up and foaming at the mouth? Why not enjoy your life and exit the conversation, since you can't be bothered with debating people who you claim are beneath your wits? You sure spent a lot of time and negative energy debating us? I don't have to come with a creative debate in order to shut you down, because I have moved on past slow ones like yourself. I see nothing creative or fascinating about what you said either. My friend yiu are like the guy who laughs at his own corny jokes! I don't get your type at all? Just weird! You open up an argument as though you are personally offended, just showing us that you are not ready to have an honest conversation yet! Funny how you accuse others of having anger about their own personal experiences? Unlike you, I am not afraid to admit, I have had experiences, I know what I'm talking about and witnessed with my own eyes! I am here learning and opening up my own eyes and that is a great thing for me. The fact that you can't provide constructive critique and straight forward, honest replies to whatever argument I make, shows that you have no real debate yourself. You are full of hot air sir! I can no longer entertain your delusion! I refuse to! I really try to be nice to idiots like you, but why bother? You just approach with the same word play and what's worse is that you pat yourself on the back for the pathetic arguments you make? It's like the dumb chick who brags about her "husband knowing where home is" after he cheats on her time and time again! No!!! Just stop it! You managed to come on here and make a perfect fool of yourself. At least you could have lied to me about the fact that you never bothered to research? If you go into court with these kind of arguments, man I hope your clients get a FULL REFUND!!!??

gfarria
gfarria

Name calling, really? That's all you got.  Tired, old, re-used "hit-dog will holler" cliches, personal attacks,..and name calling.  Poor debating skills on your part Razzy.  Poor, Poor, and dismally poor. Can any of you "Deborrah disciples" defend your master with intellect, reason, or logic? So far, I'd have to say...No. 

gfarria
gfarria

@swirlygirl Now swirlygirl, I must admit that I appreciate your venom and tenacity, but something here is missing. Your diatribe, while it is as insanely off-base and ill-informed as the foolish article that I originally critiqued, it's not as amusing.  You seem to do a great job of playing protector, fiercely loyal and laying in wait to jump off the leash and confront any one who dare question your master.  But you are way too personal in your attack, it shows poor debating skills and an ultimate lack of creative or critical thought.  With that being said, one doesn't have to have done any prior research or have prior knowledge of a subject in order to offer a critique on a given reports veracity for truth or authenticity..all one has to do is question the lack of citation to verifiable sources, raw data, research, etc.  I;m not sure what Christopher Columbus had to do with any thing discussed, so I will leave that alone...and chalk it up to poor joke delivery...like I said, your rant is clearly as crazy as your fellow Deborrah disciple's...just not as comical....but have faith..and keep swinging for the fences, champ....practice makes perfect.

Razzy
Razzy

@gfarria @Razzy  dang these advanced degrees and licenseto practice law...Still means you are sexist and narcissistic.  you are no better than Pookie or RayRay round the corner.  You hide behind your degrees and white collar but your attitude and lack of empathy for black women, puts you right there on their level.

you are sexist narcissistic no matter how many degrees you claim to have. i don't know why so called males like you think your 'degree'= you are perfect. No it just means you went to school and did what you did to obtain a degree.  So what shrugs.  Doesn't tell what kind of person you are, or what your attitude is towards women. jerks come in all walks of life. 

swirlygirl
swirlygirl

I don't get men like you? You are foolish enough to comment on an article before you do any actual research on the topic. There ARE studies and statistics that actually do support this article in one way or another. If you bothered to do the research and think critically for once in your life you just might learn to react with your brain, instead of just irrational angry emotions. It's clear that you fit the discription of at least a few of the articles examples of a sociopath. You are ignorant if you really believe a sociopath can't be a "Lawyer", Doctor or authoratative figure. Many world leaders and dictators are sociopaths or narcissists? Christopher Columbus was a sociopath! YET we are brainwashed enough as a country to actually name a holiday after him? All you did was come out the wood work with a lame argument. You seem to be the angry one and obviously can't deal with the truth. If this does not apply to YOU then why even respond?

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@MichaelOdom - I am not disparaging anyone, I am merely stating facts as I see them. Again, this is not about me personally. I don't associate with knuckleheads except online where I have to. If the article doesn't fit you, why are you so upset? Only hit dogs holler. I don't go on websites and make post after post whining about women that do crazy stuff, because it doesn't apply to me. So why are you here again? Oh yeah! Because you recognize yourself and you're defensive and upset about it. Don't get angry, just make the requisite changes. 

MeghanSymoneThomas
MeghanSymoneThomas

@Deborrah I forgot to mention this, but it's not that we don't want to believe or understand it. It's the way you wrote this article. It wasn't written in a "This is an issue we should be worried about, here is why, and here is a solution". It was written as "This black men are so crazy because they sick. Stay away from them gurrrl." It wasn't written in a worrying tone, but a really negative one that is just offensive, especially with the type of language you use. It distracts from what you imply is a serious problem. I think this is also one of the many reasons why some of us are upset. But take it as you will, just providing constructive criticism. Have a bless day.

