Daughter Was Fighting at School
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
My daughter was playing a game with her friends where she was acting as a ‘bodyguard’ for another friend. Another group of kids wanted her friend to move out of the way and my daughter stepped in front of her friend as a joke. One of the boys in the other group of kids pushed my daughter to get her out of the way…she pushed him back…and he punched her in the face. (They are all 10 or 11 years old.) The boy was sent home and I am waiting to hear from the Principal to get more details.
I just told my daughter over the phone that she should not have pushed back…that she should have walked away once the situation stopped being a joke. I am a miffed at the boy…a little proud that she stood up for herself…and a little confused as to what, if any, punishment is deserved.
This is a first for me…how would you handle this?
Signed,
Don’t Know What to Do
Dear Don’t Know:
WTF? You were wrong wrong wrong. Yes she should have pushed his ass back! Too bad she didn’t kick him in the nutts! A boy should not put his hands on a girl or anyone in an aggressive manner just because the person doesn’t do what HE wants them to do! Who the hell does he think he is!
When you go to that school you tell the principle that your daughter has every right to defend herself against an assault, which is what it is when another puts their hands on your personage in an aggressive manner. Insist that the boy be suspended for at least a week, and that his parents make him apologize to your daughter for assaulting her. If he was an adult male and did that to a female – say at a store or at work – his little ass would be behind bars right now.
Let those parents know that their son is on a dangerous path to prison if he keeps thinking that he has the right to push, shove and punch people to make them do his bidding.
Your daughter deserves NO PUNISHMENT AT ALL. You tell her that she just weathered the first of waht will likely be many interactions with males that have a believe in their innate superiority to women and that she is to defend herself against their aggressiveness at all costs. Tell her that when she gets to high school you will buy her a stun gun and that if a man ever puts his hands on her again, she is to hit him with 1 million volts and drop his ass like a hot rock to the pavement. It will surely be the last time he even THINKS of putting his hands on a woman again.
No, your child did nothing wrong. Please do not punish her. Talk to her about how some men are violent against women. Tell her how proud you are that she stood up for herself and that she is your SHERO. Tell her that she is strong, courageous, and the best friend that anyone could ever imagine having.
I don’t even know her and I think she is the bomb! 🙂
Deborrah
Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.
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Category: Dating Advice
