Are Women the New Men?
But I take heart in my sister’s story a generation ago. My older sister met her future husband, a man of the 80’s. At the time she knew him, he had a knock about job working in the hospital and no goals. He saw my sister and made up his mind without even saying anything to her, that she was who he wanted. My sister and his sister were both friends, and taking classes together in college. When his sister brought my sister home to study with her one day my future brother in law saw her and wanted her, but for the first time, he realized he wasn’t up to par.
He didn’t go to her to ask her to ‘help him out a little bit’ so he could get started in life. He started putting things in place on his own to get himself ‘worthy’ to be with my sister. He saw her as a lady of quality and he realized that he wasn’t qualified’. So he did what it took, never asking her for anything. They eventually got married when he felt that he was in a position to provide for a wife and are still married today with two beautiful daughters, a home and doing quite well for themselves. He has always been the provider in that family. Always been the man where it counted. Always made sure his family were and still are, well taken care of. When my sister was pregnant, she didn’t have to work.
It seems women feel that in order for a man to accomplish something, if he can’t do it on his own, he has to be ‘helped out a little bit’. They seem to forget the old adage, ‘Feed a man a fish, you feed him forever, ‘teach a man to fish, and he can feed himself’. Women who are quick to ‘help a man out’ are not helping that man at all, what they are doing is enabling; especially if that man hasn’t tried to help himself and his idea of helping himself is to ‘ask someone else to ‘help him out’.
A man who can’t even obtain the basic necessities, food, clothing, shelter, a job, education on his own, is not a man worthy to be someone’s boyfriend/fiancé /husband nor father. Do men today have no gumption to make things happen for themselves? Do they lack the drive and perseverance to set long term goals and stick to them and see things through in order to get themselves set to live? I see more women doing these things on their own all of the time.
So are women now the new men? What are the men’s roles today when it comes to relationships and women and family? They can’t say provider if they require ‘a little help’ from a woman to even get them started in obtaining the basic necessities in life and they show that they lack the ability and life skills to do this on their own.
Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder
Showed this article to several men and women. The most popular comment was “why aren’t we considered equal?” I want successful relationships now without having to dig around in the hearts of minds of this country’s forefathers. How do we get to successful from here?
Side note: Kinda amazing that 55 comments come from approx 5-6 people. Some folks definitely feel strong about this subject.
Side, side note: Raz and Danta why don’t y’all just get a room?! =]
Deborrah, That’s fascinating. 100 I bet they all say the same thing but with a different title and how Men ain’t this as the tag-line I come back because you made me a member, and you keep e-mail blasting me new blogs, I come on here to drop knowledge and point out what you don’t pay attention to, I see in the other responses I posted, as well as the earlier ones, I got no rebuttal from y’all you couldn’t dispute it and you didn’t. I didn’t come on here to bash anybody, I came on here to see what you were about, and why you can’t differentiate between a Good man, and knucklehead, or tolerating a playa’s behavior. I just drop knowlegde because I’m and from it, and I have seen it outside the hood too, as well as the places I’ve worked. You did Fox and the Grapes and said put your own Hood-Flava into it, Like I wrote to Raz, how can you blast somebody for doing something when you do the same thing? Just curious. Again I don’t call any women on here out there name, but I get it all from y’all not lady-like especially when you so-called trying to provoke a discussion. Yet with all these titles you claim a woman needs to have, I never read anything by you about TV producers, J.K Rowling, Willa Brown, Mae Jemison, C. Delores Tucker, Mary Mcloed Bethune, Cookie Hughes etc, or any other woman that laid the foundation for professional, and entreprenuerial women of today and You won’t. I ain’t read no lessons from them on these blogs. I come back to drop knowledge about the Hood which y’all have no clue about, to business world which y’all have no clue about. I drop on everything you talk about, all y’all do is insult let’s have a good discussion about these things and knowing the difference on what’s what shall we?
Are women the new men?
You’re kidding right?
Nonsense, pure nonsense.
Why would it matter? After a couple of decades of saying that you don’t need a man why ask the question?
I’ll be taking care of my own business while you try to browbeat black men into doing what you want.
Ming-Soo and Becky are both looking pretty good right now.
Good. Like I said in my “Black Men Have Low Self Esteem” article, when a man has a very fragile sense of his manhood and bases his masculinity on what a woman IS NOT, then he is really not a man by himself. He cannot be one.
His manhood is defined as being the opposite of a woman. So he cannot stand a challenge to what he determines to be his sole domain – power, decisiveness, leadership roles, economic clout. When a woman has those things men like you get upset.
You get upset because without those things under your sole control you feel you are nothing.
I think that is sad. Black men really need to learn how to define themselves as men and stop using old stupid ass models of “power over women” that have no use anymore for females.
The fact that you had to throw in the Asian and White woman as an attempt to insult Black women shows me how on target I am. You could have made all your points without that statement. However, you chose not to do that because your true goal is not to be heard, your goal is to WIN! Your goal is to make Black women feel bad that you prefer women of other races and reject them because they won’t “let you lead.”
As I said in the article Emotional Abuse and The Emotionally Abusive Black Man you have just proven yourself to be the exact type of low down man I was writing about.
Deborrah: “Your goal is to make Black women feel bad that you prefer women of other races and reject them because they won’t “let you lead.”
Whenever trifling jikkas like Cloudscape talk about wanting women of other races, I jump up and down and flip backwards! Woohoo! That’s one less dumb nigga for a sista to deal with in the dating pool. Becky and Ming loo are welcome to his sorry butt. They’ll soon tire of him too with his fonky attitude.
These fools like him are the ones who get taken in divorce courts by your Becky’s and Ming loos. Anyway, they can ‘want these women all they want, the main question is, do these women want his azz?
Usually the Beckys and Ming Loos’ they get are either trailer park style women, or some Asian woman looking for a come up some how. Either way they won’t be on the level of the sistah he really wants who has put his dumb azz on nignore because of his trifling fonky attitude, so he has to settle for a woman who initially is too naive and stupid to know better, but even those women will wise up sooner or later, and when they do… If they get piassed enough, they might pull a Lorena Bobbit on his azz! Hooray!
Cloudscape: “Ming-Soo and Becky are both looking pretty good right now.”
