Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
Could give me your perspective on men who are always late for dates? I’m asking because I’m having disagreement with one my girlfriends. She says its okay, and as long as he shows up it’s fine. I say when he comes late without calling, there is a problem.
A guy I recently kicked to the curb was always late. I mean ALWAYS. At least an hour every time. To me he did not respect my time. This and other flaws he had caused me to stop dating him within 2 months. I would say okay be here at noon the food will be here. He would show up at 2:30 or 3 p.m.
Now I know you want to know if we are young and silly teens or something, but the answer is no. He is 32 years old! His excuses for why he was late would be lame… he had to stop by WalMart and get something or he had to go drop off a bill. Some things you might need to know is he is 32, but lives with an aunt and works a part-time job and he’s an Army veteran?!
My girlfriend thinks that I let a good man go because he was always late for dates, but in my opinion he was a straight loser because a man that doesn’t respect my time doesn’t respect me! I don’t know if you’ve already done an article on this but I’d like to know your thoughts. Thank you for your insight and calling to empower women!
Time Waits for No Man
Dear No Waiting:
While growing up, I’d frequently hear my grandfather say to my teenaged aunts “if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything!” Though my cousins and I were all in grade school at the time and too young to date, he was already trying to teach us the importance of establishing boundaries and standards for the people in our lives with respect to how we would allow ourselves to be treated.
With that said, I can flatly state that your friend has no standards and has the attitude of a desperate woman. She is wrong and you are correct.
In any situation adults are expected to be punctual or there would be repercussions. Let’s go over some examples.
- If you showed up an hour late for every doctor appointment, what would happen? You wouldn’t get seen, that’s what!
- If you showed up an hour late for work every day, what would happen? You would get written up and eventually fired, that’s what!
- If you showed up an hour late for your reservations at a hot new restaurant, what would happen? You would get laughed at and shown the door, that’s what!
- If you showed up an hour late for the departure of your plane to Jamaica, what would happen? You would be either sitting there on vacation at the airport looking stupid, or paying that $150 change fee, that’s what!
- If you showed up an hour late for school every day, what would happen? You would behaving a talk with the truant officer and get detention or worst, that’s what!
The amazing thing is that men like him are never late for things that are important to THEM, which is how I have learned that they can be on time when they want to be. And if you as a woman are important to a man, he will be right on time or if he is running late your phone will ring as he gives you a turn by turn report of how far away. He doesn’t want you to be upset and he wants you to be very clear on the fact that he is on his way to you!In other words, I’ve never seen a man that truly wants to be with or around a certain woman treat her callously by always being late for dates.
Most guys try really hard to make a good impression at least at first. This guy is making no such effort and not even trying to pretend. I can only conclude that this fella “just wasn’t that into you” which means you did the right thing by removing him from your world early in the “relationship”. Good job!Bottom line: there is no reason for a woman to hang on, repeatedly complaining about a man’s lateness, begging him to call if he is running late, being frustrated, trying to “work things out” and all that. Grown women should not be willing to waste their time trying to teach grown men to be responsible adults. Remember, he had a Mama, and it wasn’t you.
You are a young woman in your 30s, dating to find a good fit and select a lifetime mate. A man that comes in the door clowning can only expect to show more of his ass as the months pass. It really makes a lot more sense to just get rid of a fool and find someone else. You should be dating a man that rushes home from work to clean up, then flies out the door trying to get to you as quickly as possible.
Why would any woman willingly settle for less?
Category: Dating Advice