Comments on: What Makes a Man Afraid of Commitment? http://survivingdating.com/what-makes-a-man-afraid-of-commitment Making Smarter Choices in Your Search for Love Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:20:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Deborrah http://survivingdating.com/what-makes-a-man-afraid-of-commitment/comment-page-1#comment-410 Deborrah Tue, 25 May 2010 06:20:07 +0000 http://survivingdating.com/?p=551#comment-410 In this case young lady, you are the passive avoider. The feelings you claim to have for a man that cannot return them now or probably ever is shocking. You cannot worry about the past this man or any other had because you are not a magician and don't have the power to ease his pain or change his mindset. Everything he did - from using drugs to doing criminal activities - are things he CHOSE TO DO. No one made him, he chose that path. You are confusing a marriage between a husband and wife with that of a man and woman with no real commitment or ties. You and this guy have no bonds. You have no legal or other ties to him. Yet you want to be by his side through thick and thin? Sadly, this is a common behavior pattern with Black women raised in Christian environments. Always willing to sacrifice themselves, you ladies give and give and give to men that have no intention or ability to give back. You are focusing on the fantasy of what you think his capabilities are, but you have no evidence of that, nothing he has done proves in the slightest that this guy has even one drop of the abilities you dream he has. Please take a listen to my broadcasts which address this subject and the need some Black women have to "save" grown ass men. <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat/2010/04/26/black-women-and-marriage--part-2" rel="nofollow">Black Women And Marriage - Part 2</a>. The part about wasting your time waiting for him to be the man you want him to be is discussed in detail around the 10 minute mark and goes for about 10-11 minutes. In this case young lady, you are the passive avoider. The feelings you claim to have for a man that cannot return them now or probably ever is shocking. You cannot worry about the past this man or any other had because you are not a magician and don’t have the power to ease his pain or change his mindset. Everything he did – from using drugs to doing criminal activities – are things he CHOSE TO DO. No one made him, he chose that path.

You are confusing a marriage between a husband and wife with that of a man and woman with no real commitment or ties. You and this guy have no bonds. You have no legal or other ties to him. Yet you want to be by his side through thick and thin?

Sadly, this is a common behavior pattern with Black women raised in Christian environments. Always willing to sacrifice themselves, you ladies give and give and give to men that have no intention or ability to give back. You are focusing on the fantasy of what you think his capabilities are, but you have no evidence of that, nothing he has done proves in the slightest that this guy has even one drop of the abilities you dream he has.

Please take a listen to my broadcasts which address this subject and the need some Black women have to “save” grown ass men.

Black Women And Marriage – Part 2. The part about wasting your time waiting for him to be the man you want him to be is discussed in detail around the 10 minute mark and goes for about 10-11 minutes.

