Why Women Should Stop Having Children
It is my contention that every woman in the world of childbearing age should immediately get her tubes tied or get on birth control of the highest quality, and stay on it for the duration of her childbearing years. Apparently, most men are not qualified mentally to handle the responsibility, obligations nor constraints associated with fatherhood, to have the emotional intelligence to understand the need to be kind and respectful to their children and the mothers of said children, nor do they possess the intelligence and financial acumen to understand the fiscal and emotional costs of raising a child to adulthood.
No, it appears that the majority of men in the world are too stupid to deserve to be fathers and therefore, this is a privilege that women should unilaterally deny them.
I am confident in my stance for many reasons that have become clear to me over the past year or so spent speaking with and analyzing men, their rigid thinking when it comes to gender roles in modern relationships, and their negative behaviors towards women and children. Let me give you some examples:
- Men rape females. If no more females are born, they would be forced to rape each other instead.
- Men kill women and children. If no more females or children are born, they would be forced to kill only each other instead.
- Men sexually abuse children of both genders. Children have value to the majority of these guys only as possessions – something they can play with and use for their own selfish gratification and means. This is evidenced by the high number of child rapes, child molestation, children used for sexual activities in many Third World countries and even here in the United States, and the children held as sex slaves by freaks worldwide.
- Men have no respect for female children. Impregnation by adult males of minor female children is tragic. I’ve observed older guys hanging out in their cars near high schools, attempting to “get at” the teen girls. The recent rape of a 15 year old girl in Richmond California (which took place during a high school dance) involved as many as a dozen males, at least one of which is over the age of 21. Even ministers, doctors, priests and men alleged to be “pillars of the community” view their children as property under their control, there for their use whenever they want, in whichever manner they please.
- Men are controlling and vindictive creatures. Rarely is their concern focused on their children’s needs after divorce. Instead, they rant and rave about having to give “that woman my money!” as if raising a child, providing medical treatment, clothing, shoes, tutors, haircuts, heat and electricity and water, prescription copayments or outright purchasing of antibiotics to fight the bronchitis or ear infection they came down with, day care so Mom can work, deodorant and toothbrushes, sanitary supplies and bras for girls, jock straps and football uniforms for boys, computer software, books, the sheets on their bed, soap and deodorant, school project supplies, eye exams and glasses, dental x-rays, food, fees for field trips, and pens and paper for homework were free and drop from the sky.
- Men don’t appreciate the value of a family and feel that having one is their right, no matter how little respect or care is shown to said family. That is why these guys lie and cheat and beat on women they claim to love. That is why they call you and their own children horrible, degrading, insulting, self-esteem crushing names. That is why they tease and taunt and disappoint and make their women and children cry, then berate them for being human and expressing emotions which apparently their own father doesn’t have. Why they are surprised and claim they had no idea anything was wrong when their wife becomes one of the 75% of women that files for divorce is laughable.
Sadly, women have the idea (which they were given by men), that being married and having his children is some great accomplishment and a “natural desire” that women have. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Women are SOCIALIZED to want children almost from birth, as girls are given baby dolls instead of a microscope, a toy stove and an apron instead of a telescope or a hammer, and taught by the females in her life how to rock, clothe, cuddle and “feed” dolls while she is brainwashed with “one day you will have children of your own.”
What a load of bullshit!
No one tells you about the pain, the prolapsed uterus, the vaginal tears, the health risks, nor the overwhelming feeling of responsibility and obligation that comes with being a mother. No one tells you about how sad and lonely you will feel at home alone while some man is happy that you are a stay at home Mom though you want to scream because you never wanted to stay at home for years after having children.
No one tells you that your husband will view household maintenance and meal preparation as your sole responsibility. No one tells you that his involvement in the family will be to play with the children (IF THAT) while you are assigned all the work of actually raising the children. No one tells you that most married women have little to no more support with their children than does a single Mom, parenting her baby alone.
No one tells you how you will feel angry that you have stretch marks, sagging breasts, and a body that is changed forever. No one shares that you will have primary responsibility for caretaking 24/7/365 while the child’s father picks and chooses what he will do and when – if anything at all for the baby he wanted so badly. No one tells women that they will end up confused and enraged and at least a little bit depressed when they have children and realize how much of a trick society has played on women and that you were bamboozled and swindled out of your life, convinced that giving it over to the happiness of a man and his offspring is your duty as a woman.
No one tells you that men will use your child as a tool to threaten, control and hurt you for 18 or more years whether you are with him or not. No one tells you that you better watch your children like a hawk and never leave them alone with their father, their stepfather, their grandfather or uncles, or even a neighbor’s husband because men have no respect for children and will sexually abuse and molest them at will and apparently, with legal impunity.