They don’t want your dumb trifling butt either. Not for long, you act like women like that will stay with a fool like you forever. Divorces are filed by women 2/3rds of the time and that includes your Ming-Soo and Becky. And when they divorce your silly low self esteem having behind, they will take you for all that you think you have and what you might make in the future. Then your stupid azz will come crying to Shaquisha to ‘help you out’ to get back on your feet. Fools like you who are broken down, always run to the sista to lift you up, after Mng-Soo and Becky take your dumb azz for what she can get out of you. No woman of any race wants to deal with a fool and certainly not long term..
@ Cloudscape: When women say they don’t need a man, I think what they really are saying is they don’t need a man who is not worthy of them. They don’t need a man who can’t add something productive to their lives.
Most women are tired of dealing with men who only bring more burden into their already over burdened lives. No woman wants that. What women want are quality men who enhance their lives. A smart man will get that and figure out how he can best fit into the life of the woman who is the object of his affection.
He will figure out what he can do to make her life sweeter and more enjoyable when he is in it. But sadly what I’ve seen is a lot of men expect women’ to jump through hoops to be with them just to say they have a man, no matter if that man isn’t helping them in any way. I think this is what this article speaks on.
Any woman regardless of her race, would want a man who is worthy, who brings assets and character to the table. Who shows by his action that he can take care of himself and the family they might have together.
No woman wants a sorry man who is looking to a woman to take care of him. That is not a man, but a little boy in a grown up body looking for a mommy figure who can also provide sex. When you think about it, that’s disgusting.
@ Raz, Also on the Hood/Pimp/Thug thing it didn’t originate in the Hood, it originated In the Mob, and on the Streets (Don’t get Hood and Street confused) where Mobsters, Pimps, and Playa’s got they start as Con-Men, In front Bars/Lounges/ Diners, Gas Stations etc. Thugs worked as Mob Enforcers, they had they own places, and then they brought it to the Hood, where they hid-out with a woman, or in a playa’s case His woman and his family and that became associated with the Hood because it’s a place to rest your head, and hide stuff. I know about this because I’m from the city Originated it and Made it famous.
And you still believe I’m in Jail, I thought that’s what Us Men call a Marriage, I ain’t married, and I’m not serving time in the service of the state. Again I was Raised right.
Raz:I’m a High Class Call Girl on the weekends that has a clientele of Wealthy Men, You need to have at least 6 figures to afford me.
And atleast 6 trips to the Clinic/Doctor’s Office every month too right? even more bogus if these wealthy men are married and have children But hey Who am I to judge? Glad you happy with your business,as you have loyal customers, GFE For Life! and I’m not on the East coast, and I don’t pay for a woman’s time or sex. so you a writer, and Hoe at the same time? how can you do both? as well as Work your Day Job during the week? Where do you find the time to be on here with all of your business ventures and activities? scratch that already know By Blackberry or at your “Sweetie’s” House, many benefactors and Sponsors.
Continue to Build your Clientele and the Line at the Doctor’s Office more power to you Raz, More power to you.
I often find myself shaking my head at Brothers who have either forgotten how to act like men, or who have never learned to act like men. I have to tip my hat to just about everything you’ve said.
Danta hit on the thugs and roughnecks, but like you said – guys of all walks do this crap.
I breaks my heart to see talented, intelligent and beautiful women demeaning themselves for guys that don’t hold up their end of the bargain when it comes to dating. I don’t know the exact numbers, but I understand that women outnumber men in most metropolitan areas, and I think that goes to a lot of guys heads. They figure, they can play games, and leave a trail of babies and broken hearts and its all good. But that’s just triflin!
I do want to say though – I think it’s cool for women to ask a guy out or speak up when someone catches their eye. A decent man will react well to this. Not to toot my own horn, but when I met my wife, it was her that gave her business card to a ‘female’ friend of mine. I was impressed by her confidence and her interest in me. The next time we spoke – we made plans for lunch [I paid : )] My point is, she broke the ice, but I made it a point to be a manly man, supportive, respectful and incourgaing to all she desired to achive.
I might be getting off the point here – but you have a great article. I’m gonna be a regular visitor here. Take care!
There is nothing wrong with a woman giving off signals to indicate interest, however it is not a good idea for women to ask men out. What your wife did was give you a signal through a mutual friend, that is totally different from asking you out directly.
I have been married to my husband for 26 years. We met because he caught my eye, so I asked a mutual friend to introduce us. Once we were introduced, the chemistry was palpable and he immediately asked me out on a date (he paid, of course, as a gentleman should). Our first date was actually a double date with the mutual friend and the friend’s girlfriend.
I have never heard of a lasting relationship occurring where the woman asked the man out first, I’m not saying it never happens, but the probability is, I’m sure, quite low.
Congratulations to you and your wife and best wishes to you both.
Yes– Women do the choosing, we may initiate or show interest or not but its on the man to make the move–he needs to work for what he wants–nothing has changed in that regard. It would be different if our society wasn’t still governed by Patriarchal standards, but when women chase men who don’t know how to fully accept it–we have what we have going on right now– a bunch of lazy men who expect to be taken care of.
I coulda sworn I said that too about all walks of life. ah well.
Garland;
I wrote that, because that’s what the focus is on here, and also that many men, especially alot of the young ones commin’ from all stations of life acting like this. I ain’t one-sided but the women that have responded on here in a negative manner feel that a Male with money and status is supposed to act a certain way, let the truth be told that’s the reason why Males that have that do it. again let the truth be told I seen more professional men behind bars than knuckleheads. I agree that a woman can break the ice, that shows me that she is genuninely interested. and that’s good she became your wife. I hope for the same too for myself. But again Brothers like you your views, and other dudes on this site that came with being receptive, or pointing out what they miss like I do, ain’t given any respect on here. unless all of the negative stuff in relationships, and then eventually ending up married to that same dude that contributed to the drama is included. Then it’s fine willing to go through all that drama for that to happen. But when you visit see the other postings on here with men really droppin’ science on here, and see the responses they get from the women. Just making you aware. Good luck on this site.
Danta: “again let the truth be told I seen more professional men behind bars than knuckleheads.”
