The Decline in Black Marriages… Is Marriage for Educated White People?
Another factor to consider is that college-educated women are only a minority of all younger females, and college educated men are an even smaller minority of all younger men. So when you look at the dating pool, the group with the much higher percentage amongst younger citizens is the noncollege educated market.
For non-college women, marriage is becoming the exception rather than the rule, and this applies to women of all races. Their mating pool consists mainly of non-college men. And noncollege men are not attractive as prospective husbands for reasons that are already familiar and which were discussed on the show: Their inability to support a wife and financially sustain the expenses of a family has been declining for more than 30 years. These men are increasingly reluctant to take on the commitment to marry in the first place, which contributes across the board to the high number of children being raised in homes with no father, a statistic which is at epidemic levels in the Black community.
These are the facts.
What I didn’t get was why there was so much animosity expressed towards women that sought higher education for themselves as well as in their partners? Since having an education has been proven to be the foundation upon which a married couple can achieve economic stability and growth, why were these Brothas so resistant to the suggestion?
Instead of being angry at women for wanting a man with education and rejecting suitors with only a high-school diploma, shouldn’t these guys instead enroll in school and BECOME THE MAN WOMEN ARE SEEKING?
Ralph Richard Banks is a professor at Stanford Law School and the author of the forthcoming book, “Is Marriage for White People?” which you can follow on Facebook or on Twitter.
The report by the Pew Research Center identifies a fundamental reconfiguration of marriage: As a consequence of increased education and greater access to high-paying jobs, wives are more likely than ever before to earn more and to be better educated than their husbands.
The increased percentage of wives who outearn their husbands signals the advent of more egalitarian marriages, a development that we should applaud. But if the experience of African Americans is any guide, the shifting relative status of men and women may also portend a threat to the stability and centrality of marriage in American society. The lingering discomfort among the couple, friends or family with role reversal marriages is not the only or even primary difficulty in such relationships.
As I have discovered in the course of research for my forthcoming book, dramatic disparities in earnings and education often signify differences in values, a divide that is deeper and more intractable than any rift created simply by the fact that her paycheck is bigger than his. Attitudes toward education, how to spend money, goals for one’s children, even leisure time activities — all reflect values that are shaped in part by one’s educational experiences and professional environment.
Among African Americans, the group most likely to have role reversal marriages, such relationships often are conflict-ridden and more likely to end in divorce than marriages where the partners are more economically and educationally compatible. That role reversal marriages among African Americans have not worked is reflected, in part, in the fact that black married couples across the socioeconomic spectrum are more likely to divorce, by far, than any other group.
The Pew report identifies another consequence of the economic and educational ascendance of women relative to men: the decline in marriage. This change too is more stark among African Americans. While white Americans are much less likely to be married now than in 1970, what is most striking is that black women are only half as likely as white women to be married. According to the Pew Report fewer than 1/3 of black women between 30-44 years old are married.
The African American marriage decline is not limited to the poor or economically marginal. Middle class black women are more unmarried than at any time since slavery and, as a result, have fewer children than any other group of women in our society. Black men too, including those who are the best educated and most financially secure, are more likely than ever to be unmarried.
The causes of these shifts are complicated, and their consequences for African Americans far-reaching. They also highlight a question that implicates us all: whether marriage will remain a bedrock social institution or whether African Americans are the canary in the coal mine heralding not just the reconfiguration but the re-evaluation of marriage itself, the slow withering away of what we have always assumed to be a universal institution.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture
There is an animosity towards we “uppity” black women who chose college and grad school and those folks relish seeing us alone and unchosen, searching high and low for a “good brotha” whether he be a surgeon or a janitor.
Now that I have found my future husband, I want to help other educated and ambitious black women who desire marriage do the same. Even though a tiny percentage of BW are finally getting the message that we, too, have options for dating and marriage beyond the tired ‘date a black male janitor’ advice, I am seeing articles pop up that are trying to get black women to feel guilty for exercising our options.
Those who would keep us in a box, shackled to a ‘community’ that needs us but rarely thanks, are NOT our sisters. Black women are asked to not even consider dating out until we have exhausted all black make options including ex-cons and babydaddies and even then, we are told our reasons for dating out must be “pure” and not a reflection on black men’s shortcomings. Articles like yours are so important.
http://thefreshxpress.com/2010/03/interracial-dating-is-not-the-only-way…
Please respond to this article so that young black women know they can date out for any reason they want without justifying in to folks like this college senior. It’s sad really. I wonder how many dates this girl has been asked on by “the brothas”.
This is sad that black men express such animosity towards black women for their achievements in education. Why don’t they view this as an asset instead of as a handicap. I think this points to their own insecurity and lacks in that department. Black men tend to define their manhood by someone else other than themselves. We also know that black men fall far behind other groups in attaining higher education and training. One hears the deflection that black men say. They still out earn black women even though they lag behind in education. This is untrue. Black women are out earning black men in droves now. And the few black men who do out earn, don’t compensate for the sheer overwhelming number of black women with degrees earning. Sure a truck driver earns probably more than a school teacher with an education, but what is his educational level? People want to be with someone with whom they are compatible with in more than finances. Can they communicate? I’m looking forward to the editorial that addresses this animosity and insecurity that black men display towards black women who want a partner on their level.