No one tells you that you have to sleep at night with one ear and one eye open to see if your man is sneaking into your child’s room at night doing things he has no business doing to your baby. No one tells you that your child, now sullen angry and failing in school has probably been molested by some man somewhere.
No one tells you that your teen daughter, suddenly wildly rebellious and strangely promiscuous is demonstrating emotional pain and a startling lack of self esteem from being subjected to repeated sexual, mental, emotional or physical trauma and/or abuse. No one tells you that your child is afraid to tell you what has been going on, because your baby has been threatened and cajoled and coerced into doing something that the adult male s/he trusts has convinced them is the right thing to do to protect you and to preserve the family.
No one tells you about the high rates of domestic violence, spousal murders, and murder-suicides by men enraged that a woman had the nerve to leave his silly behind. So furious is he that she has broken free of his grip, the ultimate payback for him is to kill not only her, but her children too. Familicide is largely the domain of educated, mature White males though.
A study, whose results were posted on PubMed is quoted as saying
“Familicide perpetrators are more likely than filicide (child homicide) perpetrators to be male, to be older, to be more educated and to commit the offence with physical violence. They are more likely than uxoricide (intimate partner homicide) perpetrators to be married, less likely to have committed a previous violent offence but more likely to suffer from a personality disorder and more likely to attempt suicide following the homicide. The finding that a large majority of the perpetrators… killed when faced with divorce and/or custody over the child(ren) may suggest that increased monitoring of this group might have preventative value.”
No one tells you that you better take off those rose-colored glasses and stop looking at men as romantic knights in shining armor and instead see them as the confused, weak, frightened, bitter and angry control freaks that they are. No one tells young women to consider the family history, behavior and genetics connected with the man they are dating before they have sex with him, and definitely before moving in, marrying or having children with him.
More females need to realize that The Stupid Muthafucka Gene has been proven (by me) to definitely exist, and it is being passed from generation to generation, at this point residing in an estimated 90% of the male population.
No one tells women all this. Except me, that is.
Instead of promoting motherhood, women need to start telling their daughters “don’t have shit for a man. If he wants a damn baby, let him figure out how to have it by himself. Let him get pregnant, have it, raise it and pay for it and worry about it all by himself since he thinks its so easy and doesn’t cost anything. Let him do it alllllllll on his own. You my daughter, you go to school and make something of yourself. Travel the world and see the greatness of other cultures. Dance and sing and laugh and make love with whomever strikes your fancy. Make YOURSELF happy and forget burdening yourself with some asshole’s child!”
If you start thinking that you want a baby, get a dog instead. See how much money and time and energy you spend on it. Having a dog will give you at least a little bit of an idea of what it is like to be a single parent, though dogs don’t have to be squired around to sleepovers and soccer games, helped with homework, nor taught to read and write or tie their shoes.
And should you decide that you truly DO want a child of your own, go to a sperm bank so the sperm donor never even knows you. That way you will alleviate at least 75% of the problems you would have with a husband or boyfriend that fathered your child.
If you decide you never want a child, be sure you get your tubes tied, cut and fried and forget men and what they want to do with your womb. It’s yours and you control it and what comes forth from it. Remember that anything you have that has been placed in your body by a man will be thought to be his. And in that way, you are placing yourself at his mercy.
Women need to realize that the power they have is in their fertility. That is why so many men in power are fighting against legalized abortion and readily available birth control for women. Yet men complain about women receiving assistance from the government or child support to help financially support the children that women would be forced to birth. Does it make sense to try to force women to have babies, then turn around and fight against any program which would these mothers with child care so she can get out and work and make a living for herself and support her child? This yo-yo, ping-pong control freak behavior that makes women damned if they do and damned if they don’t would be funny if it didn’t enrage me instead.
Men are focused on what goes on between women’s legs and the power women have over them. That is why men in their 70s, long past the age when they should be trying to even have sex, are focused on getting that wrinkly flaccid dick up with little blue pills. Amazingly, many health care companies refused to pay for the birth control pills women needed to prevent unwanted pregnancy, but they all happily agreed to reimburse men for sex related little blue pills that would get women pregnant.
That’s probably because health care companies are run by other old men worrying about their flaccid dicks too.
When you understand that men want to control the female body and what comes out of it and what women do with their womb and vagina, this stuff will all make sense.