Let the truth be told, that’s because your dumb butt is locked up somewhere which is how you supposedly know what you know. Now you got your computer time so here you are running to this blog to interact with women the only way you can through cyberspace. Can’t you use your free time to do something productive with your silly mind? Like learn something. No wonder you talk about ghetto life, playas so much. Yo butt is behind bars. lol
Seeee? You just copied and pasted it again,twice!!!! and again if you have a man, how come you not sharing that knowledge with other women on here that’s on this site? Okay you can make fun of me, and every other dude on this site and still not stick to the subject. Fascinating, But what have you done for me lately? I don’t talk about the Ghetto I write about it, and it’s not a vs. I was making people aware of Men from all walks of life, I killed your argument on Ray-Ray etc. and you can’t handle it. I can write about Men in the boardroom too, as well as middle-class, athletes etc. I do that you will really be done. No it doesn’t get me off, obviously it does you cause anyman on here hasn’t measured up to the Standards or Orion that you was doing Backflips to his post. What Olympic team are you on? and It was some responses I put up that you used your technique to critique and I had you Rolling on the floor. I drop more knowledge than you can handle, then you come with insults for shame Raz, For shame.
Danta’: “I drop more knowledge than you can handle, then you come with insults for shame Raz, For shame…Meanie.”
See? I knew it I’ve made you laugh more than once. now how can you be hostile towards what I write? when it’s the truth? and you know it is because you may have directly experienced it, or know somebody that has, I’m just sharing knowledge that’s it, that’s all.
Raz: I’m familiar with the vacation thing as well, But for myself I thought if you work a
job you can get a few days off or so, especially if you in school as well, which I’m goin’ for my 2nd Degree in Graphic Arts and 2Minors in Liberal Studies/Political Science and it was the 2nd week of Spring Break that I was off from both. This is my third semester,thanks for clearing that up.
Again you ain’t payin’ attention I’m not talking about the Ghetto, I’m talking about
these younger, and older men and women that
feel that they are those titles because of
who they hang out with, where they be at, and what they listen to.
Example: Remember that news footage, of the 17 year-old in Texas that was arrested for having his younger nephews bag and smoke weed while the mother was out? He thought he was a Drugdealer and had stock and a “Family”, Get it?
Ex.2 Back before 2000 hit it was a footage of a Knucklehead that showed his 3 year old son how to bag Drugs, passin’ the game on, and bein’ a Boss.
Ex.3 Recently around my area 2 high school students was arrested ages 17-18 brothers that ran a prostitution ring right under they high school’s nose that numbered about 10 females freshman, and sophmore girls, they from around my area in the Southwest Suburbs which is predominately Black and Middle-Class and they are too. they saw them videos, and learned the slang Big-Pimpin’.
Ex.4 On the news a well-respected principal in my city was caught on video at school in his office havin’ sex with a Substitute teacher 25 years his junior, and he’s married? Middle-Class and he was Black and she was a Sister.He’s a Playa. and Got it goin’ on.
True Women can have any guy they want but alot of times women pick the wrong one! even if it’s just for a casual relationship, quickes etc. half the dudes you say some women like because they have the image and can’t tell the difference between a Real Thug/Pimp etc. On top of that Dudes like myself from the Hood/Ghetto/Projects don’t act like that, we know where we come from and proud of it, and again if you were to ask all the so-called hood/street dudes, or popular rappers to talk about the positive things in the hood,
they would draw a Blank. They won’t tell you about playin’ It, Softball (Chicago Invented check your history books) Piggy, Stickball(on the east coast) 4 square, Boy Chase Girl, Bible studies in the summer on
the front lawn of one of the hood’s patriarch’s. goin’ to the corner store to buy candy, Flipping off mattresses, Dance Battles, Community Carnivals, Back to School Jams, Goin’ to the restaurant to Buy a Big-Baby Double Cheesburger/SuperTaco/Gyro/Submarine (or Hoagy as on the East-Coast) climbing rooftops etc. Battlin’ girls in running and dancin’ etc.
Because it ain’t cool to talk about that if they even experienced it because they may have just been in the house until they got of age to leave it. then on top of that the
dudes and women that never seen the hood but know people from it, think they hood, and didn’t see the positive of it but just went over they friend’s from the hood house, to watch movies, play a game, smoke weed or that Hi-tech stuff, listen to wack rappers, and have really bad, and disrespectful sex. It’s not according to me, again beggars can’t be choosers don’t be upset when you attracted to and get attracted to the wrong man, be it for a moment, or a lifetime. and I wrote to you I ain’t jealous, and definitely not envious of what and who I came up around.
And you rant and rave about the same thing all the time again not sticking to the subject, you Go through a thing with talkin’ about women being vivacious and outgoing and all that which means absolutely nothing Outgoing How? and you talk about men having Charisma? The Men that have that Are Public Speakers, Politicians and professional wrestlers, Are you sayin’ you want John Cena? and you blast men on here for all the physical things, and they mental makeup, You do this all the time he either ain’t attractive, has no charisma, got no money, no swagger, and finally yo favorite: No Woman. Everything I wrote about applies to all people from all walks of life all I’m doin’ is makin’ it clear to those that don’t fully understand but go off emotion,past hurts and tolerating intolerance and the people that just flat out don’t know. This everywhere Raz You’re line of work proves that.
No wonder you ain’t puttin’ females on game up on here, Because you a Part-Timer in it, It ain’t no such thing as strippers anymore, because Week-end warriors like yourself take all they business they can’t even make a living no more so now they enroll in nurse programs all over the country You messed the game up for them.
High Class Call Girl? you can’t even put those words in the same sentence why? because Female porn-stars have the same Hustle or Profession, Do you do the GFE? you didn’t think I knew about that did you? You also edited out what I wrote about Dudes that’s on the “Moist” tip that first existed in Wealthy men, still alive and well in them, and now in the community, as well as all areas Lower, Middle, and Upper Class. because it’s the truth, and you right I can’t afford you I’m not in your area, and I shouldn’t have to pay for something that’s free, as a man is to a woman, but some women do that too. And I can’t pay for it I got student loans, and a Bus Pass Keep doin’ you like the Wealthy men are, and if you doin’ all that you got no reason to be on this site, if you not passin’ game to your other sisters. Let me know when you in Chicago, I don’t wanna see you Just let me know so you can see how your line of Work will never mess with the Original. So what do you do during the week? Does your “Sweetie” know about this or your “Mister”? For shame Raz, For shame.
Danta’ give it a rest, my eyes glazed over trying to read your epic novel.
Raz: Atleast your eyes glazed and not closed. I didn’t know it was epic.
Since we on that and you say I talk about the hood so much which I don’t tell me about Middle-Class life the upper-echelon and all that. Since what I write is redundant and boring but you can’t say it’s not the truth. whether or not it happens frequently or every blue moon, it’s the truth.
