Son of a God Who Became a Dope Fiend

I learned to look upon my father with mercy, compassion, and forgiveness when I was in prison. There was this addict in there named David Manuel, who helped me to understand what my father was going through. He told me one day, “Shadid, drug addicts don’t start out that way. They weren’t born with a pipe in their hands. Sometimes a tragedy or a weakness pushes people towards the drugs. Drug addicts are human beings, flawed, yet human, and they have made mistakes.”

His wisdom allowed me to repair the relationship I had with my father and to see him in a different light.What children see as victims of their parents drug addiction is life altering.

Children do not have the critical or deductive reasoning skills to understand what is going on with their drug addicted parent. It is the children of these addicts that suffer the brunt of their parents addiction. It is the children that pay the ultimate price. A parent’s addiction affects all of your relationship, how you view yourself and how you view the world.

The most selfish thing I ever heard in my life was told to me by my father during the height of his addiction.

He said, “My drug problem effects me, not you! You don’t have nothing to do with my drug addiction. This is all on me!” That was the most selfish shit I ever heard a human being say. I wanted to choke the shit out of my father for telling me that! He didn’t take into account what me and my brothers were going through in school and how it effected our self-esteem! But once I became a man, I understood that a drug addict is a selfish being and they are irrational. You cannot reason with them.

Why am I putting this out here?

I am putting this out here because this is a problem that few people address. They do not talk about the children and how the parents dope fiend actions effect them. There is no rehab for the mind of the child. All of the killing and dysfunction going on in the black community, has a lot to do with children who are hurting because of their parents addiction.

Drugs are a curse and a demon. The dope fiend behavior destroys all involved, especially the children. I wanted to give my perspective on this issue from personal experience.

This isn’t something someone told me, this is something I lived. If my telling of this part of my life can help you or lead you to help someone or children in a similar situation, then it was well worth my time and effort to present this piece.

In closing, I loved my father. He was God to me, he was my hero and he was my personal body guard. He was also human though, and he was a man that went through a lot.

I give honor to him by telling part of his story in hopes that his addiction can be used to help others understand the dynamics involved with the addict and the children.

I try not to look back too often, but it is good to look back sometimes to see how far you have come so you can adjust your footing as you head into the future.