Fart Etiquette At The Gym

| 05/10/2009 | Comments (0)

Since many singles meet potential romantic partners at health and fitness clubs around the world, it seemed prudent to provide guidelines for a common issue when exercising – gas.

Fart Etiquette – How to Handle Farting While Working Out

Today, a fellow gym member was doing crunches on the bench. Suddenly, he released a loud thunderbolt of fart.

Everyone else walked away, but because I was doing bench press, I could not get up fast enough. The man looked at me and smiled. I told him, “Bro, I had to hold my breath for 40 seconds, and my heart almost stopped beating!”

No, I was not trying to be rude, but I talked to him nicely as I have known this guy in the same gym for a year.

So, have you farted in gym before when you are working out, doing yoga in the classes or changing in the locker room? If you do and wonder what to do or say, no worries! Read on.

Unofficial Fart Etiquette in Gym:

  1. Hold your fart and then quickly rush to toilet and do it there if possible. Don’t hold it for too long though as the gas mixture may be absorbed in the blood stream and is exhaled as bad breath.
  2. If you are not able to hold it, saying simple words like “Excuse me” most of the time, admitting and apologizing is good enough.
  3. You may try to look at the nearest of your companions. However, most already know this trick and it is likely to fail.
  4. May be you can try, “Did somebody step on a duck?”
  5. Or you can try raising your voice or sing suddenly when the wind shoot out. Why? Try to cover the sound.
  6. If all the above fails and people still stare at you, you may want to turn the wrongdoing into an achievement. Be proud. Fart another time and make sure it is louder or smell even worse than the previous one. Challenge those who stare at you to beat you with an even louder fart.

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Deborrah

Veteran social researcher, relationship advice columnist, author and radio host. Author of hundreds of articles on American and black culture, gender issues, singles, dating and relationships. Author of "Sucka Free Love!" , "The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid," "The Black Church - Where Women Pray and Men Pray," and "Why Vegan is the New Black" all available on Amazon.Com. Her unique voice and insightful commentary have delighted fans and riled haters for 20 years. Read her stuff on SurvivingDating.Com and AskHeartBeat.Com.

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