You Need to Train Men How to Treat You?

. 05/10/2012 . 5 Comments

Why do so many black women believe the phrase “you have to train men how to treat you?”

Every man over the age of 25 knows full well how to treat other people! Probably over the age of 18, but I will add a few years just because. So when I meet a man of 40, I am not going to spend a SECOND of my life training him to do anything. Either hit the ground running and come correct, or do not come at all. No time and no interest in teaching a mature adult anything about how to treat others with courtesy and respect.

He certainly knows how he wants to be treated, which means he also knows how I want to be treated. Anything not up to par, anything stupid, anything trifling, anything disrespectful – it means he is doing it because he WANTS TO DO IT.

That is the part black women just don’t frickin get. They think they have to ‘train’ a man how to treat them. No, you don’t. He already knows. Whatever he did wrong, he intentionally. He knew it was jacked up when he did it. He knew you were going to be hurt. He knew he was lying. He knew he was being dismissive. He knew he was being a jerk. He knew all that, but he did whatever he did anyway.

So then I do what I was going to do anyway, which is leave him alone. No negotiation. No compromise. No conversation about it. We not gonna fight. No excuses. I am not going to explain to you why what you did was wrong. I’m not going to talk to you endlessly to try to ‘get you to see’ why I’m upset. Because you already know! You ain’t stupid! I’m not going to put you on the defensive. I’m not going to question you. I’m not going to cry or act up.

I’m just out.

Why don’t more women do that instead of waste their time on game playing men?

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Women's Issues


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