]]> By: antoinette hall http://survivingdating.com/what-makes-a-man-afraid-of-commitment/comment-page-1#comment-136 antoinette hall Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:55:25 +0000 http://survivingdating.com/?p=551#comment-136 WOW! I HAVE READ A LOT ON THIS SUBJECT AND YOU SEEM TO BE THE BEST AT EXPLAINING WHAT MAKES A MAN AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. I HAD BEEN IN SEVERAL FAILED RELATIONSHIPS, AND MY LAST HUSBAND PASSED AWAY FROM CANCER. I AM NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON TO GET INVOLVED IN CASUAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. I FEEL THAT I AM WASTING MY TIME NOT GIVING MY ALL IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND I NEED TO HAVE LOVE FOR THE MAN I GET INVOLVED WITH. I CAN NOT DO FLINGS, AND ONE NIGHT AFFAIRS AND THREESOMES. I GOT INVOLVED WITH A YOUNGER MAN THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. AT FIRST HE SEEM LIKE THE IDEA PARTNER HE WAS EVERYTHING THAT ANY WOMAN WOULD WANT IN A MAN EXCEPT HE WAS HARD ON HIS LUCK, AND HE WAS VERY SECRETIVE AND HAD CONSTANTLY LIED ME. HE BEGAN ASKING FOR THINGS AND MAKING PROMISES THAT HE WOULD NEVER KEEP. BECAUSE I HAD A DEEP CARING AND LOVE FOR HIM I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP HIM IN ANYWAY I COULD. THE PAIN AND STRESS BECAME TOO MUCH AND THE RELATIONSHIP ALMOST ENDED. LATER I LEARNED THAT HE WAS LIVING IN A SOBER LIVING HOUSE AND HAD BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW. MY FRIEND WAS ASHAME OF HIS LIFE. I WOULD SEE HIS SISTER OFTEN BUT NEVER KNEW IT WAS HIS SISTER BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD CRACK ADDICTS. I AM A GO GETTER AND I OWN PROPERTIES, BUT I DO NOT DRIVE. WHEN EVER I WOULD SEE HIM HE WOULD ALWAYS ACT AS IF HE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE ME. THERE WAS NOTHING THAT I WOULD NOT DO FOR THIS MAN, AND I STILL LOVE HIM. I BELIEVE THAT HE HAS HAD A LOT OF PAIN AND SUFFERING IN HIS LIFE AND IS AFRAID TO TRUST ANYONE. HE HAD BEEN IN RELATIONSHIPS WHERE THE WOMEN HAD HURTED HIM SEVERELY AND HAD TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM. THEY HAD TOLD HIM HE WAS NOTHING , HE FEELS WORTHLESS AND FEARS THAT I AM LYING AND PLAYING GAMES. I NEVER ASK HIM FOR ANYTHING BECAUSE HE IS TRYING TO GET HIS LIFE IN ORDER, ACTUALLY I WOULD HELP HIM WHENEVER I CAN AND WOULD CONTINUE TO HELP HIM IF HE NEEDS IT. THIS MAN IS ACTUALLY A BEAUTIFUL MAN, HE IS VERY SENSITIVE, CARING AND KIND. HE HAS BEEN IN TEARS TALKING ABOUT HIS LIFE SITUATIONS MANY TIMES. HE HAS A PIECE OF MY HEART, AND I FEEL SORRY AND SAD FOR HIM. I COULD BE WITH MANY OTHER MEN BUT I CHOSE HIM BECAUSE HE NEEDS ME, AND I BELIEVE THAT HE IS WAITING FOR ME TO THROW IN THE TOWEL AND ABANDON HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS. BUT I WILL WAIT UNTIL HE MAKE THE DECISIONS TO EITHER BREAK OFF THE RELATIONSHIP OR MAKE SOMETYPE OF COMMITTMENT. I DO NOT SEE MYSELF BEING WITH ANYONE ELSE, SO I HAVE TIME TO JUST WAIT. I WAS NOT ALWAYS THIS WAY, IF THE RELATIONSHIP DID NOT LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS I WOULD JUST MOVE ON. BUT I HAVE PRAYED AND LOOK AT AN EXAMPLE OF HOW MY PARENT STAYED MARRIED FOR 60 YEARS, IT WAS NOT EASY. MY MOTHER LOVE MY FATHER INSPITE OF HIS DOWN FALLS, SHE WOULD OFTEN TELL ME THAT I DID NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. SHE WOULD SAY ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH SUFFERING FOR. SHE WAS VERY MORAL AND ONLY HAD ONE MAN IN HER ENTIRE LIFE, SHE MARRIED MY FATHER PUT UP WITH HIS INFIDELITIES, DRINKING, AND LYING, AND EVENTUALLY MY FATHER BECAME A MINISTER, A GREAT PROVIDER AND WAS WELL LOVED BY ALL HIS FAMILY AND HAD MANY FRIENDS. A LOT OF MEN ARE INFLUENCED BY THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY THEY CAN SWAY THEM , IF THEY ARE DOING BAD THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL EITHER . I LOOK BEYOND ALL OF MY FRIEND'S INPERFECTIONS AND LOOK INTO HIS HEART TO SEE WHO HE TRULY IS AND WHAT HE CAN BECOME. HE IS IN A LOT OF PAIN, AND HE HAS USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL TO COVER IT UP. WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU WILL BE THERE RIGHT BY THEIR SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN. WOW! I HAVE READ A LOT ON THIS SUBJECT AND YOU SEEM TO BE THE BEST AT EXPLAINING WHAT MAKES A MAN AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. I HAD BEEN IN SEVERAL FAILED RELATIONSHIPS, AND MY LAST HUSBAND PASSED AWAY FROM CANCER. I AM NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON TO GET INVOLVED IN CASUAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. I FEEL THAT I AM WASTING MY TIME NOT GIVING MY ALL IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND I NEED TO HAVE LOVE FOR THE MAN I GET INVOLVED WITH. I CAN NOT DO FLINGS, AND ONE NIGHT AFFAIRS AND THREESOMES.
