Black Men Be All Up in Their Feelings Like Women
Why oh why do black men get all sensitive when a black woman criticizes their behavior?
First they attempt to reject her statements of fact as untrue by saying “well that’s only the men YOU know.” By the time dozens of women chime in about men they’ve dated, worked with, met in networking events, been accosted by on the street, are related to, used to be married to, met online, interacted with on social media who behave in the manner described, they shut the hell up.
The next tactic is to demand that any post critical of black men use the word “SOME” to spare their wittle feelings. That shit is SO not gonna happen in this lifetime or the next. Ain’t nobody got time that!
I’ve always wondered why black men cannot seem to separate themselves from black men they KNOW are not like them — not on their socioeconomic level, not married like they are, not a responsible father and husband instead of baby daddy, not educated, arrest free, etc. Many seem unable to eliminate a group think perspective on black men from their psyche.
I’ve also wondered why they never get upset about generalized statements made by black women when it comes to things like:
- Black men are good dancers.
- Black men have big dicks.
- Black men have nice cars.
- Black men love women with a big booty.
- Black men are hard working.
- Black men love white women.
- Black men are great businessmen.
- Black men are good at sports.
- Black men are great in bed.
Why do they not want to point out “No! That’s not all of us! Not all of us have big dicks!” or “No! That’s not all of us! Not all black men are great in bed!” or “No! That’s not all of us! Not all black men are good at sports!”
Nope, they get quiet as a church house mouse on that type of thing. Although they know the statements above are certainly not true for all of them, or even most of them.
But let a black woman say anything like:
- Black men are criminals.
- Black men are violent hypermasculine thugs.
- Black men abandon their children.
- Black men ain’t shit cause all they do is lie, game and cheat on women.
- Black men drop out of school at alarming rates.
- Black men are physically and emotionally abusive to women.
- Black men luh dem hoes.
- Black men refuse to use condoms when they have sex and are responsible for spreading STDs and HIV to women.
Then suddenly it’s all bad and you want to raise hell about it. Then you want to say that the black woman saying these things obviously hates ALL BLACK MEN, and that she shouldn’t say ALL black men.
If you notice, nowhere in either grouping was the word ALL used.
I think black men are oversensitive and be way deep in their feelings too damn much. All this emotionalism is definitely feminine in nature. These modern black males are unable to separate the truth of the critical statements (backed up with news reports and statistics), that apply to a large segment of the black male population, and instead sit around crying about it instead of passing it on by since it doesn’t apply to them.
Grouping yourself in with folks you KNOW are not like you is ridiculous. Get over yourself!
And understand that no one is going to waste their time writing SOME for you in everything they post on the web to assuage your ego.
If something you read doesn’t apply to your dusty ass, then it doesn’t apply. Let it go.
Just like if the discussion were about good looking black millionaires, since that doesn’t apply to you either.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Men's Issues
swirlygirl
Swirlygirl, first off black women are ten times more screwed up than black men! You are not even happy with the way you look let alone what you are. Black women are the only women on the face of this planet that go to great extreme to alter their natural appearance, you all basically look and act like a bunch of clowns, with the fake hair and nails, trying to mimic European, Asian, and Latin women as far as your appearances go. furthermore, how many different races of other women do you see trying to look like black women? That’s right none! On the flip side you see many different races of men and boys trying to copy a black mans swag! In addition, to that, black women are some of the most negative, vile, disrespectful, and hate fullest most confused souls that I have ever had the misfortune of encountering. For example, just listen to some of your sisters conversations that they have with each other. Nine times out of ten it’s going to be about something negative, talking about somebody. as far as black men go I agree we are also fucked up but at least we don’t sit around bashing black women all the time, nor do we establish web sites dedicated to bashing black women. You mentioned the African Brothers as if they are the perfect personification of what a black man is supposed to be? I should be asking you what universe do you live in. FYI Africa is known as the basket case of the third world, move over there and be murdered in one of there never ending civil, and tribal wars, or die from drinking the dirty shit water they have over there because they can’t even keep a simple wale operating without China, or some European countries help. Hell they have a whole continent to themselves, and they still can’t get their shit together so don’t get caught up in all the romanticism about Africa, and Africans because there is nothing romantic about that place or the people. Lastly, the next time you want to call someone a bitch I suggest you look in the mirror, I guarantee you, you will see one of the biggest bitches there is.
Black women are more screwed up than black men? hahahaha!!!!!!! WOW! in what universe would you be in? NOBODY can top black men when it comes to being screwed up! That is where you beat everyone else! Look around. Go read the statistics, black women are leaps and bounds ahead of black men in America. Damn even African brothas can’t believe the stupidity of A A men. Bitch please. Black women have been the leaders for so long, it is starting to pay off for most! You know darn well black women deal with black men’s bs on the daily. Lying to yourself won’t help the situation.
Soon as you all do it, we’ll do it too. After all, black women love to “follow” black men, right? Women can only follow when you lead. So get busy leading!
In my opinion, I think that black women should be discussing their own shortcomings, instead of trashing black men all the time. They act like they are holier than thou and can’t make any mistakes, when the truth is they are even more screwed up than the black men they are complaining about.
Thank you Deborrah!