The Violence and Behavior of Black Men is Destroying Black America

| 01/23/2013 | Comments (24)

Wblack men arrested imprisonedhen one  really examines what is going on in the black community, what we are suffering – the violence, drugs, sexual assaults, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, fatherless confused children, AIDS/HIV, and high rates of joblessness are all the fault of black males.

Black men are destroying black women, black children, and the black community.

In actuality, when people say “people are destroying the black community,” it’s really a polite euphemism which fails to address the true cause of what is devastating us as a race – men.

What is required to turn things around? The answer is very simple – black males need to get their shit together and stop being stupid!

Stop killing.
Stop thinking screwing as many women as possible is an achievement worthy of a medal.
Stop abandoning and rejecting your children.
Stop thinking that going to prison is a rite of passage into manhood.
Stop thinking going to school makes you corny.
Stop molesting children.
Stop screwing women without birth control then abandoning the children you create.
Stop beating on women with your words and fists.
Stop accosting young girls on the street.
Stop teaching young males violence and disrespect for others.
Stop trying to pimp and use females for your financial benefit.
Stop thinking how you are dressed projects how you are as a person – it doesn’t make you better than a hoodrat, nor can you get street cred if you’re a buppie.
Stop wasting your money on $200 shoes and $10,000 rims when yo ass lives in the hood.

These behaviours represent a mentality that a great many young black males have, and until they change it, the black community will continue in its current downward spiral.

A second problem exists – black women that attempt to defend these men. These women claim that black men should not be blamed for the condition of the black community and that the burden is too heavy for them to bear alone so women should share in it.

Bullshit!

It may be a heavy burden, but it is the burden black men deserve to carry on their shoulders all by themselves, as every single thing mentioned there is THEIR FAULT.

Black men who behave in the manner described are making a choice to do so. No one is forcing them to rape or molest children- they choose to do that.
No one is forcing them to gun down people instead of talk that out in a civilized manner – they choose to do that.
No one is forcing them to sell drugs or do home invasions – they choose to do that.
No one is forcing them to forego use of condoms as birth control and protection from the spread of disease – they choose to do that.
No one is forcing them to abandon their children – they choose to do that.
No one is forcing them to drop out of school – they choose to do that.

And so on and so forth.

Black men are making a lot of very poor choices, and until they stop and begin to be the leaders they claim they are black men will continue to decline in wealth and social influence. Demanding that black women “follow” and “submit” to them means that black men will continue to attempt to feel tall by standing on the heads of black women. This also means that black women and children will experience the repercussions of black men’s self-destructive behaviours.

Stop demanding a woman freestyle with you then getting angry when she says no. Don’t be trying to “put it in just to see how it feels” or pulling off the condom when she isn’t looking so you can get a taste of it raw. No woman can contract an STD if the man she is sleeping with is responsible for making sure he doesn’t give her anything.

All of this starts and ends with men. Lead dammit!!! Stop whining and fucking LEAD your families and communities black men! It’s embarrassing to see thousands of men whining instead of rolling up their sleeves to make change. Whining, especially when said whining includes “but what about what WOMEN do!” is nothing but an attempt to dilute this message and take the blame off black men and place it on women. That is the typical response that black men do and it shows no sign of leadership, instead it shows weakness.

You know you fucked up, stand up like a man and own it! Take responsibility for it.

And instead of complaining about what President Obama doesn’t do for black people (who is just one person), complain instead about the millions of black men that lead their women, children and communities into hell and don’t seem to be the least bit bothered about it.

