The Decline in Black Marriages… Is Marriage for Educated White People?
Last week I did two shows on Black women and their desire to marry a man with a college degree. The first show (on Wednesday January 20th), was based on a PEW Research Center report New Economics of Marriage – The Rise of Wives which stated that more men are now marrying women who make more money than they do, mainly because there are more high-income women to go around. In 1970, just 4% of men ages 30 to 44 had wives who brought in more loot than they did. By 2007, however, more than a fifth (22%) of men in that age bracket had wives who outearned them. Members of this thriving demographic are effectively doubling their income or more when they marry, without doubling their costs. For these couples, marriage is a huge “come up.”
The PEW numbers also show that marriage rates have declined most among the least educated men and women, which helps explain why the median household income figures for married men have pulled even further ahead of those for their single counterparts. In essence, more of the brokest and uneducated folks are single than before.
The study, which drew on household income data from the Decennial Census and the 2007 American Community Survey, conducted annually by the U.S. Census Bureau, showed that the biggest gainers were married college-educated men. The biggest losers were unmarried men who did not complete high school or who only had a high school diploma.
After adjusting for inflation, the 2007 cohort had lower household incomes than their 1970 counterparts. “The steeper decline in marriage among the less educated has contributed to a steeper decline in their income,” says one of the study’s authors, D’Vera Cohn.
Interestingly, the divorce rate is getting lower among college-educated high-income couples, while unmarried low-income men and women tend to partner up and then uncouple more rapidly.
“This leads to family instability and a cycle of disadvantage,” says Dalton Conley, social sciences dean at New York University. “Single parents often have trouble moving ahead in their careers, while low-earning parents have little income to save or invest. They fall further behind, while the families with two college-educated earners pull ever more ahead.”
Sociologists refer to the phenomenon of people marrying people who are like them as homogamy. Doctors don’t marry nurses anymore. They marry other doctors.
So you caught that I did TWO shows, right? The first one – Why Black Men Criticize Black Women With Dating Standards was followed up on Friday January 22, 2010 by Black Men, College, Dating and Relationships.
The reason for doing two shows was that we ran out of time! There were more than 100 people in the chatroom and on the phone, and there was just not enough time to take all the calls. Listeners clamored for a part two so we could continue the discussion and delve more fully into the reasons for the anger expressed by Black male callers and chatters.
Repeatedly we heard them complain that Black women seeking to marry a man with a similar level of education to their own was shallow and the reason there were so many single Black women. These fellas ranted and raved that Black women had standards that were too high, unrealistic, and that they should instead of focusing on “a piece of paper” look at the character of the man and his “potential.”
Hmmm.
Prisons and street corners are full of men with “potential” dude. Women of marrying age, that have done the hard work and sacrificed to put themselves through the rigors of college want and deserve to see proof that you are on the ball, not just running your mouth.
The disgruntled male callers failed to understand that choosing a partner and being compatible is based on a lot more than niceness or potential! As explained below, lifestyle choices also change as we are exposed to higher learning and broader experiences. They long for the days when women “knew their roles” and men were the unchallenged rulers of all they surveyed. These fellas poo-pooed the notion that an educated, accomplished woman would not see them as marriage material and would pass them by, no matter how “nice” a guy he may believe himself to be.
After all, research indicates that equality in a number of areas is associated with today’s successful relationships: similar background, social class and educational level among them. Respect for each other easily flows when these things roughly match. When one partner feels superior to the other for no reason other than the fact he has testicles, problems in that relationship will invariably occur, most likely culminating in divorce.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Society and Culture
There is an animosity towards we “uppity” black women who chose college and grad school and those folks relish seeing us alone and unchosen, searching high and low for a “good brotha” whether he be a surgeon or a janitor.
Now that I have found my future husband, I want to help other educated and ambitious black women who desire marriage do the same. Even though a tiny percentage of BW are finally getting the message that we, too, have options for dating and marriage beyond the tired ‘date a black male janitor’ advice, I am seeing articles pop up that are trying to get black women to feel guilty for exercising our options.
Those who would keep us in a box, shackled to a ‘community’ that needs us but rarely thanks, are NOT our sisters. Black women are asked to not even consider dating out until we have exhausted all black make options including ex-cons and babydaddies and even then, we are told our reasons for dating out must be “pure” and not a reflection on black men’s shortcomings. Articles like yours are so important.
http://thefreshxpress.com/2010/03/interracial-dating-is-not-the-only-way…
Please respond to this article so that young black women know they can date out for any reason they want without justifying in to folks like this college senior. It’s sad really. I wonder how many dates this girl has been asked on by “the brothas”.
This is sad that black men express such animosity towards black women for their achievements in education. Why don’t they view this as an asset instead of as a handicap. I think this points to their own insecurity and lacks in that department. Black men tend to define their manhood by someone else other than themselves. We also know that black men fall far behind other groups in attaining higher education and training. One hears the deflection that black men say. They still out earn black women even though they lag behind in education. This is untrue. Black women are out earning black men in droves now. And the few black men who do out earn, don’t compensate for the sheer overwhelming number of black women with degrees earning. Sure a truck driver earns probably more than a school teacher with an education, but what is his educational level? People want to be with someone with whom they are compatible with in more than finances. Can they communicate? I’m looking forward to the editorial that addresses this animosity and insecurity that black men display towards black women who want a partner on their level.