Danta’ it’s not ‘the truth’ it’s your opinion and your opinion doesn’t make it ‘the truth’. Now go away and stop bothering me.
Raz: It is is the Truth, why? because it happens everywhere, and people talk about it all the time, also it’s been footage of the news of these things as well, it’s not opinion when it happens everywhere, again frequently or not. Don’t get mad at me because I know what I’m talking about and through experience
And again tell me about the Middle-Class, and the Upper Crust you won’t because you don’t know. and I don’t bother you, weren’t you the one that commented on me no t havin’ intelligence, swag and all that? Go bother yourself.
And Softball did Originate in Chicago
Thillen Stadium, So that’s my opinion too right?
How can patriarchy be the root cause? The common definition is a social system where the male is the central authority figure, where men hold authority over women, children and property. Statistics bear out that the black man is hardly an authority figure in their homes, communities or jobs and its steadily declining. Black men are absent from households (70% single headed household), black women surpass us in college completion rates, we lead high school drop out rates, and jobless rates and are overly represented in the prison system.
Silentbro: “How can patriarchy be the root cause?”
Yes SilentBro Patriarchy is the root cause. This rules of this world has been set up for men to benefit men. Regardless of black men falling behind, this doesn’t change their mindset and how they were indoctrinated in their attitudes towards women. Men of all races have had it ingrained that they are superior to women. Regardless of that man’s station in life, it’s that attitude that they have. Men have an attitude of a sense of entitlement. Just look at the homeless man on the street who doesn’t have a roof over his head. That doesn’t prevent him from ‘thinking’ that he is entitled to a woman that ‘he wants’ because ‘he wants it’.
What someone achieves or doesn’t achieve has no bearing on their thought processes and their attitudes in life. You can have a man who is a multibillionaire and still have low self esteem, insecurity, about himself which he projects to the woman in his life. You are mixing apples and oranges here. This society has been set up by men and religion which governs how this society runs (another institutionalized rule created by men), have long upheld that men come before women and that women are supposed to be self sacrificing for men. Women’s achievements are considered second rate to men. Let’s not forget that women were not allowed even to vote, own property or even attend college like men could. If there was only money enough to send one sibling to college it was decided that the male child would go because the female was supposed to ‘marry to achieve security. This is why you have women socialized to go over and beyond, jump through hoops to please a man because society expects this of them, ‘society’ meaning the collective ‘man’ who set up the rules of society.
Co-sign Raz, besides, the fact that some men on this board have a hard time grasping how Patriarchy affects everything in this society, especially relationships between the sexes, just shows how damaged they are from this system. Let me break it down like this–what I meant by my original statement was that Patriarchy ordered that men are men because they are providers and so-called pillars of strength that aren’t supposed to show any emotion besides anger and lust. But the fact is plenty of men are damaged because they have been taught to disregard their emotions. They ruin the relationships between women and men because they aren’t in tune to their own feelings and often use women for their emotional outlets. The problem is a lot of women are fed up with this behavior– Men who can’t express themselves or use anger out of fear in unacceptable ways. Couple that with the fact that women provide for themselves these days. We don’t NEED men to do that for us, it doesn’t mean we don’t want men to be in our lives, it doesn’t mean we don’t want men to WANT to take care of us–we still WANT those things. We still want men to take care of our physical, financial AND emotional needs because we can do the same. We want RECIPROCITY. Just because we can do it all by ourselves doesn’t mean we want to or should. We want equanimity and partnerships. Men need to realize that there is more to being a man than bringing home the bread and making babies. A man should still go for what he wants and what he knows. A man should have self respect and self discipline if he wants a woman with the same. A man should know how to take care of himself so that he can take care of others. A man should always have a job. Ain’t nothing worse than a worthless man, lounging around on his ass. The question is just because women are more empowered these days, how does that dis-empower men if you will? What else makes or defines a man?
Patriarchy IS at the root of the deteriorating black family, by definition. What so many of us ‘cyber’ analysts fail to account for is the fact that America’s societal norms and its authoritative hierarchies were established for the infrastructure of white America, which historically excluded us. That means, the norm and the inclination to conform to that feels foreign to some (many?) black men. Whether it SHOULD or SHOULDN’T feel that way is irrelevant. WHEN a man perceives a certain style of dress, communication, career model and/or interpersonal relating as uncomfortable he often chooses not to conform to it. That would be fine as long as there was an alternate norm and authoritative hierarchy for him to cling to…but there isn’t…so we wander out here conflicted, confused and con-fukked up!
I’m currently dating a woman who earns more money than me. Although I can with no problem, she never lets me pay for dinner drinks, or any other expenses on dates, she even offers to pay for everything sometimes. She has told me that the guys she’s dated who earn what she does or more often act very entitled. Should I feel like less of a man because the woman I’m dating won’t let me pay for anything?
I did at first but now don’t feel like it’s a problem. I certainly see a problem with guys who will let a woman completely support them, and think nothing of it, but I don’t see a problem in a woman paying for dates or splitting the costs if she earns more money.
BlackNarcissus: “I’m currently dating a woman who earns more money than me. Although I can with no problem, she never lets me pay for dinner drinks, or any other expenses on dates, she even offers to pay for everything sometimes. She has told me that the guys she’s dated who earn what she does or more often act very entitled”
When a woman acts like this towards a man she is sending him the message that she doesn’t see him as Mr. Right, just Mr. Right now and she wants you to know loudly and clearly that you are not entitled to anything from her just because you are dating her, she calls the shots and doesn’t take you seriously as ‘The One.’
Women who see the man they’re dating as ‘The One’ want him to act like a man, be chivalrous to her and show gentleman behavior. They want that from that man. This woman doesn’t want that from you and her paying for dates is letting you know where you stand with her. She doesn’t want you acting entitled towards her and she doesn’t see you as The Man of her dreams.
It also sounds like there may be a little competition involved. Most women don’t compete with their man if they feel secure in the relationship see him as a solid, viable partner or equal in the relationship. Keep in mind that the inequity that the woman percieves is not always monetary. But her actions are clearly saying that she doesn’t see you as her ideal mate.
LMH: “But her actions are clearly saying that she doesn’t see you as her ideal mate.”
Exactly LMH, a woman who sees a man as an ideal mate doesn’t behave like this, she doesn’t attempt to one-up him or compete with him. She wants him to show his masculinity and this woman is clearly sending out the message that whatever else she’s looking for, this dude ain’t the one. She might just be in it just like him lighthearted dating, nothing serious. Moving along.
