Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Deborrah's Latest Posts
Statistics on Black Women… Don’t Believe The Hype!
Are statistics true that show that Black women have a harder time with relationships than women of other races? Think about that and what truths are really exposed by an “average.” I suggest that all Americans be very leery of what is packaged as “statistics” when it comes to Black America. Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.
Both Dating and Fishing Are Sports
Have any of you ladies ever gone hunting or fishing? You should try it sometimes. It is a study in patience, planning and understanding the male mind. See, we can go to the grocery store and buy perfectly acceptable fish for $6.95 per pound that is already cleaned, boned and ready to eat. But men want excitement, to experience the thrill of winning and the memories and stories of the battle!
Radio Talk Show: Are Men Afraid of The Power of The Pu$$y?
On Wednesday, July 22nd at 7:00 p.m., Deborrah Cooper will discuss the double standard surrounding male and female sexuality! Why is it that in 2009, many decades past the sexual revolution, can a man screw around and freely celebrate and enjoy his sexuality, but a woman that does the same thing is labeled a ‘ho, […]
What Do Men Say Is “Sexy?”
In the United States women go on extreme diets to get thin; pierce lips, eyes, nostrils and nipples; or endure surgical procedures like breast enlargements, tummy tucks, Botox injections, face lifts and body waxing because they think men will find these physical modifications to be sexier. Surprise! The men I interviewed mentioned NONE of those things on their list of sexy attributes.
15 Ways To Save Your Relationship Without Leaving Your Bedroom!
On Wednesday, July 29th at 7:00 p.m., Deborrah Cooper will interview author Kimberly Dawn Neumann on her exciting new relationship book for couples entitled Sex Comes First – 15 Ways to Save Your Relationship Without Leaving Your Bedoom. Log onto The Sucka Free Dating Internet Radio Talk Show to participate in the live broadcast. […]
When I’m Good, I’m Very Good…But When I’m Bad, I’m Even Better!
Whether an angry, baby making hoochie, or a scripture quoting “good” woman, females at both ends of the spectrum of femininity are tiresome and boring. Both need to open their minds to new experiences and embrace the concept that a woman can be both intelligent and fun, spiritual and sexy – all at the same time. Tips for how to be an exciting woman that’s sometimes good, and sometimes not.
For Men: The Difference Between Interest and Desperation
He Says/She Says tackles the issue of rejection and dating for men. The authos explain the difference between showing interest in a woman and presenting oneself as desperate. Developing the ability to confidently show interest and approach a woman means guys must change their perspective and not be so attached to the outcome.
Single Black Women and Workplace Sexual Harassment
In an effort to “be nice” or out of fear of retaliation, single women allow men on their jobs to speak to them disrespectfully, touch them, or make crude comments or jokes. Women are also blamed for men’s behavior and feel guilty as they question what they did to “make him” take such illegal liberties. I’m here to tell you that no matter how small and insignificant others may view the emotional or psychic pain you feel after being subjected to such nasty behaviors, you are the ultimate decider of what is injurious. No one else gets to decide that for you!
The Dangers of the “Undefined” Relationship
Women must refuse to allow undefined relationships for long periods of time. For a relationship to develop any depth, the relationship must be acknowledged both privately and publicly by both people. If you’re participating in an undefined relationship but think it is going somewhere, you need to wake up and smell the game!
Becoming The Man Women Want
Women are frustrated and angry with men; men are confused about what modern women want and long for a return to “the good old days” when the male role was well-defined. Should women adjust their Fairy Tale expectations of Happily Ever After with the reality of who and what men are today? How can men adjust their caveman idea of “a man’s man” while still demonstrating strength and leadership so that the modern woman admires and respects him? If you’re confused about gender expectations and how to meet the needs of the opposite sex, this is the show for you!
Why Do We Settle for Less in Love and Life?
Young women are socialized to idealize marriage as a fairy tale dream come true. Marry your Prince and live happily ever after, right? Wrong! If both men and women had a more realistic understanding of marriage, we’d choose our spouses a lot differently. We’d reconsider walking away from partners that would have made wonderful husbands and wives over some minor stupid thing not on our fantasy list. Instead we leave them behind and look for explosive passion and a Soul Mate convinced we are doing so because we don’t want to settle…
Letters “Dear Abby” Admitted She Was at a Loss to Answer
Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be […]
New Comments