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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  1. Empress Fyah says:

    This problem goes back to the plantation when Willie lynch put his how to control a slave plan in place it left the black man in s state of hopelessness and insecurities within his manhood this is why he feels he must control his woman/family in a destructive nature this is what he’s been taught but instead of opening his mind n heart would rather take the easy road and remain stupified and stagnated within a nigger mentality and has become so comfortable in that set state he can’t see anything better the master has done his job at setting blacks against themselves and the pattern will never end as long as black males/ females continue to support this type of lucid behavior when there is no spiritual knowledge of the self then how is it expected that the children are to have any good sense they follow the examples set by the parents yes it is hard to break bad habits but it must be put forward in order to make a difference in ones lives yes black men get off your lazy asses n take hold of your families black women stop being a low life ghetto chick supporting the stupidity of these men it takes a real queen to stand by and uplift her king

  2. […] The Violence and Behavior of Black Men is Destroying Black America […]

  3. mzmeane says:

    Hmm…I wonder if she’d apply this article to this Zimmerman mess.

    • Deborrah says:

      That is one case. Sad, but it doesn’t change the fact that thousands of black people are killed every year by people that look just like them. How many black men killed other black folks that same week Zimmerman shot down Martin? HUNDREDS. So there is the answer to your question.

  4. zipporah says:

    now today CHICAGO is CHICAGOISTAN–and it seems like the WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT===thanks to the internet….and guess whooooo

    • blackcaesar says:

      zipporah It absolutely breaks my heart that the city of my birth, Chicago, has become the murder capital of the country.  Detroit, St. Louis, maybe, but Chicago is the nation’s 3rd most populous city and home to a disproportionately high number of black professionals and black middle class.  It just gets under my skin that although I would like to live in Chicago as an adult, that I’m afraid I’ll be caught in some crossfire unless I live in predominantly white Chicago neighborhoods.  Chicago had 506 homicides in 2012, while N.Y. had 414 and has 3 times Chicago’s population.

  5. 3rdeye says:

    I was just wondering who’s behind a “no good man”. Is it a no good woman? Could that be true if it was a no good mother, what if a woman abused him? What if a woman molested him? What if a woman pimped HIM out? What if he was hurt, lied to and manipulated by a woman? Does that affect his expectations of a female? Or does the woman get a pass because the misconception is that some no good man did those things to her? (Please understand that I am NOT making light of any situations where either the male or female is violated or abused) I only ask because I see that a lot or I see women saying behind a “good man is an even greater woman” or something similar…..so again I was just wondering what’s behind a so called no good man? So many use that quote as an effort to exonerate the woman from the consequences of their decisions. Why is it if a man is “great” it is because an even “greater woman” stand behind him…but if he is “no good” its all on him?

    • Deborrah says:

      3rdeye Abuse does happen to males and females. In the vast majority (statistics say over 90%) the abuser is another male. So again, the abuse is because of black men.  If he was lied to manipulated and hurt by a woman that is how it goes in the big city and amongst relationships. Men get hurt and women do too. Get over it.
      Women are trying to hold it down all by themselves and be mother AND father. If fathers don’t like how the mothers are doing, they can feel free to get off their asses and do some of or all of the work themselves. But we don’t see that happening, now do we? It’s easy to sit down and criticize the efforts someone else makes as not being up to your magical standards when you ain’t doing shit yourself.

  6. 3rdeye says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOiUAr3QEfA
    This is the problem, its the mothers of these men that ms.heart fail to include in her “focus on the problem”. Notice the kids and what they are seeing. They are seeing that it is ok to fight some random man in the street. If these kids dont see respect, they never will learn or no respect and grow into the killers, rapist and whatever else these is out there.

    Like I said, its the domination mother/matriarch that produces these men like factories, it takes 18 years to make these type of men, and bw are the best at doing it.

    -side note- The fastest growing group of people filling bankruptcies are BW, why do you think that is, cant blame bm on that one.