I agree Raz, I don’t know why men tend to think that only a certain type of man act like spoiled babies depending on women to help them come up. It’s an urban legend I believe that they tell themselves to make sure they don’t look to closely at themselves in case the shoe fits them.
One of my best friends, was dating a guy who was in college and wasn’t any of those types of people that this Danta described. Yet he had the attitude that women he dated ‘owed him’ for the privilege of him dating them. He had a sense of entitlement. So it about someone’s attitude rather than labeling them a gangbanger. That person could be a doctor, lawyer, or whatever, but if they have that entitlement attitude that a woman ‘owes’ them, then they will behave as though she has to ‘support him’.
My friend was in college and her boyfriend used to expect her to do his papers in English classes. He couldn’t be bothered with doing them. She was expected to get her lesson out, write her papers and his too. I told her to stop doing that. Dude needs to learn how to write paper and learn English composition. She stopped and he broke up with her. So he was just using her.
So these guys like Danta need to stop with the stereotypes that only ghetto people behave this way. My friend, myself and her boyfriend all came from suburban middle class families with educated parents. Raz you told Danta’ right, it’s about the attitude, and that negative entitlement attitude can be found in men in all walks of life.
I think my Brother said it best, I agree and I see it everyday:
“I grew up in a world of Hardworking men, and Pretty women, Now I see Hardworking Women, and Pretty men.”
Not all Black men are like this: Just the ones That believe that they are entitled to everything and didn’t work for it, which also includes the ones that don’t have proper respect for Men, women or themselves, the ones that fit what the stereotype is,the ones that most women being religious or grew up with values are almost automatically attracted to. Patriarchy has nothing to do with it, More Less the typical Knucklehead not seeing, or even knowing what it means to be a man. The Ones to look out for that fit this description Is your Moist Dudes, Dudes that be in and out of jail, some of the teenagers that think they hood, and your scrubs that don’t wanna do anything but have their basic needs take care of, And the wanna-be Pimps, and Gangstas, Drugdealers, and Thugs that show they masculinity with other dudes with them or in front of girl, Cursing at People they don’t know, Have a different Baby momma, or still live with they parents or grandparents smokin’ weed, and being on the block, Keepin’ it real, Listening to Hip-Pop or Hood-Pop, and keepin’ it hot for the streets. Do not make the mistake of thinking they represent all men, they Just in the front, frontin’. And for some reason They been what’s Hot for awhile. Real men are out there you just gotta look, or let him find you.
Danta’ ” Patriarchy has nothing to do with it, More Less the typical Knucklehead not seeing, or even knowing what it means to be a man. The Ones to look out for that fit this description Is your Moist Dudes, Dudes that be in and out of jail, some of the teenagers that think they hood, and your scrubs that don’t wanna do anything but have their basic needs take care of, And the wanna-be Pimps, and Gangstas, Drugdealers, and Thugs…”
Danta, Patriarchy has a lot to do with it. Men have always been regarded in this world as ‘more than a woman’. Women have always been expected to uphold men at their expense.
Did you grow up in the hood? All of your examples you use always refer to hood behavior as if these are the only type of people you know and interact with therefore,they are the only ones you can relate to. Plenty of men behave like this and they aren’t your ganstas drugdealers and thugs. I’ve known preachers who act like this, professional men who act like this. Men from all walks of life and on the socio-economic ladder act like this. When you comment perhaps you can use the disclaimer.
The people that ‘you know of’. These aren’t the only types. You are the one who is making the mistake of thinking all these type of men you named, “And the wanna-be Pimps, and Gangstas, Drugdealers, and Thugs” are the only type of men out there who act inappropriately towards women and display inappropriate behavior.
This shows how little you know. Just because a dude isn’t labeled like this, doesn’t get him a pass. But if these are all the type of males you know about, then that’s how you think. All men are capable of acting as this article describes. And they aren’t always your wanna-be Pimps, and Gangstas, Drugdealers, and Thugs. In fact quite a lot of men who don’t have these labels act just like this.
Exactly Raz!!! I have NEVER dated or dealt with anyone remotely like the men Danta describes, but I certainly recognize the behavior and the attitude described in the article.
Well a few of my responses didn’t post but I
will say this, I gave an emphasis on the highest degree because those dudes I wrote about describe the “New Women” the Professional men you talk about acting like this, LMH, Raz
Remember this They were like that before they became professional. the only thing now is Men that have those titles think they got an Act a Fool pass because of they status. Rhonda I get it you were sheltered,
Have you ever thought the Dude acted like that towards your girl is because he may have seen somebody else do it? Like his Parents? He probably saw them treat people like that, and thought he could do it too since his parents did it or whoever he saw do it.
Donald Trump had federal convictions when he was young, but is a millionaire and uses that same mentality he has to conduct business, make deals, and date different women every month. His status outweighs his personal issues eventhough he brings that to the business world. But we know it’s wrong.
That has nothing to do with Patriarchy when the Person is just Selfish or Bossy, and Demanding Professional Dudes are Bossy and Demanding Like Professional women are, or Just selfish, and the dudes I wrote about are Selfish, Demanding and feel a since of entitlement and will complain, get angry, or out of desperation use violence to get their way. I know more than you think Raz, but don’t act all shocked when you see what you’ve been told you need to marry or date like a Professional man such as a Doctor, lawyer CEO etc. Ain’t what you expected and you find out he’s just a man, with problems, but his status hides it. Look at people for who they really are and quit using the “He supposed to be professional, why is he actin’ like this song”. It’s Old.
What do you think patriarchy is? We live in a society where women have been viewed as second class citizens (even property) for decades, make that centuries. That is the very definition of patriarchy (although a rudimentary definition it is apt.) This is why you will find men from all socio-economic backgrounds with entitlement issues where women are concerned.
MEN HAVE ALWAYS HAD THE UPPER HAND! If a man fails to use that to his advantage, well that is just something he should address personally.
Women are not necessarily surprised by the attitudes discussed in the article, but they are certainly frustrated and disgusted that these attitudes prevail in 2011. I am definitely sick of and frustrated by how many men have used women’s accomplishments as an excuse to do absolutely nothing for themselves and then blame “feminism” and “the man” for their failures.
As to your “Professional v. Thug” mentality, the majority of men in this country fall in between those two categories and when women talk about the issues they have with men they are generally talking about a wide range of backgrounds not just the two categories you always fall back to in your comments.
