Your Best Friend is Getting Cheated On – What Do You Do?

| 01/08/2012 | Comments (2)

To truly love someone you must trust them to love you back. However, in many relationships, cheating and lies destroy that trust, breaks hearts and devastates entire families.

Around the world men have been socialized to think that cheating is okay for them to do, because “men have needs!” They are not shy about verbalizing their believe that they are entitled to cheat on women with an occasional sexual adventure to meet those needs for variety. Some men have a second complete relationship in an ongoing long-term affair with keys to her home and sometimes a child.

Women, traditionally stuck at home raising children, had fewer options to cheat in earlier generations. However, women with women working outside the home as much as men, they have similar opportunities to cheat on boyfriends and husbands.

The numbers of married women choosing to have other lovers is only slightly behind the number of married cheating men. A Psychology Today article entitled Why Are Women Cheating More? discusses this rising statistic.

But the question on the table today investigates what we would do if we had proof as a first-hand eye witness that a dear friend was being cheated on. I believe how you would handle hearing from some third person that you are in love with a cheating man or cheating woman impact your response to this poll.

Most people cannot be 100% objective, and will instead put themselves in the position of being the one that cheated on. Some of you would not want to know so you could pretend that your relationship is still okay and not threatened. Others would leave your mate immediately upon hearing they cheated; you would be very hurt if you discovered later that your best friend kept something so important from you.

With all that said, if you were out and about one day and saw the mate of your best friend in a very non-platonic obviously sexual embrace with a member of the opposite sex, would you tell it or would you keep the matter to yourself to protect your friend? Feel free to post comments below.

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder

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Comments (2)

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  1. constantly learning says:

    I am on the fence with this one. I consider myself a trustworthy person and I try my best to be completely honest with everyone in my life. About six months ago a friend (or what I thought was a friend) of mines “boyfriend” out of nowhere groped me. I’ve known her for years and she only known this dude for a couple of months when this happened. This loser has no job, no income, moved in a few weeks after meeting each other, has an addiction to alcohol (and possibly other substances) and is just all around bad news. I told her because she has school aged children in the home and I warned her to protect her kids because if he could do this to me a person he doesn’t even know he could do this to one of her kids. Well she hasn’t spoken to me since but the loser is stll around and she still leaves the kids alone with him. I’m happy I said something because if I never warned her and something happened to those kids I couldn’t live with myself. However, it made me very wary of situations like this and made me think about why women are so desperate and willing to put their children at risk for a man.

  2. FAMURattler85 says:

    I would tell because I would want someone to tell me if it was happening to me.

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