I GOT INVOLVED WITH A YOUNGER MAN THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. AT FIRST HE SEEM LIKE THE IDEA PARTNER HE WAS EVERYTHING THAT ANY WOMAN WOULD WANT IN A MAN EXCEPT HE WAS HARD ON HIS LUCK, AND HE WAS VERY SECRETIVE AND HAD CONSTANTLY LIED ME.
HE BEGAN ASKING FOR THINGS AND MAKING PROMISES THAT HE WOULD NEVER KEEP. BECAUSE I HAD A DEEP CARING AND LOVE FOR HIM I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP HIM IN ANYWAY I COULD.
THE PAIN AND STRESS BECAME TOO MUCH AND THE RELATIONSHIP ALMOST ENDED. LATER I LEARNED THAT HE WAS LIVING IN A SOBER LIVING HOUSE AND HAD BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW. MY FRIEND WAS ASHAME OF HIS LIFE.
I WOULD SEE HIS SISTER OFTEN BUT NEVER KNEW IT WAS HIS SISTER BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD CRACK ADDICTS.
I AM A GO GETTER AND I OWN PROPERTIES, BUT I DO NOT DRIVE. WHEN EVER I WOULD SEE HIM HE WOULD ALWAYS ACT AS IF HE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE ME.
THERE WAS NOTHING THAT I WOULD NOT DO FOR THIS MAN, AND I STILL LOVE HIM. I BELIEVE THAT HE HAS HAD A LOT OF PAIN AND SUFFERING IN HIS LIFE AND IS AFRAID TO TRUST ANYONE. HE HAD BEEN IN RELATIONSHIPS WHERE THE WOMEN HAD HURTED HIM SEVERELY AND HAD TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM. THEY HAD TOLD HIM HE WAS NOTHING , HE FEELS WORTHLESS AND FEARS THAT I AM LYING AND PLAYING GAMES. I NEVER ASK HIM FOR ANYTHING BECAUSE HE IS TRYING TO GET HIS LIFE IN ORDER, ACTUALLY I WOULD HELP HIM WHENEVER I CAN AND WOULD CONTINUE TO HELP HIM IF HE NEEDS IT. THIS MAN IS ACTUALLY A BEAUTIFUL MAN, HE IS VERY SENSITIVE, CARING AND KIND. HE HAS BEEN IN TEARS TALKING ABOUT HIS LIFE SITUATIONS MANY TIMES. HE HAS A PIECE OF MY HEART, AND I FEEL SORRY AND SAD FOR HIM. I COULD BE WITH MANY OTHER MEN BUT I CHOSE HIM BECAUSE HE NEEDS ME, AND I BELIEVE THAT HE IS WAITING FOR ME TO THROW IN THE TOWEL AND ABANDON HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS. BUT I WILL WAIT UNTIL HE MAKE THE DECISIONS TO EITHER BREAK OFF THE RELATIONSHIP OR MAKE SOMETYPE OF COMMITTMENT. I DO NOT SEE MYSELF BEING WITH ANYONE ELSE, SO I HAVE TIME TO JUST WAIT. I WAS NOT ALWAYS THIS WAY, IF THE RELATIONSHIP DID NOT LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS I WOULD JUST MOVE ON. BUT I HAVE PRAYED AND LOOK AT AN EXAMPLE OF HOW MY PARENT STAYED MARRIED FOR 60 YEARS, IT WAS NOT EASY. MY MOTHER LOVE MY FATHER INSPITE OF HIS DOWN FALLS, SHE WOULD OFTEN TELL ME THAT I DID NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. SHE WOULD SAY ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH SUFFERING FOR. SHE WAS VERY MORAL AND ONLY HAD ONE MAN IN HER ENTIRE LIFE, SHE MARRIED MY FATHER PUT UP WITH HIS INFIDELITIES, DRINKING, AND LYING, AND EVENTUALLY MY FATHER BECAME A MINISTER, A GREAT PROVIDER AND WAS WELL LOVED BY ALL HIS FAMILY AND HAD MANY FRIENDS. A LOT OF MEN ARE INFLUENCED BY THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY THEY CAN SWAY THEM , IF THEY ARE DOING BAD THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL EITHER . I LOOK BEYOND ALL OF MY FRIEND’S INPERFECTIONS AND LOOK INTO HIS HEART TO SEE WHO HE TRULY IS AND WHAT HE CAN BECOME. HE IS IN A LOT OF PAIN, AND HE HAS USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL TO COVER IT UP. WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU WILL BE THERE RIGHT BY THEIR SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN.

]]> By: VandeNikhilam USA » What Makes a Man Afraid of Commitment? | Living The Single Life http://survivingdating.com/what-makes-a-man-afraid-of-commitment/comment-page-1#comment-62 VandeNikhilam USA » What Makes a Man Afraid of Commitment? | Living The Single Life Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:13:01 +0000 http://survivingdating.com/?p=551#comment-62 [...] is women are AFRAID of being abandoned and behave accordingly, … Go here to read the rest: What Makes a Man Afraid of Commitment? | Living The Single Life This entry is filed under Commitment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS [...] [...] is women are AFRAID of being abandoned and behave accordingly, … Go here to read the rest: What Makes a Man Afraid of Commitment? | Living The Single Life This entry is filed under Commitment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS [...]

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