I can’t speak for anyone but myself and the “song” I sing and will continue to sing until the day I die is “He is a grown a$$ man, why is he acting like this!?!?!” That song NEVER gets old my friend.
LMH:
Understood, I don’t fall back on anything but again the middle-of-line dudes that got sense, and can vibe with a woman ain’t mentioned by y’all. I haven’t seen it yet unless the word Lame, wack or other disses accompanies it. only the professionals, and the knuckleheads
get spoken about all the time. in tolerance of them and they behaviors You hate a playas for bein’ a playa but as long as you get the “good sex” It’s Alright! which anybody can have that kind of behavior from everywhere alittle bit of it is in everybody, but those with sense men and women know better. I didn’t say surprised, but that’s what comes out it’s usually he got this that and the other, why is he acting like this? that’s being shocked in a pose to surprised. what I’m sayin’ is y’all know this already y’all keep focusing on that and not payin’ attention to this new form of attitudes In men that’s commin’ up, and spreadin’ like wildfire. A Masculine-Brat that’s hard and a Sissy. Again Patriarchy only applies to Men with status, it never applied to lower-working class men, farmers, students etc. or Black Men, or men of other backgrounds. But there ain’t no team with a man who you ain’t serious about, that’s why I say find out first, and not later.
Men that come off like that from all sides can only front and fake for so long. Yeah he a grown “Male”, She’s a grown “Female” Grown men and Grown women don’t act like that. those that know how to handle themselves anyway.
Just Like all women are capable and have demonstrated they act like this too. Ethnic Background, and all of what you described is playin’ the Blame game,and Throwin’ stones.But You gotta take responsibility too and not allow it to happen,but play the victim role because you didn’t really find out about the Professional man. I see Homeless women act the same way a homeless man acts, I’m Not giving anybody a pass just sayin’ recognize what it is and who it is you talkin’ about. Forget professional men, because you only speak about them, and your Ray-Ray’s you never write about the Middle,having a Stable mind like we just don’t exist, I go from all angles all the time. I just told you what to look out for because you don’t know where it’s commin’ from You gonna go for how he looks, and what he has as always. just don’t focus on professional men men we know many of them got problems, or Your Ray-Ray’s that you let live with you, and protect him when he’s in trouble. Quit takin’ the Blue Pill you’ll feel better.
Not one woman on this site is dating a Ray Ray dude, so don’t even come on here attempting to insult the visitors to this site with that ghetto hoodrat nonsense.
Secondly, we speak of professional men because those are the assholes with their chests stuck out acting like they are better than every woman in the world, and 3/4 of the men as well. I remind men like you that put men into just two categories about the men in the middle all the time – on every one of my BlogTalk shows and in my writings. I talk about such men and how they are the majority of the decent men in the country. Guys working at Fed Ex, the post office, that own a small picture framing business or catering service, that are truck drivers, plumbers, electricians, clerks at Best Buy or Home Depot in the lumber department, etc.
And women have every right to want a man that is attractive to them. Nobody can get sexually excited over some mud duck ass man! Just like you all want a fine woman that makes your dick hard, we want a man that makes our heart race. The sexual drive is very strong in human beings and is a pleasant and rewarding component of adult relationships.
The one that needs to stop taking Blue Pills is you. Your incessant focus on ghetto people is redundant and boring. Let’s move on and talk about something else.
Deborrah: “The one that needs to stop taking Blue Pills is you. Your incessant focus on ghetto people is redundant and boring. Let’s move on and talk about something else.”
I don’t know why that dude is so obsessed with ghetto life. That’s all he knows and all he talks about. So redundant and sooo boring.
Raz:
What’s happenin’ how are you? Always got something to write, The Cut and Paste Master herself, I wasn’t talking about Ghetto-Life I wasn’t talking, I was writing there is a difference. I wrote about what dudes to look out for that’s commin’ from everywhere that again you ain’t payin’ attention to.
it’s all love continue to be the toughest chick on this site, rough behind them keys ain’t cha? One thing I can say for most women on this site that have disagreed with me they acknowledge what I wrote and respect it, and come with respect. I read your responses to so many dudes on here that you just try to embarrass on here, from all blogs, especially NigNore, and Valentine’s Day. So their names but you went Buckwild with all the dudes on here, so I say again is this the way you get hot? Just asking because this is childish I’mma write do you get “Hot” and sexually arroused Blasting men on here? Let me know so I can avoid the climax, obviously you waitin’ on that, and the many times you wrote on here to men in a disrespectful manner, you come off like “Let me get a piece first, before deborrah get at them,” Like you tryin’ us out. Real tough behind the keys, I haven’t called any woman on this site out of and not lady-like. You put words together that don’t make sense, insult everydude on here for no reason, cut paste what you want to blast, and twist the subject. ain’t you got nothin’ betta to do? You wrote about catchin’ more flies with honey, you need to follow your own advice, And if men are so bad, Why are you with one? He treats you good as you write, and won’t share that advice with other women on here on how to get a man like you have, You ain’t gonna do that. But more power to you Raz. Just know that Sticks and stones will break my bones, But your comments will neva, eva, eva, faze me period.
love,
Danta’
Danta’: “You wrote about catchin’ more flies with honey, you need to follow your own advice”
Ain’t nobody trying to catch these horse shyt flies such as you buzzing around on this blog. Get real. LOL. The man who ‘won me ‘ over ain’t hardly what I would call a ‘fly’.
Danta’ “Raz: What’s happenin’ how are you?…so I say again is this the way you get hot? Just asking because this is childish I’mma write do you get “Hot” and sexually arroused Blasting men on here? Let me know so I can avoid the climax, obviously you waitin’ on that…love Danta,”
Dayum! Apparently you get off on it. Your post just told on yourself and you tried to flip it off on me. Disgusting! Ugh!
Danta’ “And if men are so bad, Why are you with one?”
Knucklehead ‘males’ like you are the bad ones and can’t in any way shape form or fashion be called a man. I’m with a MAN, not a ‘male…’ BIG difference!
