Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Deborrah's Latest Posts
Sailing The Seven C’s of Love and Communication
There are seven primary behavioral patterns which dictate the success or failure of a romantic partnership. To encourage honest communication, respectful treatment and unyielding commitment to your relationship, try following these seven suggestions.
Cons of Marriage – Why Women Should Not Get Married
Why is it that professional, educated Black women aren’t married like White women are? Why do Black men feel Black women didn’t know how to get and keep a man? Women should not get married. Marriage is basically a bullshit mind game played on women for generations. Until a woman is married and gets first hand experience, most do not understand that being a free maid, cook, breeding stock and social secretary is not a goal to strive to achieve. Marriage is for chumps and suckas!
Why Men With No Game Fail With Women
Nice guys don’t understand that emotions and relationships are not about logic, reason and what makes sense! Relationships are about what you do and what you say, and how what you do and what you say MAKES WOMEN FEEL.
Should Women Ask Men Out on Dates?
Guest contributor Robert Monroe and columnist Deborrah Cooper debate the issue of women approaching and asking out a man that may not have noticed her or that may be too shy or afraid to take the first step. Though society has changed in many ways, what makes women feel loved and female expectations of male assertiveness remain unchanged. With that in mind, should women approach and ask men out on dates?
The Decline in Black Marriages… Is Marriage for Educated White People?
A report released on January 18th, 2010 by the Pew Research Center identifies a fundamental reconfiguration of marriage: As a consequence of increased education and greater access to high-paying jobs, wives are more likely than ever before to earn more and to be better educated than their husbands. Research indicates that equality in a number of areas is associated with today’s successful relationships: similar background, social class and educational level among them. Why then are so many Black men angry at Black women for demanding that their spouse have a college degree?
Don’t Waste Your Time on a Fearful Defeatist
Some people submit to defeat quickly. Their fear of failure causes them to settle for mediocrity instead of taking the risk to achieve excellence. Defeatist attitudes are easier to assume than facing one’s fears and moving forward. However, the courageous, those that become successful and leaders, those that make things happen never stop, never give up and never succumb willingly to defeat. The #1 goal of the courageous winner is to get to the other side of fear and the limitations fear places on our willingness to seek and then achieve greatness. Whatever you need to do, get over your fears!
10 Things Women Do That Drive Men Away
The ten item list contained in this article may anger many women. This isn’t a list of complaints, it’s information intended to provide women with insight into what men are thinking; it’s a bridge across the communication gap. After all, without straight and candid communication, we can’t solve the issues that threaten to end so many relationships. Use these ten issues as a starting point for a dialogue with your husband, the man in your life, or a male friend. Such an open discussion will give you even more insight and help to improve your relationship.
Opposites Attract or Do You Attract Who You Are?
Which do we believe… opposites attract or you attract who you are? I really don’t think it’s at all necessary for a couple to be like a set of matched bookends or The Bobbsey Twins. Finding common ground with regards to emotional commitment, honesty, respect, and conscientious adherence to your marital ties, no matter how opposite you may be in dozens of ways, is the mark of a truly solid couple.
The 70% of Black Women Are Single Lie Exposed
I think it is important to note that statistics I am going to present apply only to those who self-identified in the last Census as just Black – not Black and Native American, not bi-racial, not a blend of three or more races like Tiger Woods with his Cablasian self. The “single never married” group of African Americans is close to 50% of the African American population. However, this statistical grouping also includes men. It also includes people that are gay or lesbian, that don’t want to get married EVER, those incarcerated that are not allowed to marry until their release, as well as those involved in a relationship that is not yet at the altar (engaged or living together).
Why Women Should Stop Having Children
My lobby against women having children has begun. You ladies limit your options when you are saddled down with some knucklehead’s child. You give him power over you to drag you into court, something to threaten to take from you, something he can hurt in a twisted attempt to hurt you. When you have children and are raising them alone, you will end up broke and tied down. You cannot go out and have fun anymore because you have responsibilities. You end up overwhelmed, frustrated, and often viewed by other men as being unworthy of being anything more than a roll in the hay because now you are “used goods.”
Father’s Rights and Violence Against Women
The father’s rights movement focuses on trying to re-establish fathers’ authority and control over their children’s and ex-partners’ lives, on gaining an equality concerned with fathers’ ‘rights’ and status rather than the actual care of children, and on winding back legal and cultural changes which have lessened gender inequalities. Fathers’ rights groups are well-organized advocates for changes in family law, and vocal opponents of feminist perspectives and achievements on interpersonal violence.
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