Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Deborrah's Latest Posts
Men Don’t Understand When They Are IN A RELATIONSHIP
Explanation of what women mean when they say “we’re in a relationship” because guys just don’t seem to get it. When a woman is looking for a specific, desired outcome from their interaction with a person of the opposite sex, she labels their regular interaction as “a relationship.” A relationship is much more important in her life than a mere date. A relationship usually includes sex for women. Guys don’t get that if they have sex with a woman more than a couple of times, she is going to consider that “a relationship” whether you want it to be one or not! In other words, you are her boyfriend, with all the obligations and responsiblities that title entails.
The 10 Reasons Your Goofy Butt Didn’t Get a Second Date
With each new person you date there is excitement and hopeful anticipation. Of course not every date is going to go the distance or anywhere at all. But if you are one of those folks that have a hard time getting a second date with everyone you meet, it’s time to examine your behavior and make sure you aren’t making any of these ten dating blunders.
How Do Relationships Become “Official” These Days?
Single men and women must never assume that they have a committed relationship or a “boyfriend/girlfriend” just because they’ve been on 5, 10 or even 500 dates, slept together, are living together, or have even had a baby. Unless the details of their association have been discussed in great detail, expectations and abilities to meet said expectations have been ironed out, and both parties sign on the dotted line, there is no “relationship.”
Bitch Made “Good Men” In the Dating Pool
I’m tired of men that feel they are “Good men” touting their goodness like it’s a badge of honor, a trophy, something that entitles them to more or better or what they want. In the mating game your “goodness” means absolutely nothing. You telling women over and over why we should pick you instead of the exciting, sexy, fun guy makes you sound like a whining punk. Here are my reasons why I and a great many women totally ignore “good guys” when choosing a man.
Why Did The Almighty Waste Ears on Men When They Never Listen Anyway?
Men wonder why women file for 75% of the divorces in this country. It seems that men just don’t understand how important communication and listening skills are to the quality and duration of their relationships with women. Whether in a personal or professional setting, men need to learn how to HEAR women, not just the words we say but the message we are communicating about how we FEEL.
What a Black Man Needs in a Relationship
Just like Freud (who admittedly never could figure out what women wanted), women don’t understand men and what their relationship needs are! But I have the answer, and it’s very simple.
Older Woman/Younger Man… How Old is TOO Old?
The best relationships take place between older women and mature younger men. Women exercise, eat better, and involve themselves in a wide variety of satisfying social activities long into their senior years. Women look better as they age, and live longer as well. Really, women are more suited for dating younger men, and every woman over 35 should let her Inner Cougar out!
Strange Life Lessons Movies Have Taught Us
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets which reach up to armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is […]
You’re Either Part of the Solution, Or Part of the Problem
Fear is epidemic in our society. I’ve never seen so many scary ass people! Millions of people sit on the bench in the game of life, holding onto their fears of success like a security blanket while telling themselves over and over again what they “can’t” accomplish, “can’t” change, “can’t” become or “can’t” try for fear of failure.
Why Are So Many Women Opting to STAY Single?
The vision that most people have of marriage and what they expect to get out of such a union is nothing but a mirage… a vision that they imagine exists but which does not and probably never has. Alvin Hollinger III and Deborrah Cooper give their gender-based opinions on single women and the issue of marriage.
Why Won’t Men Say I LOVE YOU?
Question: Why won’t men say "I love you" to their girlfriends and wives? These are sincere guys! They know they feel the love, and we know they do too. But they just won’t say the words we so badly want to hear. WHY NOT?????? HE SAYS: So why don’t the men in your life SAY […]
Are Black Men Judgmental Haters of Black Women?
My Dad raised me to never worry about pleasing other people or to care what they thought about anything with regards to me. Too many women did not get that message, and bend themselves into pretzels with each new man they meet, trying in vain to be “good enough” for him. Women need to be whatever they want to be as long as they are happy and satisfied, and stop trying to be the fantasy woman of men’s dreams. It never works anyway.
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