At Deborrah:
I heard one of your talkshows, and you was on that so-called ghetto mentality, and it as like instead of spittin’ knowledge you were having a conversation insulting what you don’t like, As if you perfect, and the dude speakin’ to you is a lame. I’m not going off the hood, read what I’m writing I said this is everywhere it’s many Males from all stations in life that act that way,and women too. In most of these blogs you rant and rave about them dudes that’s professional, and the thugs, and how men aren’t no good and ain’t qualified to lead and in the same breath, you will justify a playa, or a professional that is a drama king and a playa, and get mad at him for acting that way when you know what you were gonna get in the first place. I don’t want a woman that can arouse me, I want a woman that wants me as I want her, that everytime I see her I smile, and I do the same for her, don’t want her heart to race, I don’t want her to have a heart attack or stroke because of me and vice-versa eventhough I know CPR (certified for 15years). I’m happy that you just finally said something about the middle-ground dudes in a positive manner, because you blasted a many of them on here. including myself. You always do this when I come with something that hits you. and it’s funny because you wrote a while back nice guys don’t know how to screw and then respond back to me about the decent guys in this country, with their jobs, and self-owned businesses in other words: The Nice Dudes!But have never written about them personally on your Blogs, unless it’s bashing them, Queen Contradiction does it again! I don’t do drugs, never touch the stuff. Let’s talk about something else.
Like why alot of sisters young adult and full-grown ain’t dancing in the clubs no more they lapdancing or stripping. instead of showing they got a move or two? or some women out there want a man to be like a male-celebrity instead of tryin’ to holla at the male-celebrity himself.
or why have you advocate for Ray-Ray and them? and when a Dude calls you out on it, you avoid the question,or lash out or why women speak about Ray-Ray on this site justfying everything he does and may date him on the low? Yeah let’s talk.
You are making all these judgments about ONE show, when I’ve been doing that show for the past three years and have almost 100 broadcasts? Wow.
And if what I wrote and spoke about on my shows was only about YOU, then I could see all your personal references making sense. But from my perspective it sounds like you are whining. I say many positive things on my shows and posts about men with intelligence and that know how to act, but that is not what you choose to focus on. Instead you focus on what you DON’T like on here. If you really find the thoughts and posts so repulsive, why do you keep coming back? lol!
Danta’ : “…and you was on that so-called ghetto mentality, and it as like instead of spittin’ knowledge you were having a conversation insulting what you don’t like, As if you perfect, and the dude speakin’ to you is a lame. I’m not going off the hood, read what I’m writing I said this is everywhere…In most of these blogs you rant and rave about them dudes that’s professional, and the thugs, ”
Ghetto life Danta’ that’s all you know to talk about. Every single time you come to this blog to post, you can’t help yourself but talk about ghetto vs professional folks, thugs, and the hood. You’re the one who keeps ranting about it. That’s all you know to talk about. You’re stuck on this one thought and using up server space to keep going on and on like the energizer bunny on the same dayum tired thing. Give it a rest fool. Do something constructive with yourself while you on lock down like get hooked on phonics or something. Learn basic reading and writing skills, (you’re seriously lacking). Your reading comprehension and writing skills are roughly on a 5th grade level. Instead of coming on this blog, get some books and improve on that.
Deborrah,
No I’m not whinning, I’m letting you know what I saw on here with some of the clips you had, and also your webcasts I ain’t heard nothing different it’s always about havin’ his stuff together, and nothing else, and I know it doesn’t apply to me, but when you make generalizations such as speakin’ on Nice Dudes etc. then that feel comes out. You talk about a Man having money and not going to any check cashing places, You might not like this but Women be in those places more than men, Women work there, and they cash they checks there, the only time a Man would be in a place like that is if he was with his woman, and his woman would cash the check. I know you seen this happen, that’s why I can point it out. In Chicago we Got the Currency exchange the only time men go up there is to get a Bus pass, get change, A Sticker for they car, or License, to pay on they Cell or home phone bill, or a responsible dude to pay his utilities, or license, etc. that they made it Onestop place that work with all companies, Women be up there too, and work there as well. I make distinctions so people can really understand what my points are as well as go off experiences that I’ve had, and still do. Be it like this: Many women that are liking the hood mentality love the negative aspect of it, but don’t want the negative part of the hood-life just the image and partial exposure to it that’s been glorified for years through videos and the Hood Anthem for women Destiny’s Child: Soldier. and consider a Dude that is studious, or just cool as just wanting to have fun, and enjoy life as a lame to her, And you mostly find those types of women with that mindset of course the Neighborhood or “hood” also in Middle-Class Areas, or even Colleges Junior and Four Year., You also blasted men for going to a community college, or Junior college too. Atleast he’s getting an education that may land him in 4 year university.Some women also the majority of the time in places of power as was in my City, when a Woman was hired by her relative, and she then hired a knucklehead gave him a job with alot of responsibility, as well as pay, and was havin’ a sexual relationship with him, he wasn’t qualified and he didn’t do any of the work, and was given a pass by the woman’s relative on that but he didn’t know about the relationship between his cousin, and the dude. that as soon as it hit the news She resigned, and then he supposedly got put back in jail. And the relative which was President of the County who was already under scrutiny got voted out of office. With all that being said please answer the questions that I asked you from this response, your other shows may be different and if they are then I will let you know. But so far ain’t no difference.
Danta’ “Forget professional men, because you only speak about them, and your Ray-Ray’s you never write about the Middle,having a Stable mind like we just don’t exist,’
You are not professional nor do you have a stable mind, you are a knucklehead with a one-track focus on pimps ganstas and ghetto life and the hood. That’s all you talk about. Everyone one of your posts dwells on this one group of people. Professional stable minded men don’t dwell on stuff like this. Obviously you talk about what you either wish you were, or you’re jealous that you’re not gansta, playa or have any swagger that women find attractive, either way it’s loser talk.
Uhm… Yeah Raz what you said, That’s a pretty professional attitude you display in your responses back too. And you probably believe it ain’t trickin’ if you got it. and it’s amazing that you know so much about me, and don’t live in my city or know me personally. Again I wrote about the highest degree and how it is spreading to all stations of life. that’s affecting everybody just aa a popular reality show or a style of dress would. I have a stable mind, but really do you get your rocks off on blasting men on here? Also the way Deborrah wrote this article represents the Dudes behavior that is a knucklehead in a hood, that is also seen in Males not from the Hood the only thing different is they professional men which y’all put on NigNore. Can’t wish I was something, when I grew up around it, and saw how bad it was, can’t be jealous of Males that came up like me and with me, but chose another path. I don’t have swagger that’s another word being misused. Swagger is walking with confidence or Struttin’ so I do that that’s the swagger I have. I’m not a gangsta I don’t kill people and then receive awards from the city for it,or live in a city and run my operations in another city or country, I am not a professional and I hope not to be, professionalism doesn’t mean anything to me, never did. and I’m not a playa again I tell the truth, and don’t have to lie to get women. Me, myself gets women interested in me. And I remember seeing your status on her, You a writer yeah a writer on this Blog. and I invited you many times to check my profile out on facebook which you and anybody else including Deborrah is welcome to do. you say loser talk, but you punked out on the invitation. You’re a MEANIE, a Real Big Meanie. For shame Raz, For shame.