  7. icewindalpha says:

    SINCE WHEN have thugs been responsible or expected to be responsible. You would think that since a man has been labeled a thug that women would steer clear of him because he is trouble but that is NOT what’s been going on. A certain amount of women insist on trying to fit square pegs in round holes. Also, what did you think was going to happen in the absence of male leadership – something many black women DO NOT WANT – they just want male responsibility devoid of leadership which I can assure you they won’t get and as evidence has it they haven’t been getting, on top of the fact that the women NEVER CREATED OPPORTUNITIES FOR THEIR SONS despite claiming that they need to lead. I think too many black men were too satisfied with the jobs that whites gave them, and that was their mistake. They thought those jobs would always be there, however, women are no better, as a matter of fact worse because THEY create nothing, and don’t even realize the need to, but profess to be leaders in their communities. They have nothing set up for their sons who resort to a live of crime, and then blame fathers who they knew were incapable of teaching, building, creating, or passing anything onto their sons, most notably. BRILLIANT! Now please tell me again who is the dummy in that situation….bw are…

  8. 3rdeye says:

    This is the result of the matriarchy, this men come out of single-minded parent house holds. These are the men that bw create from the “SIBW” movement. One moment the author of this article denounces patriarchy, now she is complaining about the absence of a patriarchy. 

    Matriarchy does not work, and will never work because you all cannot check rogue males e.g. THUGS and DRUG DEALERS. The men you “BW” produce become more your enemy than the patriarchal men who only see to control what they are charged with building and establishing.

    • Deborrah says:

      3rdeye There is no matriarchy in the black community. Stop regurgitating nonsense you hear other idiots say that don’t know what they are talking about. If a woman is in charge of her household because the man left, that does not make it a matriarchy, it makes it a woman trying to hold it together as best she can.
      The tenets of a matriarchy are trifold and not ONE of them exist in the black community.

      n a complete matriarchy three main conditions are fulfilled:
      The hereditary succession is traced back in a matrilineal line (matrilineality).The residence is matrilocal. This means that female and male descendants live a lifetime in their mother’s kin.All essential goods such as land, houses, animals and fruits are in
      women’s hands; normally with the head of the clan or the matriarch.
      If one of the conditions mentioned above is missing, it indicates the beginning of patriarchy.
      Classic matriarchal societies can be characterized on four levels:
      Economic Level – societies of economic reciprocity

      Agricultural societiesGoods such as house and land are distributed according to a system
      that is identical with the lines of kinship; they are never private
      propertyFood resources are in women’s handsPermanently balanced exchange of essential goods
      Social level – non-hierarchical, horizontal societies of matrilineal kinship
      Matriarchal kinships which are formed according to the principles of matrilineality and matrilocalityMutual marriage between two clans (with supplements)Practice of visiting marriageSocial paternity instead of natural paternityNon-hierarchical, horizontal societies
      Political level – egalitarian societies of consensus
      Consensus building in the clan-houseConsensus building on village and clan level. The delegates who are discussing the matter are not the ones who make the decisionNo class of rulers and no class of suppressed people
      Cultural level – sacred societies and cultures of the Goddess
      Belief in rebirth related to the clanAncestor worshipWorship of Mother Earth and a female understood cosmosImminent divinityNo double moralsSymbolisation of life and actions

      • 3rdeye says:

        Deborrah3rdeye 
        Two pronouns that we as women love to use are “he” and “we”. Let me give you some examples.
        “HE aint shyt!”
        “HE” aint got a job!”
        “HE is the reason the Black Family is in its condition”
        “HE” is at fault”,
        “HE needs to get his shyt together”
        You get where I am going with this?
        Now when the mirror is held up to the Black Woman, enter in the “we”.
        “WE need to work together”
        “WE have both been damaged by the same system”
        “WE” need HIS help…..though WE didn’t offer to help him.
        Let me introduce a new pronoun; YOU!
        YOU need to start looking at self. YOU need to check yourself for
        continued patterns of destructive behavior. YOU need to start taking
        accountability for YOUR decisions for the MEN you have allowed both in
        your body, mind, heart and spirit. YOU need to look in the mirror and if
        YOU don’t like what you see, then YOU need to make the necessary
        changes so that YOU can be pleased with BOTH your inner and outer
        reflection.