Whether with courts, religion, guns, fists or gender slurs, the end result is that men want to control what women do, when women do it, how women do it, and with whom. They will use any child you have with them as a tool to get to you too, to frighten you, to make you malleable, and to make you give in to his demands.
My lobby against women having children has begun in earnest. You ladies limit your options when you are saddled down with some knucklehead’s child. You give him power over you to drag you into court, something to threaten to take from you, something he can hurt in a twisted attempt to hurt you.
When you have children and are raising them alone, you will end up broke and tied down. You cannot go out and have fun anymore because you have an overwhelming number of responsibilities. You end up frustrated, exhausted, and viewed by other men as being unworthy of being anything more than a roll in the hay because now you are “used goods.”
There is no reason for a single woman to EVER have a child by a man she is not married to. And there are FEW reasons I can think of for married women to have children, even by men they call husbands.
Women should stop having children. Period.
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Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Women's Issues
I’m sorry Raz, but you don’t know what you are talking about. For the most part, a litigant cannot approach a judge without the other party being present. I’m not going to belabor this, but this is a dirty little secret that people don’t know about, the vindictive ex who uses “father’s rights” and “joint custody” to control the mother using court proceedings after the marriage/relationship is over, how they do it, and what it ends up doing to the mother and the children.
The father has equal rights as the mother, nowadays for the most part a mother cannot just cut a dad out of the child’s life–no matter what he may be guilty of–unless the dad goes along with it. These kinds of guys–usually abusers–fight custody and they use the kids to try and destroy the mother.
It’s a real phenomenon, it’s happening out here everyday. Professional women are a huge target of this but it’s trickling down as everyone becomes more educated with the ready availability of the Internet.
Here’s a link, hope this is okay to post; it sets forth many of the reasons that abusive fathers may be favored in family court during custody battles: http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/dv.html
Live well all
Sad Mom
When I read your post (and I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic here), but I read all the things your ex can do. I don’t read anything you can do. Your ex has all the power. No wonder he treats you the way that he does because he ‘can’. And you allow it. Your ex has run amuck and he needs to be put in check and you’re going to have to take MORE proactive steps to check his behind. There is no need for you to be resigned for the next 10 years of dealing with this mess. You and your son will be traumatized more than you are already and by then, who knows what your mental state and that of your son’s will be.
There may be other options you have to explore. Don’t give up so quickly. Did you read Deborrah’s article on the Father’s rights’ movement? Your Ex is a poster child for what the author described.
There could be things you can do since you are now dealing with this situation that can make it less painful for you to go through. You should email Deborrah personally to find out things you can do to gain some better control over the situation and not let your ex terrorize you the way that he has been doing. Also the threshold for doing something illegal vs it being horrible and harmful to your little boy is very high. Just because it isn’t illegal doesn’t make it less horrible, harmful or right.
There needs to be boundaries and something in place that holds your ex accountable. He needs to be held responsible for the fallout he is causing with your son and the judges need to know this.
Even if your ex was awarded joint custody, what is wrong with you meeting with the judge in private and discussing with him what you are dealing with whenever your husband breaks his promise to visit his son, what is wrong with you discussing with the judge, social workers etc.. that your son is a fire bug and the emotional distress he deals with, whenever he is exposed to your ex’s poison.
You need to start laying down the foundation to ‘undo’ that joint custody instead of being resigned to it. That judge needs to know what you and your son are going through behind closed doors and away from the court room. Anyone can put on a front with the judge. But they need to know what is going on and you’ll need to take steps (if you really want to improve your lot) to make this happen.
It’s not going to be easy but perhaps you can solicit pro bono work from a family law practice, go to the library research on the internet to find advocacy groups that may get behind you to support you. There are groups out there that lend support to mothers like you dealing with ex’s like you are. YOu don’t have to go at this alone and be resigned to the next 10 years of torture in your life. You can get someone/group/organization to help you with your cause. How bad do you want to get out of this situation? You can do it, you don’t have to be terrorized for the next 10 years! Do you think you can survive that with your mind intact and that of your son?
you have it all wrong Raz. my ex fought for joint custody and won in court. I cannot leave the state without his permission so he can get visitation. its a court order. as long as our son is under age my ex has legal protection. nothing he is doing is illegal its just really horrible and hurtful to our little boy. i have been to legal aid attorneys because I dont have money for a private lawyer. and in front of judges my ex presents himself as a model father. he shows pictures of the few times he did pick up his son. if i leave and cut him off from seeing our boy I can lose custody completely and be jailed. what you suggest I do cannot be done. otherwise if my ex gets custody I may never see my son again. He makes excuses to call me when he has our son for his weekends and I answer because I never know if it is going to be an emergency or if my son wants to come home. I hate that this is my life for the next 10 years. Deborrah solution is the best way othewrise you might end up in a bad situation like I am.