MeghanSymoneThomas
MeghanSymoneThomas

@Deborrah I came to read this article hoping you would open my eyes. I came to your article expecting that you may have had any links to studies or research being done. That is what I expected from you given you experience. But you didn't provide that. Instead you just belittled me when I was trying to gain more information. It's very discouraging. Therefore, I'll go look elsewhere. Thanks for your time.

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@MeghanSymoneThomas SInce its so important to you to have scientific facts, you go and find some that can dispute what I said. Go look. You won't find anything. But what you WILL find is thousands upon thousands of news clips, video reports, and articles about how vile, foul, deceptive and violent black men are these days. You will find story after story of brutal attacks, rapes, child molestations, child murders and violence against women at the hands of black males. That's what you will find. Nothing will EVER discount my statements because reality is a muthafucka. Not sure why you folks don't want to believe it. The truth is there, all you have to do is open your eyes.

swirlygirl
swirlygirl

Yes! Just like when you have a child Psychologist write a book about how to raise children, YET they NEVER! EVER raised a child!? That always bothered me too. If you lived it and then went to school and learned child psychology and then afterwards raised a few children, then I would read a book by an experienced Psychologist who ALSO raised some children successfully. Other than that I prefer to listen to people who actually lived and observed real life situations. No one is impressed with your degree because we all can observe and go to the library to learn pretty much what you have learned through books.

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@Deezy Exactly. Because when someone writes an opinion piece, they don't need to have scientific studies behind it. All they need is what is called empirical evidence and that is what we use around here - the statements of women who have lived it. To me that has much more validity than anything someone who hasn't lived it, sitting behind a clipboard can say. 

Deborrah
Deborrah moderator

@TrSeeker Unless I SAID "ALL" then that is not all. If I have a glass of milk and I drink 97% of it, there is still some milk left in the glass. Therefore, I didn't drink ALL of it. So how you, an alleged learned professional can misstate the definition of a word so clear in meaning as ALL is rather interesting.

TrSeeker
TrSeeker

@Razzy @TrSeeker @Deborrah I reviewed the article as it was written - skewed from specific articles, an unrealistic percentage, and the inclusion of the writers opinions that are stated throughout the article.  
Did not blame women in general for who we attract.  I stated - as you pointed out - is more telling about who the writer has been familiar with and/or attracting.
Attracting the bad boy and becoming familiar with him are too separate states.  Unwelcomed attention from the clown is NOT the same as dating or marrying the clown.  And by saying 97% - even dropped the 2% - the writer has IMPLIED all.   Believing that out of 100 Black men only 3 or 5 are worth anything is something that everyone should reject and get caught up on.  

Razzy
Razzy

@TrSeeker @Deborrah"While I did not attack you, you seem to have taken my response to your article highly personally."

Didn't you make the article be about her personally when you wrote this?

"With such a high number this article quickly goes from being informative to being more telling about the types of men the writer has been familiar with and/or attracting.”

How do you know anything about what the writer is attracting?  And why are you blaming women for who they attract?  A woman could be walking down the street and attract all kinds of clowns and she's doing no more than minding her own business.

Also, reading comprehension here.  No where did the article say 'ALL black men'. Why are you so caught up on that?


EddieJ
EddieJ

@Razzy @EddieJ @Deborrah @TrSeeker actually I disagree with the poorly written article and the fact that the author is BEING narcissistic in her approach of argumentation is what makes this ironic. lol. To take the diagnosis of something and skew it to fit your schema of how the world works seems very off to me. It's like trying to argue that Google is God because God is portrayed as "omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent" or that a teenager is a psychopath because they are "irresponsible, overconfident, and have short attention span" (which are part of the criteria of being a psychopath). 

If you WANT an ACTUAL portrayal of what narcissistic personality disorder is, go here: http://www.bpdcentral.com/narcissistic-disorder/hallmarks-of-npd/ 

these are from people who were (or with someone who was) actually diagnosed as NPD. There is a difference with the reality and this article. And AGAIN people have to exhibit  5 of these traits to even be diagnosed, which is the fallacy of this entire article. You don't even give an example that encompasses five of these traits, and then connect it to a certain realistic percentage of black men (which would be done through study). The fallacy is called "hasty generalization". 

If you wanted to make this article at least partially informal, and far from laughably ignorant, why not just make a general warning for women to look out for these signs in men with accurate depictions of them? Why attack the entire race? 

Razzy
Razzy

@EddieJ @Deborrah @TrSeeker   A man who thinks he is better than a woman simply because he has a penis is narcissistic.  Narcissism encompasses arrogance.  You seem to think Narcissism is one particular way of being without exhibiting traits of other negative personalities.  Not true.  A narcissistic person can have other personality disorders all mixed up in there with the greatest overriding personality being on of narcissism.  There is no cookie cutter personality type that is simply 'one thing'.  

Just like a sociopath can also have personality traits that show benevolence, still doesn't cancel out the socippathological traits he or she exhibits.  Stop trying to parse and get all caught up in the nitpicking.

Bottom line is that black men DO tend to be narcissistic and think the world revolves around them and that black women are there to 'help them come up, to serve them, to be their "helpmeet'.    They get this message from religion. And since religion permeates society, even those so called atheist men still have the ingrained mind set that they are better than women simply because they are brainwashed to feel this way by a historically patriarchal world. 

I think this article hit the nail on the head.


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