        -nojma reflects-

        • Deborrah says:

          You men are responsible for the shit you do. No one else. So a woman mistakenly thinks she can love you in spite of your wasted life form, she is being loving and not hating your ignorance like someone like me would. I wouldn’t have time to even spit on a fool if he were in flames. No interest. Would probably squirt him with lighter fluid so he would burn faster.
          So all that YOU stuff you are talking about needs to be replaced with YOU BLACK MALES. Once you do that and you black males actually are worth something, then you can be trusted to lead. Until then you need to sit down somewhere and stay out of the way of black women and real MEN with some sense that are trying to do something positive.

    • Razzy says:

      3rdeye “This is the result of matriarchy”…
      If it were a true matriarchy, the state of the black community wouldn’t be in the bad shape it is in today. I don’t think you have an understanding of what constitutes a matriarchal society.

  9. RichardAnthonyTurner says:

    This is stupid. Most black kids are not rape babies thus two consenting people made the little boy. Why are women attracted to these people? Black men need to step up but if your sons who are mostly raised by a woman hates women may be the mother needs look at what she is doing and showing him. If black women stop having sex with these shitty dudes the line would stop or it would be a bunch half black/asian/latino/or white trifling dudes. Black people are fucked up as a group which leads to the poor couplings that spawn kids who reproduce the cycle.

    • blackcaesar says:

      RichardAnthonyTurner Amen brother!

    • MaggieGreen says:

      RichardAnthonyTurner You know alot of these men learn to hate women not from their mothers but other black men of the community.. Alot of these young men listen to the advice of other men.

    • zipporah says:

      I know this mess of women being into S&M emotionally is rather new post 1980s–because there are so many–its embarrassing with the “Brown boys’. Chris and Bobby seem like Ike turner revived…..sigh

    • Deborrah says:

      RichardAnthonyTurner  If the son hates black men it is because the example for manhood set by his sorry daddy disgusts him. It has nothing to do with the mother and everything to do with the father not being there to SHOW HIS SON WHAT KIND OF MAN HE IS. Every man, no matter his professional or education, has the capacity to turn out to be a shitty man when it comes to fathering his child. We see it all the time. White men, black men all of you are the same there.

  10. blackcaesar says:

    You were spot on about black men killing the black community.  Black men do it through guns, sex  (especially those “down low” brothers out of jail who parade around acting so macho with their pants sagging–it kills me how black women think they’re so macho and they’re gay 1/2 the time), teaching younger black men the ways of self-destruction by gang initiation, etc…  One of the nice things about living in a predominantly white setting is that you can get away from the utter dysfunctionality of black people to some extent.  I’ve never heard the word “nigga” uttered so much around anywhere like I have when around black people.  Even degrading language is a way of killing.  It’s a way of killing one’s sense of self worth and I would wager that more of that kind of language is spewed from black men towards black women and towards other black men even more than it is from white people towards black people.  The black culture is an underachieving culture that at its worst takes pride in underachieving (rejection of intellectuality and academics).  I’m so happy you wrote this article and wish you would get back on the air so I can listen to some more of your shows.

    • zipporah says:

      I tell these girls ALL THE TIME–that this SAGGIN NONSENSE usually, sometimes, means he could be on da DOWN LOW no matter what color,….heck even SHAWTY LO could be on it wid Da men…what kind of name is that for one of those males anyway–c/rappers are MALES not necessarily men (some rappers are men if they have another line of work like engineering?-guys who drive earthmoving tractors are engineers too )..dont SHAWTY mean a FEMALE? and does LO mean DOWN LOW?

      • MaggieGreen says:

        zipporah lol I have no idea but I have to say trashy women date trashy men and vice versa so typically these women have nothing coming to the table either.

        • Deborrah says:

          MaggieGreen zipporah  Wrong. Many really nice women date trashy men becasue they think they can fix them, save them, make him a project and make him over. Women love projects and believe that mess about women “nurturing” and “supporting” her man. So she buys into his potential (which he probably does have somewhere in there), and tries to push him to greatness. But since his talk was just that and he has no intention of actually DOING anything of merit, she wastes years of her life wishing and hoping he will become the man she dreams he can be. See it all the time. Together women with trifling loser dudes that never get it together.
          So your assessment that only trashy women date trashy men and vice versa is 100% wrong.

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