What Turns Women Off? Scary Ass Men That Are Afraid of Rejection

. 09/04/2012 . 13 Comments

On my recent Facebook discussion, I asked a “what would you do?” type question…

There is a guy you keep interacting with socially that you find attractive. You want to go out with him. But he keeps hanging back and not asking for your number nor is he asking you out. He’s 100% single, definitely heterosexual and always friendly when you see each other… he is just not making a move. You find out some weeks later from a mutual acquaintance that he is interested, but waiting for YOU to ask HIM out. What do you do?

Most of the females responding said they would not do it because it indicates that the man is weak. The women, many in their 30s and 40s, understand the dynamics of male/female relationships as a mature woman, and know from experience that doing the work FOR a man in the beginning sets the stage for you to have to do the work throughout the relationship which was very unsatisfying for them. However, many of the guys didn’t like that answer.

Some of the guys came back with “well that is why you women are single” and “that is why you women get dogged by players and don’t go for the GOOD men!” and “these are new times and you women are just like men and you need to go for the man you want.” One even said that “Why he gotta be weak because he won’t step to you? Women don’t do no more then men now days and it is ok to go after what you want. A so called strong man is not always the best man.a strong man is not always the best man.” That is all male logic dictating what women should do to make males too lazy, too afraid, or gaming hard on women do what they want women to do. In other words, they want women to make their life easy and stress free, and to do all the work to get the relationship going.

But we are not talking about what MEN think. The question was asked of women how they would handle a male that was cordial and with whom they interacted frequently, and though the woman heard the man was interested, he never made a move to ask for her number or to ask her out. The question asked WOMEN what they would do and how they would feel about such a man.

So how guys felt about the women’s distaste for asking a man out was irrelevant. Unless a man is gay and looking to hook up with other men, what you think about how women develop respect and romantic interest in a man doesn’t really count. Obviously if you knew what you were doing, you would have one or more women interested in you. Since you are angry that women won’t approach you, that is very telling about your romantic life.

So when we women are telling you what WE NEED to make the pussy wet, you need to listen. And if we have to go after you and chase you down and ask you out and get your number, the pussy does not get wet. Having to ask you turns women off. And it puts the woman in the role of being “the man” and that does not inspire passionate desire in a female.

Now if you want some ass, you want a girlfriend, you want wife, you want someone to love and to love you – then you need to step up. Yes, you may be rejected a time or two but no one ever died from getting turned down. That fear is keeping you alone and at home single dudes.  Your fear of rejection turns women off.

That is why the “good” men sit at home stroking their own Johnson on Saturday night while the “players” are out getting some tail. You think your goodness is something women want, that turns women on. It doesn’t… in fact, it turns women off. Women want to feel that a man is attracted to them and that his desire for her will motivate him to overcome his fears.

Reality check: if you are a scary type of guy that sees rejection and failure everywhere, then you are, in a woman’s eyes, a weak man. You lack confidence, you have low self-esteem, and your fears rule your life. Women do not find you attractive no matter how handsome and built up you may be. You will ultimately turn her off.

No woman wants a scary ass man! And a strong man IS the best man if a woman wants her pussy to be wet. You don’t have to believe it and all your logic in the world won’t change the fact that confidence turns women on, and indecisiveness, scariness and weakness in men turns women off.

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Men's Issues


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