Danta’ : “You’re a MEANIE, a Real Big Meanie. For shame Raz, For shame.”
Bawahahahahahahahaa! ROTFLMAO. This lil punk azz jikka needs his azz kicked! A total waste of sperm and egg. A big whiny no pussy getting baby. lol.
I got another Rolling on the Floor from you. And don’t I have to get the woman first before sex happens? If all I hadda do was get the female organ I woulda been a Porn Star. Thanks Raz! your ignoring of the subject of this Blog, and responses knows no bounds. And you still punk out on the challenge, also you didn’t respond to the break-down of the titles you accuse me of wanting to be. I see your mix of english and Hood jargon hasn’t improved, I may be actually taller than you, Azz was used by MC Ren on his first Album Kizz my Azz, and by Bad Azz the rapper. and Jikka was that a play on Jay-Z? and how can I be Lil’ and Big at the same time? About gettin’ my body kicked You ain’t gonna do it! or anybody else for that matter. and a baby can’t get sex, you really oughta pay attention to how you write. and about the waste of sperm and egg I was My mother’s B-Day present, and my fathers pride and joy. The Cut and Paste master Strikes again. Sounds like you ain’t gettin’ any either by the way you insult dudes on here.Again For shame Raz, For Shame.
No Raz:
Actually I’m in the Suburbs of Chicago, on vacation from my job
That’s what you assume, I speak about the negative aspects of Ghetto-Life because that’s what women are attracted to in this new sense of danger and excitement ushered in by the wack-rappers/celebrities, and Ray-Ray Types you luv so much, and Hood dudes that rep that. Ghetto-Life is positive that’s what I rep. You automatically assume that I’m talkin’ about the Ghetto all the time, okay we know you can’t read that’s why you copy and paste comments of other people then interpret what you do and don’t like. I wasn’t talkin’ about the ghetto genuius I am talking about Males young and Old that are doing this that come from all walks of life it originated among Males that had power, became popularized in the Ghetto, and now is touching all males that think they gotta act like this in order to have women or to have they way. Let the truth be told you’re an idiot.
Men y’all claim are dogs, and what not, and in the same breath okay his playa ways if he was behind bars or not. Know that they can just about get any woman they want, or women they want, it ain’t a challenge to them anymore, so whatever they got that attracted you to them, they are using that to get with dudes now from everything to wearing what a woman that the dude he coming at likes will wear, to mean-muggin’ him to show the dude interest, or lick his lips at him, or stare at him and don’t say anything just like a woman does to a man she likes, or he may take it further by looking at you to and pointing to a woman, and then pointing to him to see what you like. Males that act like this on becoming the new women, the DL don’t exist they letting you know they will swing both ways, or be Fully “Moist” if they can get what they want. the pants saggin’, and skinny legs y’all think is sexy, hard, or fashion is actually a sign lettin’ you know he’s Moist. That’s what’s happening among males that do this from the Ghetto, the Single-Family home to the Boardroom and that’s what y’all need to pay attention to.
And I’m not in Jail, I work for a living, and that’s where I write from, or the Library. what do you do?, and again don’t blast somebody else when you do the same thing. Meanie.
Danta: “we know you can’t read…”
You’re right I can’t read ‘dantaglish’ Way over my head or more like under my feet. lol.
Danta’Actually I’m in the Suburbs of Chicago, on vacation from my job
Yeah I had a cousin on ‘vacation from his job too’ for about 3 to 10 months for good behavior. Bawahaha
Danta’: You automatically assume that I’m talkin’ about the Ghetto all the time
That’s cause you Do talk about pimp and ghetto life all the time. Every last one of your posts you’re like a broke record, same ol same ol.
Danta’: That’s what you assume, I speak about the negative aspects of Ghetto-Life because that’s what women are attracted to in this new sense of danger and excitement ushered in by the wack-rappers/celebrities, and Ray-Ray Types you luv so much, and Hood dudes that rep that. Men y’all claim are dogs, and what not, and in the same breath okay his playa ways if he was behind bars or not. Know that they can just about get any woman they want, or women they want, it ain’t a challenge to them anymore
Danta’, how many times do you have to be told that women on this site do not date pimps, thugs men behind bars or any of that? I’ve never dated a dude like that and I’m currently not dating a dude like that. Why do you keep harping on it? It must be because the woman you want, go for men like that and that’s not you. Yes some women do like the thug type, just like groupies follow the rappers/rockers/ballers. If you know you aren’t the type these women want, why don’t you find a woman who would find you desirable rather than keep going on your rant about women who prefer a certain ‘type’ of man. So what if they do. You sound jealous because they don’t want you. Women can want whomever they want. They don’t have to conform to what Danta’ thinks they ‘should’ want based on your standards. There are men who prefer a ‘certain type ‘ of woman. People like who they want. You focus on what you like and quit whining and judging the folks who aren’t like you.
Danta: “And I’m not in Jail, I work for a living, and that’s where I write from, or the Library. what do you do?”
I work as a high class call girl on weekends. I have an exclusive clientele of wealthy men. You have to make at least 6 figures to ‘afford me’.
Also, there are some things this woman won’t do and taking care of a man and asking men out are big NO NOs! These ninjas today want you to call them-they don’t even want to make the first move with a got dam phone call, don’t even know how or even try to make an effort to pursue something THEY are interested in–NEGATIVE.
If the man can’t step up his game on his OWN, and quit being a lazy, intimidated little weakling–then he definitely needs to keep stepping right on past me.
I think that is the problem, Patriarchy has boxed men into a corner, and now that women have come up and continue to fight against The Patriarchy, to get ours any way we can, to take care of ourselves and get the equal opportunities we deserve in life, somehow men took the cue, especially black men, that they should step down. Like because we are getting stronger now, that somehow makes them weaker! Why can’t we both be great and being the best people we can be?! It doesn’t make any sense. But they need to step their game up for real or else as time marches on–they will definitely be left behind.