@Sad Mom
Wow, I was floored when I read your post and I feel so sorry for your situation. You really should get YOURSELF into counseling too because even though you’ve divorced this jerkoff you are still ALLOWING him to victimize you and your son and the vicious cycle will repeat itself because you are allowing him to turn your son into a ‘mini him’. Your son at 8 is starting fires, how long will it be before he kills someone?
You need to go to the courts/social workers, law enforcement and tell t hem of the abuse you and your son are suffering at the hands of this man and get a restraining order against him. This fool needs to be lociked up somewhere. You need to sit your son down and have a heart to heart talk with him. His dad is a sick bastard, sounds like he is mentally off. He can’t take responsibility for his action or his role in the demise of his marriage and now he spends the rest of his life angry and punishing you two. I would have cut him off long time ago. Kids are resilient, believe it or not, ‘his son’ would have gotten over ‘his dad especially if you had brought someone else into his life as a better father figure.
I would have moved clean away from this man physically (if at all possible). Stop giving this man so much power in your life and claim it is for the sake of your son. You already see that your son is angry and the relationship he has with his dad is not a healthy one in fact it is turning this kid into a dangerous little boy who is well on his way to junvenile detention before he’s in his teenaged years.
Is that worth it just so he can see his DAD? What are you getting out of all of this? This is just a man he has no rights. You need to go all out and CUT him completely out of your son’s life!! It can be done. Just like you wrote this post, you can go and talk to someone in authoritiy who can help you with this situation. This man is terrible and you’ve divorced him legally but you are still too emotionally tied to him.
This is sad as you said Sad Mom, but people can’t victimize you unless you continue to lay down and let them. You recognize the problem but you aren’t doing anything about it. You don’t have to wonder how your son’s life will turn out. If you continue to allow your evil hateful vengeful ex husband access into your life and that of your son’s he will turn out much worse than his father did.
Stop simply feeling sorry about your situation and start being proactive DO something to bring about a positive change in your life. Get your son and RUN away from this man and start a new life! Get some positive male influences in your son’s life to counter effect what his nasty father is doing! Get counseling for yourself.
I wish you had written this years ago before I had my son who is now eight. My ex is a mean controlling man that does everything he can to punish me for leaving him even though he would verbally and then physically abuse me. I left when he grabbed my boy and threatened to beat him if I dont have sex. Our son was barely two years old.
Its been years since our divorce but he still does everything he can to hurt both of us. He continually disappoints our son by promising to come and get him, then he leaves him standing by the door crying when he doesn’t show up. he will promise to take him places and get him all excited, then change the plans at the last minute or just drop him off at his mother’s for the whole day. Everything he does is designed to get back at me which I know because he calls and tells me “if you hadn’t left we would all be togehter and I wouldn’t have to act this way. this is your fault you know.” He calls me all the time and I have to take his calls when he has our son and he says horrible things. I cannot believe that I ever saw him as a good and decent man.
He tells our son all kinds of lies about me and it hurts our boy, but he still loves his father. I’ve had to get him into counseling because he started setting fires. the therapist says he is a very angry little boy. I wish he didn’t have to see his father so he could stop being disappointed over and over. He just wants his Dad to love him and to care about his Mom. I wonder how his life is going to turn out and I hate that his father is such an evil hearted person. I have discovered he isnot the only man like this. Now i do not trust men anymore and dont think I ever will.
@Sad Mom
Sad Mom, I am so very sorry to hear about your situation. I am a single black male. My wife passed back in 1999. Together we raised two wonderful children. They are both grown now and very productive citizens. Neither one has ever gone to jail or been in any serious trouble. Do not give up on men. There are still some good ones out here. Now, while I do not agree with a lot of what I have read on this site, I will agree with Raz when she tells you to get away from this man. Especially get your son away from this man. I know you say he loves his father (and that is understandable), but children can overcome setbacks. I have personally witness this same thing happen to the child of a friend of mine. Even if you do give up on men for yourself, do not give up on looking for a good role model for your son. He likely needs a good man in his life more than you. He needs a good man to teach him how to act like a man. He needs a good man to teach him how to love and respect women. He needs a good man to teach him how to “effectively” deal with life’s inevitable difficulties. He needs a good man to teach him that setting fires is not the answer. He needs a good man to teach him how to be a “MAN”. You say that he is eight years old now. YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR SON!!! The older he gets, the more difficult it will become.
