Single Women: Avoid the Dream Weaving Lover
Young women are clueless about what qualities they should be looking for in a man. Their selection criteria standards are no higher than what kind of car he drives, how “cute” he is, the muscle bulk he boasts, his popularity or profession, how fashionably he dresses, his bedroom skills, or how much money he spends. In response to this confusion, I took a few minutes to write this article and provide you ladies with tips to avoid the #1 knucklehead out there and his fantasy based mind games.
The techniques listed above are not the smartest way to select a man. The list is comprised of superficial traits that have absolutely nothing to do with how a man will treat you, how much he respects and honors you, nor how devoted or loving he is towards you.
In response to this confusion, I took a few minutes to write this article and provide you ladies with tips to avoid the #1 knucklehead out there and his fantasy based mind games.
The Magical Instant Commitment, Dream Weaving Perpetrator
You may meet this man online or at a party or club. He is funny, engaging and charming. You laugh a lot. You are relaxed and feel very comfortable with him almost immediately. You two engage in a heartfelt discussion about your past relationships and goals for the future. You find yourself spilling out your pain and share that you are seeking a true love, a forever love, someone you can trust and be with for decades. Wow! He tells you that he is looking for the exact same thing.
Word for word.
Sex with him takes you to the moon and back. You feel so understood. Though it’s only been a month, you feel that you are in love with him already and KNOW he loves you. You feel like you’ve met your soul mate and can’t believe your good luck. You talk to your friends about the real possibilities you see here for a future, since he wants everything you want out of life.
You make plans for growth in your professional life, personal life, and since you are falling in love with this charming man, you include him in your plans.
You talk to him frequently about your dreams and plans, and are more in love with him than ever. You lay in bed with your head on his chest while he daydreams out loud about the children he wants to have “some day.” He’s taken you on romantic drives in nearby residential communities to look at new developments he’s interested in moving into. You imagine the two of you living the suburban dream. It makes sense that he should be looking at new homes because, after all, when you marry you will need a fabulous home for the family.
Months pass. Then you notice something. Something odd. After all these months, none of the dreams you two spoke of have actually ever HAPPENED.
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
Another reason to wait until you are married. He will disappear fast. I met this loser described in the article. Exactly, word for word, he started talking crazy, trying to create something that was never there. What a weirdo.