Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Deborrah's Latest Posts
Rejection and Dating – Why Rejection Hurts
Rejection can hurt like hell and cause wounded singles to bunker down to lick their ego wounds. What these singles don’t realize, however, is that rejection may hurt but never under any circumstances should rejection ever be taken personally. However you were rejected and for whatever reason you were rejected, there are a few key steps to recovery. These steps won’t stop it from happening again but they will make you a better person for your experience!
Female Submission – Why Weak Men Want Submissive Women
Female submission is pushed by fathers, pastors, deacons and ministers and society as a whole. The brainwashing is complete when women make statements that women should be submissive to men because it is a woman’s nature. It is not in a woman’s “nature” to be anything but great and powerful self-actualizing citizens of the world. Yet various cultures and religions have limited female options and choices based strictly on gender. Women of today, their mothers, and their mother’s mothers have all been socialized by men to believe that men are superior and that women should subjugate themselves to males. But that is nothing but a lie.
The Male Struggle for Control of Female Sexuality
A male reader writes in to share his thoughts on his belief that women not only lose value if they have multiple lovers, but that any woman can easily have 300 lovers in one year since all she has to do is have a vagina and give her consent. Why are some men so fixated on a woman’s purity as the sole source of her worth and value as a person?
The Three Types of Black Men
After studying Black men for decades, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are three different types of Black men. Sadly, more than half of the Black men in the dating pool are misogynists and truly hate women; their treatment of and the thoughts they express about Black women prove it.
It’s Just a Woman’s Power
A mature man comments on the female powers of observation and shares a little advice with the fellas… “Men we now have to start coming clean using truth and honesty if we hope to keep our women. This knowledge has me a little paranoid when I meet a woman… now is she looking at me from the inside out? That can’t be a pretty sight because I got issues. Not being as handsome as most and now I know I’m certainly not as smart, I have to be more honest and forthright to attract the opposite sex.”
Can Dating Standards Be “Too” High?
Everyone must have standards. Your standards become the criteria used to compare the men or women that come into your life to see if they measure up. If you don’t have standards, you’ll risk becoming involved with married or other emotionally unavailable sorts. You also risk developing an attachment to someone that you know is totally wrong for you.
Jerks, Assholes, Idiots and Abusive Men: Recognizing Verbal Abuse
Five common tactics abusive men use to derail female confidence. The goal for abusive men is to belittle and insult you so often that you shut down. He wants to be able to treat you any way he likes, and for you to take it without complaint because you’re so beaten down you believe his words to be true.
My Man is Nice and All, But the Sex is Boring as Hell!
How do women decide between the man that is stable and the man that is a sexual God. In other words, how do women choose between the stable nice guy who may be trustworthy and a good father figure, but who is sexually boring, and the guy that makes her feel like a total woman but who may be a player? The issue is discussed in detail on The Date Smarter, Not Harder Talk Show with host Deborrah Cooper.
The God Virus – How Religion Messes Up the Minds of Men
Black men feel they deserve to be in charge and run their woman and household without question. Is this truly the relationship that modern Black men expect and feel they deserve… straight out of 1800? Why should accomplished Black women place themselves under the foot of a male that believes he is superior to women? Controversial examination of religion, God, Christianity, and the ego of the Black male.
We Broke Up – How Can We Be Friends?
I have never understood why people insist on being friends with an ex! Why continue to put emotional energy towards something that does not exist? Why torture yourself by hanging around and talking to someone in a situation that has a very low potential to become what you wanted it to be? The clock is ticking! Why not re-invest your emotional energy into the possibilities of finding someone else that wants to direct their romantic energy towards you?
7 Early Warning Signs of a Doomed Dating Relationship
Do you notice that you repeatedly involve yourself with the same “type” of person over and over again? If so, the reason is most likely because you are either ignoring early warning signs that this situation is unhealthy and dangerous, or you don’t know what to look for. The earlier you notice signs of incompatibility such as these, the easier it will be for you to avoid getting hurt emotionally.
New Comments