Ghosting – The Slick Way to End a Dating Relationship
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting can be defined as
Abruptly and without warning ceasing all communication with someone you are either talking to (as in online), dating, or friends with, but no longer want to be bothered with. Ghosting is the preferred method of ending interactions for many who think folks should be able to get a clue without being verbally engaged or causing a big emotional scene.
Ghosting is not a gender specific behavior, though in romantic relationships, males tend to utilize this method more frequently than females who desire explanations and closure and to share their feelings.
Why is Ghosting Men’s Favorite Way to Dump Women?
Simply put…because it’s easier! Leaving the woman by ghosting her also means leaving behind having to deal with her feelings, her wants, her questions, her tears, and her begging for answers to WHYYYYY?, right along with her begging for a second chance. When a guy is ready to go, he doesn’t want to hear all that or answer any of your questions. In his mind since he got ghost on you and since you’re a big girl, you should already know what time it is and deal with him moving on without drama.
Why do Men Who Ghost Women Come Back?
Though ghosting is sometimes based on boredom, and sometimes fear of the emotions felt about this partner – in general ghosting takes place because the individual either lost interest, never really had much to begin with, or met someone else they were more interested in. Sometimes they come to their senses after time away to think. Sometimes the person they thought was better than you was actually a fruitcake or had too many skeletons to deal with once that closet door was opened. Sometimes they realize the boredom they thought they felt was really boredom with themselves and had nothing to do with you. Sometimes they are just trying to scheme up on some pussy. There are a dozen other reasons in addition to these for a ghosting type of fellow to return and start sniffing around.
Should Mr. Ghosting Get a Second Chance?
You have to know what you want, as well as what you will and will not tolerate. Think about the reasons he gives for why he is contacting you again. Consider whether they make sense and are in line with what you want for yourself and your life. If he is all on some other type of B.S., let him languish in his ghost juice and keep it moving. If you think he has matured and changed, investigate the matter. Just be sure to keep your emotions in check while you feel him out. Make sure what he says and how he treats you are in sync.
Check out the video for the full story on ghosting.
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
Follow Me:
Category: Date Smarter, Not Harder
