Female Submission – Why Weak Men Want Submissive Women

. 10/05/2009 . 58 Comments

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Religion and Female Submission

As I’ve said before in The Male Struggle to Control Female Sexuality, the religious tenets of male superiority are a tool men use to control women, make them predictable and malleable so that men can feel more secure about what a woman does with her vagina. That is the whole purpose of all these rules and the desire for a “submissive” woman you know… to provide the male with sexual services when he wants them, and assurances that the vagina he calls his really is under his power and control. He wants to know where his vagina is at all times, who has access to it, and that no one is getting in it but him.

The brainwashing of females by men in their lives such as fathers and pastors, deacons and ministers is complete when women make statements such as those expressed in the video. It is not in a woman’s “nature” to be anything but great and powerful self-actualizing citizens of the world! Yet various cultures and religions have limited female options and choices based strictly on gender. Women of today, their mothers, and their mother’s mothers have all been socialized by men to believe that males are superior and that females should subjugate themselves to them.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Women are powerful, smart, strong creatures, emotionally resilient, caring, and in touch with themselves and others emotionally. Women are by far the stronger of the sexes in every way but physically; and if a woman weight trains, even that is a 50/50 proposition.

Black men especially seem to have a difficult time with the concept of equality in a relationship and are the biggest fans of female submission. I believe this is due to the widespread belief in and adherence to Christianity in the Black community. The desire for a submissive woman may also be due to the fact that many Black men feel powerless in society, so they seek to feel in control and powerful at home. It makes sense, but sorry! Not gonna happen.

Female Submission is a Joke

No woman (but especially Black women), have a need to be submissive to men on any level, at any time. And ladies, if you meet a Brotha that believes the only way the two of you can have a happy relationship is for you to submit and turn over your power to him, you need to seriously consider passing on him. What is it that you would be exchanging your self-worth for? Where would his quest for power and control over you end? I’ve known men to refuse to allow their women to wear certain clothes, hang with her friends, or even to wear makeup. They refuse to allow her to work outside the home, have her own money, or go back to school. He places himself in the role of decider of all things concerning his woman and the household; he decides what is best for her and what he wants to happen with HIS woman.

I actually feel that this is one of the top reasons so many Black women are single. Black women are educated and accomplished, at a ratio of at least 3 to 1 over Black men. A solid sistah has no need to play that silly submission game. Though Black women do want a husband and family, no one wants to be treated like a second class citizen at home! We get enough of that crap from Whites and other races in the workplace and out in the world. There is nothing attractive about being a strong, educated, loving woman of strength and character that has to hide behind a mask of bland church-going goodness to secure a mate. There is no value in dumbing yourself down to assuage a man’s fragile ego.

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Giving in to submissiveness would mean that he feels powerful and in control while you allow him to chip away at your self-worth. To make him shine you hide the important parts of yourself (the parts you love and that make you YOU), just so he can feel good about himself and his shaky sense of manhood.

Eventually, the broken piece of woman that is left depressed with her spirit shattered will make a last-ditch effort to save herself by seeking refuge in a bottle of antidepressants, a fifth of Vodka, a dozen donuts, or the arms of another man.

This sad outcome can be easily prevented by thinking now about what you need before you sign onto any type of relationship. Do not base your choice of man on the expectations of the religion you’ve followed since childhood, or what your parents think is good, or what your friends think is right. YOU decide for yourself. Don’t choose a man out of obligation or desperation to marry either.  Give serious thought to what man is going to make you happy long-term then go out and find THAT man. Never settle for less and do not change yourself to meet his fantasy of a perfect woman. Always do you.

(continued on page 3 below)

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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