What Do Men Say Is “Sexy?”
Women dress, walk, talk and adorn themselves in ways that they think will be attractive to the opposite sex. Throughout history women have subjected themselves to painful rituals in order to be considered sexy and desirable by men.
The ancient Japanese bound the feet of female children to keep them small. This sexy binding crippled the women so that they could not walk.
Various tattoos and markings have been used in Pacific Island and other cultures around the world to adorn the skin of the body.
Africans inserted stones in lips and earlobes, stretching them out of shape. In other African tribes, long thin necks were thought to be beautiful, so the women wore rings around their necks to stretch them (the more rings, the longer the neck and therefore the more desirable the woman).
In the U.S., women go on extreme diets to get thin; pierce lips, eyes, nostrils and nipples; or endure surgical procedures like breast enlargements, tummy tucks, Botox injections, face lifts and body waxing because they think men will find these physical modifications to be sexier.
Women will also roll leave their homes with their rear ends out and everything showing. They think this is sexy and the only way to get a man’s attention.
With the competition for men so fierce among women, just what is a girl to do? She wants to attract and keep a good man that finds her exciting. So just what DO men say is sexy?
What Do Guys Say is Sexy?
One guy spent a month in Egypt in the late 1990s, where the women wore long black burkas, exposing nothing but their eyes to the public.
He reported “The eyes are the most powerful attraction that a woman has, but that’s mainly used in close-range encounters. Things like hair, clothes and body catch a man’s interest from far away. Eye color is not the most important thing. I think eye shape maybe. A man can drown in the right pair of eyes. The eyes are extremely sexy, and I left Egypt very hot and bothered and I’d seen nothing but EYES!”
One young guy wrote “a woman with a job and her OWN MONEY is the sexiest thing I can think of!” Seemed to get his blood boiling just to think about it.
“Women with gorgeous bodies and tiny little love handles is sexy.”
“A natural and warm smile is almost like a hug – it’s very welcoming. Fake or strained smiles don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing sexier than a black woman – it’s just the way they are. A nice smile, a pleasant speaking voice, and meat on da bone! I can’t stand no skinny women!”
“I like women that are about 20 lbs over the weight on those insurance charts. I even like a little cellulite on firm shapely thighs. I like my woman to LOOK LIKE A WOMAN, not a twig.” This letter came in from a Texan. I guess it’s true that they like everything bigger down there!
“A really nice scent on a woman circumvents all of that higher-level thinking and reaches men in a very visceral place. It shouldn’t be too strong or too subtle. A woman has to find the right perfume for her body chemistry.”
“A woman’s voice is very sexy to me.”
“All I can say is that these women walking around here all bony need to remember what dogs do to bones; they knaw on them and then bury them.”
“A sharp wit balanced with an elegant demeanor is very sexy.”
“A woman who feels sexy about herself, or who is sensual and confident is very sexy!”
Many men wrote and expressed a sentiment that is the direct opposite of the belief many women hold about their clothing – or lack thereof. Most men expressed the opposite sentiment: “Even though we like to LOOK, that doesn’t mean it stirs me in the place a woman wants me to be stirred which is my heart!”
Another young man held a similar viewpoint: “Understated vs. overstated is sexy…leave something to my imagination ladies. The possibility and the calculation is what men like.”
“I’m a blue-eyed blonde, but I find women with dark, dark skin that glows in the sunlight to be ridiculously sexy.”
Another dreadlocked, dashiki wearing brother complained that Black women need to stop applying what they see in the mainstream media to themselves in relation to beauty, fashion, body image and as the criteria to judge what is or is not sexy.
What Is Definitely NOT Sexy?
“Not sexy at all is someone who tries too hard to be sexy! Don’t wiggle around and be so obvious with yourself. I had a woman come stand in front of me and bend over to pick up a pack of cigarettes she dropped. It was just nasty. Makes a woman look bad when they do all that.”
“Eager to please, bringing attention to themselves, always wanting to do the right thing, or just plain doting is definitely not sexy!”
“Women with all them damn muscles. Hey, if I wanted to sleep with a hard body, I’d be gay! Women are supposed to be shapely, with softness and curves. I don’t want somebody with yokes like me!”
In summary, it seems the qualities guys value as sexy are:
- Confidence
- High self-esteem (a woman that values herself)
- A winning smile
- A smooth voice
- Feminine curves that are toned and firm
- Definitely not skinny
- Intelligent with a witty sense of humor
Got it ladies?
So put some clothes on and work on demonstrating the qualities above if you want guys to really find you sexy!
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
Got em all but one. Working on that self-esteem. My confidence has shot through the roof since I found your web-sites last night. Even reading through the post & seeing myself in too many of the letters & questions sent in to ya for advice, I haven’t sunk into a funky mood. I just told myself that leaving his ass last Friday was INDEED the right choice. Recoiling from a narcissist can be brutal. I went through that when I broke away last year dazed & confused, not even having an idea of what I had been dealing with. That is when I educated myself surfing for info on-line. I did the no contact for 7months & was bouncing back. I should have never answered the phone this past Sept. Tom-my cell# is changing, I’m cutting my landline off & I’m moving on the 1st of the month. I feel good. I feel free! Thank you. I also know that it is okay to take some time out for me! But hey-I can still be looking good. Right?