I really get pissed of at men who mistreat women because I know that I may have to suffer the bullshit that the woman may want to put on me because of his actions. I know that men talk a lot about how hard it is to find a good woman. Well Hell. We have messed up a lot of you women!!
It does pain me because I would love to have another beautiful relationship. But far too many women have experienced far too many bad men and that does make it hard for me.
Good luck Sad Mom. I will say a prayer for you and your son.
D’Eric
As a man do you have sexual relations with an android since you say there is current technology that can give a person so much more?
As I man I agree with this article. Nobody should have children then it would make android technology that is being developed more important. Why have kids when current technology exist that can give a person much more.
Marriage and motherhood is a scam being run on women from birth as I explain in the article. The scam is designed to train females to look forward to a life of drudgery and obligation to people that take women for granted and feel wholly entitled to their time, energy and love while they give little to nothing in return.
Having children should be regarded as a privilege by both parents not a right. But women too often use having babies as a way to trap a man who didn’t want to be with them in the first place. Untiil women stop having this mindset, the poor kids will always be born into less than ideal circumstances where they are resented by men reluctantly becoming fathers and by women with low self-esteem who put the man on the pedestal as the ultimate prize to be won and put his interest ahead of her own and that of her kids.
Kids should be born by parents with the mindset of bringing an asset into this world to make it into a better place. We need more children born like Maya Angelou, MLK Jr, Nelson Mandella, President Obama, etc… We don’t need children born with the mindset of Beven and others who are just walking around in this world spewing hatred against women and other kids born who are not raised properly because of their parents issues so they contribute nothing positive to the world, they are just taking up space and resources in an already over crowded world.
In nature, the weak animals are killed /die off and this is necessary so that nature can maintain a balance of resources, however Humans have evolved to nurture the weak and weak people infect (like a cancer) the rest of the human race. I guess maybe these people who kill these women who are having babies by these no good men maybe ultimately engage in a ‘sort of manmade natural selection.
The men kill the mothers, the men go to jail (hopefully where they’ll get phuked up the butt for life thus ending their baby making days (sadly this isn’t the case as many mother and baby murderers are released to walk the streets again), and the offspring of these sad individual grow up in a life of crime and gang violence. most times these kids will not survive to adulthood because of the violent life they lead. So there you go, man made natural selection of the less than desirables .
It’s cruel but there it is.
“BTW, Raz, I dont think you should have kids.”
Beven Yo, what’s with the personal attack?!
Where is this coming from on this article? You don’t know me from adam so what makes you come out and write this shyt? Well just like you said that to me, it’s to bad, your mother didn’t read this article BEFORE having you. There would have been one less pathetic weak sounding woman hating idiot in the world and I sincerely hope that you don’t have any little rug rats running around with your seed waiting to unleash more like you.
Love your logic and I totally agree with everything you wrote about men. All they want is power and the whole pedophile thing is totally about power.
Oh and fuck off Beven.
Mr Beven, did you know that the Baby Bonus is mostly paid to parents (not mothers, but parents) who are over 30 years of age. And if there is ever a study done on the Baby Bonus and how it’s spent, I wonder how much actually goes on the baby. I wonder how much of it goes to Daddy’s new motor-bike, skis, boats, or just down at the boozer. It’s rather niave and simplistic to think that the BB is being given 100% to mothers alone. Also, since it’s introduction, the number of teenage terminations has increased (in relation to the number of live births), putting further into doubt that teenage “mothers” are having babies simply to collect the BB.
Hopefully you said those words to yourself before typing them here Mr. Beven. I suspect that the molding of your offspring into an image of you has already begun. And here no one pays a mother to do anything. Even children with special needs and birth defects that need assistance rarely get it. That is why I warn women that their dreams will become nothing but a distant memory once they have some fool’s baby.
Agreed!!!! Not just for the points listed above, but also for the other reasons a woman have children for. Like to boost a womans self-esteem(theres nothing quite like having a human which you can mold into a mini-me and will love you no matter how poorly you treat it) and to collect the baby bonus(here in Australia the government pays women to push out kids).
BTW, Raz, I dont think you should have kids.
Wow!!
I don’t have any kids and at this point not sure if I will. This article is certainly food for thought. Women have been socialized to define their womanhood by being a mother, wife, girlfriend. If women don’t have those titles attached to their names, they are thought to be abnormal. Women who are ‘too accomplished are viewed with suspicion by men and by other women as well who may not be accomplished themselves and are encouraged to put down women who value their own personal development rather than define themselves by what a man thinks of them.