Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder
If You Didn’t Provide it For Yourself, It’s Not SELF Esteem!
Women with low self-esteem make poor choices in men out of fearful desperation. Positive relationships with men begin with establishing positive relationships with ourselves. Women must stop allowing men to impact or control in any way their self image, and thereby damage or control their SELF esteem.
Can Exes Be Just Friends?
Can exes be friends? Sure they CAN, but what would be the point? Someone is just going to try to cock-block or get back in where you don’t want them to be, flip out with jealousy, or be all up in your business. When its over, let it be over and move on.
If You Didn’t ‘Get’ How The Black Church Keeps Black Women Single…
Though somewhat surprised by the intensity of the debate on my article on The Black Church, I am not at all shocked at the shake up the article has caused. Always a maverick and unafraid of either contentious criticism or debate, who but Deb Cooper would have the gumption to question the motives of an institution held so dear by millions of Black people across the nation? After all, if one is an avid church-goer, how likely are you to question your church on your own?
The “Stupid Muthafucka!” Gene
Some singles are so anxious for love they rush into commitments with people they really don’t know much about. The older and wiser I get, the more I’ve come to realize the importance of taking the time to assess the personality, health history and attitudes of potential mates with a critical eye to their genetics. Why? Because stupidity is carried in the genes!
The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely
Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females. Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. The true reason that there are so many single, never married Black women in the United States is Black churches. Black women should abandon Black churches and focus more on themselves, their needs and those of their children than those of Black men or a religion which Black men use to castigate and control an entire race of women!
Sailing The Seven C’s of Love and Communication
There are seven primary behavioral patterns which dictate the success or failure of a romantic partnership. To encourage honest communication, respectful treatment and unyielding commitment to your relationship, try following these seven suggestions.
Should Women Ask Men Out on Dates?
Guest contributor Robert Monroe and columnist Deborrah Cooper debate the issue of women approaching and asking out a man that may not have noticed her or that may be too shy or afraid to take the first step. Though society has changed in many ways, what makes women feel loved and female expectations of male assertiveness remain unchanged. With that in mind, should women approach and ask men out on dates?
Are You in a Dead-End Relationship?
When you’ve invested time, energy and emotions into a relationship, it can be quite a challenge to let it go even when its not working. Avoid unnecessary heartbreak and stop wasting time in dead-end relationships. Here are advice columnist Deborrah Cooper’s top 10 warning signs which indicate a “crash and burn” may be in your future!
Don’t Waste Your Time on a Fearful Defeatist
Some people submit to defeat quickly. Their fear of failure causes them to settle for mediocrity instead of taking the risk to achieve excellence. Defeatist attitudes are easier to assume than facing one’s fears and moving forward. However, the courageous, those that become successful and leaders, those that make things happen never stop, never give up and never succumb willingly to defeat. The #1 goal of the courageous winner is to get to the other side of fear and the limitations fear places on our willingness to seek and then achieve greatness. Whatever you need to do, get over your fears!
Opposites Attract or Do You Attract Who You Are?
Which do we believe… opposites attract or you attract who you are? I really don’t think it’s at all necessary for a couple to be like a set of matched bookends or The Bobbsey Twins. Finding common ground with regards to emotional commitment, honesty, respect, and conscientious adherence to your marital ties, no matter how opposite you may be in dozens of ways, is the mark of a truly solid couple.
Rejection and Dating – Why Rejection Hurts
Rejection can hurt like hell and cause wounded singles to bunker down to lick their ego wounds. What these singles don’t realize, however, is that rejection may hurt but never under any circumstances should rejection ever be taken personally. However you were rejected and for whatever reason you were rejected, there are a few key steps to recovery. These steps won’t stop it from happening again but they will make you a better person for your experience!
The Three Types of Black Men
After studying Black men for decades, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are three different types of Black men. Sadly, more than half of the Black men in the dating pool are misogynists and truly hate women; their treatment of and the thoughts they express about Black women prove it.
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