The True Path to a Man’s Heart

| 02/14/2017 | Comments (15)

People say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Others say it is through his penis. However both are wrong. You must capture a man’s imagination and taunt him with possibilities while frustrating him and denying him satisfaction at the same time.  Getting and keeping a man’s attention requires a complete change in thought processes for women.

What is the Way to a Man’s Heart?

The real way to a man’s heart is to be a total bitch. Men secretly love women that challenge them in every way imaginable and don’t really pay them much mind. They like that “fight for it” feeling… where they have to do work to “win her over.” Men enjoy having to prove themselves worthy of your time and attention.  If it comes too easy, to them it has no value. Put them off, don’t be the least bit bothered until you feel like it. Then when you give him some small pittance of recognition, he will be ecstatic with joy at having “succeeded.”

man angry that woman is frustrating him, but he secretly loves it and will give her his whole heart

Sadly, most women roll over and give up a smile, their heart and everything else they have to give at the drop of a dime. You worry about whether or not he likes you and wants to be with you, instead of thinking about how he needs to be showing you something before you consent to even go out with him. You all that are no challenge at all are totally boring to men within a few months.

Don’t you all notice how the drama causing females have men falling all over them?  That is because most men are boring and do the same damn things in and out every day.  Especially during basketball and football season, OMG! Men generally live boring, mundane lives of quiet desperation, and they look for the woman in their life to provide them with mental, physical and emotional stimulation.

Baking their favorite cookies, buying lingerie, learning new sex positions every damn week and listening to him whine about his job does not count.

Be a bitch instead!

Tell men “no!” at every possible opportunity. Say “no!” sometimes just because its sunny outside – you don’t need a reason! And conjugate the verb with “HELL” and “FUCK” and “HELLTOTHE” and “MUTHAFUCKA I SAID” and “YOU MUST BE OUT YO RABID ASS MIND” etc. for extra emphasis and stimulating romantic entertainment value.

When he wants you to do him a favor, look at him crazy and tell him to get it or do it his damn self since he posed to be THE MAN and all. Tell him to bring you something back too.

When he complains that he is hungry ask him “WTF YOU THINK I AM GONNA DO ABOUT IT, I AIN’T YA MAMA!”

If he wants you to fix him a plate, tell him that he has it twisted and neither Betty Crocker nor Mabel lives here. Fix your own plate and sit down and start eating. Remind him that since you were nice enough to cook, he is on trash, dishes and sweeping and mopping duty cause you like your kitchen cleaned every night.

If he starts whining about sex, ask him when he is going to learn some new tricks. Tell him he really ought to read some books and learn a few new bedroom tricks because his shit is getting boring. Tell him when he has something exciting to do that you will be happy to join him in bed.

And if he says “why don’t you love me?” Tell him “I do, you just don’t appreciate my style of loving because you are too emotional. Why can’t you be logical and reasonable about our relationship like I am!”

He will complain but secretly he’ll love it because you talk shit to him and he finds it to be wildly stimulating. When a woman talks shit to a man, it makes his dick hard. All of the above behaviors will make him crazy with passion for you. He will chase you to the ends of the earth and never want to leave your side.


Originally published Sept 8, 2010

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Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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Category: Women's Issues


My opinion to the true path to a man's heart is a consistent balance of being nice nasty.


This is complete nonsense. I would quickly dismiss any notion of any relationship notion with a woman acting like this! All you will get is an argumentative drama filled relationship. I have NEVER seen one successful relationship operating like this, and I know a lot of them.



I don't know how much of your article is tongue in cheek, but at the end of the day, you are right. Women need to know their own worth. We are so quick to give a man everything he wants because we have been taught "if you don't do it, he'll find someone who will". I've always felt, if my not cooking would send him into the arms of another woman, he wasn't 'mine' anyway!

Men like the chase, if you are ready and available every time he wants to see you, it won't take long for the thrill to be gone. Allow a man to MISS you for a minute. Stop being so willing to drop everything you are doing just because a man finally decides to call you. Stop accepting calls and visits after a decent hour (for me, it's ten pm). Have standards and a good man will meet them.

I hate to see women who will drop her friends as soon as they hook up with a guy. That friend will be the one you will need to bitch to when he's done with you, so keep her close. All that said, I don't think that you have to be abrasive or be a bitch on wheels to get your point across. You can still be that magnificent black woman who earns respect because she gives it. I don't like to resort to stereotypical, neck ringing black woman antics because that's not me. I use language to convey my thoughts and I'm confident that he understands the situation once we are done.

If women will learn how to be by themselves, to enjoy their own company, to be brave and tenacious, then they will learn that men are just desserts, not the whole meal. We can live without them if a push came to a shove. It's lovely to live with them when we are honored and treasured, but we have to demand and command that respect.


Wow! I think this is completely true. I hear too, too many complaining about the woman in their lives - unsupportive, argumentative, confrontational, etc. There are TOO many of them complaining for this to be a coincidence there is some definite logic in what you are saying.

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