Texting Got Him Put on Nignore

| 08/18/2010 | Comments (2)

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I screwed it up. This girl and I whom I’ve known awhile hit it off great and although our dates have been few, they’ve been quite enjoyable. I texted her the other evening and asked if she could come by, that I wanted to talk to her. She couldn’t but asked what was up. I didn’t want to go into anything because, some conversations are better off done in person and not texting back and forth.

After a bit, she asked if it was something that she was doing wrong, and I said no. She asked if it was something bad, and I said yes. I was being vague a little more, mainly to force this into a voice or face-to-face conversation, and she eventually got a bit irritated.

She finally told me I don’t know what’s going on but I’ve gone through some terrible things and I won’t be played or messed with. I told her I’m not playing her or doing anything to cause hurt in her life. She said then I didnt think you were but just know it takes a lot for me to put trust in people.

So after that, I was thinking does this girl want this to be more than just hanging out or just jealous because she thinks there’s someone else?

Where I think I screwed up was saying to her I’m only interested in her. That I myself have been tested with others’ trust and that to meet someone who is honest and genuine is refreshing. She seemed to back off a little after. Wasn’t asking the girl to marry me or anything. I heard nothing after that and so that night I just sent a ‘hey i know this is your long day, hope it went well.’  text and followed up with I want to make sure that we are ok.’ She says, yes, we’re fine, said she was tired and was going back to sleep.

So, again, I dunno if I screwed up anywhere… I think I did. I was afraid I was gonna begin backing off of her when things were beginning to go well…which is sorta what I wanted to be upfront about. In what way I’d explain that, I have no clue. Doesn’t seem like saying the other helped either.

I Messed Up

Dear Messed:
Why didn’t you call her like a man should? What is it with this texting mess? Grown men do not ask women out by text! That is something teeny boppers do, and even young girls shouldn’t accept this nonsense.  It’s totally inappropriate behavior.  I would have put you on Nignore too!

You want women to respect you and treat you like a man? Then stop acting like a child! Men need to man up and be MEN. You want to go on a date, pick up the phone and call her, or get your azz in your car and go to where SHE is.  You don’t ask a woman to come to you. WTF kind of dating is this?

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Dating expert and advice columnist since 1993, writing as Ms. HeartBeat. Author of the hilarious street smart dating guide "Sucka Free Love - How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged."

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  1. Sky says:

    If you think that’s bad, try having a guy calling you a week after you gave him your number. this happened to me recently. He called a week after, and then didn’t call again a week after that. He would call at the most inconvient times, 11p.m., noon, and one time 8 a.m.!!!! I’m thinking this dude is not really trying hard. Not to mention he left no messages and wasn’t persistent w/ his calls. O wait yes he was…I was his Monday girl. Who knows who he was calling on tuesdays, wednesday,thursday,friday,saturday, and sunday. I’m not stupid. And yes sir you did mess up. You showed this girl you were not into her by being lazy instead of picking up the phone. Lesson learned. Quit texting her, she’s no longer interested, move on, do better.

  2. eLLe85 says:

    Thank you Ms. Cooper, I couldn’t have said it better. I had to read the dam thing several times before I understood what the hell he was talking about…we already know sometimes things don’t come across well in short written format-like emails, couple that with all this texting crap—I wish a ninja would text me back and forth to say he wants to tell me something. WHAT?! Do peeps not have unlimited call plans now a days or what?

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