Lonely? Here are Five Secrets To Meeting Mr. Right!
“What can I do to find the right guy! I’m tired of dating!!”
“What do I need to do to be the kind of woman that men want?”
Men .. undoubtedly the most discussed subject at every gathering of single females. Women young and old get together and strategize, trying to figure out how to dress, do their hair makeup and nails, and what to say to make love happen. Well, I have a few ideas I’d like to share with you, and they h ave nothing to do with your outfit.
(1) Project Confidence and Self-Esteem. A woman should be accepting and comfortable with herself. Men love women that are confident and sexy in their own eyes. And when you believe in yourself, men believe in you, too. When you feel good, you ooze confidence and sex appeal – traits that are very intriguing to men. Developing the ability to flirt is an essential element in the art of meeting and establishing contact with some of the other 95 million singles in America. Flirting can affirm a woman’s feminine charms or make a man feel especially good about his masculinity. Flirt confidently with a bright smile and a meaningful glance. And dress in a way that makes you feel good and flatters your figure, no matter what your body type. There is someone perfect for everyone, and men appreciate a wide variety of physical traits, body types and dress sizes. Watching what you eat and engaging in a regular exercise routine are wonderful lifestyle habits to adopt, but do not make these changes strictly to “get a man.” Exercise and eat to be strong and healthy, not a size 4.
(2) Get In the Kitchen. The phrase “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” still holds true. Invite an available bachelor over for a home cooked meal and watch him break his neck to get there! When a man with a grumbling stomach comes to your home and it’s smelling good, his favorite eats are on the stove, and you look pretty, he’s a goner. Feed him well, make him laugh and get him to relax and feel comfortable. Where is he going to get anything better than that? You’ll have to evict him to get him to leave!
(3) Respect Yourself. Many women are afraid a new man won’t like them if they establish boundaries and standards. They don’t realize that the lack of boundaries will pretty much guarantee his disdain. If you lay down like a carpet, you’ll get walked on. Never allow anyone to treat you callously. Stand up for yourself and clearly communicate the parameters under which a man will be allowed to be in your life. If he is out of pocket, let him know that the way he is acting is not on the list and what the repercussions are if he continues or repeats that behavior. You care about him and you treat him very well, but you do not condone disrespectful treatment of you, your home, your property, or your relationship. Not for a second.
(4) Be Mentally Engaging and Fun to Be Around. If your only hobbies and interests are watching television, reading fashion magazines, and shopping you are one boring broad. Do you know anything about sports? Can you put on shorts and sneakers and take it to the hoop? If the attractive bachelor you met is on a bowling league do you know how to play? Have you read a decent book lately? Can you carry on an intelligent conversation about a wide variety of topics so that he finds his time with you mentally stimulating? Are you deemed to be a “cool” person open to trying new things, or are you a close-minded stick in the mud? If you answered negatively to any of these questions, you need to find a way to become more fun. Most men work hard and experience a lot of stress; the last thing they want is some woman stressing them out even more!
(5) Present Yourself as A Team Player. An average guy working a 9-5 is looking for someone to pull the wagon with him, not sit it in the wagon with her legs crossed telling him to go faster! Men avoid entering into committed relationships when they feel afraid of losing out in some way. He must believe that you are a good deal…that a relationship with you brings more to his life than it costs him. No man wants to commit to a woman he is afraid will become a burden or use or hurt him in some way. Though a guy may initially receive an ego boost from playing Knight on a White Steed, he will eventually tire of the role and put down his shield. In spite of what you may have heard in fairy tales as young girls, it is not a man’s responsibility to save or take care of you – it is the responsibility of both parties to save and take care of EACH OTHER.
Let him see that you are a woman of confidence, that knows who she is and what she wants and is working steadily to achieve your goals. However, you must also communicate that you are willing to make room in your busy life for the right man – after all, everyone wants to feel that they are special and important to someone.
Communicate to the man you believe may be Mr. Right that you are willing to be a Communicate to the man you believe may be Mr. Right that you are willing to be a team, and will always do your part to make his life with you joyful and exciting. He’ll feel an emptiness when you aren’t around. Once he feels that his life is better, richer and more rewarding by having you around, you’ll be on your way to having the passionate, committed romance you seek.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder
Best article so far!
Am confused.. this is actually good advice.
@silent bro- Some men cook for their women. I dont. Does that make me a fake man?
Dasugo What do you do on those occasions where your woman doesn’t feel like cooking?
Great article and good advice!!! And I totally agree with everything the author said! I recently met a guy and we have been dating close to three motnhs, and he has complimented me on pretty much all five topics. He was attracted to my confidence and the way I carry myself, and we have alot in common as far as sports, exercising (same gym – different locations), TV shows, and we are constantly laughing! We have not been intimate yet because I want to be sure about the relationship, and he totally understood and was OK with it. As far as dating, if we go to the movies and he pays, I get the popcorn and drinks, or get the tip when he pays and vice versa. The icing on the cake is that I cooked for him for the first time last night, and the article nailed it – the first thing he said was “it smells good in here”!!! He could not believe how good the food tasted, and he didn’t want to leave. We just watched old episodes of Good Times and relaxed!
Again, great article and I hope women will read this and take the advice of the author. It really makes sense…..
Excellent article! Very clear and concise attributes that I agree will attract the right man. From my experience I have seen many single women spend too much time on working on outward attributes to attract a man at the exclusion on working on the inner qualities. I believe the “bait” determines what you catch. If you dress half naked then the man you catch will probably be very visual and short sighted on relationships and committments.
Good advice.
Best advice I’ve read EVER on this subject. Excellent job, Ms. Heartbeat.
He gotta earn that meal though. He will not be getting any ‘cooking’ on the first 3 dates. And that cooking needs to be reciprocal.
Co sign Raz!!!
No problem, real men cook and luv to cook for our women!