Friends with Benefits, Booty Calls and Bed Buddy Dating Relationships

. 07/06/2012 . 4 Comments

What do you think of friends with benefits dating relationships?

A 35 year old female reader of this blog weights in on friends with benefits relationships:

I am not ashamed to say that I recently participated in a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship. The guy didn’t want a serious relationship. I believe that he just didn’t want a serious relationship with me. He was fun and we had similar backgrounds and he pretty much treated me like a girlfriend. I met someone else and decided to pursue something with someone who possibly wants to take me seriously. female sexuality black women sexuality

Now, the friends with benefits dude says I tried to hurt him by pursuing the new guy and doesn’t want to speak to me..ever…not even cordially. This guy didn’t want anything serious with me..and believed that I didn’t have my sh&t together & even stated that I wasn’t conventionally pretty(something that I know)..but I supposedly tried to hurt HIS feelings.

I am okay with never speaking to him again because it needed to end it, but I now see how these friends with benefits sorts of things end on a sour note, especially for the over 30 crowd. I realize that I was too old to participate in something like that.

 

Friends with Benefits Discussion Questions

  • Have you ever been involved in a friends with benefits relationship (and we use that term “relationship” very loosely)?
  • Why do singles enter into FWB/friends with benefits relationships?
  • Do FWB types of situations always end badly from your experience?
  • Have you ever seen a friends with benefits relationship blossom into love and commitment?
  • Are friends with benefits pairings different for women than they are for men? Does this vary by age group or life experience?
  • Is there any time in a person’s life when he or she should definitely NOT consider a friends with benefits pairing?

 

Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder


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