The “Stupid Muthafucka!” Gene

As I read this post I thought about the Biography program my husband and I watched on Conrad Hilton. He spent most of his life unmarried because (1) his first wife left him because he was too busy launching businesses to nurture his family and (2) he was Catholic and they did not recognize marriages unless the previous spouse was dead. You have probably heard of how he danced and partied the nights away for decades. His son Nicky Hilton was a playboy party animal. He married Elizabeth Taylor. The marriage lasted two years. He died of a massive heart attack at 42 from hard party living. His brother is the grandfather of Paris Hilton. She went to jail once or twice. I don't know what kind of lives her father and grandfather lived. You just wonder. At least they were rich.

I tell my daughter this all the time because that SMF gene is strong!

When i was pregnant with her, the father was steeped in and raised on SMF -ish! I realized after waking from a dream thinking if he treats me bad, he'll treat the baby just the same. That was the moment I walked away from that relationship. He did try a come back but i was wearing my SMF reflector suit.

Now I can spot a SMF from 50 yards out and can dodge any shots fired. Low tolerance for SMF's, period!

However, I've noticed SMF syndrome in the child and marvel at the meltdowns she exhibits and know they're a direct result of the SMF gene inherited from the sperm donor. I feel bad for her at times because when she has these episodes it even perplexes her on why she is the way she is.

We've had counseling, testing and family intervention which allows her to express her negative emotions in order to purge them and find healthier alternatives. When non-violent alternatives don't work, well I get to pulling out my own SMF attitude and then the climate changes--- nobody can act more SMF than me when it comes to raising a child that needs to know it's place.

Low tolerance for SMF, for real!

Deborrah,

I AGREE WITH YOU. I've been thinking along similar lines, myself, as of late. As black people, we are discouraged from thinking this way (IMO), lest we be viewed as "snobbish", "siddity", or having a "superiority complex". But, I think it's VERY IMPORTANT to be selective about who you breed with. Not only because it has an impact on whether or not you/your child will be supported, but also because you will be giving your child the genetic composition of the person you select (or at least a portion of it).

Furthermore, I believe that irresponsible people (who do not care enough about their own offspring to provide for or protect them) do not deserve to have their line propelled forward into the future. They should be cut off, and their line should end with themselves.

It is not right for the resources of responsible and caring individuals to be diverted to propagating and enriching the lines of people who would not care for their own. Women (black women IN PARTICULAR) need to start thinking this way. Our choices not only impact the lives we live, but also the lives and realities of our children.

If we are capable of enriching another, we deserve someone who is capable of enriching us in kind. "Breeding" isn't just an act, IT'S A RESPONSIBILITY. And, we need to start thinking of it as such. Thanks for telling the truth about this matter.

One of my chosen big sisters told me once, "Never fuck a stupid man, because you'll end up with a house full of dumbass kids!"

While personality is inherited to a large extent, its a far more complicated thing than you're making it. There is no one "stupid muthafucka gene," or any gene for that matter that can be held responsible for an entire trait like being a "violent thug." Personality is polygenic, which means that exhibiting things like "non-dynamic, escapist behaviors" are expressed on a bunch of different genes, that are not all themselves expressed in the parent that contributes their genes.

Also, you need two sets of genes. With these genes being polygenic, they are mixed up between us between both of our parents. Its not as cut and dry as saying, "his daddy's a thug? well dang, we better take him down to the precinct now to get him in the system." That's not how it works.

Ultimately, just as important as genetics is environment. Someone might be more susceptible to certain things but his/her environment is the thing that brings it all out.

Re #1:

My medicine closet has Effexor, before that it was Prozac. I have Bipolar - Type II, which means I am a depressive with occasional light mania, and I am successfully medicated. There are similar meds in many relatives' medicine closets. This is why I decided long ago not to have any genetically related children.

I also decided, by the equally-yoked theory, that I should stick to successfully treated women with a history of emotional illness.

It doesn't make me a scrub, but it does deserve a good hard look by any potential LTRs. I don't resent that

Wishing you all progress.

This is also very amusing. I laughed out loud while reading this. We have all come in contact with people described in the different scenarios. I have to pass this along.